Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Another Sunday Edition is hitting your virtual front porch! We are having computer malfunctions around here and it is 5 AM - the only time I could get some time to write a quick post. Liz works from home and uses this computer too and is on call this week end. So let's get started!

Page One-The Week that Was or Wasn't: Time marched onward and now we are in the most difficult time of the year for many in the TGLBQ community. It's the time we keenly miss our former families who for whatever reason refuse to accept us. Many just don't ever seem to understand our lives are not just something we do because we want to - we live them because we have to. It's the time of year we all need to use social media or local LGBTQ centers to reach out and help each other!

Page Two- Busy-Busy-Busy: This week will be run, run, run. Monday essentially is an off day but then Tuesday kicks back in with Doctor's appointments, blood tests and hopefully the go ahead to begin my estrogen again. Plus Tuesday night is Liz's office Christmas Party. Even though the party is very casual,it brings back memories of parties of Christmas past when dressing up was a must! (Another blog post!)
Wednesday is another regular meeting with Love Must Win Inc.. The group's goal is to provide safe haven for any in the LGBTQ community who need it. Crucial for this time of year. Then on Thursday Liz and I will be going to their "Quarter Auction" which is actually the groups first fund raiser:





Page Three-Social Butterfly? As I said, Liz had to work Saturday so I was left unattended to go a breakfast meetup of a eclectic group here in Cincinnati called "Creatives." From writers to artists to any number of fascinating people, I always plan on meeting someone with ideas or a background I had very little knowledge about before I went. Yesterday I was fortunate enough to find a seat beside Jen who is working on a project I will pass along later. In the meantime, thanks Jen!

Page Four-the Back Page: Before I get kicked off of here. Best wishes to Shelle in her time of need. And let me leave the rest of you with this: (Thanks Ryan&Jonathan!)

You Know Your Are Old When?

Without a doubt I have visited more Doc's of different persuasions in the past six months than in the past 20 years. I'm just lucky to have my VA coverage to help me.

Last week was a down time with just my mammogram and a trip to my psychologist. Next week though, I visit my endocrinologist (to see if I can restart my estrogen). Plus I have what I call "vampire day" when they take a pint of my blood and I give another couple of vials for them to check for results.

But you know, before you feel the need to pass the cheese to me to go with my "whine", I can't believe all the others I have ran into lately with problems I can't even imagine. And my heart goes out to all of them.

Last night for example, Liz and I went to one of our small meet up groups. Out of ten or so women in the room, I was the only one transgender and born male. After three fourths of the experiences of violence and drug abuse from current or ex husband/boyfriends-I was ashamed to have ever walked in my guy shoes. 

As I have always wrote in Cyrsti's Condo, males are not born men-just as females are not born women. Both are socialized.

And, speaking of gender socialization, Dr. Phil recently had a show about an intersex child who was being raised as a boy by Mom and a girl by Dad (divorced). http://www.drphil.com/#Show2484



As you all know, I rarely recommend Dr. Phil, but this is a quality show. 

Family Ties?

Thanks to all of you who responded to my Cyrsti's Condo post about my only sibling (younger brother by two years) who pulled the plug this year for an invitation to the family Thanksgiving. When I told him I was transgender.

If you are wondering how it became his domain, it's because my deceased wife insisted she cook it and serve it every Thanksgiving for at least a decade. Just bring yourself.

As I wrote, first I was surprised, disappointed and then just hurt. And, most certainly, there was some anger worked in. 

The first comment comes from Shelle lles:

"I'm more than distressed about your brother,you deserve much more in life.
As for the mammogram and Shrink thing that was last week for me have a really funny story to share on my mammogram coming to my new blog soon.
Hugzz my dear friend keep moving forward always"

Thanks Shelle! You know I will and all of this has given me an extra incentive to do so! We will look for your post!

