Just Say No?

It still amazes me how many "civilians" think being transgender or LGBT at all is a personal choice.

When I look back at over a half a century fighting a part of me that refused to go away, I have always said I wish I had never been born with this gender dysphoria. Life would have been so much easier. Even though I struggled mightily to do it, I was always fairly successful at being a guy. I played sports, dated regularly. did my time in the Army and fathered a child.

None of it did me any good, I could never shake the feeling deep inside that something was really wrong.  In fact (as I have written many times) I am a survivor of one very active and many very passive suicide attempts.

Through it all, I also had the deep feeling I was destined to live on until I solved the problem.

When I did, it was like a huge weight was taken from my shoulders. No longer did I have to think of myself as a transvestite or cross dresser. I was a transgender woman and had been one forever.

Of course, once I arrived at that point, I had to convince the world too. Life became at once exciting and scary. No longer could I conveniently stash my feminine belongings away and re-enter the male world. I was going on HRT and there would be no turning back, even though I told myself I could.

All of a sudden, my life as a trans woman became more natural and I knew I had made the right decision.

Now I am blessed with a partner and friends who accept me for who I am. I just want to let the others know I never had a choice...I had to be this way.

Good News? Really?

I shouldn't have been surprised by the back-lash over Mattis's decision on the future of transgender troops in the military. Many wanted more (including me) but under the current administration, I figured any move in the right direction was a good one.

At the least, the decision to do yet another study buys time to let the court cases involving trans troops work their way through the system and even gives time for a more organized fight in Congress to materialize.

I am a cup half full type of person.

Here is Connie's take: "Well, it's not bad news. I am a bit skeptical, myself. Should a draft be implemented, I guess trans women would still be eligible. But would the government recognize them as women? From the Selective Service website: "Individuals who are born female and changed their gender to male are not required to register. U.S. citizens or immigrants who are born male and changed their gender to female are still required to register." I guess it matters on how badly they need troops."

Since I got drafted during the Vietnam days, I have felt a universal draft should be utilized. Men, women and transgender...no matter. Not everyone would have to serve in the military, but everyone should have to do something to help our country. I am not a fan of our current entitled generations!

Jeni added her displeasure with my post: "

It's definitely pending Bad News, and definitely NOT 'Good News'.
That Mattis is wanting to come up with a way to enforce number 45's ban shows his true opinion on transgender military personnel."

It's very negative to say/think Mattis is automatically trying to find a way to enforce "45's" ban. You seemingly have chosen to ignore the honorable service put in by current/past and future transgender troops.

Thanks for the comments!

  

Good News!

From my Yahoo News Feed:

"WASHINGTON (Reuters) - U.S. Defense Secretary Jim Mattis said on Tuesday current policy regarding transgender personnel serving in the military would remain in place until he advises President Donald Trump on how to implement his directive on a transgender ban.

Mattis said in a statement he would set up a panel of experts serving in the Departments of Defense and Homeland Security to provide recommendations on implementing the ban.

He said he would advise the president after the panel reports it recommendations, and "in the interim, current policy with respect to currently serving members will remain in place."

Trump signed a memorandum on Friday directing the U.S. military not to accept transgender men and women as recruits and halting the use of government funds for sex-reassignment surgeries for active personnel unless the process is already under way."

Hopefully, 45's attempt to throw the transgender troops under the bus to cover up his own shortcomings as a president will fail. The last I noticed, the American military needed all the competent troops it can recruit...transgender or not.

"M
eet 'Sam,' a tra

Just Another LGBT Halloween Story

Most of my Halloween's I have written about here in Cyrsti's Condo, except for a few which have faded from my memory.

One of which occurred in Louisville, Kentucky in the early 1980's.

I acquired a tight faux leather outfit away from my wife's prying eyes knowing I would have to purge it before I went home again from the training trip I was on.

Back in those days, I fashioned hips and buttocks from foam rubber and held them in place with my panty hose. Of course the skirt was very short and my heels three inch high. In advance, I had smuggled my blond wig (known by wife) as well as my shoes into the suitcase and decided to purchase the rest before I went out.

My intention was to go to one straight venue and one gay one, which I did. After gathering my courage, the straight club turned out to be basically finding a corner to stand in, after getting my ass (or the foam rubber) pinched and fondled. I watched for any other "drag" costumes or other men dressed as women but didn't see any. In the years ahead, I basically found it to be the norm.

I quickly became bored and headed for the gay venue, only to learn I was too early for most of the crowd and training or not, I still had to get up relatively early in the morning.

So even less happened in the club.

Even still, I was still able to "celebrate" Halloween in a fun manner! The problem was, in those pre- transgender days, as a cross dresser, I would have to wait a year to do it again.

Blessings

Every once in a while, I have to step back and take a look at the transgender privilege I enjoy (knock on wood.)

An example was Saturday when Liz and I went to a family picnic at my daughter's mother in law's house. As always, I was greeted warmly and no mention was made of any LGBT issues. (Mine.) I even wore my "VA Serves LGBT Veterans" rainbow wrist band.

I am aware having a family which accepts me for who I am is rare and maybe getting rarer in this day and age. Plus, let's not forget, I have a partner who has always perceived me as a woman.

