Androgyny and the Trans Girl

One piece to the transgender transition journey is the time a person spends being androgynous.  The gender "never-never land."  I find it a relatively frustrating place to be on occasion. I know where I am going but I'm  like a kid in the back seat asking parents every half hour, "are we there yet?"

Also, androgyny offers a certain seduction to other human critters.  On the negative side, it leads to people being scared,  bullied and violence.

Until I can make the final jump into the girl's sandbox, I am stuck with a certain amount of androgyny.  The amount of attention I get on occasion is fun and other times tedious but (I hate this line) - it is what it is.  I wanted this, love this and here I am.  Interestingly, this weekend, I felt a real live "period" . Without the obvious happenings of course, my breasts were hard and sore and I felt out of sorts all weekend. Over the past couple of years, I have felt these feelings over a period of time (no pun intended) but never a condensed time period.  Believe me, I'm keeping track of the dates to see if I am on some sort of monthly cycle. Heading back to my androgyny subject matter, I know generic males have their own type of period too!

Also I know more than a few of you Cyrsti's Condo regulars will the like the touch of a gender androgyne. Enjoy a pix of the Russian MtF androgynous model  Andrew Gordiychuk.- rocking a hot shade of red lipstick and nails!  Find more on the New Male Fashion site here.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Woman of the Day"

Our feature cover today is the classic transgender female impersonator Coccinelle ( Jacqueline Charlotte Dufresnoy) who underwent SRS in Casablanca circa 1958.

Historical Blond

Ironically I ran across two pictures in one day which illustrated my "blond days."

The first is a picture of a person in a wig very reminiscent of one of my first "real wigs."  For some reason, one of the beauty parlors I used to walk by all the time had a wig in the window (between all the ultra short conservative wigs) which looked just like the one on the left.

I was in love but could not figure how I could ever build up the courage or the funds to buy it.  Through a complex series of happenings finally I was able to convince my then fiance to buy it and then I "appropriated" it.  All of this process occurred in the early 1970's when I was still in college and looking dead ahead at being drafted into the Army.

I called the process years later a common one for a vast majority of cross dressers I knew.  Wasn't being the blond "bombshell" everyone's ideal?  Can't speak for "everyone", but it was mine. I ended up keeping the wig much longer than my fiance who dived on me when I went into the military.  (True Love?)

Years later, in the picture you see to the right was blond wig I literally wore out as I was solidifying myself as a feminine person. (Before, I would spend a week as a blond, the next as a redhead, etc.)

Ironically, deep down, I knew that my hair color (blond or not) should be tied in to my complexion not fantasy. Especially, if I was to be successful in my quest to live in a feminine world.

Now of course, since I have "inherited" all of my real hair, I'm able to play in the "real hair" world of women.  Essentially, dark hair in the winter and lighter in the summer. Through the miracle of hair colors I'm able to go back to my roots (and color them). My natural air color before the gray sat in was nearly black but I have a heritage of red heads from my Mom's side of the family.

Somewhere admist all of that though the old blond love affair still exists.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Heads up kids, another Sunday Edition of the Condo has hit your front porch!  It's our pre-Christmas edition!

Page 1-The Week that Was-or Wasn't.  Last week, we discussed the effect of good or bad publicity on the transgender world.  Very simply, there can't be enough of good P.R. - until we don't need the "pub" at all.  Essentially,  a time when our whole community goes stealth. A time when we don't commit suicide at a higher rate, people don't harm us at a higher rate and we enjoy the same rights as any other American.

Page 2.- The CIA Comes Out? I'm just a geek and when I am directed to (Andee) LGBT news releases I had no knowledge of.- I get interested. Especially  if the news comes from one of the most unlikely places I can consider-the CIA. The much maligned agency is actually making strides in establishing a diverse culture.  From CIA Deputy Director Avril Haines:

Haines also highlighted the tremendous strides that CIA has made in reaching out to members of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) community across the country and in fostering an inclusive workforce, an initiative that was showcased this summer in interviews with seven LGBT Agency officers with the nation’s leading LGBT magazine, The Advocate. As one officer highlighted, “We are to the point…where there is simply no need to hide who you are, to be in the closet, to worry about what other people think about you, or what the potential career impact would be if you were an openly gay person.”

My point is, unlike most other major corporations, the CIA has recognized the worth of a person's skills-not their gender or sexual orientation.

