As we transgender women (and cross dressers too) go through life attempting to cross the gender frontier, there comes a point when you can "tip" the gender balance.
As we move down the path, often we learn the more we know, the more we need to learn.
Examples would be, as novices, we strive to perfect a feminine "illusion" thinking it will be enough to sustain our gender desires. Then we find, no matter how good the illusion looks, nothing is good enough. You have to move around and even create another persona to exist.
The more serious you become about succeeding in a feminine lifestyle, the more you learn about the razor thin "gender tipping point." Studies indicate fellow humans make gender decisions within a matter of seconds.
Getting better and better has to become an obsession to succeed. I always read with some humor a negative person who thinks no cis men can ever do the work to become a convincing woman. Do they not want to do the weight and skin work, not to mention the makeup and fashion expertise which is needed? Any cis woman would tell you the same thing. Being a woman is definitely being the high maintenance gender.
Visualize if you will, a transgender person jumping up and down on a teeter totter. After a while some (quicker than others) will learn moving up the board to the center is a more effective way of getting where you want to go.
All of a sudden, you feel natural as your chosen gender and you start to reach out for better hair, voice, or whatever you feel makes you feminine.
As the teeter totter begins to flip your way, you begin to feel more and more natural and life can become better than you ever thought.
Sometimes though,we slip and fall off the "trans teeter" and it is extremely painful to try again. As with anything else which is worth it though, the ups and downs of your ride can be worth it as you live your new life.
Thursday, May 3, 2018
Wednesday, May 2, 2018
A New Boob?
We received several comments concerning recent posts I have decided to pass along here in Cyrsti's Condo. One of which center around vocal feminisation for transgender women:
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" The VA in some situations will provide one wig and one set of breast forms a year." This made me chuckle. Do they pass them out the same way you got your government issued uniform and other necessities when you went to basic training? I wonder just what kind of wig and breast forms they'd supply. :-)
Seeing yourself as you practice your voice is important. You need to combine the non-verbal communication with the vocal. I made videos of myself so I could analyze it later, because I learned a long time ago that what I might have thought I was seeing in the mirror was not necessarily what was really there!" - As I understand it, the VA will pass out the breast forms through their "Prosthetic" Department. The VA also has a very active "Women's Health" department, so I'm sure the program originated there. More than likely, the same thing happens with wigs. I will ask "my people!"
- And thanks for sharing the video/mirror idea!
Arrival
First of all, I am pretty much a technologically challenged old geek. Thus, one of the weekend challenges was learning how to navigate around Columbus, Ohio using the Uber car service. After I learned how easy and relatively inexpensive it was, I found I could relax much more seeing as I didn't have to worry about drinking and driving.
Every year, Liz and I make it a point to going to a venue called Club Diversity. It's in a old Victorian style house just south of Downtown Columbus. "Diversity" is unique in that it is owned by a transgender woman and has a truly unique clientele.
Saturday night featured a packed house, made up by gay men, lesbian women, straight couples mixed in with the occasional transgender woman or even a cross dresser or two.
As Liz partook of several of their fabulous martini's, I was able to sip my beer and Jagermeister and survey the room to see who may have been surveying me.
It was fun! I had my usual visual contact with a butch lesbian, all the way to a gay guy who was doing his best not to be too noticeable looking at me. I didn't try to hide any of my narcissistic entertainment from Liz, who finally said "You have arrived." I said yes, Compliments of Uber and a lot of HRT :).
Finally, I wore my fuzzy green sweater and leggings for the evening, which turned out to be unseasonably cool. Jagermeister though, is custom made to warm you up as it originated as a German hunting drink. I first made it a friend when I was in the Army in Germany.
I am riposting a selfie picture I took in the hotel after the trip back. A good time was had by all!
Also, I would be remiss in not writing about our stop for a famous "Thurman's" Hamburger before we went to Diversity. What is amazing to me, is they remember us year after year and we normally end up with the same server. We did well this year, the wait time was only about 45 minutes.
It's time to wrap this post up before I become accused of working for the Columbus Chamber of Commerce!
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| Club Diversity, Columbus, Ohio |
Saturday night featured a packed house, made up by gay men, lesbian women, straight couples mixed in with the occasional transgender woman or even a cross dresser or two.As Liz partook of several of their fabulous martini's, I was able to sip my beer and Jagermeister and survey the room to see who may have been surveying me.
It was fun! I had my usual visual contact with a butch lesbian, all the way to a gay guy who was doing his best not to be too noticeable looking at me. I didn't try to hide any of my narcissistic entertainment from Liz, who finally said "You have arrived." I said yes, Compliments of Uber and a lot of HRT :).
Finally, I wore my fuzzy green sweater and leggings for the evening, which turned out to be unseasonably cool. Jagermeister though, is custom made to warm you up as it originated as a German hunting drink. I first made it a friend when I was in the Army in Germany.
I am riposting a selfie picture I took in the hotel after the trip back. A good time was had by all!
Also, I would be remiss in not writing about our stop for a famous "Thurman's" Hamburger before we went to Diversity. What is amazing to me, is they remember us year after year and we normally end up with the same server. We did well this year, the wait time was only about 45 minutes.
