Cyrsti's Condo "Blast from the Past"

I have to tell you all, I have had one heck of a time sitting down and writing any sort of what I consider would be a relevant blog post. So, what's a girl to do? Bring out and dust off one of my archive posts.

This experience took place over five years ago and involved a couple bartenders in one of the sports bars I went to on a regular basis (maybe too regular-but that's another story!) At any rate, they tried for a couple weeks to get me to meet them at another place for drinks some night. I figured they were just being nice because they thought I was lonely, and while a portion of that was true-I was actually testing the waters of existing in a feminine world. So finally I said yes.

The venue we went to was a very upscale bar and food place and they were going to meet others of course. I was scared to death because in those days I would change wigs and looks three times a week. Just what would I wear? 

Finally I choose a long black skirt with a very provocative slit. What I did was partially secure it with a huge decorative safety pin.  

In those days, I couldn't go hairless on my arms and it was summer time so I wore an off the shoulder top not unlike you see here.

I did wear a dark wig, but not this one-but again close.

I found out quickly though, all my worry and prep work could not get me out of a solid third place with the other attractive 20 somethings I was with.

I learned what was to be invisible. 

Fortunately, I was able to excuse myself fairly quickly as everyone was immersed in the flirting ritual. Which was OK with me.

By the way,  I still have that black skirt in my closet and I think it will look real good with a black tank top - belted off this summer. I plan on saving my Shekels to join Liz for a pedi and the skirt should work well with a sharp pair of sandals.

Age appropriate to be sure-or is that age appropriate to the other women I'm with?

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"Page

KerPlunk! Welcome! Another Sunday edition is hitting your virtual front porch. It's a mellow Sunday here in the Cincinnati, Ohio area with overcast skies and temperatures near 55 degrees. It still time for a nice hot "cup o joe" and get started:

Page One-the Week that Was or Wasn't: Once again last week, Momma Karma took a bit of time out of her busy day to knock me off my pedestal. As I was basking in the glory of finally getting my name and gender to sync up within the VA (I am a trans vet and receive my medical care there). It's obviously working because the next day I was contacted to reschedule one of my appointments. They lost my former self in the system. 

I know some of this was to be expected and I need to say the Veterans Administration has been very good to me. As a bureaucracy goes, this process has taken only 30 days or so. If you happen to be a transgender veteran too and want to compare notes-feel free to email me-or contact me in the "comment" section.

Trans Vet (Navy Seal) Kristin Beck (left) and Lana Wachowski

Page Two - Yesterday's Coffee-Opinion: I am burnt out on opinion this week. Of course politics is really just getting started with all it's hoopla. The state of Iowa citizens just have to be sick of the process-except taking the money of the candidates campaign coffers. My problem so far has been no candidate has spoken to the violence, civil right denials, health care, and economic problems of the LGBT family-except Hillary Clinton. Let me say I'm not a huge fan of her's either but, on the other hand:


Page Three-The Back Page: Well kids, this is going to do it for today's Sunday Edition. The dogs are wanting a walk in this weather. As always, you are the best for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo. Love you all!!!!

Phase Two Reconstruction

Last night I attended another meeting of Love Must Win Inc whose goal it is to provide a safe space for anyone needing it-from the LGBT family to drug addicts and beyond (and sadly there is a beyond.)

Last night, at the monthly lottery, I won a months worth of free yoga and/or Pilates which ideally could work into my other fitness goals.



I'm trying to work towards a healthier summer and do a better job of not trying to kill my self with sun poisoning. Last summer, I got so overwhelmed by the idea I could finally wear tank tops etc. and get a tan for the first time in my life-I had no idea I really couldn't.

No Cheap Shots on this Woman (cis?) doing Pilates?

I found out the hard way the sun kicks off a hereditary condition which causes my system to store way too much iron. So I'm calling my summer the "season of the vampire" because of my need to stay out of direct sunlight.

The question I have had for a minute is, truthfully (like I would B.S. you?) how much of this would I considered doing for myself if I stayed my guy self? Let's not forget too-the gym membership I have.

The answer is not so much. I was never very vane as a guy. And, as we know, so much more does go into presenting well as a woman. AND I know I need every edge I can get. 

One of the edges I am looking forward to getting better at now since (knock on wood) is getting my feminine movements down. Back straight, legs crossed etc...you know, the body language which screams "girl!"

At the least, it's all an honorable past time. Being healthier at my age I hope reaps the benefits of what the experts say it should.

Perhaps, "phase two" will help me fight harder when they try to shove me in that back closet in a nursing home!

Liz and Elizabeth

Elizabeth Taylor at 44

Perhaps you all have noticed Connie and I "sparring" in the comments section of a recent post. To cut to the chase, our discussions came down to the preparations trans women have to go through (versus cis women) to even face the world.

