Are There More Trans People?

Sometimes it seems to me there are more transgender women and men these days.

I back up my theory with two reasons. The first is due to the impact of social media and the internet. I still am amazed about the amount of material I run into as I research possible blog topics. Of course, at my age, I go way back to the days of Virginia Prince and her Transvestia Magazine being nearly the only sources of information for novice transvestites. Now of course, there are nearly too many outlets to mention where you can find information on trans people, 

Janet Mock

As an example, I just Googled "transgender" and received 173 million results. One of which one of the top trans activists Janet Mock. Indeed we have come along way!

Another example I can use is Angela Ponce who we featured a couple days ago here in Cyrsti's Condo.  She competed in Miss Universe in 2018 as Miss Spain. I can only imagine some of the feminine back stabbing going on behind the scenes with such a gorgeous contestant competing who was also transgender.

My second reason is an extension of the first. Overall, we are so much more visible because we all have a better idea we are not alone. Plus, as we have pointed out in the blog, it is increasingly easier to carve yourself out a place in the world.

So, there are probably not more transgender people in the world. Just more who are visibly finding their way.  No longer do we have to worry about transitioning and disappearing.

None of this though takes anything away from how difficult a gender transition can be. Let's not forget how gender dysphoria can tear away at a soul and how the whole process of learning another gender can tear relationships (family) and employment apart. 

Maybe, just maybe, if there are more trans people, they can have a chance to be happier.

Integration

Every once in a while I giggle (to my self) when I notice one of the cross dressers I happen to be around becoming a little too "outgoing" with an outfit or actions. I add "to my self" because in the past I have gotten into trouble with my thoughts. Why?

Years ago, I was told by my deceased wife I didn't have any real idea of what being a woman was all about. All I wanted to do was to be the "pretty, pretty princess."  You know what? She was right.

My disclaimer here is...it's fine to be the pretty princess but don't think it is representative of living in society full time as a transgender woman. It just isn't.

Fortunately these days, there are many paths opening up which can aid your integration into mainstream society.

Both Paula and Connie have comments.

From Paula:

"I fear that all too many of us spend way too much time with other trans people. I didn't go through all this so I could join an exclusive club! I want to enjoy my life as a woman out in general society; making music with my friends, watching some Rugby and just generally getting on with life."

I agree, I know now I spend the majority of my "social" time with non trans people. 

And now from Connie:

"I would encourage anyone who wants to put themselves in the mainstream to find a Meetup group in their area. Just about any subject or activity that may interest you has a group you can join. The first one I joined was a women's dine-out group. I messaged the organizer, beforehand, just to let her know that I was trans. She thanked me and said that it was OK with her. I did then ask her to not tell the others, because I wanted to attend without any preconceived notions. I proceeded by joining other groups that were not gender-specific. There are lgbtq groups, as well, but I avoid them. I would rather come across another member of the lgbtq community among a mainstream group. Over the years, there has been only one woman who objected to my being a part of the group. She expressed this to the organizer, who told her not to attend if she didn't like being in the same room with a trans woman. Her loss, not mine!

Volunteering is a great way to find acceptance within a group. Kandi tells of many experiences she has through volunteering in her Kandi's Land blog. I've not done as much volunteering as I'd like, but it's not because I'm worried about my trans status - maybe a little laziness, though.

Finding a job may be more difficult than working one, but I don't think there has been anything more affirming than gaining the trust and appreciation of an employer, not to mention that I work totally integrated with the public.

The day I made the decision to live totally as my true-self, I did just that. Part of that decision was that I needed to stop doubting myself, if I were to expect anyone else to not doubt me. Of course, I was totally cognizant that some may doubt my womanhood, but the onerous is on them to either accept me or stay away; I exist, and I have the same right to be anywhere and do anything as do they.

There is a process involved in getting oneself to be confident enough to begin a transition, but I think that, unless one is willing to jump in all-the-way, the transition (at least, socially) may be unnecessarily fraught with pitfalls. I enjoy living in the mainstream now. All I can say is: Jump on in; the water's fine! :-)"

"Meet Up" groups are a great way to go! Liz and I have been to many. I have only been refused once. To a lesbian only group. Like you said, their loss, not mine. 

Plus, while I am on the subject of you (Connie), here is your picture from a decade ago!

