Generation Transgendered

Slowly but surely,  parenting "self help" books are emerging. These help books (thank goodness) are centering around raising a transgendered child. "I Am J" by Chris Beam is written by a woman who has years of experience working with transgendered youths and raised a transgendered son.
It's no secret the tremendous guilt experienced by both sides. Parents are tormented by "what did I do wrong?" The kids are just tormented trying to be who their brain tells them to be.
Here is a short excerpt from Beam:
To ease the hurt, Beam suggests recalling your own relationship with
your own parents, and what it was like to become your own person, to
make your own decisions, to become "you." Transgender isn't a child's
"choice." But it's part of them, not their parents. It's yet another
piece of the separation between a parent's identity and their child's.
Stats on how many male to female kids are vague but numbers on female to male youth are even less specific.
Until recently, the number of female to male transgendered individuals was thought to be considerably less. The simplistic idea was that women could dress and act more "mannish" than men. The repression was considerably less or visible. A boy or man would have to go farther to do the opposite resulting in increased activity and visibility.
Just my opinion, but the transgendered boys could be "tom boys", grow up and blend into the lesbian culture...and essentially disappear. The hurt and turmoil they really experienced wasn't as easily exposed.
With books such as Beam's maybe some of that will change!

It Was Just My Imagination

Call it "karma"or whatever, but I was playing one of those trivia games on TV at a pub I was in. One of the questions was about "Eddie Kendricks". Kendricks had a great career with the legendary "Temptations" before moving on to a solo career. :
The place plays a lot of classic rock and about the same time, I'm treated to about 5 tunes in a row by groups such as the "Eagles, Doors and CCR".
As I sat there with my jeans and long hair, I became the long haired girl in the 70's I always wanted to be,
Just for a second "Kendricks"  was right.. I was just my imagination running away with me.
Wow, it certainly felt good!

Drag Shows a Good Sign?

Maybe the number of drag shows that are popping up around the country in various colleges are a good sign.
The younger gen is showing curiosity about our culture.
Here's a quote from the "Minneapolis City College News" following their drag show.
"Drag shows may appear to be performances hinged on glamor and
theatrics but they open a far deeper discussion about a person’s
identity." This quote came from one of the performers "Esme" who received her PhD in Hispanic Literature and Gender and Performance Studies.  She uses
drag shows as a platform to explore these issues.
During a Q&A session, the performers explained that drag is not just
about portraying the opposite gender.
“Drag is about incarnating the ideas of masculinity and femininity.
Those are ideas, not people,”

On a far different level, I see some of the "womanless beauty pageants" achieving the same purpose. The ones on the younger level do show the audience a person traveling to the other gender. We also know the womanless pageants provide the occasional stage for trans youth in the closet.
The saying is that any publicity is good. Good publicity and conversation is better!

Transgender Pagan Relgion?

I'm always fascinated by the different facets of the transgendered culture.
The transgendered woman is truly in the fabric of society as much as any group as evidenced during the "Lilith ritual" at "pantheacon". Evidently, some transgendered women were turned away leading to responses such as this.
"This struggle has been going since the Women’s Mysteries first appeared. These individuals selfishly never think about the following: if women allow men to be incorporated into Dianic Mysteries,What will women own on their own? Nothing! Again! Transies who attack us only care about themselves.
We women need our own culture, our own resourcing, our own traditions.
You can tell these are men, They don’t care if women loose the Only tradition reclaimed after much research and practice ,the Dianic Tradition. Men simply want in. its their will. How dare us women not let them in and give away the ONLY spiritual home we have!
Men want to worship the Goddess? Why not put in the WORK and create your own trads. The order of ATTIS for example,(dormant since the 4rth century) used to be for trans gendered people, also the castrata, men who castrated themselves to be more like the Goddess.
Why are we the ONLY tradition they want? Go Gardnerian!Go Druid! Go Ecclectic!
Filled with women, and men. They would fit fine.
But if you claim to be one of us, you have to have sometimes in your life a womb, and overies and MOON bleed and not die.
Women are born not made by men on operating tables."

What's she trying to say? lol!

Hiding in Site? Transgendered Girls.

How exactly does a man meet one of us?
Why is it so difficult?
I have an on line friend who enjoyed a wonderful relationship with a "Pre Op TS". She moved and he is left seeking another and having a rough time. I have had several "Yahoo" connects who echo his sentiment.
We all know there are many of us out there. That is where the problem starts. The transgendered woman has to be out for a start. Their closet is very small to start with and often includes a spouse. No more room for you.
What's worse, this can go two directions. Obviously we have the girls who are still in the closet and not available. We also have the women who have gone through all the surgery and are quietly leading "stealth" lives. Take both of these groups off the dating board.
Then, you have the sexual aspect. Sexual attraction could be a bigger problem than the first two together. The vast majority of the transgendered girls I have interacted with over the years had no interest in men. At least said they did. Subtract more girls from the board.
What's a man to do? Certainly, there are many sites who cater to men who want to date transgender. Many of those are nearly pornographic in nature. The others? Yes, you can find quality people on line but it's tough! I have posted on several dating sites as a female. (due to no choice) Then I explain my transgendered status. I assume there may be others like me. That is one idea.
How about local groups? Very difficult. the ones I have been involved with are pretty much closed environments due to closeted individuals.
Truly, the whole process is like finding that "needle in the haystack" and you don't want to get "stuck" when you find it.
I personally feel the pain because I've been looking for a transgendered "sister" to just hang out with. Shop, girl talk etc with absolutely no luck. I've found the most aggressive people seeking transgendered women are other trans girls...sexually!
So what can I say but "Good Luck"! We truly are rare creatures!

