Defending Our Liberty

This compelling new media series is designed to share the reality of transgender service members' lives.

It's coming to our screens this Spring 2014. Check it out on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

Trans Bi

Before you think I'm referring to Bi Sexual, I'm not. I'm referring to Bi Polar. 

Thank goodness, the bi-polar medical condition has come out of the closet too over recent years. It's a real deal that can be treated in most cases (like mine).  Don't quote me but I think there are many levels of being "Bi". I compare it to what we experience in the transgender community.  Some of us desire to explore the other gender by cross dressing, others desire major transsexual SRS.

If your memory is better than mine, you will remember I mentioned here in Cyrsti's Condo I was diagnosed in the 1980's as being Bi Polar.  The reason I'm bringing that up is, as I read some personal stories from different groups I'm in, I often wonder if an individual here or there may be "Bi" too.

Here's how my diagnosis happened. As a result of several episodes of cheating on my wife with myself  (See the "I'm no Angel" post) I agreed to gender counseling as an attempt to save our marriage.  Very early in the process, I told my therapist about my episodes of extreme "up's". For days on end, the skies were bluer, the music better and I could conquer the world. Conversely, the days that followed, I could barely pull myself out of bed and face the world. I felt as if I was running in sand and couldn't accomplish anything.

Without hesitation she said she doubted my "condition" was caused by gender dysphoria. More than likely I was Bi Polar. Back in those days, I thought my next stop would be heavy sedation or the "rubber room". But over the next year or so she prescribed several different medications to try and indeed found one that has worked wonders for me ever since. In fact, the medication helped stop most of the severe anger management issues I had at work which were coming close to getting me fired.

Having said all of that and again I'm speaking only for myself, when I began the process of being accepted to start HRT, my current "Bi meds" regime raised huge flags for my therapist and medical doctors.  Of course the HRT meds themselves can cause depression after the initial rush of changes to one's body. I had to sign an oath in blood I would notify them if I felt the "elevator" going down (depression) significantly and staying there.

I don't play with it and do monitor my "elevator" constantly.

My purpose of this post is information.  For the longest time I blamed any and all of my noggin issues on my gender issues and some of the blame was wrong.  Another one of my "favorites" was I was just crazy. Along the way I began to understand too a better term for me could be "eccentric".  Again I was blaming my inner boy/girl turmoil on being "crazy".  Indeed, I do encounter my share of true "crazies" on the web, I find many others who use the term more as a crutch. Being transgender does not make you crazy.

It's time to put my "shingle" back away and again my only purpose of this post was information.  If any of this happens to fit you though, maybe you should bring up your symptoms during your next visit to the therapist.

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

"For every man who thinks he is the lead dog, there is a woman in his life who is wagging him."

Cyrsti Hart

Cyrsti's Condo Cover Girl of the Day

Sexy transsexual Chamila Asanka... Miss Sri Lanka from the Miss International Queen Pageant 2011

Living in the Past

As much as I try to never dwell on what could have been if I had transitioned earlier in life, every once in a while the thoughts can't help but sneak in when I'm not watching.

For some reason this specific video triggered them. Check it out on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Paper"

Hard to believe another week has gone by so fast here in the Condo, as you have probably noticed,  every Sunday I'm trying to set aside a bit of time and catch us up on the week.

To begin with on our weather page, last night's wind chill temperature was a balmy four degrees Fahrenheit. Turns out my "fuzzy boots" were a good purchase!

In sports, both of my "OSU's" won yesterday. The Ohio State University and Oklahoma State University. Oklahoma State because they beat Baylor and pushed the Buckeyes upward in the national rankings.  Next week it's up to Ann Arbor, Michigan and the annual battle with the "Wolverini's"

Nationally, this week marked the 50th anniversary of the death of President John F. Kennedy.  Our tribute here resulted in several really thoughtful comments on his legacy.

