A Post I Never Thought I Could Write

Yesterday was a big day - no a HUGE day in my life-my psychologist signed off on my paperwork to begin my gender marker changes.

First  of all, lets back track more years than I can even remember to my earliest fascination with most things feminine. Like most, I made early excursions into my Mom's clothes and makeup. Like many I wanted a doll-not a toy gun for Christmas and like even a fewer, I just wished I could wake up a girl. But- this was in the 1950's and my parents were World War II/Depression born and raised. You want to be a girl, boy????  Get to the barber for your burr haircut NOW. Then go to your room and we will ALL forget this happened. Could have been worse though, they weren't particularly religious. 

Plus, there was nearly no information to work from as you remember back then and most certainly a legal change of my gender was only a distant idea. Instead, I fought the good fight the best I could-still thinking I could beat the deep down thoughts that I could be other than I man the world thought me to be.

I even went the crossdresser route. After all, what harm could be in "fooling" the public into thinking I was feminine. My bi-weekly trips into the world as a girl led to only to more frustration. I would journey out, with various levels of success. If I was successful, I got my fix-for two days at the most. Something was still certainly wrong.

So wrong, I was feeling so bad about my place in the world, I actively tried suicide for the first time in my life. (Some time I will have to explain my idea of a passive versus active suicide attempt.)

Then friends, parents and family began to die on me, so finally I had to follow my soul and transition. Even still, just starting HRT doesn't necessarily lead to changing gender markers.

Finally (as had happened quite a few times in the past few years) I got kicked off the gender marker cliff too. Mainly Liz and my daughter get the credit. They became flat out over me whining over certain aspects of my transition, not to mention my procrastination taking on the whole process too.

See-you all were wrong!!! KIdding! You all were right.

So going back to the beginning, gender is no longer defined what is between your legs, I 
positively love my psychologist AND have been working on my happy dance since yesterday.

After the gender dust settles, Liz and I are going to set a time table to start the Mtf gender marker process in earnest!!!!!!!

YAY!!!!

"Fear and Loathing" on the Elevator

To get to my psychologist office tomorrow, first I have to make several other stops in the VA Hospital- one on the second floor for blood work, fourth floor for my "blood letting" and finally up to the seventh.(where my psychologist office is.) Perhaps if you read Cyrsti's Condo yesterday (and your memory is better than mine) you will remember tomorrow is my first meeting to pursue changing my gender markers.

At the least it will make it easier for the person who called for me with my male name (she had to) to confirm the appointment. She said are "we" coming? Ha-ha! I said, "Indeed "we" will be there to see ""they."

The point to all this jabber is riding in an elevator as a trans woman just could be the most paranoiac experience I have next to bathrooms.

Why? It is not because of any deep fears I have of elevators themselves, unless I happened to find myself on one with Lady Gaga or Kathy Bates on American Horror Story - Hotel. If you do---get off ASAP!

I believe my fear of elevators to this day goes back to my earliest crossdressing in public days. Being "trapped" on an elevator (especially one with mirrors) brought a terror I can only describe as asking Lady Gaga to push the fourth floor button for me. All of my fears are re-introduced everytime Liz and I are going to a big event full of impossibly small attractive cis women in their impossibly high heels and impossibly skimpy black dresses. For sure, feelings NOT only experienced by me - but by so many other cis women to!!!

So elevator time is only another long standing transgender paranoia which needs to go away. Many more people than not have been nice to me, or at the least didn't react to me at all.

I suppose too, I'm lucky I only have seven floors to worry about. I hear rumors about "Gaga" and the Gang having parties on the thirteenth!

Oh-By the Way-

Juliet (right)

Red carpets might be run-of-the-mill for Jackie Evancho since the 15-year-old vocal wonder placed second on America's Got Talent five years ago. But when she stepped out to perform at the Global Lyme Alliance's inaugural gala in New York Thursday, the whole night was full of firsts for the person by her side, her sister Juliet. 
Juliet's first fancy gala, first time posing on a red carpet – and first time sharing with the world that she is transgender. 

As soon as being transgender becomes so routine it is barely mentioned-we have arrived! Sometimes I think we are getting there when I read stories like this;

Cyrsti's Condo's Coming Attractions:

CINCINNATI (WKRC) -- Nobody said parenting was easy... but nothing prepared this mom! In a Local 12 News Family 411, anchor Sheila Gray shares the struggles of a mother of two transgender children. Her plea to the Tri-State. A message for all parents, #LiveOnLocal12 News Thursday at 6. 



