Anger and the Trans Girl

No big secret as you turn the gender "corner" anger issues or "anger management" if you will change dramatically.   In fact during my transition, it's a major issue for me.

Right or wrong, I played fairly effectively in the "macho sandbox" and I'm the first to say it cost me dearly-but another subject.

Looking back on the experience, I have labeled the male power structure as power one as opposed to the uber effective feminine passive aggressive. Reasonably early in life a male begins to sort out his place in the power grid. He could be a one, two or three. For simplicity, three's stay put.  Due to strength, intelligence, athletic ability or looks-they probably are stuck there and know it. Nothing wrong with that-not making value judgement.  Two's on the other hand can possess and combination of any of the power attributes I mentioned plus the ambition to challenge the front running number ones.  As with any species, it's a simple survival of the fittest basic.

I played in that number 2 sandbox and I have had a difficult time switching from a more direct confrontational view of stress situations with other humans to a passive aggressive.  Very simply put, no I can't (and never did) punch you in the face.  Instead let me smile ever so sweetly and figure out a way to intellectually punish you.

Both power grids define the genders and to a large degree define why on so many levels males and females have a difficult time understanding the other. Each bring the "tools" they have to work with to the table.  When my two young grandson's are off in the corner going crazy on each other, my 12 year old grand daughter watches and listen's to my daughter say: "they are just being boys, stay out of it". That's all good until a group of her friends come over and the battle lines are drawn again-for so many different reasons.

As humans I guess we have been blessed and cursed to witness this gender dynamic. But witnessing the power grids doesn't mean we can do anything about them. We all have to make our way through life the best we can. As transgender folk though we do have a unique chance to sit the middle fence and have a better understanding of how the gender grids work.

I have to say  my perch on the fence has been hard to maintain.

I guess  De Niro  said it best in Taxi Driver :  "You talkin' to me?"

Way Too Macho?

Thank you Alice for the comment on the short lived television show of a couple years ago : He's a Lady.
I do agree yes another show similar would be fun but also think America is way too macho to watch a bunch of sky diving, macho guys even thinking about going over to the other gender side. I'm fairly sure there had to be a resident cross dresser or two at TBS for that show to even get on the air.  Funny, ha ha acts of guys in drag are OK and I think transgender specials are becoming accepted for a totally different reason but He's a Lady wasn't close.

Taking this a step further. Perhaps some of you recognize the name of the show "There's Something About Miriam" from 2007. Since you are reading about it here in Cyrsti's Condo, you probably can guess what that "something" was all about:




 I did not like the premise of this show at all. Beautiful transsexual women tricking men just isn't good public relations.

Damsel in Distress

I have had more than a few struggles with the classic cars I drive breaking down. I have to tell you your car coming to a grinding unforgiving halt as you think you are the most beautiful trans woman ever -is no fun.

Of course the fun meter goes to an all time high when you throw wrecker drivers into the mix! Those rascals! Over the past 5 years I have had to deal with three of them.

The first one I have written about here in Cyrsti's Condo.  He was the first man to strip me of my IQ.  He wouldn't even listen to me telling him how to get to my house!  Silly woman-what did I know? By that time I figured if he thought I was a dumb blond- I would be one and started to ask how this so complicated machinery worked on his "big ol truck". I wasn't sure he ever knew I was trans.

As harmless as the first experience was, the second one wasn't.  The second driver did know I was trans and I think he would have gladly beat me up and left me for dead. He was so bad the company sent someone in another vehicle to follow him.

The third one was OK but made sure I knew he was about the only one who would come and pick up my car from his company.  I didn't care and he got my car home and was gunning for me to send a giant compliment back to the company on him.

I will say times have changed for me and I will not hesitate to report a transphobic driver or company now. Plus it is the dispatcher who basically sets you up for success on these calls.

 Today I thought chances were good for a fourth call as  I was making a fairly lengthy trip.On the way back my car overheated-even though I thought I checked the coolant well before I left.

Approximately fifteen minutes into a two hour trip I had to pull off at an exit, find a parking lot to sit in and let it cool down. Being the prepared person I'm usually not, I even had an extra gallon of coolant with me..provided I had no leaks.

As I waited, a very interesting thought popped into my noggin...did I want a good Samaritan to drive by and stop to offer help.  Every ounce of my spirit was telling me, I was quite capable of doing this job by myself. If I had no leaks I just wanted to get home on a hot humid day...BUT...

Then again, if no one did stop did that mean the way I looked wasn't good enough for an offer of a helping hand to a stranded woman.

What I really did was park in a semi populated big parking lot in the late afternoon, towards the back. The whole time I sat there I think there were only two other cars at all who came close to where I was. I started the car, put the coolant in and all was good and I got home without further incident.

I really didn't start to think much about the other thoughts bouncing around in my ping pong brain until I was safely on the road again. Then again, I didn't even mention the security aspect of a stranger rolling up to help. But all in all the ideas were an interesting relief to a fairly boring drive!

TBLG Fashion

Put away the heels and hose kids and think about really showing your pride!
American Apparel has come out with a line of new Tank Top, T - Shirts and more of interest to the TBLG nation!
Follow the link for a look!

Catering for a Queen

The Bravo television network has a show which features a caterer extrodinare called Chef Roble and Co. Season two-episode two was called "Too Hot to Handle"

I was already a fan of Roble's because of the catering background I had during my food service days but this show was extra fun.

Roble catered for the queen  B.Scott the androgynous Internet celebrity,  (right) who among other things wanted androgynous food.

I'm not going to spoil the show for you except to say the event was over the top! (Of course it was!)

For a look, go here.

I'm Married to a...

The vh1 series "I'm married to a..." has scored another must view for our transgender community. Not too long ago we saw Jessica of Jessica Who blog fame and her wife courageously present a very enlightening look at a crossdresser and his wife coming out of the closet. Now a new episode features a new Jessica and Scott, who happens to be a transgender man. Highlights as I saw them, included Scott's dialogue on being a person who happens to be trans not a transgender person first and foremost. Of equal importance was Jessica's religious and church background. This show is yet another look into our culture from the eyes of  real people who have something to say.

I'm Married To A...

Tu cara me suena

Another cross dressing entertainer from "Tu Cara" on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

Your Roll of Toilet Paper

A respected philosopher who was not "Randy Macho Man Savage" once was quoted as saying: "Life is like a roll of toilet paper (TP), the closer it comes to the end, the faster it goes. Lately the significance of that wise quote has not been lost on me.

I can get into sooooo many lines here such as can we bring two rolls for a shitty life? But I won't.

Any way you cut it, life is a game of your best plans turning to doo-doo and those pesky unplanned adventures threatening to do the same. But hey, no one ever said life would be fair or you can have extra TP. The best you can hope for is the girl in the next stall over sliding some under the partition.

As I approach 63, I do consider the so called winter of my life and most importantly-can I take any TP with me to the other side? Will I need it? Can you take it with you? If I find out, I will get back to you on that. I mean hey,  whats' more important the existence of an afterlife or TP to handle it?

If by this time you are thinking Cyrsti didn't really have anything to write about- that's not true.

I was going to get into earth shattering problems of why all of the sudden stylish clip earrings show up after I got my ears pierced or just why did  Lana Turner look so damn good in the original version of "The Postman Rings Twice". (above)

I'm leaving it to you to decide because my mind is worn out from all this heavy duty philosophizing..

See you later, I'm headed to the rest room to steal more quotes off the wall!

Cyrsti's Condo Quote of the Day

 " If a person thinks you have to have a penis to be a real man or a vagina to be a real woman, does that make them a real ass-hole?"  Guess who?