Milestone

This morning was a milestone of sorts in my transgender Mtf transistion. It was the second time I voted with my bright and shiny (almost) feminine drivers license (I.D.) here in Ohio.

To seemingly finish the moment off with an exclamation point was when I waited for a second to hold a door open for another woman coming in the polling spot. She said "Thank you Ma'am."

Doing my duty as an American citizen couldn't have gone better!

Safe Haven

Once a month I try to attend a group dedicated to providing safe havens for anyone who may need them- from LGBTQ to beyond. People dealing with drug, weight, abuse and cutting problems to name a few.

I have a tendency to show up at the meetings with a chip on my shoulder of sorts. Sure, growing up transgender was no piece of cake, but few lives are. It seems my heart has been broken almost every meeting. Why do I go? It seems (unless there is a transgender speaker), I am the lone transgender regular to make an appearance.

What I would like to see is a Native American Indian representative talk about the faded influence of twin or two spirited individuals in the tribal systems. If you aren't familiar, "Two Spirit" is not interchangeable with "LGBT Native American" or "Gay Indian";^[2] this title differs from most western, mainstream definitions of sexuality and gender identity in that it is not so much about whom one sleeps with, or how one personally identitfies; rather, it is a sacred, spiritual and ceremonial role that is recognized and confirmed by the Elders of the Two Spirit's ceremonial community."

So far, I have not been able to hear such a person and my friends of Native American Indian descent have very little knowledge of the history. 

There is a small TV cable channel called Vice now in it's fourth year. On it's "Gaycation" series, they mentioned several transgender issues, including "two spirit" individuals. Who are crucial to any study of trans history.

All any of us can do is try to influence what we can. Even the "repeat" Halloween appearence can trigger positive responses from co-workers. (Oh!, she (you) could be one of those!) Plus, being one of 'those' to the average cis-woman is not a bad thing-unless you are her 'man.' 

So, safe spaces are tough to come by and the holidays make the situation even worse. If you have the chance to help...please do.

Where Did She Go?

I haven't been able to post much lately due to continuing technology issues...so here we go.

Not much has happened since the last time we communicated except I finally got my hair colored and not another DIY (do it yourself) job. Liz did it this time and I went with a dark burgundy red.  Just the confidence I gained back was unbelievable!

Also (finally) it is election day tomorrow. Although I am not seeking to change your mind, I just can't vote for a man who repeatly dispected women over the years at a time when abuse to my sisters is increasing. Since I am in Ohio, a key election state, I certainly won't miss this chance to vote my mind and even though I have voted for a third party candidate in my past, I can't risk a chance my vote would be wasted.  Enough said!

On a lighter note, we are having a spectacular (!) fall around here and hope you are too. Halloween has come and gone with a chance for many cross dressers/possible transgender women to show their true colors. The best example is "Stana" over at Femulate who number one looks great and brings her looks to work with her every Halloween!

I never did get out to the second big Witches Ball Halloween party we had planned to go to so I have the fond memories of the first one to fall back on.

Since Fall has officially arrived, it's time for me to think about picking up another pair of boots for the season and beyond. Always a good time and I am having breakfast with my very busy and supportive daughter this week, so life is good.

As I said, not much exciting is happening. In so many ways, I have reached my own version of stealth without thinking about it.

Model Arisce Wanzer is on the cover of the new issue of Spiegel, an American retail catalog, making her the first transgender model to grace the 111-year-old magazine's cover.

Wanzer is also one of the transgender models profiled on the Strut series.

Valentina Sampaio

Models getting their own magazine cover these days is exceedingly rare and (Karlie Kloss might be pretty but the Kardashians sell copies), but Valentina Sampaio fronts ELLE Brazil’s November issue. 

So what makes this woman whose last name isn’t Hadid or Jenner worthy of such an honor? While Sampaio’s beauty is remarkable, the cover is important for another reason: it marks another small step for diversity in the fashion industry because Sampaio is a transgender woman. The 19-year-old’s latest shoot is just the latest contribution to the fashion industry’s efforts to be more gender inclusive. 

Halloween Archive Post (2014)

As I look back over the years on the blog, it amazes me how much ground we have covered! Even though much of it is so similar.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

"Tis" The Season-Almost

"As I look out the front windows here in Cyrsti's Condo, I see the trees donning their yellows and reds for fall fashion and- of course my mind wanders past fashion toHalloween.

Rightly or wrongly, Halloween has left indelible marks in my noggin.  When I was a kid and all the way through college to my Army days, I never dressed as a girl for parties.  Not to say I didn't want to desperately, just didn't have the courage to do it (which turned out to be my problem for nearly five decades.)

Once I did begin to celebrate Halloween in all sorts of feminine costumes, quickly I learned two basics.  The first was I didn't want to wait a whole year to cross dress again in public.  The second was, beware of compliments.  It took me years to figure out I wasn't some sort of deity who could "make" a good looking woman and if I was indeed attractive was it because I was a guy cross dressing as a woman?

