Transgender Heroines and Monika

To discover a wonderful selection of international interviews with various transgender iconic women and more, check out one of our international "blog link sisters"  in Cyrsti's Condo Monika Kowalska! Or go here.

True!

Phillip Porter and the Privilege Game

I just saw this story this morning (Sat) and assuming it's all true, Phillip Porter may have played one of the most classic privilege shell games ever.

The headlines just scream attention: "Phillip Porter former Transgender Woman and NFL Cheerleader". Phillip just happened to also mention he was a topless dancer too. So if you consider living a glamorous public life as a beautiful woman as "privilege" he had it all.

Why the change? Phil's self proclaimed "mid life crisis". As all genetic women know, at a certain point NFL Cheerleader looks will fall behind and menopause moves into the lead - and as you guessed, Phil decided he probably didn't want any of the hot flashes and fun effects of being a mid life woman.

No gold stars are given out here kids. I'm guessing Phil jumped from a very bleak male privilege situation while the getting was good (and doable evidently) into the female situation and when the going looked to be rough jumped back.

Why? Because he could I guess and I'm fairly sure there are a number of us who would take the easy way out and do the same thing. Let me pull out my SheZow ring and say the magic phrase and I'm a girl until the fun stops and then i'm a guy.
I think the cheer leading photos of Phil's will be interesting when they appear. If they do because of NFL copyrights.  So far I have only been able to find this video and article on the Huffington Post Gay Voices. for you to see.

Who knows, the story could be as interesting as Phil dancing topless?

Transgender Military Feature

"After DADT": (Don't ask, Don't tell)  The New Civil Rights Movement all this week  is featuring exclusive articles from current and former transgender U.S. service members. Here's one of the stories with a happy ending from a Naval transgender service member who did come out on the job:

"The (my) XO didn’t care. My department head told me the XO’s response was, “I have enough to worry about with all the people who can’t or won’t do their jobs. Why the hell should I get rid of someone who’s doing their job really well?” I felt an immense sense of relief. I am safe for now, as long as I have these leaders and keep my performance up. Everyone seemed to agree–why kick me out if being transgender isn’t affecting my performance? Maybe this is why I was meant to reenlist; to show people that transgender people can be in the military and do their jobs just like anyone else. I just hope someday that this policy will be lifted, and we can serve openly."

Go here to read more!

The New "T" Scott

B. Scott now  accepts the descriptor "transgender." Read on:

"Wikipedia defines Transgender as the state of one’s gender identity (self-identification as woman, man, neither or both) not matching one’s assigned sex (identification by others as male, female or intersex based on physical/genetic sex).

 It is by that definition that I accept and welcome the ‘transgender’ label with open arms" 

You have probably heard by now B. Scott  is filing a multi million dollar lawsuit against BET and Viacom following the decision to force her to change to male clothes for the 2013 BET Awards Pre-Show. As she should!

In a further statement from her site B. Scott wrote: my spirit truly lies somewhere in between. It is that same spirit that has allowed me to become so comfortable in my skin, choose how I express myself, and contributes to how I live my day-to-day life.

From my own selfish viewpoint, I'm glad she clarified where she stands. After I saw B. Scott on the Chef Roble show, transgender was not one of the labels I would have used.

Follow the Bouncing Gender Balls

No silly's not those balls! By now you have probably seen the story of the ABC News guy (Ennis) who decided he wanted to be a girl and then made up all kinds of crazy stories of why he was wrong and rejoined the male camp.
He is not alone, not long ago I viewed part of a YouTube video which included a segment on "Walt" who went through SRS, lived as a woman and decided he was wrong and rejoined the world as a guy.

I believe all of this is good.  Sure, we are always going to have the naysayers who point to Walt or Ennis as proof any gender change is wrong, immoral or whatever. On the other hand we transgender folks know this is not a decision to be taken lightly. These two guys were proof of it!

So much of a life can be enriched or destroyed by the gender transition process it's scary- or should be. You Cyrsti's Condo's regulars know one of my main "soapbox" preaching points is you damn well better get out in the world and socialize yourself as a woman to the best of your ability. Before you decide.  More than likely the feminine life is not entirely the "walk in the park"  you thought it would be. Ask any genetic or fully transitioned trans woman.

The moral to the story is , if you are similar to me in the past and think your cross dressing may be a symptom of something deeper, you need to do all the research you can on it, up to and including living it. At that point, no matter what anyone says, the door should be open for you to come back. Even for Ennis and Walt..."let em live."

