Just Thinking

 This morning, as I looked over my email feeds, I wondered aloud to Liz about how many cis women and cross dressers still support a certain person in Washington and more importantly who he has nominated to fill Justice Ginsberg's spot on the Supreme Court. 

You know the two I am writing about. One is trying to erase all transgender women and men totally, while the other in the future could vote to change everything for women from abortion rights to same sex marriage. 

I can understand why most cross dressers don't care. You see them all the time commenting on Facebook. They can stay in their closets, live as privileged men and not care anything concerning the overall transgender community. 

Cis women, I have a harder time understanding. They must have short memories and/or no knowledge of history. It wasn't so long ago they couldn't even vote or had to fight for any control of their own bodies. 

Maybe it because transgender women have had to go through a major struggle to even arrive where we are, it makes sense we should care more. 

Perhaps now you are thinking what have I done to further the cause. I don't have the financial resources to do much but I have managed to donate small amounts of money to Amy McGrath in Kentucky who is running against Moscow Mitch McConnell and Jamie Harrison who is running against tRump supporter Lindsey Graham. I also have been involved with Equality Ohio trying to convince the republican legislature in Ohio to vote a fairness bill which would cover all of the LGBTQ community including transgender people. I called the new Ohio Speaker of the House last night to express my support.

Most importantly, my vote has been sent in. 

At the least, I want to tell my Grandkids I tried! 

Rest in Power Monica

 A true transgender pioneer, activist and blogger has passed away. Recently the body of Monica Roberts was found in the parking lot of an apartment complex.

She passed from an unspecified "medical emergency" according to a Houston police statement. 

Roberts (above) a native of Houston, launched her award-winning TransGriot blog in 2006 as a forum for transgender people of color. It became one of the first blogs to identify transgender homicide victims using their correct gender identity and names. Last year, Roberts told The Daily Beast that she took on the task because “I got tired of them being disrespected in death.”

I remember ten years ago when I first began blogging, Monica Roberts was already an established transgender person of color in the field. 

She will be missed. Rest in Power!

A Busy Morning on the Computer

 Thanks to the virus, almost all of my interaction these days comes through my Cyrstih@yahoo.com email plus comments here to the blog or on Facebook. 

This morning I received a couple of pleasant surprises. The biggest one was finding out I was one of the nominee's for the Greater Dayton Rainbow Alliance veterans awards. Needless to say I was humbled and flattered. Along the way too, I had to reach way back in my rusty noggin to remember some of the service details they asked for. I had to pull back facts from the 1972-1975 days I was in the Army during the Vietnam War. The organization wanted to know such things as awards I received, rank etc. I knew I had four award medals to wear on my uniform but I even had to Google Viet era military medals to see what they were called. Bottom line was with a little help from Google, I was able to shake off the dust and answer the questions. 

The other significant happening this morning was when I was confirmed for a virtual conference on LGBTQ aging later on in October in close by Dayton, Ohio. I even will receive a small book for going. Of course I will pass along any relevant details to all of you!

Finally, of less significance but no less importance is the school group (10th grade) which is forming a LGBTQ group. They have asked for outside help and I responded. Now the big question is, will there be school at all due to rising virus case concerns. Or, will it all go on line. The good news is that so far my advanced age hasn't scared them off. 

I can only say, now I need a nap!

Coming Out Day and Safety

 Another LGBTQ coming out day has come and gone. Surely, it is for those of us who have been out and living a full time transgender life  for years, easy to say just get out of the closet and do it. 

Realistically though, there is so much to consider to do it. There are family and financial considerations to encounter and work your way through. And normally  this is just the beginning of a coming out process. If you are a transgender woman or a trans man, you have to figure out the intricate nature of transforming your physical self the world sees so it syncs up with your inner gender self. Ideally, once you accomplish all of that, your life will become better. For some, many expensive, painful procedures and operations follow just to help accomplish the gender syncing process.

