Michelle's Maintenance

 Recently I wrote a post here in Cyrsti's Condo revolving around the concept women are definitely the high maintenance gender. Being the hard headed person I am, it took me years to learn exactly that. As my wife at the time kept referring to me as the "pretty, pretty princess" in my makeup heels and hose, no amount of feminine presentation could help me to understand exactly what she meant. It wasn't until years later as I seriously started my Mtf gender transition did I understand.

Let's check in with Michelle and her feelings on the subject:

"I see that you, as well as so many of us have discovered, that being a woman requires many years of life lessons learned while growing up.

Females start very early in life learning so many skills, that men would never even think of, like communication, relationships, mannerisms and dealing with the trials and tribulations of dealing with the female body. It's one thing to learn how to apply makeup and clothes styles but women don't really get those lessons till early in their teens. Women start early learning that the somewhat care and feeding of their bodies will follow them throughout life.

Men on the other hand only deal with learning to (as my partner once put it) grunt, fart and learn how to somewhat intimidate the people they come in contact with. For women, life's lessons are almost harder in the long run then men will ever know.

Women have to learn, starting very early, how to deal with so many aspects of their bodies and minds that can be both scary as well as rewarding. Men on the other side of the coin only have to learn only what puberty brings them. It's more of a one shot deal for men. Women have to deal with it all their lives. "

Thanks for the comment!

I have always thought cis women have precious little time to design their lives around their bodies. After all. girls go through puberty earlier than boys to face years of having babies and monthly periods before their bodies then go through menopause. Through it all, women face the lack of gender privilege which men take for granted. 

Again, thanks for the very perceptive comment. 

For the First Time in Nevada

 A transgender woman has won Miss Silver State USA.

Kataluna Enriquez, 27, started competing in transgender pageants in 2016 when she worked as a model. She began to competing in cis gender pageants at the beginning of last year advocating for inclusivity, diversity and representation. 

Of course her face and body haven't hurt her!

Gender is NOT a Game

 If you live in the United States, you would have to be living in a cave somewhere to escape the deluge of state legislation against transgender athletes'. 

Of course, reportedly all of this legislation is originating with one ultra conservative organization. Thus these legislative members around the country all have a template (so to speak) to formulate their "own" bills.

More than likely, the vast majority of these legislators have never met a transgender woman or trans man and have no understanding of our lives.  Most certainly too, none of them have taken the time to research the effects of hormone replacement therapy on the body. 

I probably am not the best example of HRT on a person's body because I transitioned later in life during my sixties. When I did transition and my muscle mass began to change, I learned quickly how much of my old male strength had disappeared.  I can only imagine how the process would work for an trans athlete. 

One way or another, perhaps the most ridiculous idea is transgender athletes are transitioning just to compete at an advantage. Missing the entire dilemma changing gender presents to the person going through it. The specter of increased mental illness  all the way to heightened levels of suicide among the transgender community is never taken into consideration.

Gender is definitely not a game to the transgender athletes facing legislative discrimination by people unwilling to see the big picture for what it is. The big picture is the old binary gender rules aren't working anymore.

People need to wrap their narrow minds around the fact transgender athletes as well as the trans community as a whole need understanding, not discrimination.

The High Maintenance Gender

 As I began my transition years ago into a full time feminine world, I learned the hard way what I suspected all along. Being a woman would prove to be infinitely more difficult than I thought it would be.

 Most certainly in my cross dressing days, I did learn the basics of looking like a woman but as my wife always told me, I really didn't know anything about being a woman. In fact, one of our fights ended up in her telling me I would make a terrible woman. She later went on to explain to me her statement had nothing to do with how I looked.

What she didn't take into consideration was all the years I had studied all women so intently. Including the time I worked in a predominately woman dominated business. So all I had to do was to step up my game even farther. 

I am fond of pointing out my first  major learning experience in my male to female gender transition came as I learned how women communicate between themselves often by using visual cues more than the straight forward ones used by men. I tied my experiences in with a couple I already knew. Women operate on a passive aggressive basis and are more apt to form cliques rather than teams men form. 

The more I was able to get out and try to live a feminine life, I found out my wife was right and I changed.  To make matters worse, she passed away before she ever had a chance to see my transition.

So, applying the makeup and picking the perfect outfit is gratifying all the way to being fun, is all still icing on the cake.

Being able to reinvent yourself as your authentic self is so deeply satisfying. Proving once again living the layered life of a woman proves you belong in the sandbox of the high maintenance gender. 

Standing Up to be Counted

 Recently, the United States Senate heard discussions based on passing the "Equality Act."  Amazingly, the only transgender person there to argue for the passage was 16 year old Stella Keating. (below)

Keating comes from near where Connie lives in Washington state (Tacoma). A state where she is legally protected from discrimination but as she pointed out, what if she decided to go to college in a state where she wasn't protected. Adding, "How is that even American?" 

My only question is why was Sheila the only transgender person there? What happened to all those national organizations which are always asking for my support or money???

On the other hand, we need all the bright, brave and young trans voices we can get to further the transgender cause.

Another Step Closer

 My partner Liz and I crossed another milestone recently when she secured a time for her first Covid vaccine. Her date is coming up Monday. 

When she completes both of her vaccinations, it means we are a giant step closer to being able to venture out again in the public's eye. Most importantly to me, I will have the chance to see my daughter and three grandkids again. 

Liz and I from Christmas party two years ago. I loved it when her heels made her taller than me!

Also, I will have the opportunity to interact with the public as a transgender woman. Looking ahead, I wonder how many lessons I will have to relearn, if any.  Interestingly, Liz has been indicating she wants to "experiment" with my hair and make up, which she has never dome in our past. In her past, she dabbled in being an Avon cosmetic person and I have settled into a real makeup routine which may need some updating. Truthfully, my "routine" has become wearing less and less makeup. I still rely on my nightly skin care routine and exfoliation when I shave to get me by. Of course now makeup is less important when a mask covers a significant part of your face anyhow.

My problem is too that in my quest to be a "natural" woman, I have a tendency to revert back to looking more like my old male self. Even though a feminized version due to the hormone replacement therapy I have been on. 

As always I have set my expectations too high as far when we can begin to rejoin society again. 

I am sure I will experience no major lifestyle changes. I just want to return to somewhat the same existence I enjoyed before. You notice I wrote "somewhat."

Another Transgender First

 "Leyna Bloom" has become the first transgender woman of color to  be featured in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue.

Leyna is an American actress, model, dancer and activist. The Swimsuit issue is not her first big feature as she was the first openly transgender woman of color to appear in Vogue India.

Coming Soon

 

FYI, the email you see is my other email under my legal name which I changed nearly five years ago. 

It's another story I will get into in another blog post.

I will send out this reminder again as we get closer to the presentation which is part of the Trans Ohio Transgender Month of Visibility.

Close to Home

 

Diamond :Kyree' Sanders, a black transgender woman  has been murdered here in Cincinnati, Ohio. She was only 23 and loved fashion and travel. 

While detectives did consider whether the incident could have been a hate crime, a Cincinnati Police Department spokesperson said the force now believes the killing “had nothing to do with the victim’s lifestyle”. .Her cellphone and purse were stolen. 

This is yet another example of how careful we need to be as we lose our male privileges as we transition into a feminine world.