Remember Maureen O'Govern's song "There Has To Be A Morning After" from the 1972 film "Poseidon Adventure?" Well, if you don't, that's OK!!! The lyrics though, roughly describe the way I felt New Years morning...very roughly.
At any rate I was up drinking my first coffee of 2015 and noticed the sleeveless tank top which drapes down over my hips as a nightshirt. Actually I should say, I noticed my body in it in the full length hotel room mirror.
The experience was similar to meeting up with a person you have known but just hadn't seen for awhile. My HRT changes of course have been happening but not as fast as I thought they should, but faster than I thought over time.
I was looking at a decidedly feminized version of the old me. Starting at "the girls" and my biceps, my girls still are coming along nicely and my biceps are going away nicely! Can't wait for next summer and the sleeveless fashions. Unlike the Jefferson's I began to movin' on down to my hips and waist area.
I could see with a little (or more) dieting in my tummy area, I could just maybe begin to exceed my expectations of how this HRT feminization process will work in the very near future. A nice start to the New Years!
**It is quite possible you have no idea of my references above, but being a good girl I gave you links!!! What other transgender blogger is so knowledgeable or nice?
Saturday, January 3, 2015
The Best New Years Post EVER?
I suppose I get jaded, OK, I am jaded.
Plus, since I have written a daily blog for well over three years now, I know how difficult it is to maintain perspective.
Yesterday, I saw "perspective" on a transgender stage I don't normally see when I made my regular visit to Stana's Femulate blog. Stana very simply, posted a before and after picture of herself. I was blown away. Whoa I thought, that's huge. It took a lot for me to post my "before" picture here in the blog long ago in one of my side pages. I suppose first I was afraid, then as I transitioned, the person I saw wasn't me. I wondered if anyone else cared and why?
Since I have been a regular visitor to her blog, I know Stana has struggled over the question of coming out and living as her natural self for awhile now. Seemingly, her picture on one of the most visited cross dressing/transgender based blogs anywhere answered a ton of questions.
We all know though, there is a huge jump from identifying as a cross dresser to a transgender person. I have never made a value judgment on who does or doesn't make the jump. Plus, I also know from experience, many never do. Many reasons are ironically rooted in the same male lives we are/were stuck in. You know, shut up, suck it up, don't complain and move on-be a man. Of course, doing this makes our plight all so more serious. Take Leelah Alcorn for example, reportedly, her Dad still is calling her his son. I have a long term friend who refuses to even consider he may be trans get out of one marriage to a very unsupportive spouse and within a couple months get engaged at the age of 65. I asked did he find it important to tell his new fiancé? Of course he didn't. This is the guy who "posed" as a generic woman for over a year on a site and built a whole new life...catfishing?
Those are just a few of the main reasons I most certainly applaud Stana for being one of the ultimate "mentors/role models" I have had the pleasure of ever meeting. Forget the gorgeous part, I go to her obvious love of living her life on it's own terms. She is not alone, so many of other of you visitors to Cyrsti's Condo speak to the same idea of shedding your gender bonds. If you haven't yet:
Stana is living proof you can do it!!!
Plus, since I have written a daily blog for well over three years now, I know how difficult it is to maintain perspective.
Yesterday, I saw "perspective" on a transgender stage I don't normally see when I made my regular visit to Stana's Femulate blog. Stana very simply, posted a before and after picture of herself. I was blown away. Whoa I thought, that's huge. It took a lot for me to post my "before" picture here in the blog long ago in one of my side pages. I suppose first I was afraid, then as I transitioned, the person I saw wasn't me. I wondered if anyone else cared and why?
Since I have been a regular visitor to her blog, I know Stana has struggled over the question of coming out and living as her natural self for awhile now. Seemingly, her picture on one of the most visited cross dressing/transgender based blogs anywhere answered a ton of questions.
We all know though, there is a huge jump from identifying as a cross dresser to a transgender person. I have never made a value judgment on who does or doesn't make the jump. Plus, I also know from experience, many never do. Many reasons are ironically rooted in the same male lives we are/were stuck in. You know, shut up, suck it up, don't complain and move on-be a man. Of course, doing this makes our plight all so more serious. Take Leelah Alcorn for example, reportedly, her Dad still is calling her his son. I have a long term friend who refuses to even consider he may be trans get out of one marriage to a very unsupportive spouse and within a couple months get engaged at the age of 65. I asked did he find it important to tell his new fiancé? Of course he didn't. This is the guy who "posed" as a generic woman for over a year on a site and built a whole new life...catfishing?
