Therapy

 

Therapist at work.

Since my fairly recent post concerning my therapist, I have received several comments, including a lengthy one from my partner Liz. Among others things, she was concerned with me wasting my time essentially hiding myself from my therapist. 

Through my WordPress platform I received this comment:  "I know you are not asking for advice, but if you can’t open up to your therapist perhaps you should find a different one or just stop going…that is the one place it should be safe to open up. If you aren’t getting that, at least you should talk about that."

Thanks! Liz mentioned that also. After all these years, I think I owe it to my therapist to at least bring up the subject of my expectations for her input.

Another comment came from Connie: "Well, I happen to be so cheap, ehr, thrifty that I have been completely open with any therapist I've seen. I don't like to pay for something I already know, and I want to give all the info I can about myself, so that the therapists can use their knowledge of how to make my life better. Of course, I've also had to educate them on what a trans person really is about most of the time. Unfortunately, I've had no luck with therapists making my life better - except for the one I saw for grievance counseling after my mom died my mom my mom's insurance covered it). He was from The Bronx, and had been a standup comedian before going into Psychology. The one thing he said, in his New York accent, that summed it all up was, "Fuck 'em, if they can't take a joke." I followed that with, "You mean that life is too serious to be taken too seriously?" He didn't even bother to ask if I wanted to make an appointment for another session. :-)

Thanks Connie, unfortunately I seemingly have lost the idea of free VA therapy somehow not being as important. When in fact it is. I had several different therapists I had to pay for out of my pocket and I expected more. Truthfully I didn't get more, I just didn't know what to expect. 

Heavy Weight Transgender

 On August 2nd, New Zealand's "Laurel Hubbard" will become the first out transgender athlete to participate in an Olympics. However, being able to compete has not come without it's challenges. 

The International Olympic Committee's medical chief has praised New Zealand transgender athlete Laurel Hubbard's bravery as a trailblazing athlete at the Tokyo Olympics.

Hubbard will become the first transgender athlete to compete at an Olympics when she starts in the heavyweight 87+kg category on Monday, a milestone Richard Budgett says is scientifically and morally justified.

Hubbard's participation has been a controversial topic. Australia's weightlifting federation tried to block Hubbard from competing at the 2018 Commonwealth Games, a ploy that was rejected by organizers, while British television personality Piers Morgan said her selection and approval was a "disaster for women's sport".

As you can imagine, there is much more. 

Vintage Drag

 I watch quite a few vintage movies on the Turner Classic Movie television network. Along the way I have discovered several "William Powell" classic movies. Especially the "Thin Man" series.

Yesterday I discovered a movie called "Love Crazy" in which Powell dons drag and impersonates a woman.  It's from 1941. Here is a picture.

Familiarity?

Pre Covid martial arts banquet.

 Every time I finish an appointment with my long time therapist, my partner Liz always digs deep to discover if I have told her (or anyone) of my deepest secrets.   Yesterday, I finally told her (Liz) no I don't go that deep with my therapist. I have a tendency to dance around any subject which pertains to me. We have been having sessions now for nearly a decade now so her familiarity with me allows me to dance away and rarely does she (therapist) catch me. 

I'm sure the reason I do it is goes back to the majority of my life when I struggled to hide my gender  dysphoria totally along with the inability to even understand what was going on with being bi-polar. Needless to say the entire process was very difficult and I became very good at hiding my true self from others. 

Even though Liz still has to take a pry bar to me to get me to show emotions, I am trying in my own backward way to be more outgoing. 

As far as my therapist goes though, maybe I should pull down the barriers and let her have it. Then again maybe not. My Dad was very emotionally withdrawn. It's just so difficult to overcome. 

Naked Therapy?

 Yesterday was time for my bi-weekly appointment with my long time therapist from the Veterans Administration. 

Football is getting close! 
Go Buckeyes!!!

The session started with the usual questions. How is everything going and have I had any thoughts of harming myself. I answered truthfully. Everything is moving along fine and no I haven't had any thoughts of self harm since the last time we talked. 

Since it was a video appointment I did do my beauty routine, pulled my hair back and was ready. I chose a short sleeved tank top which happened to be a beige patterned fabric. I guess on my old lap top camera it looked as if I wasn't wearing anything at all because not too far into the session, she asked was I wearing any clothes? 

After the laughter died down, I assured her it was warm in our house but not that warm. 

We finished the session with me telling her maybe naked therapy was the wave of the future. She said I would be surprised all the things she sees since the VA started video visits.

Actually, from my experiences when I used to show up in person for my appointments, nothing would surprise me.