I am Transgendered

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Evening Spring Storms

Well it took awhile, tomorrow marks three full months on hormones.
 As I sat on my porch watching a thunderstorm roll in, here they came. First a deep melancholy enveloped me.
Not a deep dark cloud like the ones above me. Just a deep sense of what my life used to be and how different it was and...it was utterly and completely gone.
Then came moisture in my eyes followed by deep sobs that actually became painful after a while. The truth was nothing in my being had prepared me for this moment. Living as an emotional rock shielded me from this moment of vulnerability.
The odd part was I was not sobbing out of despair.  Deep down my soul told me I was where I needed to be and where I needed to go. I was saying goodbye to an era of life and loved ones I will never see again. No they didn't reject me, they are deceased.
I lived through a great bit of pain but wouldn't accept the sorrow.
As tears blur my eyes again, the storm has passed and the evening stars are shining bright!

Making A Difference!

From Oklahoma, "OK Magazine" comes the news that transgendered woman Brittany M. Novotny has been nominated for their "Best of the Best 2012" Award.
Here's more:
"In 2010, Novotny ran for political office, a House of Representatives seat, against veteran Oklahoma politician Sally Kern. She lost the race, but it hasn’t hindered Novotny’s belief that with big risks come big rewards. “You have to take risks if you want to do big things,” she says. “You will undoubtedly fail and make some mistakes, but it’s learning from those mistakes that will help you reach your dreams.” A private practice attorney, Novotny sees herself as an advocate for Oklahomans whose rights have been violated. “Sometimes my job entails a lot of reading and paperwork, and other times it involves public speaking and convincing jurors to see my case the way I see it,” she says. Novotny serves on the Community Advisory Board for the SKIL program at Youth Services of Oklahoma County, which helps teens who find themselves without a home to stay in school and get their diploma. She also volunteers on local political campaigns and does pro bono legal work for needy individuals or organizations."


Just as an aside, Sally Kern is a rather right wing politician Brittany ran against!
Making a difference-INDEED!

We Have Comments!

Once again the "Google Gods" have seen fit to save all the comments and toss them all in today. For all of you who sent them in THANKS and I will answer all today!
Promise!!!!

Cyrsti

Familiariarity with the Unfamiliar?

Maybe you have been there. You are sure you have been in a certain place or situation but then again knew you hadn't.
It's called "Deja Vu" by some.
Maybe why that is why I feel so naturally feminine now and why the whole feeling surpasses the need for a genital change in me? (Which is so important to others to think I should???)
Perhaps you heard of the theory of prenatal drugs given to expectant and pregnant mothers in the late 40's and early 1950's. I don't remember the whole story but research is being done to see if one of the most popular drugs of the time had a tendency to promote increased levels of female hormones. This in turn could have affected the fetus.
I was born in that time period.
Maybe the feminine feelings I fought so hard to understand and then deny were just my destiny.
My whole life was just "Deja Vu"?

New Video and Transgendered Television

I just posted a new video to our "Entertainment Center" here in the Condo sent along to me by a friend. The video contains a clip by "LoreleiLaneLee" a self proclaimed gay man who enjoys singing as a woman (and looks very good doing it!)
Also today another friend alerted me to the fact that "Doctor Oz" was going to be doing a new show on transgendered women.
This was good news for the transgendered community because "Doctor Oz" is the "Anti Jerry Springer". He could be trusted to provide a positive look at our lives-which he did.

Dr. McGinn at the Glaad Awards.

I'm sure you will be able to follow the link above to see excerpts of the show. Highlights included "Dr. Christine McGinn", another transgendered woman herself who is now a leading surgeon doing SRS.
Throughout the show, she took great pains to point out gender confusion was a correctable medical condition.
The two or three other guests also did their best to tell the world being transgendered was not a decision.
The show did a nice job of balancing the beauty of McGinn and the others who like most of us aren't that fortunate!
Finally, I do think shows like these have a tendency to locate and promote the "feel good" aspect of friends, family and work accepting those who have transitioned.
We all know that is a fantasy many of us struggle to achieve.
Having said that, the world needs to see it can work and don't think it can't happen to them. (with a close family member!)

Another Top Ten Transgender List!

"The Vine" just released their list of the top ten transgendered and androgynous models that are prettier than pageant queens.
Of interest is the fact the article included real live definitions :

Trans-gendered  Someone who identifies with a gender other than their biological one. So someone who was born with bits that don't match their brain.

Transvestite A person who adopts the dress and behaviour of a gender other than their biological one for reasons that are sometimes sexy, but often not, but does not primarily identify with that gender.

Cross dresser The practice of adopting the clothes of a gender other than your biological one.

Drag Adopting the characteristics of a gender other than your biological one as a form of performance.

Tranny Like the 'N-word', okay when someone who is it says it, not when they're not.

Queer The beautiful, rainbow coverall for all these things, and more.

Now lets get to the Top 10! Lots of pix that I am going to split up between here, the Den  and Trannsnation.com.