Looking back, the problem was, these experiences just were opening  a gender Pandora's Box. If you take one of the definitions literally, the phrase "to open Pandora's box" means to perform an action that may seem small or innocent, but that turns out to have severely detrimental and far-reaching consequences.  How true it was, those early Halloween adventures were detrimental to me because I spent years trying to learn and then conceal being transgender.  "Far reaching" speaks for itself.

On the other hand, I was able to have several incredible Halloween experiences. Many of which we will write about in October! And! I would love to write about yours too!"

Still goes!

HRT-Another Look

As I said in my post about estrogen, my choice was purely a personal one and in reality doesn't have to mean anything to another transgender person transitioning. As Connie points out:

"So, I suppose I'm an example of one who does not need HRT in my transition, but there is still no lack of a wanting for it. In my case, it could very well kill me, and I'm too satisfied living as a woman these days to have to worry about dying as a "better" one. Nonetheless, I do have a longing to feel the emotional effects that HRT might induce - at least, I have an unrelenting curiosity about it. Had I not been such a procrastinator when I was younger, I could have experienced those effects for some time, even if I'd had to quit HRT for the sake of my health later. C'est la vie!

Ten or twelve years ago, I was a member of a cross dressing "social club". Most of the members were happy just to cross dress on Thursday nights, but some were contemplating transition or in the early stages of it. It's funny to me that I didn't realize I had already been in transition until after I'd spent some time with this group. I gravitated more toward the "transitioners", even though some of these people seemed to be more unstable than those who were satisfied with occasionally dressing up and going out to show their feminine selves to the world (at least to a bar or restaurant). As I observed the differences between the two "subgroups", I also noticed the differences within the HRT crowd. I theorized that there were those who were fueled by estrogen and others who were fooled by estrogen. I wondered, at that time, which I'd be if I were to begin HRT (a good excuse to procrastinate?). As time went on, though, I came to realize that I wouldn't be fooled by it, as I was confident in my gender identity. Maybe HRT would have been more like a fuel additive than the fuel itself, but there was no doubt in my mind that my motor was running and that I was headed in the right direction already. Whether one adds HRT to their transition or not, then, it's important to remember that your mileage may vary."

Confidence is the key! After all, gender is between the ears!

Mo Halloween

This post is a small montage of comments I received from one of my Halloween posts. The first is from Paula in the UK:

"Although growing in popularity over here (UK) Halloween has not played a big part in development. However one band I play in is considering having a Pantomime themed concert when we will be asked to play in fancy dress. I rather like the idea of going as a "leading boy", Prince Charming in thigh boots sounds like fun!"

Thanks Paula! I think this is the time of year I neglect to mention how big of an occasion Halloween is in this country. It's right next to Christmas!

And from Connie:

"Hey, I just heard of a survey that concluded 50% of men shave their legs! What's this world coming to? :-)

I found out last Friday that the main accessory for my costume was put on back-order - rescheduled for delivery in November. I had to cancel the order and am now hurriedly trying to figure out what costume I can wear this weekend. Maybe this is my year of the slut look? Or, I could go as the Seahawks offense and be nothing...." (NFL reference to a Seattle offense struggling to score any points!)

Must be all those "metro-sexual" guys!

Plus it is Halloween week on TV, a great chance to sneak a peak or two at a cross dressed actor!

As the Bewitching Hour Approaches

With the way Halloween falls on the calendar this year, many of the big parties are happening this coming weekend. Traditionally a chance to get a few unexpected "glances" at a cross dresser or two who may know their "craft" a little too well.

This is also the time of year when all the thrift stores have their share of men trying to act like they don't care as they shop for that special "frock."

As I written, it's hard for me to come up with all the Halloween's over the years-although I had to work through many of them. Even still, I managed to work my way through many costume stages.

Very early  I did the "slut" look which many cis women still use variations of every Halloween. Back in my late 20's I was even told "I made a better looking woman than man." Since I was very limited when I could cross dress the oft handed "compliment" caused me angst  for years. Back in those days I had the legs to show off and a better body proportion to go with them. In fact, I was known as "legs" for months after Halloween to several women. Secretly, the name made me pleased but then again just pushed me ever harder to put on the nearest dress. Which is exactly what I wanted to do anyhow. Just didn't need the extra pressure.

As the Halloweens went by, I tried gender confusion as my costume. My goal was to trick the public into knowing my true self.

Then as I came out as transgender, I didn't want to quote "do drag" at all on Halloween so I pretty much stayed home or didn't bother with a "costume" at all. I figured too, the evening would be an incredible time to people/costume watch.

Which brings me full circle to today. I am secure enough to do any kind of costume, but I am very partial to my witches/vampire look I wore to the Witches Ball we went to a couple weeks ago.

I wore a light patterned shaw over a full length slitted black skirt. For makeup I went with a very light foundation, dark eyes and a magenta lipstick. With my height, I kind of "swirled." Plus I wore black flats for comfort.

I'm sure most "civilians" don't understand the true meaning of Halloween to cross dressers/transgender peeps. Just be on the outlook for shaved legs if you want an idea about how serious a person is!!!