Following a brief break, I plan to turn up the heat again before we make it to the first of the year.
My reschedule with the actual doctor who can prescribe hormones (and is well respected) is next Monday.
Then I've figured out the two people I can contact to see if the VA will at least pay for the hormones themselves.
I have until the middle of December before I see the psychologist again. By that time I will know for sure if I will need Plans B thru X.
Shortly after that changing employment to begin transition is planned and possible.
Of course any plan is just that...a plan and we all know there will be many surprises ahead!
Stay tuned!
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
A Time For Thanks?
In a day or so it is Thanksgiving in my world. I say that because I know a percentage of our community here on the blog doesn't live in the United States. As the "old school" girl I am, I'm flattered, humbled and dazzled by the world wide web.
It's a time of the year when families get together to eat too much turkey and watch more football.
Unfortunately it is also the time of the year when many of our transgendered sisters and brothers are ostracized by critical families.
My two fave girls and I have talked about this being my last appearance as the "patriarch" of my immediate family Over the past five years or so our family has become bottom heavy with grandkids and yes I became the oldest person in the family.
While I could never picture myself as a "matriarch", obviously I will be quite different in a year.
How will this work?
I have written before of my brothers probable knowledge of my gender situation and my daughter preparing her family but there is a whole other level of family on my brother's side.
My decision is to not jump off any bridges before it's time and to give thanks for what I have.
Even though some of you may not be in an area that celebrates Thanksgiving, hopefully you will be able to stop for a second to give thanks for the gifts you do have. No manner how minor.
Happy Thanksgiving to all!
It's a time of the year when families get together to eat too much turkey and watch more football.
Unfortunately it is also the time of the year when many of our transgendered sisters and brothers are ostracized by critical families.
My two fave girls and I have talked about this being my last appearance as the "patriarch" of my immediate family Over the past five years or so our family has become bottom heavy with grandkids and yes I became the oldest person in the family.
While I could never picture myself as a "matriarch", obviously I will be quite different in a year.
How will this work?
I have written before of my brothers probable knowledge of my gender situation and my daughter preparing her family but there is a whole other level of family on my brother's side.
My decision is to not jump off any bridges before it's time and to give thanks for what I have.
Even though some of you may not be in an area that celebrates Thanksgiving, hopefully you will be able to stop for a second to give thanks for the gifts you do have. No manner how minor.
Happy Thanksgiving to all!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
I am NOT a Crossdresser!
Don't get upset. A while ago I wrote a post on Hub Pages and shared it here on why I'm not a crossdresser.
Here it is again:
Where is the mystical line? If you take the word in it's most basic form I am a crossdresser because I don't wear the clothes of my birth gender. Then again, who says what my birth gender really was?
What "clicks" in my brain when I'm a girl? I shop and eat and do girl stuff. I simply love the hair, clothes and makeup! The word cross dresser has no meaning. If I'm not a female, I'm certainly not a guy just dressed in ladies clothes trying to fool the world.
Are you a crossdresser? Even if you are walking through the mall in sky high heels, big hair and a short skirt you may not be. You could be going through your teen girl years. It happens to all of them. They grow up and so will you.
Don't get me wrong here. I know I will never be a genetic female. No amount of surgery or hormones has perfected that miracle of science yet. I am a mix of both genders and something I'm becoming very comfortable with. The crossdresser in you will disappear as you feel more comfortable and your female side establishes what she wants to be.
So,when someone refers to you as a crossdresser, maybe you are not. Think of it this way. I'm a guy out of convenience and a girl out of desire!
Over the months I've had several comments but the one I'm going to share is beyond wonderful!
Here it is again:
Maybe you aren't either.
I don't spend 100% of my life yet as a female, but when I do does that qualify me as a crossdresser? When I'm working as a guy...maybe I'm a crossdresser then?Where is the mystical line? If you take the word in it's most basic form I am a crossdresser because I don't wear the clothes of my birth gender. Then again, who says what my birth gender really was?
What "clicks" in my brain when I'm a girl? I shop and eat and do girl stuff. I simply love the hair, clothes and makeup! The word cross dresser has no meaning. If I'm not a female, I'm certainly not a guy just dressed in ladies clothes trying to fool the world.
