It's a Brave New World

As comments with me sometimes do, on occasion they "gang up on me."

Last week the process happened last week with Liz (my partner) and Missy ( deceased wife's sister.)  Liz was sort of expected but I was blind sighted by Missy's.

First of all she is very toasted from years of substance abuse (she is approx 55.)  We were talking the other day since I was given the job of "life coach" with her from Momma Karma and she came up with this question: "How did I function (seemingly) as well as I did with all the 'wanting to be a girl' stuff swirling in my head."  When she comes up with a classic question which is relevant to me and my transgender transition-I'm stunned.  This was one of those questions.

My answer was one we have chatted about here in Cyrsti's Condo, what would have any of us have done if we would have had the freedom to fully explore our gender dysphoria before we went on to have wife's, kids and the rest.  I think I did well enough but I told her (as well as anyone who will listen) I would not wish the ripping and tearing of my heart and soul on my worst enemy.  I have no idea of course what I could have been able to achieve and  in reality now, none of it matters.

Very simply now though, my advice to anyone with gender dysphoria is to explore it as young as you can.  There is only one certainty, it is not going away.

Then there was Liz.  She commented the other night how amazed she was of how "sensitive" I was to the world around me.  I just don't think she understands (I have told her) how much she matters in the process. Her support, along with a couple others, has allowed me to see the world as I always should have.  I have always enjoyed my share of different art forms, music and nature.  Along the way, I was curious about and studied (lightly) many different religions.  These days I have been freed of the gender constraints of my past. In fact my transgender status frees me of both the binary genders...but...

In the true essence of the giving, loving and understanding genetic woman we all aspire to, Karma has blessed me with three of them.  Ironically, they don't have much of a grasp of what they have done and I haven't been able to get my point across yet-except they feel the changes in me.

What path would I have taken if I had an open door?  Big question! We will try to bring out our Cyrsti's Condo "cyrstal ball"  in a future post!

Is It A "Man's World?"

Unfortunately, as you may have read here in Cyrsti's Condo, I witnessed a drunk neighbor man push and then hit in the face his girlfriend across the street from me.  Yes I did call the cops but wasn't the first and I did volunteer if they needed a witness. (they didn't)

Billie took the time to comment. From Billie :  I'm also infuriated by his striking a woman, but this is so true! It IS obviously a man's world after all and we "girls" are just a small part in it! Such is the life we lead!

While I agree with Bobbie, in these new lives we are leading as transgender women, the shift of "power" is one of the biggest gender transitions. Similar to so much of the lifestyle of women versus men, the concept of power to women is so much more complex to navigate and adjust to.  Due to physical limitations alone, women have to fight more mental battles than men. So in a one on one physical fight, for the most part it is a man's world.  In my many years of gender disagreements, I had to learn the hard way, since I couldn't hit a woman, I had to learn to get in her head and fight the way she did with me. To use an old quote, some of my "tiff's" were won, some were lost and most were rained out.

I also was raised in a post WWII family of strong macho men who did a outstanding job of being over achieving providers but it was an equally strong family of women who ran the show.  So as boys growing up we always knew we were inheriting the image of running the show. (wink-wink)

Then came the feminism movement in the 1960's and the sexual revolution and all of the sudden, the traditional strongholds of "male power" began to erode.  Slowly but surely, the process continues today and naturally many men are insecure.  Unfortunately, insecurity is a precursor to violence in a man.  


Over the past several years of living and trying to understand the dynamics of the mtf transition "thang", on occasion I have been dazzled on how much each gender doesn't understand about the other.  An example is the "men don't listen" idea.  After I went to the gender speech class at the Trans Ohio Symposium last May, the idea of men not listening may be a by product of how women speak and the words they use.


Finally Billie, I saw a comment today on a singles dating show (Bravo TV) from a woman saying they ought to do a study on the "pussification" of men.  The show I think went on to prove how that was true with one guy who essentially was afraid to even kiss his date for fear of a pending relationship.  So on that show, except for the token gay guys, it was a woman's world. The images of men being males and sex objects is as real as the past females were the sex objects.

For what it's worth,  I think younger guys today do have a more diverse world to adjust to.  All of the sudden, many of them do more than play golf and bring home a pay check.  They help raise the kids and so much more.  In my neck of the woods it's the males who can't understand the present and future of what it means to be a man are the drunk, stoned or stupid ones who use violence on women.

Cyrsti's Condo "Fun with the Wife!"

Hi Honey! Maybe I really should have thought about what I was saying when I told you I was applying for the NEXT job opening I found!