Interestingly, I have had the same discussions with my therapist and my partner (cis). My point was to all of them, including Connie, that while I and (most of the rest of the feminine population) will never possess the looks of movie star Elizabeth Taylor, I would not prefer to look like "Liz Taylor" of recent "American Horror Story" fame with Lady Gaga.

Of course I know there are parts of my Mtf transition which are entirely out of my control. Financially I can't walk out and schedule Caitlyn Jenner style plastic surgeon rebuilds and I am stuck with my big bones etc. On the other hand, I know if I can do well with my makeup, I will present with less effort. Often in direct proportion to the work put in.

However, my point to Connie (and I can be accused of not making it well) was a woman, cis or trans should not be judged by her looks. But, where does that idealism leave me? 

Liz Taylor

Well, you all have seen my pictures and you know where it leaves me-with a lot of work to do. But, on the other hand, I am completely unapologetic about who I am, and if I am out of time to do much more than tie my hair back, put on some light foundation and mascara for the grocery or gym-so be it.

Let's not forget Cincinnati, even though it's only a couple hours from ultra LGBT diverse Columbus, Ohio-still needs work on our acceptance. It's happening and I would love to help as much as possible!

In the meantime, I won't give you a "spoiler alert" about Liz Taylor, but you maybe will be surprised if and when you watch the show. 

When Life Face Plants You in the Potty Box!

We have pair of ferrets along with cats and dogs in our Cyrsti's Condo mini zoo. The female has grown to probably one third bigger than her male counterpart. This morning, he was at the wrong place at the wrong time and she face planted him into their potty box. 

Fortunately, we had just cleaned it recently. But, I got to thinking, haven't we all have to deal with a "face plant" or two in the potty box?

Maybe we all are like our ferrets, a higher force is looking down on us laughing when we do it in our cages?

I'm Proud

At the Grandson's  Bar Mitzfah Saturday with Liz and Daughter

Legging it Out?

Recently here in Cyrsti's Condo I have been writing about my first ever exploits in a fitness club.

Of course, in the winter months around O.H.I.O I don't have any problem with going in for my workout in baggy sweats, but of course I do have a goal.

The biggest is I need to be more agile and take off the 10 pounds or so I gained since I have felt better this year. The other is, I'm tired of wearing the baggy sweats into the fitness place- already.


Plus, if my next step is Yoga, I need something more fun to wear..

Now, I would love to wear some of the many many fabulous workout leggings including ones on the left.

Before you think I have fallen off some sort of cliff on my head, I know I will need to find some sort of "T" top that come down far enough on my body to cover a very key area.

Those long tank tops are available, in fact I have one I wore last summer.

Of course I will keep you posted, between exercise machines.

Would You Rather?

Over the space of time here in Cyrsti's Condo (nearing five years), one of the questions which has popped up along the way for those of you who are seriously considering a male to female gender transition is-(From Connie) " One of the questions I used to ask of myself, and now of others who may be contemplating transition, is whether it would be better to be considered a beautiful transgender woman or an average-looking cis-woman."

To be fair, I am taking this part of her comment out of context to make mine, but the thought is a very real one. (Go here for the rest of the post and comment.)

On a very deep level, trans is trans and presentation is just something which makes it easier for your inner self to navigate society. 

Obviously, cis women face the same situations as we do and that's why we see the tremendous marketing drives towards women's makeup and fashion products.

I'm actually just getting started on a very intimidating process of putting together similar groups of the over 4,000 posts I have here for another book. It has been no real surprise to me that my earlier posts revolved more completely around what I wore. I guess now, I am boring and expect everyone to just know I'm going with Liz to her doctor's today and no, I will not go through an hour make up process. I can't and work on a blog post, the book and list a few collectibles to make an extra Shekel or two.

So, what's a trans woman to do? Well, it depends quite a bit on how far you have to go to make a "gender jump" in the public's eyes. Some men quite naturally are more effeminate than others and it is easier. In my case, I don't think I ever really was, so I rely heavily now on the external effects of my HRT. Speaking of, I consider my hair as the biggest plus as I consider who I am as a trans girl these days. O (then again) my attitude which helps my public acceptance, or the fact I am very fortunate to have a group of friends and a partner who accept me for who I am.

It's never been a question in my noggin-I would rather be the transgender woman I am trying to make my way- than the so called 'beautiful trans woman' of many dreams.

ShaZAM!

I guess it my be true, if you wait just a little longer for the VA to grease it's squeaky wheel and approve my name change  will it be worth it? 

Today it did just that and it was. But, it was too cold to do my happy dance naked in the middle of the street.

So now my legal name is legal within the system. Now I have to replace my Goddess Awful Veteran's Administration I.D. card and I am free of my old self.

Wow. Just wow.