Horror Scope

Well kids, another week has flown by like the crows on the trees around Cyrsti's Condo and it's time for another "Horror Scope"... for  Libra's:

(September 23-October 22): This week will be blissful and beautiful in a most loving way. Seems you and your baby will find a simpatico that has you both accomplishing a long sought after goal that you never thought would happen. Not to say you didn’t have faith in it, but you didn’t know if you would have the stamina. Well, it seems success is here!

Not to be selfish... You can get your own "Horror Scope" (my term) from theFrisky!

My "scope" this week was very much on the money. I had a "look whose coming to dinner" Sunday afternoon with my gf and family. We "broke bread" (ate dinner) with her Dad, brother and son. All three knew she had a girlfriend but Dad and brother didn't know about the transgender girlfriend part. Happy to say all went well!

Security and The Trans Girl

Never have I posted any experiences or reflections which generated so much positive response as my recent "Looking Over my Shoulder" post here in Cyrsti's Condo.
I am going to provide you all with a few of the comments and try to tie them all together:

Sarah wrote: "Never discount your sixth sense especially when it comes to your safety. Before I started transitioning I used to always have these odd feelings when alone at night. It was something I didn't quite understand since I really wasn't "supposed" to feel this way. I wondered where this male privilege was everyone talks about? Since I have been full time and have happily traded in male privilege for passing privilege, those feelings I had in the past are still with me but now make sense. It's not so much a feeling of being vulnerable as it is being cautious and aware of things. I agree that how we present ourselves has everything to do with how we're received. As time has elapsed, the "less is more" philosophy has borne wonderful fruit. The only makeup I put on regularly is eye makeup, usually mascara. Sometimes it's nice to be noticed, but only if it's in a good way. Otherwise it's much nicer to be ignored."

 On the other end of the spectrum was Billie's comment:

" I can identify with being cornered by a man and I don't always like it! I willingly present as a female tramp and I've been told plenty of times I'm asking for it. This from both GGs and T-girls alike. I've also been told I have low (questionable) morals and they often tell me I have little self-respect. Maybe they're right! I've since bought a TASER and carry it in my purse!"


 And Lucy wrapped it all up with some good old common sense:

" This could happen to any woman, trans or not, regardless of how she is dressed, if she gets fixated on by a man who feels he can do what he likes. The only half-certain remedy is not to go to places where such men might be. But is that completely reasonable? It's a risk to be managed and lived with. A risk surely halved if one is in company, and not walking alone. They say, and it's backed up with statistics, that a teen or twenty-something male is the most likely to be attacked in the street, but there can't be many ordinary women who haven't at some time been frightened by being watched or followed or crowded into a corner, indoors or out."

So I guess for once I am just happy to have you ladies take the floor because you did such an incredible job!
Including you Calie at T-Central! Thanks!!!!

Triple Echo

In 1972 a curious surprising film called The Triple Echo was released. Of interest to me was the basic premise of the story. In WWII England, a soldier goes AWOL, cross dressed as a woman and ends up actually going to a dance with a British Army Sergeant (Oliver Reed) who has taken a liking to him. The whole movie is on YouTube and I will only tell you it's not a light hearted comedy.

Transgender Military Service?

Recently Allyson Robinson (below) the director of OutServe took a look at former Defense Secretary Leon Panetta's legacy. Of course her comments concerning transgender military personnel caught my attention as a trans vet. Here's are a couple of excerpts:

" History will remember Panetta's tenure at the Defense Department favorably for these decisions to change policies that no longer reflected the reality of our wars or, just as importantly, the values of our nation. As a woman veteran, I was elated with these changes. As the wife of a woman veteran (my wife Danyelle was a West Point classmate of mine and served as an Army officer with honor and distinction), I felt encouraged by them. But as a transgender veteran, and an advocate for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) service members, veterans and their families, the changes that Secretary Panetta brought about in his last days in office have left me emboldened. Here's why: As the combat exclusion for women comes to an end and open service for gay, lesbian and bisexual Americans edges closer to truly equal service, it becomes more and more obvious that there is no longer any rational basis on which to bar qualified transgender people from serving in our armed forces. Transgender people (people whose inherent sense of their gender is out of sync with the sex they were declared to be when they were born) have served in America's armed forces from the start."

"Today thousands wear our nation's uniform and fight our nation's wars, despite the fact that, like gay and lesbian service members under DADT, they must hide who they are to serve the country they love. However, what makes their situation different from that faced until recently by gays and lesbians is that no law bars their way. Instead, military medical regulations written decades before most of them were born, when being transgender was poorly understood and prejudice ran deep even among medical and mental health professionals, pronounce them unfit to serve. Over the last 50 years our understanding of the transgender experience has grown significantly. Today thousands of Americans every year receive treatment for gender dysphoria, as the condition is now known. They go on to live full, fulfilling lives and to contribute to their communities and society, often in exemplary ways. They are famous inventors, engineers and well-known authors, fire fighters and police officers, teachers and pastors, parents and spouses -- and soldiers, sailors, airmen, marines, and coast guardsmen. In fact, studies show that transgender people are more likely than their fellow citizens to serve in the military -- perhaps twice as likely."

To read more go here to the Huffington Post.

So Hot It's Flamin!

It is no surprise the Bravo television network is very gay orientated.  But Bravo has unleashed a new level in gay talk on Fashion Queens. Forget about political correctness as guests Miss Lawrence (right) and Derek J "critique" female celebrities. Here is one review from Madam Noire:

"Last night Bravo aired a new tv show, “Fashion Queens” featuring hair stylist Derek J, fellow hair stylist and “Real House Wives of Atlanta” cast member, Miss Lawrence, and media and style maven and Bevy Smith. The three big personalities discussed things like haute couture, trends and what would a fashion show be without the shade that comes with discussing the most egregious fashion faux pas. The show is primarily about style, so it was interesting Bravo chose Derek J. If you’ve seen some of his public appearances, you might have noticed that more times than not, he’s far from impeccably dressed. And I’m not referring to the fact that he wears women’s clothes, but more to the fact that he wears ill-fitting, tacky looking women’s clothes. But let me stop. That’s not what I’m here for today. During last night’s show, I was otherwise occupied, catching up on “Girls” episodes and watching “Golden Girls.” But I jumped on Twitter for a hot second to see that Derek J, whose business is hair, made some interesting comments. He said that he’s “not a fan of the natural hair movement.” Ok, fair. You don’t have to like it. But then he took a step further saying: “natural hair is not for everyone.”

Maybe it was just when I watched it (no I wasn't intoxicated) I just got a giggle from this 'flamin" gay look at current culture.

Trans In Fighting in the Pentagon

From the Dallas Voice.Com:


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When “don’t ask, don’t tell” was repealed, gays, lesbians and bisexuals became eligible to serve openly in the military. Transgender people still cannot. But since 2011, trans woman Amanda Simpson (above) has served as special assistant to the assistant secretary of the Army. In 2009, when President Barack Obama named Simpson to a position in the Commerce Department, she became the first trans presidential appointee. While some accused Obama of filling quotas, those Simpson had worked with during her career at Raytheon touted her experience as a test pilot, an engineer and as deputy director in the company’s advanced missiles and unmanned systems product line. But it’s Simpson’s work on trans issues and her care for the LGBT community that endeared her to her Raytheon co-workers. Louise Young, who founded Raytheon’s LGBT employee resource group, credited Simpson with getting gender identity and expression added to the company’s equal opportunity policy. “It’s a delightful irony she’s working with the Army,” Young said. “Amanda is a real trailblazer in many ways.”

For more go here.

Looking over my Shoulder

"Male Privilege" has long been one of the hot topics directed at the transgender woman.
The most common lost privilege is perceived gender intelligence of course. The most dangerous loss of so called male status has to be personal security.
Recently I went to a fairly good sized club in an area of town where most of the gay venues are clustered together. A trans girl friend and I decided to go "gay" for the evening since we simply haven't been there for a while. Of course once we got in there, I discovered I had left my phone in the car and god forbid I just had to have it.

It was dark and I had to walk across two dark parking lots to my car. I thought nothing of it until I was about halfway to the car and did start to look over my shoulder a bit. I did know the area well and know it to be well populated and safe so I wasn't being a total paranoiac mess but the thought was there.

The safety concern should have been there for me and all of us of course! As with any genetic woman who grew up knowing the gender parameters of safety, we need to know it too.

My first lesson came years ago.  You may remember me mentioning knowing a very diverse small group in nearby Columbus. By diverse I mean there were a couple of transsexual women who were gearing up for SRS, cross dressers, a few spouses and one admirer. Of course at that time I didn't identify with any of those groups and had no idea what transgender even was (this was the early to mid 80's).

Approximately most of us would get together at one the homes. On occasion my wife would go with me to these get together's and sometimes not.  One of the evenings she did go with me I learned one of the first rules of feminine safety...don't get cornered!

As I got dolled up for the evening, we were having the usual battle about how I was dressed.  To put it mildly, provocative was the word she used. Too much make up, too much hair and too much leg just about covers her criticism. She was right and proved it that night.

The "admirer" was a big man. I'm guessing he outweighed me by at least 50 pounds and was 4 or 5 inches taller. I had met him before and didn't think much of it when he started to chat me up in a narrow hallway around the corner from where the others were. Slowly and then quickly he had me pinned close to the wall. For the first time in my life I felt I could be overwhelmed physically by another human.  My mind was racing on how a woman would or could get out of this if a man like him tried to really push it.

About that time my wife came around the corner.  As she was so adept at doing, she let me learn my lesson and let the admirer push a little farther before she stepped in and rescued me. Lesson learned. Of course I had to hear the infamous "well you dressed like a tramp, what did you expect". In reality, I was trying the "tramp" method to be validated as a woman. The worst path I could take.

So many years later, I realized the lesson so long ago set me on a positive path. The world today is a meaner more violent place and we all need to be careful.  I'm a total believer the female privileges we gain outnumber the male ones we lose. But losing the security card is certainly one to be aware of and be careful with.

Don't think pepper spray in your purse is a frivolous addition to your purse!

The Transition Life

On the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

Gay in the NFL

Breaking news from the sports site : SB NATION.

Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo was released by Baltimore this offseason, and on the heels of comments earlier this week where he suggested that he was cut in part because of his outspoken stance on gay rights and equality issues, Ayanbadejo clarified himself to the Baltimore Sun on Friday. During an hour-long interview he made it clear that he harbors no resentment for the Ravens, and respects them for the support they offered him throughout his career both on and off the field. But that's not all. When the conversation turned to his work with gay rights and the question of when we might see an openly gay player in the NFL, Ayanbadejo had this to say: "I think it will happen sooner than you think," Ayanbadejo said. "We're in talks with a handful of players who are considering it. There are up to four players being talked to right now and they're trying to be organized so they can come out on the same day together. It would make a major splash and take the pressure off one guy. It would be a monumental day if a handful or a few guys come out." Ayanbadejo's release not related to advocacy The 36-year old linebacker says he was misquoted in a report claiming his release was related to his stance on gay rights. He took to Twitter to defend his former team. In other words, everyone prepare themselves for the most insane day of the NFL offseason in human history. A day to make the sports world explode, basically. And it would be awesome.

For more go here.