Walking Tall -Two

Thanks to all of you for the comments concerning the "personal security" post I wrote a couple days ago which happened to involve -more precisely a transgender woman's murder (suspect arrested) and my partner Liz and I's night at the Northern Kentucky Pride event pub crawl.

As far as Cincinnati goes, the downtown area along the Ohio River is positively booming and will soon be home to a huge GE (General Electric) headquarters but as with any other place, there are places you don't want to be as a guy and especially as a woman and even more so as a transgender woman.

I'm fortunate for all the wrong reasons when my personal security is involved.  To quote a term from the trans woman (left) in the movie "Better than Chocolate", she is not just a big woman-she is enormous. 

This body I received through no choice of my own has kept me healthy over 65 years, big enough to not be bullied, etc...but...of course it does not MtF easily. Like so many others, I wasn't lucky enough to be born into a time and a family where I could have considered a choice of not having my body do what it was born to do...masculinize.


So now, this curious gender critter I have become has a chance of keeping unwanted advances away. The usual good news/bad news story.

None of it mattered though if and when I found myself  in potentially violent situations.  You all know the drill.  Know your surroundings and if you can carry some sort of deterrent such as pepper spray.  I have read comments here and there cross dressers and or transgender women saying they are "packing heat" (a gun) and are ready to fire away.  To be certain, if I did that, I would be in danger of shooting myself first and yes I did go through Army infantry training.

The most important lesson I pass along every now and then here in Cyrsti's Condo is how fast you can find yourself in a bad situation.  Years ago, I was cornered by a much bigger guy than I and would have been put in a possible very bad situation if I wasn't "recused". 

Before that experience, I had a very smug idea about women being sexually assaulted.  I always wondered why some of them didn't see it coming.  Two out of three of the potentially bad spots I found myself in, I didn't see it coming,  and one in fact, was in a friend's decidedly upscale home.

In the past, I have had as many comments around here concerning personal security as I have had about rest room issues.  All you have to do is look at the stats to see how big of a problem violence is to the TG/CD community and the problem is even worse if you are a transperson of color.

All of us just have to be extra careful out there!

Conspiracy Theory

I'm the first to admit I have been a little distant around here in Cyrsti's Condo and most of it does start with my friend who still is in an induced coma.  Even though she is decidedly older than me, she is yet another person I always assumed I would not outlive.

But there are other "follow the bouncing transgender" issues which of course come and go with regularity, along with various stages of intensity, which I won't bore you with now.

Fortunately, My active noggin does have a self defense mechanism which manufactures fun games for me to play with during these times. On this occasion it tossed at me,  two old conspiracy theories concerning famous women.

The first has to do with my trans-dar and Ann Coulter shown on the left.  Regardless of what she has always said and done to make a living, I simply have always looked hard for that operated on Adam's Apple. Her latest deal was slamming the soccer wave which is sweeping the country.  Who ever was reporting the story said she wondered if Ann played soccer when she was a little girl...my mind thought (before I knew it) was Ann ever a psychical little girl?  Please don't send me comments...it was just a rhetorical thought.

The second is a little more vague.  Perhaps many of you remember actress Mae West  She went back to the vaudeville days and was one of the more controversial movie stars of her day and encountered many problems, including censorship.  To many though, she was one of the great feminine caricatures of all time and so good-only a man could do it.  I thought no, certainly at death someone would have advanced the theory further! But then I thought, could Mae simply be our American version of the UK's Queen Elizabeth being a man theory?  Hey Paula, Vicki and all you other Brit ladies who stop by Cyrsti's Condo, we are just trying to keep up here in the colonies!

Well, that's it. Like I said, just a little fun to break things up when I get a little too serious about life!

Happy Fourth of July from Cyrsti's Condo

Justin Vivian Bond

Unbelievable! Here we are at the 4th of July already.

To paraphrase John Lennon, the country is another year older and what have we done?

Actually from his Happy Christmas: "So this is Christmas And what have you done Another year over And a new one just begun" I'm sure you get the point.

 I have decided to not pull  my soapbox out and go political on this occasion. Except to say even though our system does have it flaws, we still are maybe the world's best chance to lead by example.

On this 4th of July, let's raise a toast  and look at the strides our country could be on the verge of making if we keep up the fight!  When we do, our trans cup will indeed be half full. - A tasty enjoyable adult beverage for you on our nation's birthday. 

Finally,  be careful not to burn a hole in your new summer blouse with a stray firecracker!!!

Here's hoping you have a safe and enjoyable fourth!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature cover is MtF transgender beauty Kalindra Chan:

Walking the "Mean" Streets in the "Nati"?

'The Nati' is simply a slang term for Cincinnati, Ohio.  You regulars around Cyrsti's Condo know I sort of live there part time with my partner who has lived in "the Nati" her entire life.