It's time to wrap this post up before I become accused of working for the Columbus Chamber of Commerce!
Tuesday, May 1, 2018
I See Girl!
Saturday was quite the long day, which of course revolved mostly around the Trans Ohio Symposium in Columbus, Ohio.
First of all, we had to get an early shuttle ride from the hotel to the Symposium venue since many streets were going to be closed off for a huge half marathon. So I had to grab a quick breakfast and shake off the party cobwebs from the night before relatively quickly. My workshop was at 10:15. All went well during my presentation and at one point one cis woman said all she saw in me was "girl." Which of course was nice!
During my workshops however, I always have to make the point of the person you see now didn't just happen. She took a lot of work and more error than success and even resulted in me trying one very active suicide as well as several ongoing "passive" attempts. Even though my workshop was sparsely attended I thought, it still went well and I was pleased.
The rest of the day, my partner Liz and I attended other workshops and key note speaker presentations. The Symposium was well attended and set a record this year with over three hundred attendees.
Of course lunch was served as well as a mid afternoon snack, which gave us the time to check out all the "vendor" and organization tables which were set up.
The breakdown of attendees this year seemed to favor more transgender women in various stages of transition and a fewer than normal amount of transgender men.
All too soon the day was over and it was time to take a quick breather before we began the night's activities on our own.
More to come in the next post!
First of all, we had to get an early shuttle ride from the hotel to the Symposium venue since many streets were going to be closed off for a huge half marathon. So I had to grab a quick breakfast and shake off the party cobwebs from the night before relatively quickly. My workshop was at 10:15. All went well during my presentation and at one point one cis woman said all she saw in me was "girl." Which of course was nice!
During my workshops however, I always have to make the point of the person you see now didn't just happen. She took a lot of work and more error than success and even resulted in me trying one very active suicide as well as several ongoing "passive" attempts. Even though my workshop was sparsely attended I thought, it still went well and I was pleased.
The rest of the day, my partner Liz and I attended other workshops and key note speaker presentations. The Symposium was well attended and set a record this year with over three hundred attendees.
Of course lunch was served as well as a mid afternoon snack, which gave us the time to check out all the "vendor" and organization tables which were set up.
The breakdown of attendees this year seemed to favor more transgender women in various stages of transition and a fewer than normal amount of transgender men.
All too soon the day was over and it was time to take a quick breather before we began the night's activities on our own.
More to come in the next post!
Monday, April 30, 2018
Vocal Feminization Ideas
During the Trans Ohio Symposium I was able to hear the workshop presented by the lead transgender veteran liaison person for the Veterans Administration Hospital I go to in Dayton, Ohio.
What did I learn? The VA in some situations will provide one wig and one set of breast forms a year. And more importantly, I should have no problems being referred to a qualified vocal feminiization coach in the near future.
I also sat in on another informative workshop called "Finding Your Feminine Voice."
During the workshop, the presenter mentioned a couple options she used to dramatically improve her voice. She mentioned You Tube videos as a possibility but couldn't remember who she used. So, as with most things on You Tube, usage comes with a built in warning but could be worth exploring. Other options included various tonal apps on your phone. Plus, someone mentioned access to your local educational institutions. Many of them have student intern programs which can be relatively inexpensive.
With any improvement worth working on, practice is very important with voice training. Options mentioned included leaving yourself messages on your email, or answering machine and/or practicing on your laptop so you can see your self as you talk.
Without getting too technical, the presenter said your new voice should originate somewhere in your upper neck area. Using the chest area is what men use and getting too far up into the nasal area will result in a falsetto tone. She (the presenter) also said though, since women vary their vocal patterns more than men, an occasional falsetto type tone isn't all that bad.
Hopefully, a few of these ideas may help you down your own vocal path. When I finally get a vocal therapist appointment, I will keep passing along more ideas.
What did I learn? The VA in some situations will provide one wig and one set of breast forms a year. And more importantly, I should have no problems being referred to a qualified vocal feminiization coach in the near future.
I also sat in on another informative workshop called "Finding Your Feminine Voice."
During the workshop, the presenter mentioned a couple options she used to dramatically improve her voice. She mentioned You Tube videos as a possibility but couldn't remember who she used. So, as with most things on You Tube, usage comes with a built in warning but could be worth exploring. Other options included various tonal apps on your phone. Plus, someone mentioned access to your local educational institutions. Many of them have student intern programs which can be relatively inexpensive.
With any improvement worth working on, practice is very important with voice training. Options mentioned included leaving yourself messages on your email, or answering machine and/or practicing on your laptop so you can see your self as you talk.
Without getting too technical, the presenter said your new voice should originate somewhere in your upper neck area. Using the chest area is what men use and getting too far up into the nasal area will result in a falsetto tone. She (the presenter) also said though, since women vary their vocal patterns more than men, an occasional falsetto type tone isn't all that bad.
Hopefully, a few of these ideas may help you down your own vocal path. When I finally get a vocal therapist appointment, I will keep passing along more ideas.
Impresive
By far, the most impressive transgender key note speech and workshop I have ever attended, happened Saturday at The Trans Ohio Symposium. I was fortunate enough to hear Mara Keisling from the "National Center for Transgender Equality.
