Well! I never!

Well, I never thought I would spend a NewYears Eve like this one!
BFF and I met early to do a little shopping  and enjoy a cup of coffee before heading out for the evening.
The weather was unseasonably warm and fairly dry so life was good.The place we were headed wasn't far from the hotel so we took are time getting dressed for the party. She wore a wonderful feminine "little black dress" and I completed my outfit with a pair of slinky mid calf pants.
Several days before I checked the club's website and even called them to find out what they were featuring so I knew they were featuring a "burlesque" show. Since the venue is primarily gay I assumed the performers would be male.
I assumed wrong! Not only was the room full of straight couples, the performers were women and what a show it was!!!
In another life in a land far far away I was old enough to see the very end of live burlesque performances in Dayton and Toledo, Ohio when I was in college.
NEVER in my wildest dreams would I ever thought I would be watching one again starting my female hormones and admiring the shape of my hairless arms  working their way down to my french manicured nails.
But I was and enjoying the art form immensely! Burlesque performers and belly dancers completely embody the female form and sexuality to me.
I enjoy and learn from both.
As is the case with fun evenings, they come and go all too quickly!
I just hope the rest of 2012 can live up to it's beginning!

The Puzzle Piece Was There All The Time!

I have TWO major posts concerning my New Years Eve.
BFF and I ended up at a gay venue with a straight crowd watching a cis-female burlesque group? More later!
First things first.
I was lucky in the middle of an insane week to rush out and shop for an "outfit" and find what turned out to be the perfect top It is a gold and brown ruffled sleeveless top and  just jumped off the rack at me!
The only problem was that it was "sleeveless".
I knew I would be able to shed the hair on my arms for the first time in my life, the problem was what did my arms look like under all that ugly hair.
After a 5 gallon drum of hair removal cream and an hour of finding more hair in more places I ever knew I finally threw a sweater over my naked arms and headed out the door.
Later in the evening it was time to finally test my arms.
I slid the top on and stood back and held my breath as it softly slipped over my hips.
I was literally spellbound.
My age hormone replacement therapy had taken over and decreased my muscle mass to a point that I (and BFF) loved the way my arms looked.
A huge part of my female puzzle instantly came together. All of the sudden the effect of my upper body skin (arms,chest and face) came together.
I thought or wanted to believe my skin was soft enough without the hormones for all of this to happen. BFF tossed in an added bonus I hadn't thought of when she mentioned my skin tone was nice.
The biggest plus (obviously) is in the wardrobe department.  I don't have to worry about sleeve length anymore.
What a beginning to 2012! What a relief it is not to rely on hormones to work unrealistic miracles.
The miracle will be wonderful changes the meds slowly bring!
Oh, by the way I experienced the "cold chill" women experience when we are dressed up and near a door on a cold winter evening. No they were not being wimps!!!!

Cyrsti's Things-Chasing My Tail!

I have received and have in my possession my first 30 day supply of estrogen and testosterone blockers.
I have them mailed to my daughters for security reasons, my mail slot at home is not big enough for the post office person to safely deliver them.
Once I got home with my precious cargo, I paused to reflect on how long it took me to get here. Then I thought how far I have to go. Sure it's a long trip, but never boring!
I have mentioned so many times (you are certainly tired of hearing of it) my guy job is done!
Whatever impact the meds may have on me, the fact still remains the strongest tie to my male existence is GONE. 
The nice part is I have some time to sit back and take a look at possible directions to take. Of course I will keep you posted!
In the midst of all of this, an amazing event is occurring - the end of 2011. How did that happen? I know I've been frustrated all week long with a intense final week of work and not being 100% for a couple days due to a lingering sever cold.
Luckily I was able to find a very sharp outfit for a very hot New Year's Eve date; and
of course I have tried to come up with "incredible" year end blog posts.
All this week has proven is that I should not wish time away. All the wishing, planning and hoping for the final work days and my introduction to hormones has done nothing. Well, not quite "nothing". I'm finishing a frenetic week that I essentially missed out on life.
Hopefully, life will be near and dear to me and I will have a chance to recover my lost week.
In the meantime it's looking as if we will be very close to our first 150,000 hits here on the blog by years end. I certainly don't want to overlook this chance to thank each and everyone of you!

 

Should I Fell Guilty?

 I've seen a couple of stories floating around about the transgender woman who literally beat up a man on a NYC subway for calling her a man.
I'm not one to be drawn to graphic violence of any type, but I have to tell you I did try to watch this video.
Ironically YouTube had removed the video for "shocking and disgusting" content.
Immediately I wondered if the video of the transgender teen who was beaten in a McDonald's was on YouTube why wasn't this? More discrimination?
At any rate, as much as I have wanted to turn on someone in my past for their ignorant, insensitive behavior it would somehow be counter productive to do it. It's just not me.
So it would have been a guilty pleasure to watch a transgendered sister pull a can of whup ass out of her purse and thump an insensitive bastard.
Personally I will stick to words!

"Lipstick Boy?"