Are you a crossdresser? Even if you are walking through the mall in sky high heels, big hair and a short skirt you may not be. You could be going through your teen girl years. It happens to all of them. They grow up and so will you.
Don't get me wrong here. I know I will never be a genetic female. No amount of surgery or hormones has perfected that miracle of science yet. I am a mix of both genders and something I'm becoming very comfortable with. The crossdresser in you will disappear as you feel more comfortable and your female side establishes what she wants to be.
So,when someone refers to you as a crossdresser, maybe you are not. Think of it this way. I'm a guy out of convenience and a girl out of desire!
Over the months I've had several comments but the one I'm going to share is beyond wonderful!
Monday, November 21, 2011
The Best Womanless Beauty Pageant?
More pix on the Picture Gallery Page!
Transgender Cup Half Full Or Empty?
As we pause to remember our transgendered sisters and brothers who have died for whatever reason, it is time to consider our past and future.
Here on the blog I try to present the positive and minimize the violence which does plague the transgender culture.
Why?
I try to be a positive person and perceive my cup as half full. Rehashing transgendered violence would make me no better than the 11 local television news. The news motto is "the bloodier, the better."
Having said that, the overwhelming sadness when someone is physically harmed just because of gender differences is just crazy.
Add the torment of emotional abuse from family and peer groups and this is a time to remember the ones who have suffered the ultimate penalty. It is also a time to not forget.
Transgender violence stories should serve as a constant reminder to all of us to be aware of our surroundings at all times. Maybe you should add that Mace pepper spray you have been thinking of buying and keep it in your purse. It's all part of being a woman.
Transgender violence should also remind us to always stand up and be counted when we can when transgender issues arise.
We can never forget that every little bit helps and together we can move the world.
It's a shame when violence has to motivate us.
Here on the blog I try to present the positive and minimize the violence which does plague the transgender culture.
Why?
I try to be a positive person and perceive my cup as half full. Rehashing transgendered violence would make me no better than the 11 local television news. The news motto is "the bloodier, the better."
Having said that, the overwhelming sadness when someone is physically harmed just because of gender differences is just crazy.
Add the torment of emotional abuse from family and peer groups and this is a time to remember the ones who have suffered the ultimate penalty. It is also a time to not forget.
Transgender violence stories should serve as a constant reminder to all of us to be aware of our surroundings at all times. Maybe you should add that Mace pepper spray you have been thinking of buying and keep it in your purse. It's all part of being a woman.
Transgender violence should also remind us to always stand up and be counted when we can when transgender issues arise.
We can never forget that every little bit helps and together we can move the world.
It's a shame when violence has to motivate us.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Fun Stuff!
Enough already!
Let's get back to real life.
Friday was a great day with my two fave girls.
In a previous post, i mentioned the conversation my daughter and I had concerning the girl scouts.
As we finished breakfast I took the opportunity to give her a little history of how this gender journey of mine unfolded. As it turned out, the conversation was more comfortable and less awkward than I expected.
If I put myself in her shoes I suppose I would wonder how all of this happened right before her eyes with three people all hiding it from her. The three peeps were myself of course. My first wife (her Mom) and my second wife (Step Mother).
I would wonder how my beer drinking, sports loving sometimes bearded father is crossing gender lines.
Much of the conversation centered on the attributes of both women she called Mom.
I spoke of the time her Mom really didn't know which gender of me would be picking her up at the airport when she got out of the Army and was coming to live with me.
I told the time her Step Mom told me "I wasn't man enough to be a woman."
Once I started the easier it became to explain who I was really becoming and how long the process took.
All too soon our time was up and the best part was yet to come when she said she wanted to take me shopping! I was just amazed, proud and simply blown away with the experience. I'm not sure how I got to this point with her or deserve it, but it sure is nice!
Part two of the day was a date with my fave Wiccan girl. She invited me to meet her group and sit in on a psychic reading. Other than enjoying her company, our dates are a total feminine experience for me. We are two women, nothing more, nothing less. Interestingly, we were the best dressed in the room and only one of two obvious couples.
