What is a Freak?

First let's find an "Official" definition:
freak ¹  (frk)

n.

1. A thing or occurrence that is markedly unusual or irregular: A freak of nature produced the midsummer snow.

2. An abnormally formed organism, especially a person or animal regarded as a curiosity or monstrosity.

3. A sudden capricious turn of mind; a whim: "The freaks of the psyche can no more be explained than the Devil" (Maurice Collis).

4. Slang

a. A drug user or addict: a speed freak.

b. An eccentric or nonconformist person, especially a member of a counterculture.

c. An enthusiast: rock music freaks.

You all probably know where I'm going with all of this. For some reason lately I've been on a tangent with "F" words. Check my recent blog post!
I guess I was looking for some good in the definition of "freak". Being a child of the 60's, freak of course was not entirely a bad term.
Looking at the definition above from "The Free Dictionary" the slang "b" definition certainly refers to the 60's lifestyle.
The number two definition brings me to a couple other "F" words. These two are fear and faith.
Being viewed as a "curiosity" will be overcome by education from the transgendered world.
Being viewed as a "monstrosity" is completely ugly and brings back one story in particular. The Tennessee legislator who wants to "stomp a mud hole" in any trans woman or trans man who seemingly threatens him.
His story evokes fear in me and probably some of you too on some level.
The fear however is a powerful motivator for me. 
"Fear" leads me to my final "F" word-"fire".
Fear fires me up to have faith in myself. In my own small way, I'm trying to add my own definition  to the dictionary: 
When you call me a freak, I do operate in a gender flux situation which could in turn confuse or educate you.
Just don't be the monstrosity when you find out who I am. My faith will overcome your fear.

Holding Penalty-Fifteen Yards

I had to make a Super Bowl reference on the day of the big game.
First of all, the ditz that I am scheduled a colonoscopy the day after the game.
My Super Bowl menu was then set. Chicken Broth, yucky medicine and water.  For those of you who have been through them, you know I'm watching the game from the toilet.
Definitely not the most fun and glamorous evening I had planned but then again much better than colon cancer.
As with everything, there are bright spots. I had been gaining weight with the hormones and spending too much time writing-so! Why not start the diet the hard way!
On top of all of this, I've become impatient with my perceived lack of progress. Today at least until the next hot flash or twinge in my breasts.
While I'm on the topic, calling them breasts is so formal. Sure I have heard numerous genetic women call them breasts, boobs, boobies and of course "the girls".
I like the girls!
Maybe when I get to the official "jiggle" point with my breasts, maybe I'll will get a bottle of champagne and rechristen them "The Girls!".

Rocking the "F" Word!

What's worse, being called the "T' word (Tranny) or the "F" word (Faggot)?
I just wondered because not to long ago I think I heard someone call me that behind my back.
Actually the "F" word is a real warning sign for me.
Tranny is a word of ignorance to me unless some one in the transgendered community uses it. The public has not yet been conditioned yet to "gender" slur words.
The "F" word is a hate term to me. It is no different than using the "N" word with Black Americans.
The word also is a violent word to me. When I hear it directed at me or others, I'm automatically on guard and watching my back.
I equate the process with all the transgender violence we read about.
The only fortunate part of this process is that I haven't seen or heard it much in my life.
The sad part is I could be an exception.