This is from Pintererest and Emma

Ballantyne.

 https://www.flickr.com/photos/starrynowhere/  

If you haven't seen any of Emma's quality cross dressing pictures, follow the link above. As you can see she is incredibly gorgeous.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Good morning "Condo-ites" or at least it is here in Southwestern Ohio U.S.A. All too often I forget to say "Hi!" to all of you reading around the world and on all the ships at sea.  I'm humbled-and thanks! Around here at least,   our too "sexy" for Ohio beautiful weather is till hanging around!  The coffee (Joe) is on and we have plenty to cover!

Page one.- Dressing in Layers.  Last week in a couple different posts we covered the lengths most of us had gone through to hide our feminine "collection" of items which we have worked so hard to find.  So far, one of the best I have read comes from our "Purging Revisited" post, from Mandy Sherman.  I have added the link for you to follow back and read her "hide and seek" story.  Speaking of Mandy, she like Paula has mentioned her blog in comments so I am now linked to both here in the Condo.  In addition to the natural "reciprocation" of linking though, I think it's useful to provide a look at the different layers of our community we reach out to here. From what I can read, Mandy may be at a different level of her transition than say Paula or I and an all together other place than Stana.  Then throw a Pat in from one angle and a Janie Black from another and that is why I find the layers of our community so fascinating!

Page 2.- Trans-Terfs.  Once again last week, I couldn't keep my over opinionated arse out of the time consuming, often crazy hate mongers tossing cheap shots over the web.  Always safely tucked away from behind their computers.  The best of the worst actually came from a person from the transgender side of the fence who basically laid out her case for a person not being "allowed" to be a transgender activist or speak about being trans until they have been living trans for five years.  I did get a chuckle when, with her best male ego,  she said she had this incredible amount of experience living on the gender frontier, so bow down to the all knowing her.  And, oh by the way, listen to her radio show...somewhere. I forever will be amazed at how much the trans terf's try to eat their own young.  The fortunate thing is, the person I am talking about is probably around my age-which means we are on our way out anyway!

Page 3.- We Had Fun!  Too much serious stuff just kills me around here. To combat it, I try to toss in a few of my "smart arse" ideas of what I think could be going through the person's mind in the photo.  In reality of course, all are un-named cross dressers from my Pinterest site.  So, also in reality, I don't know for sure any of them aren't genetic.  But as they say on gambling sites around here "for amusement purposes only!"

Speaking of Pinterest, it has become yet another "guilty pleasure" I didn't need.  What I do like like about it is though, it gives me a chance to express what fashions, style and other interests in my life are all about.  To put it in perspective I have about 2500 pins (pictures) on 52 boards. If you are interested, just Google it and search Cyrsti.

Page 4.- The Back Page.  Such a week!  I tried to get to all of you one way or another who sent in your fabulous comments!  I can't tell you how much they mean to me because believe it or not, writing a blog for an extended period of time takes on a life of it's own and not often an easy one!  I wish you all the best!!!

Paying Forward

Again, many of you Cyrsti's Condo regulars know I do a bit of selling "collectibles" on other sites such as Ebay, Etsy etc.  It's not much money wise, but it does really help make ends meet.

Most of the time, our business is rather mundane. We sell it and hope to pack it to withstand a nuclear explosion-until this weekend.

On Friday we sold a vintage garden/nursery catalog to a person whose father owned the business and she was looking for any of his catalogs. We did, we made a few "Sheckles" and she was happy.  Then today, we were able to help out a person in Virginia with another catalog and ended up paying forward in the nicest, unexpected way.  Here was his comment:

Cyrsti, I too believe in paying it forward and keeping good Karma. I swear, when I worry about MY needs, I never end up in the best place; when I worry about OTHERS' needs, things go a lot better for me!

Certainly simple words for us all to live by and all of the sudden the weekend was just a little brighter!

Cyrsti's Condo..."OOOOPPS!"

JIM!!! Why is your sister smiling and saying  your blind date is here and HE is waiting?  WTH?

From the Transgender News Network

Is there one? Sometimes I feel like we have one here in Cyrsti's Condo thanks to all of you who send things along.

The latest comes from Bobbie reporting that a "Fox News Regular" (of course)  was suspended from his own company!

The actual link is from the "Raw Story" site:

According to Adweek, Gavin McInnes has been asked to take an indefinite leave of absence from his position as Chief Creative Officer at Rooster NYC, an ad agency he co-founded in 2010.