Now, I am not including my only brother's side of the family which doesn't except me at all, but they can go to hell.

Also, Sunday was another one of our Cincinnati Witches Ball meetings, where I am just me to everyone there.

Most certainly, acceptance does wonders for my confidence going forward in life! There is a rainbow in my future :)

A Pleasant Surprise!

Yesterday as Liz and I were doing some quick grocery shopping, we looked up and noticed a transgender woman manager in the store! (Krogers)

Plus, her son works at a Walgreen's which has hired a transgender man at their store. It was interesting as her son was arguing "CeCe" was a girl until Liz pointed out the pronoun guidance words of "he/him" on his name tag.

Sometimes I do believe we have come such a long way as a transgender community, only to have the disappointment of the military trans troop ban slap me back into reality.

Hopefully the courts will be able to win the day!

Can't help but wonder when and if "45" (Rump) will come after the care of trans vets.

Sad.

Mo Minutia

As promised, Connie's comment about eating in public from the Cyrsti's Condo post about transgender women and cross dressers:

"I can pass along a bit of information that might help those who are wanting to develop a more feminine manner of eating. Try eating with the other hand. I'm right handed, but I've had a lot of trouble with my neck and right shoulder, to the point that I have trouble negotiating a forkful of food into my mouth at times. I can't eat soup without some of it dribbling off the spoon and down my chin. So, I have had to retrain myself to use my left hand. In doing so, I have had to be slow and deliberate with each bite, and any shoveling I may have done before just doesn't happen anymore. The best thing about doing this is that, when I do try to eat with my right hand now, I eat the same way as I taught myself to eat with my left hand. Even if you never master eating with the opposite hand, the process of learning and thinking about it can help to create new and better habits.

Speaking of using a knife and fork to eat a hamburger, I did that for the first time many years ago when I was out to an up-class burger place with a trans girlfriend of mine. She, though, just picked up her juicy and messy burger with both hands and devoured it before I was even 1/3 done with mine. I was embarrassed to be seen at the same table with her, and I've never eaten with her again. Of course, my mother demanded proper table manners when I was growing up, and some people were not so lucky, I guess. Don't forget to put your napkin on your lap immediately upon sitting at the table, too. My friend never touched hers until she'd finished her burger - and then she used it more like a washcloth. Talk about messing up your lipstick (and more!)"

Thanks Connie!

What Makes a Girl?

Lately, I have read some mostly unsettling comments concerning the need for genital realignment surgery, and I had to add my two cents, of course.

I'm paraphrasing, but essentially the comments were a variation of the same old ones which said no matter how much surgery one goes through, you are still the same person sexually.

In essence that is true and does make a great argument for transgender women and trans men when you think it through from our angle.

Take me for example. I am not seeking any "bottom surgery" but in my mind, genitals don't make the person anyhow. I still feel like a woman and always have. I just took a different path than most all other cis women to get here.

To be sure, my breasts, full head of hair and softening skin give me the sensual experiences of being feminine and help me to project my true transgender self to the world, but if they were all taken away tomorrow, I wouldn't change.

Plus yesterday, I had one of the rare days when I felt my makeup, clothes and overall appearance were the best I had experienced in a while. Even still, I am the same person gender-wise, a girl. I just aligned all my personal stars for a change.

I still am amazed at the number of people (some of whom went through GRS) who obviously didn't know, or think through the total changes which would occur. Many I think, just wanted a vagina for some sort of an ego trip, not the deep down urges of body/mind alignment. Otherwise, they wouldn't be so bitter about the process.

In this day and age people, transgender or not need to have a better understanding of the differences between sexuality and gender. Especially in the overall LGBT world before they start spouting off about it!

We Got Mail!

First of all, my first trip to the Veterans Administration hospital to have my fluids (blood) checked didn't go as well as planned because my iron was too high for the first time in a year and I had to have a pint drawn. Oh well. I will live, plus the rest of the day went OK as far as stares, etc...even to the point of one of my doctors complimenting me on my appearance. Praise goes a long way :).

Now, on to the mail:

"Emma" commented that these days it is seemingly never a good time to draw the line in the sand with someone who challenges you being transgender. You never know what they may be carrying with them! (weapons). I very much agree!

As far as our Cyrsti's Condo "Transgender Minutia" post went, Paula commented:

"This is valuable advice that I have been trying to pass on to some of my (Cis) female family members for several years, I'm afraid some of them still favour the bulldozer feeding system and consider my idea of manners to be old fashioned and unnecessary.

I was brought up with the maxim "Manners maketh man" but it very much also applied to ladies!"

Indeed Paula! I have a cis woman friend who insists on belching like a teen aged boy where ever we go to eat and blames it on her ulcer. I have known plenty of people with ulcers who can control themselves in public and at least try to act respectful to others.

Mandy commented on chicken wings: "Ain't that the truth about eating chicken wings...of course you'll get to re-do your lipstick, but also much of your facial makeup, as well! (Leaving much of that makeup on your napkin...)

Hugs,

Mandy"

Both Mandy and Paula have very interesting blogs which I have added links to here (as you may have noticed!) thanks girls, plus I have a longer comment from Connie coming up in a future post. Isn't it fun being transgender? Well, at least we are different. Even in the larger LGBT community!