Of course there is another important lesson to learn when you transition into the feminine world. You lose your male privilege. When I first transitioned, I learned the hard way. I lost some of my basic intelligence and that was the easy part. I was lucky in I escaped the physical dangers I encountered when I ignored the fact I wasn't a guy anymore. I have written before here in Cyrsti's Condo about the night I was nearly over powered by an over zealous admirer all the way to the night I was caught walking down the the street late at night in a downtown urban environment by two guys wanting money. 

All of this leads me to the most sobering truth of this post. As of now, over thirty transgender women (that we know of) have been killed this year. In the USA alone.

All of the statistics point to the fact when you enter the feminine world, you have to learn quickly what cis women know...be careful out there!    

Inspiration

 As Cyrsti's Condo is firmly entrenched in it's tenth year of existence and with over 6,000 posts, finding new topics to explore becomes increasingly difficult. It's during this time I aggressively seek outside sources for ideas. 

Recently, I found this quote which describes many of the early experiences I went through as I explored the feminine world as a cross dresser earlier in life. This was before I transitioned into a fully functioning transgender woman.

Every once in a while though, I encounter the occasional novice transgender person who thinks I magically arrived where I am now with very few problems. All of that couldn't be farther from the truth.

Like so many others who encountered gender dysphoria during their life, I seemingly had to go through so many self destructive times which I could write a whole new post about. In other words, I felt the fear and did it anyway...the wrong way. 

I was fortunate though in that I was able to grasp a couple of things which helped to to get by and even succeed.

The first of which was being able to begin HRT (hormone replacement therapy) which at my age wasn't a given. I had to have the good health to do it. Essentially what happened to me outside of the obvious was the feminine pronouns took the male edge off of me. I became easier to get along with. 

The second of which was when I encountered a series of cis women who welcomed me into their circle and I was able to learn more completely how to exist in a feminine world. 

Overall, this phrase became my mantra and I have been able to succeed. I never take it for granted. 

 

Internalized Transphobia

 From Connie and indirectly Emma, we received this comment on the blog post "Saying Hello":

" I think Emma hit on the main answer by referring to "Internalized Transphobia." Through our own insecurity, we can often project it on to others. When I first presented my feminine-self to the outside world, it was in association with a trans (mostly cross dresser) group. I quickly learned the rules of trans engagement, and one of the top rules was: Whenever two or more are gathered, the chances for being outed are exponentially increased. Especially when we are out by ourselves, as when shopping, we are often very much aware and self-conscious about being outed. As upsetting as it may be to out oneself (as by the sound of our voice, for example), it would be not-so-cool to press another trans person into a situation that could be upsetting to themselves.

I run across trans women quite frequently when I'm out and about. Even though I am so much more secure with myself than I used to be, even seeing another trans woman is a reminder of my own gender identity and dysphoria. If we should make eye contact, I normally just flash a friendly smile (now hidden behind my N-95 Covid mask, unfortunately), just as I would with anyone else. It's like being stopped at a four-way-stop intersection when the drivers aren't sure who was there first, and who should make the first move. Of course, there have also been instances where the other person made a concerted effort to avoid me by making a u-turn (something I've never experienced with a cis woman). Years ago, while I was doing a job making late-night deliveries in a small business district , I spotted a young trans woman at an ATM across the street . We were the only people around, and I guess my gaze was a bit obvious. She responded with an enthusiastic flip of the bird. Actually, my only thought was that of admiration for being out at such a young age, but she didn't know that. We were being influence by each of our internalized transphobias.

I might note here that I have met with Emma once. We had a pleasant happy hour meeting in a busy downtown lounge. Although I don't think either of us were too much under the influence of transphobia, I remember thinking to myself afterward that we could have talked a lot more about something other than being trans. Perhaps, we'll meet again some day, without the Covid masks - or the trans masks, either. ;-)"

I think too, so many transgender women or cross dressers are so desperately trying to "present" they don't want to be recognized and this results in "internalized transphobia " too.

