Monday, December 19, 2011

This Week's "Horror" Scope!

Libra (September 23- October 22)
Break out of the routine and let your baby have his way this week. As it goes, there is likely going to be a struggle for power in where you go and what plans you want to set. While it’s nice to have traditions, understand you’ve done them all as good as you can and something new will live in your memory books must stronger; seriously, listen to what your honey has to say!
Nothing earth shattering this week.
The only juicy part is the use of the "his" word with baby-and me! Is he or isn't he!!!!!!!!!!!

"Horror Scope" comes from "the Frisky". My term not theirs.

Transgendered Time Line

Tomorrow the hormonal epic continues.
I have an appointment with my primary VA Doc to FINALLY get the hormone scripts I have approved to be filled through the VA.
I know this road has really only been about 6 months...but the journey  has been a lifetime dream it seems. If I knew it or not!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Virginia Prince-Role Model?

If you are more mature you will remember Virginia Prince and her book "How to Be Female Though Male".(1979) and an earlier book "The Transvestite and His Wife".(1967).
Recently, Prince who passed away in 2009 has been credited and not credited with first using the Transgendered term.
Regardless of all of that, I remember buying both books and wishing I still had them as transgendered collector items! I'm thinking of coming up with the 12 bucks or so to reread them to see what is still relevant. As far as I know it all  could be.
When I read it I was 30 something and really going through my transgendered adolescence. I viewed Prince as a prude Grandma type (and still do!) But I did use both books to help educate my wife!
Every once in awhile, her name does come up and I even thought of her the other night in a restroom.  I was going through my purse looking for my lipstick. As I was looking I came across the "feminine hygiene product" I carry in my purse. Why do I carry it? Because so many years ago my "Grannie Virginia" said I should.  She said it was a sure fire way to solidify your female image in the women's room. You could be able to help a fellow girl in need!
As I was mentally reliving my past Virginia Prince's name came up loud and clear.
If by chance you don't know much about her, she is an interesting pioneer of sorts in our transgendered culture. Her legacy still provokes quite a bit of pro and con discussion!
She also founded "Tri-Ess" still very much in existence today. Tri-Ess  bills itself as the (The Society for the Second Self) ; an international educational, social and support group for heterosexual crossdressers, their partners, the spouses of married crossdressers and their families.
Tri-Ess has more than 30 chapters nationwide in the United States, and is a member of the World Congress of Transgender Organizations.
The group initially provided me with my first steps out of the transgendered closet and ironically introduced me to many individuals of all sexual persuasions. I vividly remember the first meetings with my wife.  From rooms with cigar smoking men in dresses (before it was chic) to beautiful girls getting ready to out on the town, the group was wonderfully diverse. I met friends I knew for decades, had my first makeover and first attempted pick up move by a guy in a bar. That was only the beginning.
Over the years I grew past Tri-Ess but highly recommend the organization for those who need a high level of discretion or are just discovering  more of their female self. It certainly worked for me and is another huge reason I'm the girl I am today.


Retro Transgendered Girl

I get one question the most, especially from civilians who are new to the transgendered culture: "When did you first feel the need to do this?" (Their words not mine.)
For awhile I had sort of an autobiography on one of the blog pages about my life and how similar it probably is to many of yours.
I say similar because it if wasn't for a little twist or turn here or there we could all be in the same place. If by chance you are a fully changed transsexual, I've seriously considered that route more than once and could be in your shoes.  You could be more of a weekend crossdresser who could be more like me with the proper opportunity.  But that is not what I'm writing about here.
I believe many single gendered individuals think we transgendered folks had this great blinding realization of "hey! I want to be another gender!"
For one, I can say it wasn't like that with me. I can safely say I was between the ages of 10 and 12 when I had this growing suspicion that something wasn't right. I had a real fascination with the female gender but somehow, someway it just took a twist with me. Many years passed before I finally realized my fascination with women wasn't so much sexual. I wanted to be them.
I do remember as clear as day when I made up an excuse to dress in the few girl clothes I could buy with my paper route money and appear in front of some of my pre teen friends-makeup mini skirt hose and all. My quick introduction as a girl was quick and did embarass them more than me but somehow I never heard much more about it from them. I do know I wanted so much for them to like the way I looked.
We lived in a very rural area and one of my "get aways" happened to be the woods behind our house. I would abuse my Mom's electric shaver and kept smooth legs most of the time. I would sneak out past my brother ( a couple years younger) and actually go to this special place I picked just to feel the wonderful caress of nylons, bras and dresses.
One important question I don't have the answer to is how I kept my legs shaved as much as I did. I was a very athletic kid and played three sports. I just don't know.
The person I feel the most sorry for during this time of my life was my brother. I was always sneaking behind his back barricading myself in the bathroom experimenting with makeup. Of course he did catch me on occasion and that's another story.
On the rare occasion I was home alone we had a long hallway in the house that for some reason had a full lenght mirror on it which was a transgendered kids best friend! The slow trip down the hall admiring myself in the mirror was heavenly!
So that was the beginning of the journey which brought me here to all of you today.
As I have said many times all of this occurred way before the Internet.  For years I was certain I was the only one who felt this way.
Of course as my life progressed I know now of the sign posts which directed me here.
In future posts I will try to take you there!