Internationally last week marked TDoR, which stands for Transgender Day of Remembrance. In the "Condo" I tied the remembrance in with a reminder about our own security as transgender women and men. And Marcia Hamilton added this comment:

"You are so correct. I have only recently begun going out as myself. It was amazing the transformation I went under with regard to single men, groups of men, and being out after dark. I, like you, am now very safety conscious and do not allow myself to be in precarious situations."

Marcia I believe comments such as yours help to reinforce the ideas of personal security I was attempting to get across.  Too many people I believe take my statements with a grain of salt because I have been out in the world for a respectable space in time.  Those of you who are just getting your transition started in earnest mean more to many! I'm like your Momma jabbering away.

Also I would like to take this occasion to send my sympathies to Draco who visits here. He who lost a transgender friend to suicide this past week. So sad and even more tragic.

In the Entertainment Section, this week, I took the time to drive a bit and catch the 5th grade play my oldest grandson was in. Of course I'm biased and thought he was remarkable but even more remarkable to me is the teacher who put the play together. He makes no secret of the fact he is a very out and public gay man. Even to the point of being a performer in a local drag queen group who have raised over a million dollars for Aids. Times are a changing! Back in the day when I was in school before electric lights, we had teachers we assumed were gay but didn't dare say it.

Finally in the comments section, I would like to thank Linda Marie Daniels for her comment on the "I'm No Angel" post:  "Thanks for sharing this story. I know it must have been difficult to write."  Indeed it was Linda but it was something I felt I need to share for the benefit of all.I appreciate your feedback.

Well, I have to say this post is not going to give the Sunday "New York Times" a run for their money any time soon. At the least though, it's a chance for all of us to share the week and for me to thank all of you for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo!

Cyrsti's Condo Cover Girl of the Day

The beautiful Transsexual Kristen Taylor - Ms. Australia 2013 stops by the Condo!

TDoR and Personal Security

On occasion other issues in the news take away from the transgender community's greatest problem- death by our own hands and by others. Let's take a moment and remember this week commemorated The Transgender Day of Remembrance.

(TDOR) has become a global event held around this week each November to memorialize those who have been killed through anti-transgender violence. Since its emotional inception by Gwendolyn Ann Smith following the still unsolved murder of Rita Hester in November 1998, communities, allies and people of faith gather, often by candlelight, in solemn remembrance to read the names of those lost over the past twelve months.

What saddens and even terrifies me are the number of people in the world who think somehow transgender women and men are subhuman and disposable.

Every so often, I write a Cyrsti's Condo post containing personal security warnings for all of us.

As we transition from MtF, we do lose male privilege especially in the areas of personal security.  I have heard from a couple of Condo readers they never had male privilege to start with.  For as long as they can remember they have been bullied and abused as a man. For many more of us though, that is simply not true. I know in my case, I feel much more comfortable alone in most all public situations as a man than as a woman. More specifically, going to my car alone in a dark parking lot. In fact I don't even consider it as a woman.

Early in my transition, I held the view that somehow victims of violence or rape (Transgender or Genetic) were just in the wrong place at the wrong time-until I found myself in similar situations before I learned how dangerous this game could be.

I was lucky and removed myself from the problems before anything happened.  What I did learn was how quickly dangerous situations can threaten you as a woman.  I quickly became proactive and became extra careful where I parked and suddenly I began to notice single guys around me. Slowly and surely I developed an extra sense of where I was in relation to the world.

I know many trans women who aren't shy about taking security to a higher level by going through concealed carry weapons courses and the like. In my case I would be afraid I would shoot myself first but I understand why others would carry a weapon.

For all of us though,  TDoR needs to be a time of remembrance and a time to band together as a group for our own protection.

Finally, all you new transtioners please never take your security as a women for granted.  Chances are there could be someone watching you who isn't taking it for granted either.

Cross Dressing French Style

French women's style is legendary, even when it is a cross dresser doing it.  Check Jonathan Lambert on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen.  Passed along to me from Lynne! I have fun watching the other women watch Jonathan.  Some are amused, some like the red headed woman on the panel spent a lot of time looking at her like "you bitch" at the beginning of the video before her attention changed to watching something on the ceiling.