The column, ‘Transphobia Is Perfectly Natural,’ proved to be so offensive to readers of Thought Catalog — known for outrageous and contrarian posts — that the website inserted a splash page that appears before the column warning, “The article you are trying to read has been reported by the community as hateful or abusive content.”

Among the least offensive assertions McInnes made in his essay, he wrote:  “We’re all transphobic. We aren’t blind. We see there are no old trannies. They die of drug overdoses and suicide way before they’re 40 and nobody notices because nobody knows them. They are mentally ill gays who need help, and that help doesn’t include being maimed by physicians. These aren’t women trapped in a man’s body. They are nuts trapped in a crazy person’s body.”

Responding to threats  on Tumblr and Twitter to boycott companies — including Vans and Red Bull — who use Rooster as an ad agency, a representative from the company stated, “Gavin’s views are his own and do not represent those of the company or its members. We are extremely disappointed with his actions and have asked that he take a leave of absence while we determine the most appropriate course of action.”

Certainly, this means he will have a lifetime job at Fox?

Purging Revisited

I felt it was worthwhile enough to use Billie's comment and rerun the picture I used

The same thing has happened to me! Let it go, you're still you! And you're looking good! Thanks for the pic, Cyrsti.

Number one, I'm sorry I didn't make it clear the cross dresser in the picture is not me but the situation has happened to me-kind of. ( If anyone knows who she is, please pass the compliment! -And thanks for being so incredibly protective of me!")

While we are backtracking here in Cyrsti's Condo, let me explain what "purging" has always meant to me:

It's the act of throwing away all (or a portion of) your "stash" of feminine articles  When I saw this un named person, I thought immediately someone had found her "stash" hidden away with the lawn mower.

I'm sure like me, all of you have creative stories of where you attempted to hide your stash.  When I was a kid, I used an old box above the garage which was marked as books and even kept a water proof dress, mirror and makeup hidden back in the woods beside our house.

Later in life, I would keep a certain amount of items in a closet space my semi approving wife knew about and then had other stashes hidden here and there.  For the most part the scheme worked well, my problem was flat out getting caught cross dressed in the world-where by mutual agreement I shouldn't have been.

The most embarrassing instance of having my stash discovered and thrown back in my face came just before I had to go into the Army.

I was living in an apartment with two other guys in a medium sized college town in Ohio.  Truly, I got a little careless with how I was hiding my wig, clothes and shoes, and was "discovered."  The worst part about it was, I didn't know right away.  My two roommates were still in college and went home for Christmas break.  I had graduated and was waiting for my due date at Ft. Knox.  A few days after they had left, another guy who had kind of just "hung out" around there happened to stop by.

Looking back, he had to have known about the discovery because he casually turned the conversation around to cross dressing.  I figured what the hell, in a month I would be in the hills of Kentucky running and doing all sorts of other fun Army stuff.  So I told him what he obviously already knew, I was a transvestite or cross dresser and I would show him.

Secretly, I was fantasizing he would find me amazingly beautiful and ask me to go out with him.  What I really found was someone had stolen most everything I had.  So that was that.  When everyone got back from Christmas, of course they all viewed me a little different and even blamed their girlfriends for stealing my things.  I just them to go to hell, where I was going I couldn't wear them anyhow.

I made sure I let them know that even though their girlfriends enjoyed the supreme female privilege of not being drafted- I hope the rest of them would soon enjoy the military too!. 

Domestic Violence

I live in a violent country and it's getting more and more violent all the time.  In fact, I got to see it up close and personal this week as I viewed from my second floor window, my neighbor across the street get drunk, push and then hit in the face the woman who lives there.  There were other women involved who I assume were related and called the police before I did.

Often I wonder where does all of this leave me out here in the middle as a transgender woman.  Not so good I'm afraid.  First of all, we trans woman are targets of random violence of the worst kind as are genetic women.  I know all of that though and try my best to take the safeguards any woman would take - and then add some more.

My real worry is though is the mental gender transition I'm making.  I am not all the way to the point where my mind is saying "wait a minute dummy-you aren't a 275 man anymore who can 'bluff' down the other guy."  Plus, I'm very sarcastic, which doesn't help either. But, I come by it naturally.  My 5'2" Mom was not at all shy about saying what she felt and neither is my daughter.

As far as the guy across the street goes, the cops took him away and I haven't seen him since. If I was a betting woman, I figure he is "drying out" in jail for a week and I will see him back next week. Sometimes he is great free entertainment when he gets drunk and throws all his furniture in the street.  But I'm afraid hitting a woman won't be enough to keep this guy down and out.