Friday, December 16, 2011

I am...I said

A friend of mine once told me...you pass because of will power.
Of course that was back in the day when "passing" was the politically correct term indicating you could move through society as your chosen  gender.
His comment was not much of a compliment.
Essentailly he was saying I was not a natural female beauty and he was and is right.
Little did he know how right he was-for different reasons.
All the trial and error of venturing out in the world as a girl slowly but surely turned "will power" into "attitude".
The more I interacted with the world, the more I felt more assured of who I was as a transgendered female. The more assured I felt my confidence grew.
When I arrived at the point when I didn't care if the public knew I was transgendered, my life became suddenly easier.
As the drag queens say "It's all in the attitude."
If I have a solid mental attitude about my gender choice, the general public will too.
I have sadly lost contact with the friend I had for years. He lived a  life many transgendered people know; go totally into the closet or risk losing your spouse and or financial life as you know it.
Hopefully someday I will get to see him again and thank him for his insight!


Nuture Your Transgender Style!

Style! We all see it and admire it. Style seems to be this vague yet concrete visual of who you are.  Men have a decided simpler edge in the style department. Fewer choices and in most cases women to help them with their choices.
Women of course have it much tougher. Everyone looks at us-men and women. Two girls I follow continually here on the blog are "Stana" and Janie". They define style at it's best.
The fun part with their style is they are so different yet so similar in how they approach it.
Examples? Just take a look at their blogs (linked here). Janie's Christmas pictures and Stana's pix of her latest trip say it all.
It's easy to think some of us are born with a unique sense of style. Is it just an accident that certain scarf or pair of shoes you just have to add to your wardrobe look so good on you?
Obviously not. A quick follow of Stana alone shows the complete dedication she has to her style and it shows.
On one of her blog posts she recommended a site which takes a total approach to style. "Nurturing Beauty" by Ginger Burr. I followed her advice and subscribed to her blog (free). Ginger's latest offerings included one called "How to Dress Cozy Without Feeling Sloppy".
As I read it, I started to think how it applied to my current situation. Essentially, Ginger writes about how you can feel good about your style even when you know no one else will see you. As I still live the dual male/female dynamic for a short time, I constantly think of what I can do to further the transition.
Of course there is the well known  female underwear worn under male clothes, but what else? I started some time ago wearing my breast forms any time I'm not working in guy drag.
Ginger's advice took me to a whole new level of what I can do to always feel better about my style if I'm out in public or at home doing the dishes. None of her advice meant you should wear a fancy cocktail dress all the time but you should make sure your work clothes fit well at the least. Subconsciously you need the sense of well being. I'm paraphrasing of course, check the link for more.
I know so many of you here have your own wonderful unique style. Some of you have discovered your style and nurture it. For those of you that haven't, check out Janie, Stana and Ginger for great hints!


Missing the Transgendered Feminine Experience

Sometimes I just want to scream.
I should be more patient when I receive a comment such as this. "I'm glad you get to dress up and go out and party; Ive done it a couple of times."
Really?
I replied "I did get dressed as a guy recently and went out and partied."
Then I calmed down and told the person the depth of my transgender experience. I am not playing dress up.  It's nice your wife has participated in your fantasy of being a girl but lifestyle and fantasy are vastly different creatures. If you are into labels, when your fantasy becomes your lifestyle you have moved from crossdresser to transgender.
If nothing else I should be content to be an educator. Hopefully the person I chatted with walked away with a whole new appreciation of transgendered life.

Staying in the Present as a Trans Woman

Outreach Image. JJ Hart, Cincinnati  Trans Wellness Conference  Throughout my life, I  have experienced difficulties with staying in the pre...