Those are just a few of the main reasons I most certainly applaud Stana for being one of the ultimate "mentors/role models" I have had the pleasure of ever meeting. Forget the gorgeous part, I go to her obvious love of living her life on it's own terms. She is not alone, so many of other of you visitors to Cyrsti's Condo speak to the same idea of shedding your gender bonds. If you haven't yet:
Stana is living proof you can do it!!!
Friday, January 2, 2015
It's "Duck" Hunting Season in Ohio!
If you really don't know what any of this means, I'm just another obnoxious member of the Buckeye Nation! And a proud transgender one!
Transgender Christians?
I promise I am going to begin to pull back from the Leelah Alcorn story. In the meantime, I urge you all to check out the comments to the Cyrsti's Condo recent posts on the subject.
I know many of you are deeply religious and transgender...Christian (Paula), Muslim, Hindu or whatever. Unfortunately, no major religion has a corner on LGBTQ cruelty. It's just in my life and environment is based in Christianity, so I carry an extra bias. Too many times, as a transgender woman, I have been condemned to hell by a "loving and caring" Christian person. And surely don't get me started on my view of the Catholics.
The problem is not the religion, it's the people. Scarier yet are the readers I have heard from are fairly sure Leelah's suicide will drive the fundamentalist Christians further into their "bunker mentalities."
Plus, already here in Cincinnati, I heard a news story this morning about an upcoming vigil for Leelah Alcorn on the number one morning news show. The station used her correct feminine name but that was it. The writer of the story was a master of not using pronouns or the transgender word as I didn't hear either.
It's unfortunate religion of any type should be the main source of LGBTQ bigotry- then again it's not the religion-it's the humans.
I know many of you are deeply religious and transgender...Christian (Paula), Muslim, Hindu or whatever. Unfortunately, no major religion has a corner on LGBTQ cruelty. It's just in my life and environment is based in Christianity, so I carry an extra bias. Too many times, as a transgender woman, I have been condemned to hell by a "loving and caring" Christian person. And surely don't get me started on my view of the Catholics.
The problem is not the religion, it's the people. Scarier yet are the readers I have heard from are fairly sure Leelah's suicide will drive the fundamentalist Christians further into their "bunker mentalities."
Plus, already here in Cincinnati, I heard a news story this morning about an upcoming vigil for Leelah Alcorn on the number one morning news show. The station used her correct feminine name but that was it. The writer of the story was a master of not using pronouns or the transgender word as I didn't hear either.
It's unfortunate religion of any type should be the main source of LGBTQ bigotry- then again it's not the religion-it's the humans.
2015 in the "Nati"
Well, New Years Eve has come and gone and yes (no thanks to Liz, The Kracken and several hometown Cincinnati beers) I survived. The best way I can describe the experience is with this picture - it's as blurry as Liz and I felt!
It was taken in the "Moerline Lager House" which overlooks the Ohio River in the "Nati".
I was OK when Liz explained where the camera was!
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Christianity and the Transgender Person
Quite the question and one which needs a book to discuss-not just a Cyrsti's Condo blog post, but here we go. The motivations to write this come from a couple sources: the recent tragic suicide of young Leelah Alcorn from the Cincinnati, Ohio area, another blog post I just read AND a comment I received from a trans woman friend who grew up under similar circumstances.
First of all, you could say I am a non practicing Christian, baptized in the Methodist church. Personally, I am becoming a stronger and stronger earth based spiritual person and that is another post unto itself and not relevant to the topic.
The blog post I read was called "7 Deadly Sins Parents Commit Against Their Transgender Kids" – In Memory of Leelah Alcorn written by Susan Cottrell on a site called "Patheo's" Here is an excerpt from her number one:
One who knows more than a little about growing up in an ultra Christian family is the friend I mentioned above:
First of all, you could say I am a non practicing Christian, baptized in the Methodist church. Personally, I am becoming a stronger and stronger earth based spiritual person and that is another post unto itself and not relevant to the topic.