Oh! I almost forgot to tell you the psychic didn't look at me and say "I see BIG changes in your future!"
At the end of the day I was desperately trying to determine what amount of Karma I have saved up to deserve this treatment from those two girls.
I just hope I have more in my savings!
Let's get back to real life.
Friday was a great day with my two fave girls.
In a previous post, i mentioned the conversation my daughter and I had concerning the girl scouts.
As we finished breakfast I took the opportunity to give her a little history of how this gender journey of mine unfolded. As it turned out, the conversation was more comfortable and less awkward than I expected.
If I put myself in her shoes I suppose I would wonder how all of this happened right before her eyes with three people all hiding it from her. The three peeps were myself of course. My first wife (her Mom) and my second wife (Step Mother).
I would wonder how my beer drinking, sports loving sometimes bearded father is crossing gender lines.
Much of the conversation centered on the attributes of both women she called Mom.
I spoke of the time her Mom really didn't know which gender of me would be picking her up at the airport when she got out of the Army and was coming to live with me.
I told the time her Step Mom told me "I wasn't man enough to be a woman."
Once I started the easier it became to explain who I was really becoming and how long the process took.
All too soon our time was up and the best part was yet to come when she said she wanted to take me shopping! I was just amazed, proud and simply blown away with the experience. I'm not sure how I got to this point with her or deserve it, but it sure is nice!
Part two of the day was a date with my fave Wiccan girl. She invited me to meet her group and sit in on a psychic reading. Other than enjoying her company, our dates are a total feminine experience for me. We are two women, nothing more, nothing less. Interestingly, we were the best dressed in the room and only one of two obvious couples.
Oh! I almost forgot to tell you the psychic didn't look at me and say "I see BIG changes in your future!"
At the end of the day I was desperately trying to determine what amount of Karma I have saved up to deserve this treatment from those two girls.
I just hope I have more in my savings!
REALLY?
A transgender woman in South Florida faces charges of practicing
cosmetic surgery without a license, after police say she injected an
unwitting patient’s buttocks with a handful of unsafe substances,
including tire mender Fix-A-Flat, NBC reported.
Seeking Attention To Get None
Transgender folk have to seek attention to get none. Once we get attention the world finds we are just real people like everyone else. We are good people and we are bad people. Same thoughts, same normal life. Yes, I said it normal.
We get up in the morning and go to bed at night and yes we are a part of the human race.
Once we are in the spotlight as transgendered women or men, it takes most of the fun away. Most of the population seems to to say Oh? and moves on.
I have mentioned the show being aired on the UK's Channel 4, "My Transsexual Summer". This show in particular looks in depth at 7 transgendered lives. You can watch a sample of it on YouTube and here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cts4nFWHvDs
Of course the British can have a more open look at some of the sexuality of our situations especially in the clip I saw. Female to Male transmen were having a realitively graphic look at a few male sexual "aids".
To use a big word, are all these spotlights the antithesis to the transgender stealth mode? "Stealth" is when one becomes so entrenched and comfortable in their chosen gender they simply disapeer into society?
If we as a transgender culture experience spotlights and publcity, will we too simply vanish into society?
Before any of us are too quick to scream yes we have to take a step back.
Sure the transsexual woman who has been living a quiet life for years next door to you deserves a lot of credit. She built her to the point she wanted. At the same time though, she wasn't the one to step forward and be out and active enough to push our cause forward.
My statement is an observation not an condemnation. I have no right to suggest how someone should live their life. I have a hard enough time with my own.
Only one thing is certain. If the spotlight shines on us and we don't push to make the time a positive one for transgendered people everywhere, we all deserve stealth or the closet.
After all, they may be similar except for the size.
More To The Song?
- Dude looks like a lady? Always a fan of feminine fashion, "Aerosmith" frontman Steven Tyler, 63, donned a tank top, ladies' straw hat, and nail polish during his vacation in Hawaii this week, where the rocker was joined by his 38-year-old girlfriend Erin Brady,picture and story from Yahoo.
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