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| JJ Hart, Mystic Connecticut. |
I received several interesting comments on my post yesterday on restroom usage while traveling.
The most interesting one said something to the point that I
did not mention I was a transgender woman. I guess because I have been writing
a blog which focuses on my transgender journey for over a decade now, I take it
for granted everyone knows I am a transfeminine person. Which is wrong. I
should never take anything for granted when I write.
The truth of the matter is I have evolved as I have
transitioned from the male gender to the female gender. All I know is,
everything I ever dreamed of was being able to live as close as I could to being
a woman. Over the years too, I have been attacked on what I meant about being a
woman with one person even calling me just another old guy on hormones. I felt
the comment was humorous and the person who said it was probably jealous, and I
moved on.
Much of the problem many people have with the term woman is deciding
who gets to have it. Long ago, I realized women were not born into the world,
females were, and women were socialized beings which is exactly what I was. I
just arrived at my womanhood from a different path than they did which meant I
needed to take a different road to acceptance. To do it, I quickly learned not
to out myself as transgender, or even try to “fool” the public into thinking I
was a cisgender woman. When I became the person, I was always destined to
become, I became successful in the world. It is the primary reason I don’t
mention the fact I am a transgender woman in my writings.
Plus, I don’t know what the real difference I have anymore
when I describe my dealings with the real world if I am trans or not. One point
I did miss out on yesterday was mentioning the help and kindness I was offered
due to my mobility issues. Thanks Denise. In today’s world, it is rare to be
part of strangers offering kindness of any kind. And it is important to note
the men on the tour did not step up in anyway to be social, just the women.
Which has very much been the story of my transition from its beginning. Women
were much more able and willing to let me into their world than men ever were. Again,
I was on familiar ground, and I let it all go. With my acceptance from the
ciswomen around my wife Liz and I who constantly referred to us as ladies, I
did not need any reassurance from any of the men. Or should I say validation.
So yes, I am transgender but more importantly I have
followed a very difficult path to be me on mostly my own terms. I went through
more errors than trials than I can ever mention to arrive at where I am. I had
a late start to be sure when I had no feedback on appearance and building myself
as a woman. I made a lot of mistakes to be sure but somehow, I made it to where
I could play in the girls’ sandbox.
On the other hand, I helped myself completely when I started
gender affirming hormones. When I did, I was able to sync up my inner and exterior
selves and have a better understanding of what the world really meant to me. I
was so much more than just an old guy on hormones, I was an old guy who was
going through some amazing changes as my skin softened, and my hair grew long
enough to have it professionally styled. More importantly, the inner changes I
went through were more profound as I discovered emotions and senses, I never
knew I had. Such as becoming sensitive to temperature and smells as never
before. The whole process opened a new
world for me and at the same time gave me more confidence in being me.
It was not until then did I realize how far I had come. To
be sure, there is a thin line between me being transgender and just being me.
If someone decides to dislike me because I crossed the gender border, it is on
them, not me. All I know is, the whole amazing trip made me a better person.
Finally, thanks for the thought-provoking comment. I hope I have
answered your question. I am a transgender woman but I am also just me.