Angela Ponce

Miss Universe Spain 2018, transgender woman Angela Ponce:

Ghost Hunting

Liz and I went back to Roh's Opera House in Cynthiana, Kentucky Saturday night for another ghost hunting adventure. If you are a fan, you may know Cynthiana is the home of the "Walking Dead" television show writers.

The Opera House itself is an interesting blend of spirits, for the most part positive which is why I like to go there. Staying up all night is another story. It normally takes me a couple days to regain my equilibrium. In fact, I ended up missing one of the cross dresser-transgender support group meetings I go to.

I will be making up for that by going to the Christmas party with Liz this year. It is the only evening I really concentrate on getting all dressed up for.

Of course, Saturday night was all casual, with jeans and tennis shoes. I also like to go because I automatically get addressed by all the right pronouns. During four trips with the group, I have only had to correct one guy...once.

For all of you who want to become more accomplished in the world as a transgender woman (or cross dresser) you may want to consider joining a group of civilians and establishing yourself. By civilians I mean a group that has other interests in mainstream society.

The best example I can think of is a cross dresser in the group I am part of. I have never heard her refer to herself as transgender and is close to 80 years old. As a woman she is a deacon of her church and serves on the board of directors of the Cincinnati Reds baseball team women's auxiliary. She is simply amazing.

Others I could mention are Connie who works as her true self, Paula the musician and Mandy the traveler. I am sure they would all agree, it is a process and something normally doesn't happen over night.

As far as my overnight experience went, I wasn't miss-gendered by a spirit. So I guess it was a success.

Laverne Cox Has been Busy!

Perhaps you have noticed the ultra gorgeous transgender woman Laverne Cox on any of the Smirnoff Vodka holiday television commercials.

As I understand it, this is actually the second year she (Laverne) has been in Smirnoff commercials. The brand also happens to be a big LGBTQ supporter.

In addition to her commercials, Laverne has been named beauty ambassador for the Matrix hair product line.

What a great ambassador she has become for transgender women everywhere!

Non Binary Future?

Rain Dove just may represent the androgynous future of human gender:

The Essence of being Transgender

This week I had an appointment with the doctor who prescribes my bi-polar medications. She is normally very pleasant, business like and the visit only lasts approximately 15 minutes.

On this day though, she had a student with her and I guess needed the extra time with me.  I am happy to say I haven't had many problems with depression or anxiety lately. She surprised me when she brought up my Mtf gender dysphoria being a factor in feeling better. Undoubtedly I said it was.

Then she questioned dysphoria as being a part of the essence of being transgender. About this time, I noticed the student staring intently at me waiting for an answer. Sensing a time to educate two civilians, I used part of my time to explain my problems with gender dysphoria during my life. Quickly I decided  trying to reflect totally on the true essence of being transgender would have bored everyone in the room. Plus, the truth of the matter is all of our essences are different. An example would be, we have two new attendee's in our support group who are just coming out of the closet. Just think of all the exciting yet terrifying times ahead for them.

I also told her the experiences I have had recently with compliments on my hair. And how Thanksgiving for me was a time to step back and reflect on the good things in my life.

Finally, I pointed out I haven't had any extreme surgery and aside from my HRT hormone regimen, what you see of me is what you get. Even though it has literally been years since I have received any negative feedback from the public, I still have a tinge of paranoia in certain situations and probably will have till I die.

In order to wrap this up as simply as I can, I feel the essence of being transgender is living with the knowledge of being on both sides of the gender fence. As my doctor said this week, undoubtedly I have seen a tremendous amount of living in my life.

Over the years, recently I have come to appreciate it!

Another Transgender First!

A 24-year-old woman named Hera Jay Brown has been announced as the first out trans woman ever to be named as a Rhodes Scholar during its 117-year history.

The Rhodes Scholarship is a prestigious post-graduate award that pays for two years of study at Oxford University in England. Rhodes Scholars can also get additional research grants and are generally regarded as some of the world’s foremost academics seeking to do good in the world.

From 2010

By accident I just found this ancient picture of me from all the way back in 2010. Again in one of my favorite wigs.

The more I started to go out to the same places though, the more I found the need to settle down to one basic look. The public needed to see me the same way to give me positive feedback in my Mtf gender transition.

Some of you long time readers of the Cyrsti Condo blog may remember.