What Does Transgender Mean to You?

Many times we miss the forest for the trees as we go on a trip of gender self discovery. Plus, if you are "more mature" like I am, it was literally years before a term such as transgender became well known at all.

Today though, the term transgender has become a "catch all term" for gender fluid women and men all the way to transsexuals. In a rare moment of clarity, I stopped my world and thought, was does transgender mean to me and am I correct in applying it to myself.

Very simply, my own personal definition is transgender means exactly what it implies, "neither male or female but somewhere in between." I'm in transit between the genders something like this - when I'm not forced to crawl around and fix plumbing in my house, I yearn for a pair of fuzzy slippers to keep my feet warm. Similar to any other genetic male or female, I'm doing what I have to do to keep this place and my body together.

I fielded a question today from a person from another site who sought me out for advice, of which I'm always flattered. Very quickly as a point of reference, the conversation turned into a discussion of percentage. How much did I live as a woman versus how much she did and how did HRT effect the whole process. We actually were exact opposites. My "time as girl" was very high and hers was very low.

I consider "chats" such as these are a good way to reassess who I am. At the same time I have a chance to give a person who is thinking about seeing a therapist as the first step towards HRT, a little insight into the process. I continue to feel the true tragedy within the transgender community are people who never really learn their true spot in the gender world, until it's too late. Indeed, the landscape is dotted with those who went under the SRS knife only to learn the ultimate cut just wasn't the right one for them or the older folks who will forever wonder if they should have tried.

So, I know the transgender term is a comfy place for me to hang out because no matter how the outside world is viewing me, I know what my head is thinking.

Recently too, I have several visitors here in the Condo and other places ask how I knew I was trans and not a cross dresser or transsexual.  The answer was quite simple as I look back on it. I never felt whole just putting on women's clothes but once I did begin to feel whole, I knew SRS wouldn't make my situation any better. As I said, my head tells me I'm a trans woman, not what the configuration is between my legs.

I'm fond of saying I don't have any therapy shingles to hang up anywhere and the best advice I never got was the most important one: You really have no idea of how the other gender lives until you have the chance to peek in and live it and the process better go deeper than just prancing around in a mall. (Did that too!) Just a guess but before you label yourself, it would be a tremendous idea to learn what the label is all about.

Oh by the way, no charge for this session!

"Dragging" Down Bigotry at Westboro

From the Huffington Post Gay Voices Site:

"The Westboro Baptist Church, everyone's favorite anti-gay zealots, were in for a big surprise over the weekend when their lawn became the epicenter of a drag event titled "Drag Down Bigotry." As reported last month, Equality House planned to host the event and utilize it as a fundraiser for anti-bullying programs. The show occurred on Saturday and drew out an estimated 150 participants."

Go to the link above for more on the story or watch the video here on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

Leo Aquila

More than a pretty face?

Jadson Mendes de Lima  , better known as Léo Aquilla , is described as a Brazilian drag queen.

However,  The artist became known for his performances in concerts nightclubs gay and for his appearances on television programs. Plus,In the elections of 2006 he ran for the position of deputy state of São Paulo by the PSC , but failed to get elected, obtaining, however, a significant number of votes: 21,778. In the 2010 elections he obtained 14,382 votes for state representative.

Cyrsti's Condo "Horror Scope"

Another week, another "scope" here in the Condo!

Libra (September 23-October 22): Having irrational fears is part of being human, but to let them get the best of you to the point where you avoid circumstances that can help you, is a self-sabotaging cop-out and everyone will know it. So, save face and jump into making a larger emotional investment in you future. Sure, safety will be a slippery slope, but the strength is in you — just don’t get lazy.

Well, at the least I got the benefit of the doubt on being human with my irrational fears and I dislike cop outs and being a victim in my own life. I guess this won't be the week I get lazy!

Don't you be lazy either and go here to theFrisky for your "scope"!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

"The biggest risk of all is not taking one at all". Normally always heard from a person who took the risk and succeeded.
 I have never had a problem living this quote in my life, which leads me to the second quote:
"Some you win, some you lose and some get rained out."  The big difference these days is I carry a different style of rain gear!

Felipa Tavares

The 6-foot-tall Felipa Tavares is among Brazil’s small but growing ranks of transgender models — leggy, high-cheekboned sirens who were born men and are causing a splash here as well as in Paris and other international fashion capitals.

"Passing" Comments

After watching the last video on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen on "passing" , I'm sure I share an initial thought with many of you, "sure it's easy to say all that if you are a natural and essentially don't have to worry about "passing".

With the naivety of youth and the blessing of appearance, she had a tough time "talking" around the points of no we shouldn't have to resort to thousands of dollars worth of pain and countless hours of suffering to have a chance to live as the gender we choose. But the fact remains we have to.

She was also right that if you can get your gender presentation to a point which could be described as "entry level" then your attitude should take over and life should become noticeably easier. Or to put the idea in the format we are writing about, if you are driving a five speed transmission car, when you shift down into fourth gear to pass, fifth gear is when all the fun starts.

Her discussion was a good one though and we all have the problem of "over thinking" this transgender life we are in.  She was simply seeing the bright side without having to experience part of the dark.  Good for her, at least she is thinking the right way.  She just happens to be driving a new Porsche and I have an old Kia. Our gears are different!

Attitude and the Passing Lane

This is one of videos Julian sent me to show on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen. This young transgender woman has excellent ideas! :Thanks Julian for sharing!

Sunny Sunday Morning

Around the beaches and the mountains here in the Cyrsti's Condo metropolitan area, it's time to hit the keyboard and converse with all of you. As always I'm trying to catch up with comments and the world as I try to shake off the cobwebs of enjoying my Buckeyes beat down the Nittany Lions last night.

First of all, I would love to pass along a positive post about the UK for Paula and you other British girls for a change who stop by the Condo.  This story is even from a more reputable source (I hope) the BBC.

"The annual Pink List named Paris Lees as the most influential lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender figure in the UK. But her rise from being a "silly teenage boy in a prison cell" has been far from simple.

With the organisation All About Trans she is determinedly changing media representation of transgender people like herself. And as the first transgender presenter for Radio 1 and Channel 4, she is making a mainstream audience aware of trans issues."

Follow this link to read more of Paris's story which like so many of us was not simple!

While you are there, one of the side stories on the site is a subject we discussed, how we transgender women and transgender men choose our name.

So there you go, Paula and Vicki and the rest of you over the pond.  Believe me we have our fair share of ignorance going on over here. For once it seems the desire to publicize it all is not as strong.

On my email, which you are more than welcome to send a message on, Julian sent along a YouTube video for all of us to take a look at. Which I will, to tease you a bit, the person begins by commenting how hard it was for him to appear male.  We all need some of that problem, right? Thanks Julian for also mentioning the time aspect of maintaining a blog such as this. As I told him,the more a blog takes on a life of it's own, the more it takes of your life.  I'm sure Stana, over at Femulate would agree!

Finally, for this post, a quick comment on Aerosmith's music. Pat picked up on my comment about one of their old songs. I think it was "Walk this Way".  Indeed, I spent many hours abusing Robin Hood Big 16 Ale's and rocking with Aerosmith.  But, the number of times people who used "Dude Looks Like a Lady" to abuse and mock me over the years,  have soured me to the group. I don't think though, I have ruined their career!

Aww right kids, the dog doesn't care about my hangover and is pushing me for her walk and since the temp is getting back into the 50's, she is right!

As always, I appreciate your input!