Three of them, Andrej Pejic, Lea T and Jenna Talaklova are givens and we have seen plenty of pictures of here. A few of the others are less known. At least here.

"Valentijn de Hingh has always been comfortable in front of the camera —she was discovered as an eight-year-old boy by Dutch filmmaker Hetty Niesch and filmed until the age of seventeen as part of a documentary on transgender youth. After under going gender reassignment surgery in 2007, de Hingh was scouted by a modelling agent. The willowy beauty made her runway debut in the Spring 2008 shows, walking for Maison Martin Margiela and Comme des Garcons."


" Isis King (formerly Darrell Walls) gained notoriety for being the first trans woman to compete on America’s Next Top Model. She’s since appeared on The Tyra Banks Show and in Seventeen and US Weekly.
  **See photo in the "Den".

English model Carolina Cossey is one of the world's most well known transsexual women. She had an extras role in the 1981 James Bond film For Your Eyes Only, which prompted tabloid News of the World to come out with a front page headline that read "James Bond Girl Was a Boy”, and was the first trans woman to pose for Playboy. She’s also modelled for Australian Vogue and Harper's Bazaar.


The next selection is Roberta Close.
Note** Roberta Close was the first pre-operative transsexual model  to pose for the Brazilian edition of Playboy magazine. After undergoing gender reassignment surgery in 1989, Close posed nude for a Brazilian men's magazine called Sexy and was voted "Most Beautiful Woman in Brazil”.





 







The next selection is Claudia Charriez.
In 2008, Charriez was kicked off of America's Next Top Model and The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency TV shows. She went on to win the America's Next Top Transsexual Model contest on The Tyra Banks Show later that year. See her pix at Trannsnation!

I also posted the photo of the beautiful Sri Lankan model Chamila Asanka was an up-and-comer at last year’s Miss International Queen pageant, an annual transgender beauty competition held in Thailand over at Trannsnation!

Finally in the den is the picture of Florencia de la V who started her career in magazines before picking up a job at Buenos Aires club "Tabaris" and catching the eye of prominent television/theatre producer Gerardo Sofovich. She’s a well-known actress/model in her native Argentina, where she lives with her husband and surrogate conceived twin children.

Indeed a Super Top Ten!!!!

More Good Vibes From Ru Paul

"Honorary Trans Nazi in Male Drag"

It seems one of my all time favorite performers "Ru Paul" has drawn an Estrogen line in the sand on his "Drag Race Show"
If you really care "William Belli" was recently kicked off the show for "undisclosed" reasons.
The only relevant part of the whole affair was some of the fallout which helped to recognize differences in our cultures in the "Huffington Post".

"Last week's episode of RuPaul's Drag Race promised to be the "most shocking episode ever." Viewers learned, after watching two drag queens compete in the "lip sync for your life" elimination round, that neither contestant would be disqualified. Instead, one of the other Season 4 contestants, Willam (Belli) was disqualified for breaking the rules."

"William Belli"

"While it's been advertised that we'll have to wait for this season's reunion special of RuPaul's Drag Race to find out exactly what went down, this hasn't stopped fans from creating speculative theories. Whether it was promiscuity, drugs, or behavior, Willam's departure can be used as catalyst for a larger discussion on tensions between the worlds of gay men in drag and female transgender performers. I'm not too concerned about why Willam was eliminated, but I am concerned about certain types of justifications use to explain his dismissal, specifically speculation regarding the use of estrogen or hormone therapy.
To help you locate me in this discussion, I should point out that for the past three years, I've documented the lives of 10 self-identified effeminate gay men for a documentary series called 50Faggots. I've spent a lot of time entrenched in the worlds of individual nightlife personalities and drag queens, as well as having gone out many times in drag myself as a gay man. I believe there is an ongoing undercurrent of different privileges, benefits, and consequences for both gay drag queens and trans female impersonators when individuals perform in specific nightlife venues. In the controlled, television space of RuPaul's Drag Race, there is an expectation that these performers should identify as gay men, and that has allowed for certain assumptions about what differentiates a gay man from a transgender woman. There seems to be a certain level of criticism attached to the speculation that if Willam was taking estrogen or hormones, then a) he could not identify as a gay man any longer, and b) this would somehow be cheating and giving him an "advantage" over the other contestants.
Well, let's address this. I have a hard time understanding why the idea of estrogen use would be threatening to being a gay man, when in fact, personal identity is a delicate balance of choice, personal representation, and lived experiences. I believe some gay men can take estrogen or be on hormone therapy and still identify as men, just as some trans folks choose not to take hormones at all or refuse body-modification surgery. It would also be ironic if this were the real reason for William's departure when fake breast plates, body modification, and plastic surgery have been openly used by many gay men who commit their careers to drag."

I underlined what I feel to be the most important part of the article.
Now I'm trying to connect the dots between this and "Jenna" the disqualified Miss Canada participant.
If I can!

Quote of the Day

The new midlife crisis. Why get a new woman...become one! -
unknown