The blog post I read was called "7 Deadly Sins Parents Commit Against Their Transgender Kids" – In Memory of Leelah Alcorn written by Susan Cottrell on a site called "Patheo's" Here is an excerpt from her number one:
"When I was 14, I learned what transgender meant and cried of happiness. After 10 years of confusion I finally understood who I was. I immediately told my mom, and she reacted extremely negatively, telling me that it was a phase, that I would never truly be a girl, that God doesn’t make mistakes, that I am wrong. Who said anything about God making mistakes? Why do we keep hearing about God not making mistakes – from the people who consider others’ expression of identity and orientation a mistake? You’re the ones threatened by what you call a mistake."She goes on to write about misguided treatment by misguided parents operating their lives and the lives of their kids under the guise of Christianity. Even to the point of using "therapies" which the CIA would have been in trouble for.
One who knows more than a little about growing up in an ultra Christian family is the friend I mentioned above:
Raquel FosterDecember 31, 2014 at 12:44 PM
"The parents created a terrible environment for Leelah, and that was probably encouraged by their church, and their church is probably telling them now that their 'son' is the victim of being brainwashed by some horrible left-wing agenda. This all would've been swept under the rug in Cinci if it hadn't happened to get picked up nationally. All the Cinci news sources used to say 'him'. When I first saw the story, I was horrified that her note was going to be completely ignored. But all those news sources seem to have been updated to 'her'. This is only because of the national coverage and the fact that they realized they looked so ignorant. Maybe this kind of attention is enough that the parents will learn something, but I doubt it. The aggressive fundamentalists already tend to think that the whole world is conspiring against them, and this will likely just reinforce that feeling."
Thanks Racquel, I agree with her (unfortunately) and she was right pointing out the media in Cincinnati got rocked hard about their initial ignorance when first reporting this. In fact, in the space of three or four hours (from the time Racquel saw the story to when I saw it-the Cincinnati television station we were watching got it right, pronouns and all.
Then :
MichellewhoisDecember 31, 2014 at 9:28 AM
It always saddens me to learn about a life so young and full of hope being extinguished. Many of us know first hand the torments of growing up in a world that as you put it "Is another hell the preachers make their money sermonizing on".
You are right Michelle- follow the money! I'm afraid I'm speaking to the choir here to even open the door to religion and Leelah Alcorn. To not do it though would be a huge disservice to Leehlah's memory. R.I.P, Leelah, I'm sure by now you have found what Christianity was trying to tell you before it got distorted by the very humans it was trying to help.
Girl Things
Over the holidays, I inadvertently ran into a couple examples of feminine privilege. Before you set out to rock me, I'm not defining true gender privilege-just stereotypes which caught up with me.
1.- Liz's family Christmas dinner. The men around the dinner table began to talk about which automatic weapons they had ever fired. (Remember, Liz's Dad is a lifetime NRA member.) I am careful not to discuss politics! At any rate, I just assumed somewhere along the line I would be asked also. My only experience of course came in the US Army. Liz and I were the only two women at the table and never asked and of course I never volunteered. Liz would fire, hopefully with me not in range at the wrong time! (I'm always charming!)
Ironically, her Dad (89) "counsel's" Liz on her choice to be with a woman not a man. Can't win them all?
2.- One of the most irritating actions to me-almost up there with being called "Sir" is when another woman passes along something for me to open. Really? First of all, they don't realize how HRT does sap traditional "male strength" and do they pass something to open to another of their girlfriends? But- During the holidays, I'm learned to pass whatever I need opened over to Liz's 17 year old son and he loved it.
It's about time, since I lost a ton of intelligence when I MtF transitioned, I may as well regain whatever I can in my new world.
1.- Liz's family Christmas dinner. The men around the dinner table began to talk about which automatic weapons they had ever fired. (Remember, Liz's Dad is a lifetime NRA member.) I am careful not to discuss politics! At any rate, I just assumed somewhere along the line I would be asked also. My only experience of course came in the US Army. Liz and I were the only two women at the table and never asked and of course I never volunteered. Liz would fire, hopefully with me not in range at the wrong time! (I'm always charming!)
Ironically, her Dad (89) "counsel's" Liz on her choice to be with a woman not a man. Can't win them all?
2.- One of the most irritating actions to me-almost up there with being called "Sir" is when another woman passes along something for me to open. Really? First of all, they don't realize how HRT does sap traditional "male strength" and do they pass something to open to another of their girlfriends? But- During the holidays, I'm learned to pass whatever I need opened over to Liz's 17 year old son and he loved it.
It's about time, since I lost a ton of intelligence when I MtF transitioned, I may as well regain whatever I can in my new world.
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