Read More at: http://www.local12.com/news/features/featured/stories/THURSDAY-AT-6-A-message-for-all-parents-217894.shtml

FYI-  Channel 12 in Cincinnati has seemed to have taken the lead in local transgender coverage following the tragic suicide of young Leelah Alcorn here last Christmas.  Of course there will always be the "naysayers" who say the coverage is about ratings. With kids though I am not sure that is always the case. Depends upon each individual story and reporter I suppose.

Finally, I don't know if you will be able to pick this up, but we are still Eastern Standard Time!

The Sun, The Moon and the Trans Stars

As you NFL fans probably know, the Cincinnati Bengals won their fifth game this weekend by the slimmest of margins-with a field goal which hit the uprights and then through for the victory. The entire win prompted renowned astrophysicist "Neil deGresseTyson" to tell us why. (follow the link."} 

Today I felt the same effect here in the Cincinnati area which I suppose could be a "residue" from Sunday's game. For some reason I thought today would be a great day to TRY to contact my VA Psychologist, who happens to be the same one who was instrumental in starting me down my HRT path years ago.

She is tough to get to return calls from but today for some reason "The Coriolis Effect" was still spinning my way, because I got a return call less than two hours later. And, as amazing as that was, (it got better) she said she had an opening this Thursday!  And, oh by the way, she is also who could be the one start my "gender marker" change path.

For some unknown reason though, I still feel as if I am walking on thin gender ice. Even after all the transition time I have experienced. Perhaps I always will, but then again I have always felt negotiating the legal gender marker path was as tricky as the physical/social change itself.

No need to be bored - right?

Transgender Veteran Updates

You regulars around here in Cyrsti's Condo know I am Vietnam Era trans vet and have had my HRT monitored by the VA (Veterans Administration) for several years now. 

Along the way, other trans vet visitors here have asked for me to provide any extra info when I found it. I did find some "clarifications" today as I was trying to "back track' through the processes I would have to jump through to change my VA gender markers which works through the DD214 form.

Here are some other links you may be interested in:

1. External Fact Sheet
2. Patients and Resident Rights of VA Centers
3. Changing Your Name/Gender

Your next move (of course) is another form - DD 149

Which leads you to:

What evidence should I submit along with my DD Form 149? 

1. Evidence of your legal name change, such as a certified copy of your name change order 

2. We recommend including at least one, and as many as you have available, of the following:  A U.S. Passport showing your updated name and gender - A state driver’s license or identification card showing your updated name and gender - A court order recognizing your gender transition

AND A signed statement, on office letterhead, from a licensed physician.

 Though no requirements for this statement have been issued, we recommend the statement follow the following format: I, (physician’s full name), (physician’s medical license or certificate number), (issuing U.S. State/Foreign Country of medical license/certificate), (DEA Registration number or comparable foreign designation), am the physician of (name of patient), with whom I have a doctor/patient relationship and whom I have treated (or with whom I have a doctor/patient relationship and whose medical history I have reviewed and evaluated). (Name of patient) has had appropriate clinical treatment for gender transition to the new gender (specify new gender male or female)

I will let you read on from there! (TAVAUSA)

Trans Woman on Aisle Nine!

As promised in our Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition", the final regular Saturday stop at our local huge food store was anything but routine. After this morning's story from the Cincinnati Enquirer, I am pleased I do. It's no small deal as-

 Kroger is the largest traditional grocer in the nation with more than 400 stores. With more than 400,000 employees, it's the nation's seventh largest employer.

"The Kroger Co. has agreed to extend transgender health benefits to employees covered under the company insurance plan with Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield, according to a Facebook posting from a Kroger worker! Below!

Britney McGannon, a Kroger general-merchandise manager, organizes products on a shelf. She transitioned on the job and now proudly wears the female uniform and a new name tag.
(Photo: The Enquirer/Meg Vogel

Kroger is one of the largest retailers in the country and is headquartered here in Cincinnati. They operate stores under several different names, so you may be shopping at one now and not really know it.

OK, back to Saturday-it was relatively late (for a person of my age) and the store was nearly empty so mainly the only interactions Liz and I were having were with employees. (Which by the way, are normally very nice.) 

As we checked out, the young girl on the register did her trained but pleasant spiel on if we found everything OK. But then, the bagger, who was perhaps a young LGBT person, asked if we shopped at this store often? We said we did and she said "come back soon and shop at her store." How nice! Plus, the older woman (who I perceived to be in charge of the few cashier lines that were open) was heading our way smiling. Yes, the store is open 24/7 so she wasn't saying get out :).

After reading this morning of Kroger's new stance on transgender insurance, and the fact I already knew of their LGBT diversity. I had to feel Saturday night was no accident.

We Got Comments

As promised, I wanted to highlight the comments I received here in Cyrsti's Condo about a trans woman Elaine Walquist, who requested to talk to an Oregon politician who had proposed a bill banning SRS for transgender youth 15-17 years old.