And, Connie wrote"

"I'm sorry about your brother's un-accepting "condition". It's an example of how our own transitions require the transitions of everyone around us. If he could only understand the despair you lived with all of those years, in fear that revealing yourself would lead to rejection. That fear was more disturbing to you than the actual rejection, 

I imagine. I'm so happy that you have such wonderful support from Liz and your daughter, though. We can't choose the families we're born into any more than we could have chosen the gender identities with which we were born - but we can choose who we love. I pray that your brother comes around to that realization some day."

Deep down, I feel like he already has and he didn't have the "balls" to stand up to his in laws and my nephews. His burden-not mine and yes Liz and my kid have already stepped up to fill the void.

In fact at Liz's family Thanksgiving her 90 year old NRA card carrying WWII Vet, took the occasion to tell how much he enjoyed having me there. As one chapter ends, another begins.

The Starship "Transgender?"

Neil deGrasse Tyson is by far my fave "astro physicist" if fact I had no idea of what an astro physicist was until I began to watch him and his Star Talk Show on the National Geographic Channel.  Last night's show was extra special though as he featured an interview with another of my "faves" Susan Sarandon.

Dr. Oppenheimer 

As the show wound it's way around more than a few concepts I don't pretend to totally understand-all of the sudden they were discussing one I did: it turns out Tyson's lead chair is Dr. Rebecca Oppenheimer. 

Dr. Oppenheimer is a comparative exoplanetary scientist: she studies planets orbiting stars other than the Sun. This nascent field is so young that much of the work involves developing the techniques needed to see these planets, so that their light can be dissected and analyzed. Her optics laboratory in the Rose Center is the birthplace of a number of new astronomical instruments designed to tackle this problem. In March 2004, Dr. Oppenheimer deployed the world's most sensitive coronagraph at the AEOS Telescope in Maui. See lyot.org for more information. In June 2008, her team deployed an even more precise and sensitive exoplanet imaging system at the Palomar Observatory. This instrument is called Project 1640 and involves researchers at AMNH, Cambridge, Caltech, and NASA/JPL. All of these instrumentation efforts, as well as several others including the starlight suppression system for the International Gemini Observatory Planet Imager project (GPI), were conducted in Oppenheimer's lab in the Rose Center at AMNH.

And oh by the way Dr. Oppenheimer is a transgender woman and I paraphrase: or a woman who happened to be made to live as Ben.  And what if gender wasn't an issue anyhow?

An idea we have pondered for most of out lives! For whatever reason, I could not come up with much of a link for his show tonight. You are on your own this time.

A Day in the Lifer?

When I was in the Army long ago, a military member who was planning to make it a "career" was called a "lifer." As I was writing this title, it occurred to me, most transgender women or trans men are "lifers" too-if we know it, fight it, live it-or not.  Actually, I screwed up -the title was supposed to be "A Day in the Life."

Today was mammogram day anyhow, so I knew from my last "mammy gram" the afternoon would provide it's own unique set of challenges. None particularly bad, just different. 

Since I am still operating under my male credentials, I raised a couple of eyebrows when I walked in-regardless of appearance.

To my surprise though, the receptionist didn't miss a beat and said she has a transgender woman friend who came out years ago. We had a brief conversation about how many trans folk there really are still in the closet. 

From then on, the visit went real smooth-from the technician and doctor to check out. Most importantly though, I was given a clean bill of health. I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo that my maternal grandmother passed from breast cancer in the 1950's, so there is an increased risk in the family.

Even the trip home was pretty uneventful as I was running slightly ahead of Cincinnati rush hour traffic. Once I got home Liz and I decided this gray, damp Monday night was prime for ordering in Asian.

So, I was closest to the door when the driver got there looking rather androgynous (at the best) and really confused the delivery driver. 

The tip I gave him though solved everything and he was on his way. My point is when you consider a Mtf 24/7 transition-consider this girl thing totally. Even if you are just meeting the delivery driver.  

Cyrsti's Condo "Remember?"

Angela Morley

From the Independent : "She was an Oscar-nominated, Emmy-winning composer from Yorkshire whose triumphs ranged from Watership Down to Dallas. But Angela Morley was also a transgender pioneer who faced the incomprehension of the music industry when she transitioned in the 1970s.