Chasing my Hormonal Tail

About two weeks or so ago as I was rummaging through my not so organized Cyrsti's Condo medicine cabinet and noticed a real disparity in my on hand inventory of the magic blue pills called Estradiol (a generic estrogen) as well as a couple other of my VA co-pay provided meds. I called the 800 line to find out when the refills were due to be shipped and found I would have a real estro shortage.   Being the clueless person I am, I was taking what I thought I was prescribed rather than what really was.  In my defense I was working from two different scripts too.

I didn't want to, but I went on lesser dosages for the last month as I waiting for back ups to arrive.  In fact I hate it.  I'm not so pleasantly surprised how quickly my "T" wants to reclaim as much of my phsyical being as quickly as it can. Body hair and muscle definition began to return, my breasts lost quite a bit of their sensitivity and even my thought processes seemed to change. So I was not the happy camper as I waited for my med refills.  Well, they came yesterday and came in a big way.

For security reasons at my mailbox, I have them sent to my daughters and on the way home I had so many bottles of pills, I figured if I got pulled over by a cop I would have been arrested!

By now I know you are thinking Cyrsti what is the problem here?  Actually there is.  The supply I received is large because it is written to last a while and when I follow the correct dosage, everything is fine. Of course what my Endo Doc said he was going to prescribe isn't what he actually did and of course the Veterans Administration pharmacy works from him. So no, the dosage is too small and we are not fine!

Not to worry, I do have the whole process to revisit soon anyhow. I need to schedule blood work from the VA and hand carry to the endo doc's office to insure it gets there and then calmly ask why the hell is he saying one thing and writing another? Assuming he does write what we agreed on this time (I now know what to look for on the script)  then I  take it back to my new primary provider at the VA for approval who will then have me sign off again on a release form from the Endo Doc to fill the scripts. Then I have to set up an appointment in Sept with my new VA provider (who I have never met) to check my overall well being. (Sinking fast!)

It's fine, I really don't have anything else to do anyhow, right? Plus I know this HRT path I walk would not be feasible without the VA's help-no matter how convoluted the system is. Just maybe if a few steps were cut out of the process, life would be easier but then again a lot more boring?

We Got Mail!

High Dollar/High Tech!

Our Cyrsti's Condo high tech mail box received a couple of well thought out and presented replies recently from Alexis Michelle. The first is a comment concerning the personal and financial cost of a transgender existence:

"Expensive is so true. My whole journey has cost me a great deal of time, torment and troubles, not to mention the financial aspects. And I totally feel that the non-calculable mental costs far outweigh any financial burdens associated with my life of transition. I went through my own personal 'hell' for many, many years as I tried to keep my thoughts and feeling buried within and still project the image of a "normal" person.

What I went through I would not wish on my worst enemy. Finally I came to a point where I felt I had two choices--first of all, start opening up to others about my turmoil. Secondly, I was so close to just ending it all more than once. Luckily I began to open up and found out those I entrusted with who I really was didn't hate me for it. And with the help of those friends, and a few other, I crossed over to the other side of the street. The monetary costs took all of my savings and the obvious and hidden costs do go on forever. Yet I don't regret my own Ownership at what Cost?"

Alexis makes a couple of very key and relevant points. Either you open up to others or risk the chance of losing your most valuable resource- yourself. In my own case when I began to come out to the friends I had left, two of them did hit the door. That was fine. I did not feel for a second they were obligated to accept me but I certainly needed to accept me!  Similar to Alexis, my new transgender reality  opened up a whole new world of friends.
Her second comment was on my Presently Unavailable post:

" Like you, my mind has always flipped from place to place, time to time and subject to subject. I think many people, whatever their orientations have a tendency to do this. Is it escapism? Perhaps. But I have survived because of my ability to get away from true reality at times. Those like you, who struggle with something so major in life as "who and what am I" are entitled to do this. Imagination and fantasy can be a marvelous thing....as long as yo can come back to the necessary task at hand when the need arises. Keep moving forward, lady!!! on Presently Unavailable."

Indeed! From the days of day dreaming of being a cheerleader when I was on the football team to the countless times I just wondered what life would be like to live for five minutes in the shoes of a woman I was watching, I was in that marvelous place until reality came back with a thud!

Thanks and please remember I'm always humbled and flattered that you all care enough to comment such as Aleis Michelle and Pat and so many others! Don't forget you can email too! Follow the links here in the blog.

The Scenic View

The "before's,  after's and in between of the video we just watched here in Cyrsti's Condo: