Monday, December 17, 2012

"Speaking to the Choir"

Blurred Youth: Cross-dressing’s dirty laundry: Clothes do not define sexuality.
This is the title from The Daily Titan which is the student voice of the University of California, Fullerton.

The article does not delve into issues such as transgender or transsexual women and men but instead takes a look at more than a couple powerful constants: The history of gender choices and the societal impact today.

Here is a historical excerpt:

"There have been many instances in which society hasn’t placed so much emphasis on clothes in relation to sexuality. Historically, there have been the “two-spirit people”: Individuals within indigenous Native American tribes who lived harmoniously through their blurred sense of gender. They wore clothes and did work that were typically associated with the opposite gender, yet the majority of these people were explicitly heterosexual. In modern terms, countries such as Japan, while essentially holding LGBT rights on the same legal level as the United States, is a bit more lenient in terms of cross-dressing in popular culture. Some of this can perhaps be attested to the historical idea of bish?nen, which refers to youthful men whose beauty transcended that of gender or sexual orientation. The hijra of South Asia are another example, men whose physiological state is that of a male, but who take on female gender roles. Their history is also rich, tracing back to the inception of the Kama Sutra. It was during British rule of India that these people were sought out to be eradicated, further displaying a sense that Western “morality” has consistently been a looming threat over previously relevant gender associations."

And a more current observation:


"Most of the problem people have with cross-dressing seems to not be so much about the person who is dressing, but rather personal insecurity and a fear of being dominated. What this means is that men in our society are afraid to be treated like women, much like the way they sexualize and demean women themselves. This means that when a man encounters a gay man, he assumes that he has become an object of sexuality, and that this gay man is going to try and show dominance over him. Being that many cross-dressers are typically perceived as being gay, this situation is relatable to myself. The initial reaction I encounter with men who are at first convinced that I’m a girl is one of shame, as if they should have known better. However, I find such hindsight to be a poor justification in initially finding someone attractive. Many claim that cross-dressers and transsexuals should not “trick” straight men with their appearance, but perhaps it is actually straight men that are confused about their own sexuality and are tricking themselves. I simply dress the part of a woman and that is all. I am not trying to sleep with you, nor do I find you remotely attractive. The only one who does is you. From that point, the situation continues to take on either one of two forms. The first is that the man feels uncomfortable, much like the aforementioned “gay encounter.” The other is that the man begins to openly treat me like a woman. As much as compliments like, “I would still have sex with you,” reinforce how much I can pull off my appearance, I can’t help but think how such comfortable demeaning mannerisms truly display the general attitude men posses towards women in our society. It’s sickening and, quite frankly, I’m really not that turned on. Cross-dressers are seldom seen as straight men, and until society is able to realize that is not entirely true, then we refuse to let go of irrational judgments based on simple things such as clothing. Ultimately, a piece of clothing is not always a sexual preference; it is a choice of taste and expression."

The post was written by Julie Nitori and you can go here to read more.

Horror Scope

Another week has jetted by here in Cyrsti's Condo and it's time for yet another "Horror Scope"! Libra (September 23-October 22):

Choices are going to be presented to you, giving you a new sense of freedom and making you want to act fast. You know who you are and what you love and that logic tends to fly out of the equation first. However, if that is how you’ve been doing things, perhaps a slight change in your approach is necessary. Don’t end this year messy. Hmmmm..."new sense of freedom" and "love, logic and messy"?

I'm glad the stars didn't try to add tooooo much! "Horrorscope" is my own term and you can get your own from theFrisky !

Sunday, December 16, 2012

The Mystery of Mom and Trans Daughters

I wrote this post some time ago here in Cyrsti's Condo and it's mainly directed towards those of you who have lost their Mothers: "Yes girlfriends, I'm talking about us. Some Mom's really wanted a daughter and dressed some of us as girls. Some Mom's may have found it interesting to relate to us on some level as a girl and let us in on a little makeup or clothes. Other Mom's may have shut us out all together. All of the mother/son interaction intrigues me because of a couple of reasons. The first would be the simple question of why me? Did my Mom set me up for all of this? (My brother believes she did). The second would be is how much I look like her. How many of you believe your Mom knowingly or even unknowingly opened your door into a female world? I remember vividly the way my Mom blotted her lipstick and made sure the rest of her outfit was together before she went out. I would bet you my brother doesn't! The age old question-environment or genetics? Was I predisposed to be transgender? Most likely it's a question I will never know. Maybe the whole "daughter" question explains my total lack of respect for women who do not take care of themselves. This girl was raised believing that appearance was part of the female gender. My Mom passed away years ago and I believe in two sure facts. She would like the fact I try to keep up a good appearance. She would hate the fact I'm a lot like some of the girls I brought home she didn't like!!!!!!"

Transgender Due Diligence

I'm biased but it's hard to imagine many tougher journeys through life than changing ones gender.
If you are lucky enough to know for sure you were born into the wrong body and you are fortunate to be born into a loving accepting family-then you have society to face.
If you aren't, at the least- you have the genders ripping and tearing you apart internally. At the worst you become a tragic suicide statistic.

A few alternatives of course are therapy or due diligence. My definition of transgender due diligence is exploring the world the best you can.  In other words you are stuck patching together bits and pieces of a life in your planned gender.  I liken it to to playing golf, the more you play the better you are. In my own case I normally averaged perhaps one day a week to get out in the public and test the feminine waters it was tough to learn the girl basics.
Plus, like many of you I understand completely the dynamics of tearing loved ones, friends and jobs and possibly losing them all.  I am not one of those in the transgender community who rate you on time served or operations you have had or how you look.

I have heard from more than a couple trans folks who have taken me to task for being an intruder of sorts into the so called higher echelon ranks of those who are fortunate to live a quality life in my chosen gender. But more importantly I hear from more of you asking how I served my due diligence to arrive here.

For any number of reasons, I buried my true feelings deep into my own mental closet believing cross dressing was enough. On occasion I think by the time my life is over, it will be shortened by the extra gender stress I suffered. But, it's way too late to cry over lost dresses.

So if we survive the Mayan debacle, a stray asteroid  or even a giant solar flare- think about your due diligence in the new year. Consider your biggest warning could be  not jumping from the frying pan into the fire.Don't get burnt and  run out and buy a store bought vagina before you have any chance to socialize yourself as a woman and start taking it out on the world.
What happened to the days when you had to live a year or so as a woman before a clinic would accept you for surgery? What a concept! How many have found that even a store bought vagina does not guarantee acceptance in society- or that you would even like it?

Just remember the "DD" experience (not that one!) Do the best you can to serve your due diligence as a girl and plan your life from there.  Doing your best is all anyone can ask.

Pejic Fronts Again

Andrej Pejic, an androgynous model who made headlines throughout the year of 2012, made another history by becoming the first male model to be featured on the cover of Elle Serbia.

Beautiful Transgender Changes

Yet another YouTube video to pass along here in Cyrsti's Condo of a young transgender woman's journey:



Saturday, December 15, 2012

HRT Month Twelve

December 31st 2011 I took my first "little blue pill" which to the consternation of one pharmacist was estrogen and did I know I was taking it?
Quite the year in review though-regardless of her invading my privacy.

Changes in the breast area came quickly. Changes to my psyche took a couple extra months and as the six month point rolled around I was noticing full scale changes in my face and skin.In addition,  emotional issues began to gain importance as I increasingly was becoming more socialized as a woman.
The summer months were similar to a furnace for me but for the first time I could actually wear sleeveless feminine fashions. Later in the summer, more than the weather heated up when I started my battle with the VA for my second phase of HRT with a real live endoctrinologist .  During a three month period I had to decrease my dosages while the bureaucracy took it's slow time. I hit the wall during that time and didn't really gain momentum again until later in the fall.
I finally made it to an appointment with the "Endo Doc" and he signed off on my status quo until the first of next year.

So here we are.  Changes are occurring now in my hips and rear area, body hair has thinned greatly and the hair on my head has thickened. All were predicted by my first Doc. Of course my facial hair has not been effected.
Emotionally, I think I worry more and I burst into tears when I first saw the elementary school tragedy yesterday plus I think I smell more.  All of these (I know) are highly subjective facts.
All in all it's been a wonderful year which exceeded all my expectations. Luckily,  the fun part of the year was my life outside of the pharmaceuticals.

In the spirit of 2013 coming soon, I will being passing along those experiences too! Thanks for being along for the ride!

Putting Out the Fire

Another picture of transgender model Claudia Charriez who recently won her assault case against NYC fire fighter Taylor Murphy.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Sports and the Trans Girl

Last night was sports night with two of my **girlfriends.
Unbelievably the NFL season is winding down and the much maligned Thursday night games are over. Just so happened the final involved a team two of us follow closely and the rival of our other friend. So the scene was set for her to root against us.
The fun part about this is both of them is  neither are quiet people and they know their sports. Plus the rebellious inner me says "Ha! It is possible to express my feminine side in jeans with other friends."  290 years ago the "sisters of the cloth" who turned their cross dressing noses up at me were wrong. But hey, I don't hold a grudge much past 250 years!
Truly, I didn't sit down to say who was right or wrong. After all it's an individual's choice. One girl's coffee and chat (transgender or not) is another girl's big draft beer and wings. Isn't that the fun part of being humans?
Back to the game. We won!  What happened next though was what struck me as the feminine spin on the whole night. Both of them wanted to know what would happen to our night of course sports was just an excuse to get together for some fun. Not to add too much drama to all of this but maybe we were no different than the cave women from different caves watching the men bringing home the "beast" of the day for dinner. After dinner and the huge bones were tossed to the dogs maybe the women made plans to socialize again. ( No I am not that old!)
Only the technology has changed.

**All my posts in Cyrsti's Condo will tell you when I'm dealing with a transgender woman. If I say "woman" I am referring to a genetic female.

Feeling the Pain

  Image from Eugenia  Maximova  on UnSplash. Learning on the fly all I needed to know concerning my authentic life as a transgender woman of...