In a previous post, I wrote a little about the Covington/Newport TGBLQ Pride night last Saturday.  Both towns are connected and are located across the Ohio River from Cincinnati.  During the evening, as both of us walked a bit to get to our selected venues, the fact wasn't lost on me that a transgender woman was murdered in Cincinnati mere days before.  I'm not taking 'the Nati' to task anymore than any larger urban areas in that any woman does not want to end up in the wrong place at the wrong time. ESPECIALLY a trans woman.

We did decide to shorten our walks and look for closer parking and as we did, I couldn't help dwell on what the public sees in my partner and I and does it matter?

What I mean is, we don't shy away from holding hands and other small displays of public affection, so are they looking at us as two lesbians-or her as who she is and me as who I am as transgender? By the "does it matter" comment I mean-we all know women are targets for violence and to make it worse, we trans women are bigger targets. So I know we are at a higher risk of violence anyhow.

Every once in a while here in the "Condo" we do a very serious post concerning individual security as you come out of the closet as a cross dresser or a trans woman. I am in no way a believer in the myth of male privilege except in a couple key areas and one is personal security.

Before you hit the imagined mean streets like I did, remember-it's never a problem to be too vigilant and careful!

Cyrsti's Condo "Gossip Corner"

I'm the first to admit, when a transgender or transsexual woman has been rumored to be "seeing" a sexy starlet's man, I do more than just pay passing attention to the Hollywood "babble"machine.


Not long ago J-Lo (Jennifer Lopez) was in the news because of her boyfriend's (Casper Smart) alleged hookup with Xristina Marie, shown on the left.

Now, there is former Playboy Model Kendra Wilkinson's hubby being hooked up with transsexual model Ava Sabrina London.  (Shown below.)

Like anybody else, I get bored with watching an endless stream of reality shows featuring tough redneck truckers or impossibly old "mountain men" - so a few "impossibly" sexy transgender women and their "supposed" exploits in the dating world does add some spice to my television.

I mean, don't we really think sooner more than later most all of these beautiful Hollywood marriages will break up?

My only point has always been when I see the genetic women on the daytime talk shows not so coyly pick on just the men involved, I just want to hear head bitch Jennie Garth say, hmmmn, has J-Low lost it in the sack?

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

"When you feel that rope getting a little tighter around your neck...make sure it matches the rest of your outfit!"

A "blast" from my past!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature cover today is an interesting pose from the androgynous male model Alexander Chernov. 

The Price of Trans Jade

I received this comment back from Grant, an  Equality Ohio organizer:

(Cyrsti) My first visit here to your condo, and all I've got to say is: yes yes yes. It's easy to get jaded since we've been working for YEARS on a nondiscrimination bill. Marriage isn't the end-all-be-all, especially for trans rights. I like the letter you sent Boehner.

I feel like we have the strongest shot our community has ever had this year. We're organized - and organizing - so smartly lately.

Thanks for linking to EO too :)

Thanks to you Grant and EO!

AND! Thanks for mentioning Trans Rights!

I think we transgender women and men face several obstacles when we summon up the courage to face the light of day in society at all and then attempt to have our voices heard against injustice.  At meetings such as the Equality Ohio affair, at the least I feel the need to offer some explanation of how I live.  It's become a good life for me but I don't labor under any ridiculous idea it's good for all the world.  It never fails though at least one or two peeps at these meetings linger to talk to me, which is cool because education is never bad.  I was flattered the one person who talked to me the longest was the pastor of the church whose congregation was struggling with it's views of same sex marriage laws here in Ohio. My goal was to fill the pastor in on the tremendous percentage of transgender women and men who try to take their own lives and yes-I was one of them.  To me, the process is the one biggest litmus test  which determines if a person should be a spiritual leader at all.  This pastor was truly struck by my story and it essentially was the thought I sent on to Boehner (mentioned by Grant) - a simple "what if" your son or daughter was TGLBQ.

The whole idea is so complex though, even it has it's own moral and political bases.  Morally, would the politician support his or hers offspring. Politically, would they continue to deny basic freedoms to the child, mandated by their electorate and finally what level of hypocrisy would they attach to it?

Can't of course speak to any of that, it's just an observation I have but together from my humble place in the world.  I do agree with Grant though, "our community" is organizing better than ever and I do hope our time is now on several platforms including weeding out several long term ineffective career politicians in Ohio.  Their records of lack of response, go way further back than TGBLQ reform. Including current huge social problems such the heroine epidemic, violence against ALL women and more. Old ideas and praying simply are NOT solving the problem.

On the other hand, I see the reaction on several fronts from young fresh minds and I get excited! What isn't lacking for me is a sense of excitement of how the world could become!