Page 3.-Holiday's 2014 In just a couple more days, Christmas will have come and gone and 2015 will be right around the door.  Every year it is a time to stop and reflect what the year past meant to us and what the year coming up could mean to us.  On the other hand, it's a time to step out in our holiday finest, or being envious of the generics around you who do. May all of you get a chance to express yourself!!!

Page 4.- The Back Page.  Coming up, I'm going to be passing along Liz and I's New Year's Eve plans and yes, a very limited round of New Year's resolutions! Thanks to all for stopping by the "Condo" ...Peace!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Woman of the Day"

Our feature cover today is MtF androgynous Russian model Ivan Rastrepin

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Woman of the Day"

Our feature cover today is MtF transgender model Cammie Galloway rocking a vintage look!

Playing the "Angles?"

When you live in the United States, a lot happens.  Some of which are behind most of the big headlines. Until a week or so ago, I had no idea of any LGBT influence within an agency such as the CIA. When the agency came under scrutiny for it's handling of prisoners in the post 9-11 times.  If you remember, (at the time) one of Cyrsti's Condo readers passed along a Director of Intelligence presentation


Now she passed along unique look at behind the scenes from the Advocate:  I'm going to pass along a few excerpts: Not too long ago, openly LGBT people were denied federal security clearances. These days, the CIA has an extensive strategy in place to help trans employees confirm their gender expression.
The article goes on to tell the experience of Jenny
 (who declined to give her full name or official title, citing security concerns, in a phone interview with The Advocate) lived as a woman among friends and family but had to don what she calls male drag when she reported to work. It wore on her.

“While we’re undercover, we pledge to be honest with ourselves and the agency,” Jenny says.
In fact, the words “You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free” are engraved on the wall in the main building of the CIA. Jenny says everyone there takes that quote seriously.

“I write memos for the highest customers in the country — for the president — and we try to speak truth to power,” she continues. “But if we can’t be authentic and truthful about ourselves, then that’s a real problem.”

Jenny worked with her immediate supervisors, members of the agency’s LGBT employee affinity group (the Agency Network for Gay and Lesbian Employees, or ANGLE), and a dedicated senior officer with the agency’s human resources department. She and her colleagues reviewed the latest federal guidelines around transgender employees and set out on what would be a two-year journey to support Jenny living and working as her authentic self.

It turns out we have a Cyrsti's Condo blog visitor who was a part of the Angle group.  Andee!!! Thanks again for your input!!!

Follow the link above for more.

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

So All "Pub" Is Not Good "Pub?"

By "Pub" I am referring to "Publicity", specifically transgender pub.

Michelle and Pat responded to our recent Cyrsti's Condo post on the rise of positive transgender role models and shows on TV.  Appropriately both mentioned we all still suffer from the negative story too and Michelle even looked forward to the day when we trans folk are not news simply when we walk on to a podium or stage.

On occasion, I can be a visionary and see it happening, on others, my vision is not so good.  I would suppose the process depends exactly where you live. Yesterday was one of those days I agreed with Michelle's hopes as it was my time to shine in the waiting room of my small local Veterans Administration clinic. I was there for my yearly therapist "check up" with the VA and I was deemed "so interesting" that I was essentially tag teamed. One was a "meds" specialist, the other "lifestyle."

I didn't set out to become, well- publicity.  In my local clinic-I still do my best to butch it up.  It is tough anymore because of my mane of long hair and HRT softened skin. Once I get to the staff, I'm not fooling anyone anyhow, I'm fairly sure all of the clinic's small staff (maybe 3 docs and 12 nurses etc) know of "me" and really have gone out of their way to respect my transition. I have heard "rumors" of other transgender patients in the Dayton, Ohio hospital center but of course I have never met one.

The patients in the waiting room are a different matter. The process at times gets to be rather humorous. I get looks from everyone, especially the generics. I think "get over my hair! Bitches!!!"

Fast forward the process to my therapist appointments.  Both went so far as to not use a first name with me at all when then called me in. Med therapist was predictably dry, but lifestyle therapist was interesting.  At one point she was even apologizing for Ohio's supposed resistance to LGBT culture in any form. (Outside of Columbus.)  I jumped into educational mode and told her about the advances in our part of the state in cities such as Cincinnati and nearby Dayton. Thankfully, all my visits went well and I left hoping I was able to leave as much positive "Pub" as I could for the cause.

I'm not naive enough to think we now we are not doing anymore than scratching the surface of transgender acceptance.  I equate the process to a version of urban guerrilla warfare, a door to door - person to person battle. We are just going to have to make sure we tip the good publicity scale to the max and win the battles and the war..