Here I was, undoubtedly attending my last Christmas with my family as a man. As I have mentioned, I m out to my daughter and other friends but not to my brother and mother in law. 
My brother and I are the oldest remaining members of the family which is now down loaded with about ten grand kids.
Two of his grandsons are approximately the same age, around 5. The first arrived with his 3 siblings (all girls).
I missed the first part of the conversation but started listening intently when my brother said "you don't want to be a lipstick boy?" I thought "what if he does?" He is truly a pretty boy with blond hair and blue eyes.  What if he does?
I have to say I don't think my brother will have a problem with me...or the grandson if true. Believe me I'm not speculating. Brother has never shown any indication of being homo or transphobic.
My mother in law would be shocked I'm sure but she would then be very worried about the health ramifications of my transition. To clarify, she is the mother of my deceased wife.
I really considered coming out to both around the Christmas holidays but then decided the holiday should not be just about me.
I'm not a huge believer in New Year's resolutions but coming out to the remainder of my family tops the list.
As far as the grandson goes? His Mom is really beautiful and good with makeup...who knows?
More importantly, she is a very caring, loving mother and I'm sure he would be in good hands.
Undoubtedly in 2012 my brother will be meeting the true lipstick boy!

REALLY????

From the "Daily Mail" in the UK:
Kerry Marshall, 18, who is currently undergoing a sex change to become a woman, managed to con a series of bank tellers into believing she was the television star, glamour model Katie Price.

Katie Price

Obviously there must be more to this story that doesn't meet the eye!

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2078962/Teenage-transsexual-tricked-bank-staff-thinking-Katie-Price-steal-2-500-buy-Mazda-MX5-sports-car-name.html#ixzz1hnMZRntU

A "Natural Woman"?

One of the people who is very close to the transgender journey I'm taking asked me the other night what kind of woman do I think I will become.
Easy question, loving, giving, gentle and beautiful! Even though I wish I could achieve all those attributes, that wasn't what she was talking about.
Very bluntly she asked (love it!) when I leave the house day after day to run chores or whatever what kind of woman do I think I will be?  She used two examples on both ends of the spectrum.
Would I be the "natural" type of girl who basically throws on a pair of jeans and t-shirt and takes on the public OR would I be one of the girls (similar to the one she works with) who would never face the world without her makeup and perfect hair.
Good question and one I have thought about.. The great majority of women where I live are the so called "natural" types and I'm being kind. Female slobs are a better term.
So now I will finally have the chance to put my makeup where my words are.
From my perspective right now, here is what kind of girl I will be-the one I am now. My personal style is very ingrained and is who I am. So yes, I would prefer never to be out without my eye makeup, lipstick and foundation.
What I do hope happens is the hormones soften my skin and features so I will get to use less foundation. Electrolysis is very much out of the question financially currently but my beard right now is very much a one close shave a day deal. Hopefully, I will get a slight beard reduction but not one I'm expecting.
The other hair I want grow is on my head of course. I haven't had a hair cut in the last 3 or 4 months so I have a head start (no pun intended). I simply can't wait for it to grow to the point I can get it colored and styled.  I have no reason to believe my hair will not always be a major part of me!
That's my answer as of now and of course changes are predictable. The only constant is certainly change.
As I move forward I expect the time I spend on preparing for the public will decrease too.  To the amazement of many women my prep time is way below a half hour now and I already have a cleansing and moisturizer routine for my skin.
The bottom line is I realize being a girl is more work. I have done it for years. Just a labor of love I guess!
I still have to pinch myself that all of this is happening!

Should a Transgendered Woman Reveal Her Age?

I normally never revealed my age. I would simply say you should never ask a woman her age or what does it matter? I'm fortunate in that most people think I'm at least 10 years younger as a female.
Before my full head of hair began to turn grey, I enjoyed similar reactions as a guy.
Why does it matter? It's a trust issue?
For good reason, the Internet is and should be a place where someone should be wary of much of what is written and seen.
Many people simply don't believe either I'm 62 or my pictures are real.
I used to try to post certain pix of me in a public place to prove my point but now I'm sort of in an in between place. 
If I write about being of the age to collect partial Social Security, those of you in the know realize I have to be 62.
To a chosen few, that still isn't enough? Now I'm fixing my pictures? I wish I was smart enough!
Maybe because I have very ill with yet another cold virus of some sort, I have been very bitchy.
Or maybe I should just take the whole age thing as a compliment.
It would be if people didn't think I was telling the truth.
One way or another, thanks for reading my rant!
On the positive side, I only have 3 more days to work and I plan on taking my first hormones on New Year's Eve!

Maybe A Different View Of The Holiday's?

I know what you are thinking. A different outlook from Cyrsti? No, that's not possible! Yeah, right!
During this part of the year many of us go 100 miles an hour.
The most we can hope for is to think about slowing our lives down and celebrating our friends and family.
But what about our own transgendered selves?
Are we missing so much in our lives by looking for the future and not living the present?
We just can't wait for that new outfit or the next dose of hormones or the next procedure to make us our own dream woman.
I'm guilty too!
This is my Christmas greeting to you.
If you are in a very dark closet, may the dim light coming from under the door be your guide to the future!
If you are living the life in your chosen gender, slow down and feel  the inner satisfaction of your new life.
If you are in transition, try to enjoy a once in a lifetime gender trip most humans will never consider or even experience.
Wherever you may fit, I just want to thank you all for being here and Merry Christmas!