1. Joni RobertaOctober 9, 2015 at 11:02 AM

   At least she made an impression on him and put a human face on the TG people he is advocating against.
   
   Thanks for sharing this.

   ReplyDelete
2. 
   FABULOUSCONNIEDEEOctober 9, 2015 at 12:06 PM

   The politics aside, this story is the most encouraging I've heard in a long time. I would love to have the opportunity to meet with someone like that....... Well, I do it all the time, but not with someone that could make it newsworthy.

   ReplyDelete
3. 
   SharonAnne NOctober 9, 2015 at 10:49 PM

   *
   I share Elaine's stealth mode history. My transition and operations (1974 - 1985) were all done in stealth though I had not known that term during those days. I transitioned beyond the express knowledge of my family and friends. They should have known, I spent my lifetime in feminine protesting from age three. They failed to comprehend that my change would inevitably happen.
   
   It was not until I went full-time female forever (1985 - age 29) did they know and right on cue they all - yes ALL - eventually rejected me. My last personal interaction with family (an uncle) was 1999. Both my parents are deceased; my sister wants nothing to do with me and refuses to write or call.
   
   Additionally, my transition was lonely. I was the only transsexual for all but one of my physicians until 1985. I resided at small communities during early years (1974 - 1980). Even when I moved to Salt Lake City (1980), my counsellor told me that I was the only transsexual from Provo to Logan. My sessions were mostly 'group'; my counsellor advised me to limit my discussion of my transsexualism to our private sessions because group might not be able to handle my presence.
   
   Nowadays I am again mostly alone. I am my current endocrinologist's first, my primary's seventh, my co-primary's first, and my therapist's first.

SharonAnne's and Elaine share a very real painful past which should never be forgotten in a transgender conversation of how we got to where we are today. Physical SRS pain followed (or proceeded) by even more emotional pain. Thanks SharonAnne for sharing, I am sending positive vibes along for you to add a friend or two to your list.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Listen up! Another Sunday version is hitting your virtual front porch. Thanks for joining in on another glorious Fall morning along the Ohio River here in Cincinnati. Lets get a hot "Cup o Joe" head out to the deck with the laptop and get started.

Page One-The Week That was-or Wasn't: My pick this week goes to the story about the YMCA in Tacoma, Washington who reversed their stance on transgender individuals being allowed to use the changing/locker room of their choice. Here is an excerpt from Connie: 

 "Locker rooms are different than restrooms, though. Personally, I would not feel comfortable exposing my male genitalia in a women's locker room. In fact, I never liked it in men's locker rooms, either. We can talk about the difference between gender and sex until we're blue (pick the body part), but it becomes all-too-confusing when standing naked in front of others. No matter what may be going on in our minds, it's more about what is in our presentation that shapes perception by others. Having grown up as a very confused child, myself, I would never want to be the one to create confusion in the mind of a child now."

I agree but NEVER should the organization involved even intimate a transgender person is the "perve" when in fact we are the ones who have been the victims time after time.

Page Two-Opinion: Seemingly, it is a huge "no-no" to compare any racial discrimination with transgender discrimination-but here goes. Should places such as the YMCA be forced to provide "separate but equal" changing/locker room facilities? Not unlike the old "Jim Crow" racial discrimination laws in the South? And, in this day of litigation everywhere, wouldn't that open the door for everyone else to do it too? Number one, I'm not smart enough to know, or two, have a crystal ball which is clear enough to tell me. But, (no pun intended) If I was provided a trans changing room-I would take it. I don't need that kind of battle! (Or embarrassment, and I too think of the kids.)

Page Three-Honey Is That A??? What a fun night last night was for all the wrong reasons. Let me explain. Liz and I were invited to a friends, son's 21st birthday party she promised him before he passed away a couple years ago. Friends and family were there, including a couple I guarantee had never and maybe never again see another trans person in their life. Outside of a long set of stares (and some glares) though all was good. 

Also, one of Liz and I's Mother Earth group members who has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer was there. My heart went out to her of course on the diagnoses-but also on the number of times she had to repeat:

1. Yes, I do have breast cancer.
2. Yes,I am on Chemotherapy
3. No,I am not going to tell you how nasty that is.
4. Yes I do hurt
5. Yes I am tired and going home.

She was very gracious though and I learned a lot from her and she also is in my thoughts a lot. 

Page Four-The Back Page: Well kids it's time to wrap this up, but not before I am going to mention even another stop at the grocery store as we were heading home-in my next post!

I love you all and WHO DEY! Who Do You Think is Gonna Beat Dem Bengals!