Prom Date

On occasion my restless spirit will scan the "zillion" channel television service (I pay too much for ) for something good to watch.
I failed and ended watching yet another "angst" ridden prom movie. Doesn't matter which one. They are all the same.
As I watched, I thought how great I felt to not be that age again. Then I tried to remember what the experience was like.
First of all, I was not the social hit in high school. I transferred to the biggest school in my county from one of the smallest in the 10th grade. Culture shock was a gentle term compared to walking into a school of 1600 kids at the age of 14. For once, the desire to run home and put on girls clothes was the least of my problems.
For three years I did stay basically invisible and made good enough grades to get into a pretty good private college and went to my Junior and Senior Proms.
My junior prom was basically the girl choosing me because she needed a date.  She was my first real date and seemingly we had a good time but never went out again. I do remember not really wanting to wear her dress.
My senior prom was much different. I was socially active and had a steady girlfriend from the other high school in town. Interestingly my time with her was one of the few times in my life I didn't think about being the other gender. She was tall and blond and my old "60" Chevy Convertible just happened to be running good. The
big night included visits to both proms and dinner of course in a supper club in Dayton.
Looking back over the years, I guess my biggest fantasy was how it would be to have the guy be embarrassed to find a spot to pin the bouquet on my strapless gown.
Ironically I never reached that point but I did get a chance to go back to the very same supper club decades later. It closed and reopened as a gay venue and as such I had many chances to visit the very same women's bathroom my date used so many years ago.  I stopped and carefully adjusted my makeup the way I imagined she did. We spent the summer together before I left for college and she became serious about finding a husband in the Vietnam War era.
Tragically, my date committed suicide years later. Rumor had it she was depressed over losing her looks and husband again. (2nd marriage). How sad she couldn't have felt worth in herself as a woman past the mirror.
So much for just watching a harmless prom movie.
Here's the only other "catch" in the 8th grade. I broke my collarbone playing football. The doc said he was just going to stabilize it and it would heal. The quote was "he won't be wearing a low cut dress anyhow"!
Wow was he wrong!

Pre Spring Cleaning of Email Box

Feels like spring in February here so I thought I would go back through some old stories and bundle them up and pass them along.
The first is about "Andy Cass" in the UK who tried a "do it yourself" sex change.
Forunately Andy survived it and is now "Kirsty".

The next story is about a fork lift driver who retired two years early after sex change surgery.
I'll pass along more as the "cleaning" continues!

"Lizzie's Retirement Party"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is It Hot In Here?

It was very hot in here for about five minutes or so yesterday about 6 pm.
I was coming back inside from an unseasonably warm February day in my winter part of the world.
Took off my coat and sat down and BOOM!
I literally felt this rush of energy that went entirely to my face and I felt as if I was sitting looking up at a hot July summer sun at noon. My face and only my face was burning up but curiously, I wasn't sweating.
I thought maybe this was the start of the little known curiosity called "spontaneous combustion". Maybe you've read the stories of someone who was sitting in their easy chair one moment and the next thing you (or they) knew they were a pile of ashes.
Well, since I'm sitting here writing this-I didn't self combust.
What I did have was my first "hot flash". I know now a little of what my genetic female friends were talking about over the years. Wow!
It was quite the experience and left me feeling quite "warm and fuzzy" after the heat subsided.
Obviously, the hormones are doing their job!

New Picture.

I should say a different picture.
In an effort to provide you with a visual of the blond look I'm now in love with, I changed the blog's main picture.
More important than being in love with the style myself, the public seems to be responding well too.
The other night I even got to feel like a cougar after being approached by two much younger guys!

Transgendered Valentine?

Why not but is it time yet?
Read up on one idea by following this link in the "Rainbow Times".
In the meantime get your best red lipstick and a big "SMOOTCH" ready!

The "Third" Gender?

I'm passing along a post I wrote on another site in response to a "third gender" question.
I really dislike labels and even adding a new one but here was my response:

"Back in the day" I really never considered myself as a member of a third gender.
I was merely a guy who enjoyed being a girl on occasion and was told I did it rather well.
As life progressed, I found I was much more than a guy in a dress.
I also found I didn't fit in all of the so called transgendered groups.
Discovered I was too much girl for the crossdressers and not enough girl for the transsexuals.  Overally interested men figured I was sexually promiscuous as some gay men or drag queens tend to be. Lesbian or straight women were for the most part just wary and stand offish.
In the midst of all these problems, it occurred to me I was a third gender.
I thought and acted more and more feminine. Innately I was attracted to a softer life with music and even developed a love for "chick flicks."
So here I was, starting estrogen and feeling female changes in my physical body but still remaining a biological male.
Of course ancient Native American cultures (as well as others) believed and even looked up to "dual gender" individuals.  Increasingly, I became more than an interested observer of the cultures-I believed in their gender ideas. Why? Because I was living the life of a Third Gender person more and more.
Casual acquaintances ask me why their opposite gender mates think a certain way and  I am developing a whole new circle of friends who respect me- for me. Curiously, I'm at the same place I always was in the transgendered community with many.
Perhaps it's all just too complex for them or me to understand!"