Thanks for the thoughtful comment!

Transgender Activist in Starring Role

 Trans activist Shakina Nayfact is making history again as she lands a starring role in the new NBC comedy The show which is called "Connecting" will be on Thursday nights. Nayfact (below) is making history as the first transgender regular on a prime time television show. Here is a brief description from the "Advocate" : 

"On the topic of her history-making role, Nayfack placed it in the larger context of the transgender movement. "It feels like a huge honor and a huge responsibility to get right," she said. "And also, I think it is a benchmark in a process of social change that so many other trans artists have forged alongside me and ahead of me. I like to stay away from the narratives of like, you know, 'first achievement' and think more about the legacy that we are building together as a community of trans actors fighting for representation for the rest of us out in the world."

However, in a time when few Hollywood productions are being made due to the pandemic, and in an election season to boot, Nayfack acknowledged how special it was to have a trans character represented.

"I look at Connecting as one of the first shows to be made amid the crisis of COVID-19. And one of the seven series regulars on that show is a trans woman," she said. "So that's really exciting to me because we're already guaranteed admission. We're here. We're inside the theme park. So let's go on some rides."

Perhaps some day we will come to the point where we don't have to point out an actor or actress is transgender at all!

Saying Hello

 Have you ever encountered another person in public whom you considered to be transgender or a cross dresser? Have you tried to strike up a conversation or just walked the other way. Perhaps later you regretted your decision. In the pre-covid days of my life, it wasn't totally uncommon for me to see a person who triggered my "trans-dar."

Overall. except for one occasion when I encountered another transgender person I knew well, I can say I never spoke up and tried to start a conversation. Why? Mainly because I was afraid of embarrassing myself if the person wasn't trans. The only other alternative I had was focusing in on and commenting on a particular aspect of a person's presentation.(such as a handbag or earrings) Of course if I was at the market and I encountered the rare overdressed woman, I automatically thought she was a cross dresser. More interesting was the night Liz and I went to a New Years Eve performance of the Cincinnati Orchestra in music hall where all the women were dressed to the nines. Including me. The occasion was early in my coming out days and I was scared to death. 

Along the way, I recently received another comment from "Emma" concerning her thoughts  on encountering another transgender person:

" I've often walked away from an encounter with another trans person asking myself why we didn't simply talk about something else - just as we would have with a cis person." Yes! It's just over three years since I started my transition. The first couple of years were so focused on being trans, dealing with my shame and fears, yes, a couple of surgeries. Lots of internal transphobia. But these days I hardly think about it. I think it comes down to self-acceptance and love, recognizing that we are as normal as anyone else. Sure, some of our characteristics are a bit rare, but so is being left handed, blue-eyed, or whatever. Je suis comme je suis: I am what I am. After over a half century on this planet I am excited about my life."

Thanks for the comment Emma! Nice to hear of your excitement. :) 

Transgender Gold...Bond

From "Cheddar" and  Mike Nam

"Actress Laverne Cox, perhaps best known for her role on the Netflix hit Orange Is the New Black, has partnered with skincare brand Gold Bond on the new marketing campaign #ChampionYourSkin and is using the platform to highlight the transgender community and the non-profit Trans Wellness Center in California.

"Trans folks, just by being ourselves, are skin champions," said Cox.(above) "We go out into the world and face all kinds of discrimination, all kinds of violence, and, sort of, attempts to invalidate who we are."

Cox touted the work of the Trans Wellness Center amid such damaging obstacles. The Los Angeles-based center, established in a collaboration between six local organizations, provides help with housing, employment, and health care for transgender people.

"Our unemployment rate is three times the national average, four times that for trans people of color, and so employment referrals are things that you can get at the Trans Wellness Center, which is so important," she said.

Cox also made the case that people who wish to help the transgender community should donate to organizations like the Trans Wellness Center. She explained that, while national groups do important work, funding local organizations that directly affect people's lives is critical."

For more, go here.