Now Morley’s story is being dramatized in a BBC play starring Rebecca Root, the first trans actor to play a leading transgender television role. The star of the BBC sitcom Boy Meets Girl, Root plays the musician who overcame prejudice to help bring the stirring scores to Star Wars and Schindler’s List to the screen.

Rebecca Root

Born Walter Stott in Leeds in 1924, the composer and conductor provided the orchestral arrangements for films including Peeping Tom (1960) as well dozens of albums, from Noël Coward to Dusty Springfield.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! A Thanksgiving Sunday Edition is hitting your virtual front porch. It's a cold chilly gray day here in Ohio, but actually a little warmer than the norm and perfect for a toasty "Cup O Joe"- grab a cup and let's get started!

Page One-The Week That Was or Wasn't: Nothing jumps out which was radically different. We found out again, Caitlin Jenner peered out from her gilded closet and proclaimed support for all the politicians who want to discriminate the transgender community but then comes out and says "keep it together all-will be OK." No surprises, after all Caitlin has a whole new season of her show coming up. Plenty of time to establish a foundation for in need transgender kids and call for equal trans rights...or not. Jenner has to remember, transgender is not spelled with a "H" -for hypocrite. 

Page Two-Deep Sadness: As Transgender "Days or Remembrance"  have or will still be celebrated around the world. All of us should take the time to never forget our "sisters and brothers" who often have paid the ultimate price for simply being born.  May the elusive peace denied them during life, find them on the "other side." In the meantime, radical conversion therapy still continues to drive kids to suicide.

Page Three-Giving Thanks: Tis now the season to begin looking around at the people that some times form our new families. Take my brother for example. He stuck the turkey knife in my back and said his family would "rather not" have the real me at dinner. Sure I was hurt but Liz and my daughter were both pissed to the point of saying "hell no they won't go if I 'butch it up." I no I am so fortunate to have in essence a whole back up family in that Liz and I were invited to my daughter's in laws and her family's Thanksgiving get togethers. With open arms. Shame on my brother.

For those who aren't so fortunate, it is a desperately lonely and dark time. A season for us who have a little extra love to pass around - to do it!!!!

Page Four-The Back Page: Beginning this week for me is another round of medical "stuff."
Monday, it mammogram time, Wednesday is shrink time and time to drop off the rest of my gender marker paper work at the probate court. In the meantime, remember thanks for stopping by the "Condo" and I love you all!

Who Brought the Spirits?

A rather dark picture from our pre Thanksgiving Meet Up! But who brought  the "spirits?"

If You Bought a New Cadillac-Would You Drive It?

Years and years ago, I heard Oprah interview several transgender women and their spouses who decided to stay with them through transition. A couple all the way through SRS. 

She (Oprah) zeroed in on one of the transgender women and asked her about the surgical procedures she endured. Then, she pushed the envelope farther and asked the trans woman about her "sexual" future. In other words, if she had a chance to fall in love and be sexually attracted to a man now-would she "try out" her new "equipment?" After pausing and with her wife sitting there-the trans woman said "no."

I paraphrase here and quote Oprah's quick response as a non believing "if you bought a Cadillac, why wouldn't you drive it?" Which brings me to another point.

Katie and Arin Young, Trans and Looking for Love, BBC

Katie Glover editor and publisher of Frock Magazine recently wrote a thoughtful article for the Independent  about the BBC3 Documentary "If you're young, trans and looking for love" you may want to check out. Katie doesn't "skirt" the issue and gets quickly to the "meaty parts."-or the promise (failed or not) of SRS.


You may want to follow the link above to read it.

My only point to be made is Sex Realignment Surgery should never be presented as a be all end all to any transgender person. After all, sex is sex and gender is gender and many times the two don't have to meet for a trans person to live a meaningful life.

To each his own though, so if you do have a new Cadillac in the garage, don't you at the least have to "test" drive it to keep it usable if you need it?