Transistion Pioneer?

The first crossdresser to transisiton?
A couple of days ago, I read  a comment in one of the groups I'm in. The person said she had never met a person who transitioned who was a crossdresser.. I really didn't understand but then again I did.
I know many today are moving towards labeling transsexuals as a medical situation rather than a mental one.  I'm not smart enough to even try to get into that debate. (or want to)
I've always maintained  that all of us are crossdressers. From the guy who wears his wife's panties once a week to a fully changed woman, we are still wearing the clothes of the opposite sex. Having said that, I don't think of myself as a crossdresser. Why? Because I SO much feel like a girl most of the time. Even that can be argued.  How could I ever know what a real girl feels like?

"Virginia Prince" circa 1948.

Who cares, it's all sematics. (and boring at that). Back to trans pioneer women.
We will never no for sure, but "Virginia Prince" could have been the publicized first. She was a trans pioneer who took the full time path without any surgery. She did take hormones and underwent electrolysis however and was one of the few resources for "hetero crossdressers" back in her day.
So, by not going through surgery was Virginia more of a crossdresser
who went through transisiton than Christine Jorgensen?
We will never know how Virginia herself would have approached this. She excluded gays and transsexuals and was a huge proponent of "ladylike" behavior.
Her opinion today would certainly be interesting.
I f she stepped to the podium to accept her pioneer award. She certainly would have been dressed appropriately!

Read more: http://zagria.blogspot.com/2008/04/virginia-prince-1912-pharmacologist.html#ixzz1Fb6FCs6k
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution

Another Piece of the Puzzle?

During my recent experiences on a couple dating sites, I have put together another piece of my transgendered puzzle.
Time and time again I get asked "what kind of man are you attracted to?"  Finally I figured it out. A macho man with an active intellect and humor.
Ironically enough, my three dates have all been "macho" big guys.  I thought initially the size and demeanor of the men just made me feel safe and feminine.
Now I feel it somehow goes deeper. Deeper than I imagined.
It took years to develop my own personal style. Now comes the character issues that come with it. 
We all know both genders have interest in our type of girl.  Especially men.
The next frontier is the sexual one, which I will never get into here. However men are men and we all know how they think. (Not a negative)
Maybe sooner more than later, life will give me more answers on my primary self!

OMG More Stuff!

War of the worlds erupted in my life last night.
I was sitting in one my favorite spots sipping an adult beverage enjoying my look and feel. You know  the stars were coming together. The deep satisfaction of feeling like a girl was making me all kinds of warm and fuzzy and I was talking girl talk to one of my bartender friends and a woman I had met before.
BAMM! My phone starts to buzz.  Life was good!
Two different cis-women from my guy life trying to see me last night.  One just wanted to sell me something so I blew her off but the other is one of the best friends I have and has been with me through death and financial disaster. I could not blow her off, so I had to go back and see her as my other self. For the record she knows of my trans status but chooses not to approach it. I respect her decision.
On top of that, my work tried to call me back in to close a store last night!  AAAAH!
On the positive side, I'm in a Yahoo group called "Only the Best Girls". The group features a "cover girl of the month and I thought I would pass her on!

WOW!

Hard to Believe

It has been nine months since this blog hit the world wide web thanks to Al Gore.
I thought I would get brave and look back at the first post.
Some three hundred posts later, this was how it all started!
Here is one of the stories I sent to a friend  and she thought I should share so...Here" ya" go! Direct from alternate life style redneck bars , two stellar tales...of me being me.
The first establishment basically was a female biker bar, not hardcore outlaw women, but a serious crew none the less. The best way I can describe the place was I got the juke box turned off one night when I played Shania Twane "Lord I feel like a Woman." No sense of humor...kind of like the urinal that was made into a planter.
The best pick up line I heard was "you don't look half bad. Maybe I should take you with me and we can see what kind of time we could have."
YAHOO. Me thinks that could have hurt!
Back in those days my wife was still alive and I had to be home around midnight. She got off about that time and I had to be presentable with all signs of makeup gone. Believe me, no amount of jabbering would have saved my place in the house when I told her I was abducted by an alien lesbian.
A kinder and gentler lesbian bar also operated on the same side of town. I made friends there that I'm in touch with today. (5 years later)
One night karaoke was the entertainment. Here she comes...burr haircut, cowboy hat and weighing in at a
conservative 250.
I'm in long blond hair, tight jeans and boots. It occurred to me quickly...  it may be about time I started sharpening up my non existent singing skills.
She did ask me to sing, she TOLD me to pick out a song. I thought "is this the way they treat girls in Texas?" 
I opted for the only song my male self destroyed after many beers...the romantic ballad
 "You don't have to call me Darling, Darling.  You don't even call me by my name."
 David Allan Coe if you're familiar.(I think he wrote it in jail?)
After we made sweet music (ha) she said "your voice is as low as mine!"
I felt as if I was in a "Lola" song remake, just all twisted up. In this version, I was the guy and she was Lola. Well, I kind of was the guy and she was kind of the girl but backward... when and if she put me on her knee. I thought maybe I could outrun her if I took my boots off!
We parted friends (thank god!) and I don't truly know if she guessed my gender. I had never seen her before or after!
Unfortunately all the pure lesbian bars are closed now in the area. How
sad. I miss drinking free. But more importantly, I won't get to try out
one of my top fantasies...female strippers in a lesbian bar! Dammit!
Mo MO MO! as Billy Idol would say was coming up!
Some fifty thousand visitors have read all or part of the blog over the past 9 months which is small compared to some but huge in my mind. I would like to thank all of you again for the chance to share a slice of my life with you!