Here is her background:
"Mara Keisling is the founder and executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality. Since 2003, she has led organizational and coalition efforts that have won significant advances in transgender equality. As one of the nation’s leading voices for transgender equality, Mara is regularly quoted in major media outlets. A proud Pennsylvanian, Mara received her bachelor’s degree from Pennsylvania State University and did graduate work in American Government at Harvard University."
Why was I impressed? Because Mara, has been working (along with others) tirelessly to protect and further trans rights. She is razor sharp and with her background in Washington, she can speak factually to what we face now and what we will face in the future as transgender citizens in the United States. Under a decidedly hostile administration.
She was surprisingly positive. Pointing out how far we have come and explaining what has to happen to go even further. Unless you have been living in a cave somewhere, you know, mid term elections are rapidly approaching and many key governor positions, as well as Senate and House of Representatives seats are up for grabs. Which (of course) points out the need to get out the vote!
It was comforting for me to see and hear in person such a qualified leader on our side in Washington! Find out more about Mara and the NCTE's work, follow the link above.
Here is her background:
"Mara Keisling is the founder and executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality. Since 2003, she has led organizational and coalition efforts that have won significant advances in transgender equality. As one of the nation’s leading voices for transgender equality, Mara is regularly quoted in major media outlets. A proud Pennsylvanian, Mara received her bachelor’s degree from Pennsylvania State University and did graduate work in American Government at Harvard University."
Why was I impressed? Because Mara, has been working (along with others) tirelessly to protect and further trans rights. She is razor sharp and with her background in Washington, she can speak factually to what we face now and what we will face in the future as transgender citizens in the United States. Under a decidedly hostile administration.
She was surprisingly positive. Pointing out how far we have come and explaining what has to happen to go even further. Unless you have been living in a cave somewhere, you know, mid term elections are rapidly approaching and many key governor positions, as well as Senate and House of Representatives seats are up for grabs. Which (of course) points out the need to get out the vote!
It was comforting for me to see and hear in person such a qualified leader on our side in Washington! Find out more about Mara and the NCTE's work, follow the link above.
Sunday, April 29, 2018
Back Home
Well, our "mini" weekend get away to the Trans Ohio Symposium is over.
A good time was had by all and I learned quite a bit from the presentations which I will be passing along in future Cyrsti's Condo blog posts.
I basically looked at the whole weekend as a transgender overload.
An example was one trans woman who described her time in the closet as a life in a movable prison.
I decided to go ahead and show all of you one of my rare selfies I took Friday night after several "cocktails".
A good time was had by all and I learned quite a bit from the presentations which I will be passing along in future Cyrsti's Condo blog posts.I basically looked at the whole weekend as a transgender overload.
An example was one trans woman who described her time in the closet as a life in a movable prison.
I decided to go ahead and show all of you one of my rare selfies I took Friday night after several "cocktails".
Saturday, April 28, 2018
Day Off
Today, (hopefully) I will be presenting a workshop at the Trans Ohio Symposium and enjoying a mini vacation at a couple of Liz and I's fave venues in Columbus, Ohio.
Tomorrow (Sunday) I hope to show you a couple pictures and let you know how it went!
Tomorrow (Sunday) I hope to show you a couple pictures and let you know how it went!
Friday, April 27, 2018
Parting Shots
Well, my packing is done, including a couple important items I tried to forget...like the tickets of course.
Amazingly enough, Liz and I were able to make it to the Nail Salon early enough this morning to avoid the rush and get our nails done. I opted for the much simpler (and cost effective) basic manicure and color. Liz went with a much fancier acrylic two tone set of nails. All went well within the salon and I was referred to as "Mam" my my manicurist. Only one other cis woman (I assume) gave me much of a side glance, not that I care. But seemingly I do.
Referring to the trip and the resulting workshop presentation at the Trans Ohio Symposium, we received these comments:
Amazingly enough, Liz and I were able to make it to the Nail Salon early enough this morning to avoid the rush and get our nails done. I opted for the much simpler (and cost effective) basic manicure and color. Liz went with a much fancier acrylic two tone set of nails. All went well within the salon and I was referred to as "Mam" my my manicurist. Only one other cis woman (I assume) gave me much of a side glance, not that I care. But seemingly I do.
Referring to the trip and the resulting workshop presentation at the Trans Ohio Symposium, we received these comments:
- "So, you have left the closet, but you don't know how much of it you needed to take with you? Remember that the group on the Minnow went for a three hour tour, but the ladies had enough outfits to last for years on that island!"
- For three years, I would have filled the Minnow by myself!
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I use a spreadsheet to organize what I have to pack!"
- Lol, I'm sure you do :)
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Yes, the usual 'fun' of packing luggage for attending an Event.
I know that 'fun' only too well. It takes me about half an hour to pack for a trip down to my mother's, but for flying to an Event, about an hour." - I am probably on the same schedule, not including "quiet time" to try to figure out ahead of time what I will forget! Like the tickets and reservation information! Thanks to all for the comments!
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Best wishes
Melissa"