"Passed By?"

Most certainly , the second thing we do after donning women's or girl's clothes for the first time is find a mirror to admire ourselves in. From that moment on, the mirror becomes our friend or enemy. I have always thought making the MtF gender transition from cross dresser to transgender woman in the world passes through the mirror.

Of course as we know, the mirror has a pesky level of fibbing to human beings as a whole-not just cross dressers or trans women. We look wonderful in the mirror only to be "clocked" at every turn in the real world.

These days though, the world seems to be changing in our direction-for the best. I'm going to let Connie tell her story which is so similar to mine:

" I began thinking this morning about "passing privilege" after visiting the doctor's office for yet another blood draw. The girl at the front desk was not the one I have been encountering thus far, but she was good about being careful to address me properly. I assume that she had me read before I even gave her my name (she only asked for my last name at first). So, I guess I wasn't passing, but I was recognized as a trans woman who was serious about it. 

As I sat in the waiting room, I revisited the notion of "passing" in my mind. In fact, that's where it lies in the first place - in MY mind; not anyone else's. Even if I don't actually "pass" as a woman, then, it is my attitude and self-confidence that relay the notion that I am, at least, "passable" (or a reasonable facsimile) to those with whom I engage. In other words, my "pass-ability" comes from within me (with a bit of help from cosmetics and clothing on the outside), while others see from that the "possibility" of my womanhood. As such. I am so much more often treated by others as they would treat any woman. As they say, the possibilities are endless, but we, as trans women, must open ourselves up to them. If we're constantly concerned with being "passable", we limit what is "possible". I see myself as having the "right" to be who I am; I see the "privilege" belonging to those who meet me!"

All I can add is, you will know all of this when it happens and it takes a lot of patience to get here!
 

The Right or Wrong Person for the Job?

I really don't know how many times I have sworn myself off the "allure" or lack of it from Caitlin Jenner. 

Kristin Beck 

Of course I know the non negotiables. Without a doubt she is the biggest public relation's splash ever in the transgender community. Now we have a former Olympic hero along with Navy Seal Kristin Beck as recent "coming out" stories. In fact, Kristin is running for US Congress.

I am sure Jenner's life will ever allow her to ever experience the everyday lives we live as transgender women. Can you imagine the paparazzi crowding into a women's restroom with her?

After watching her last show rater intently (and knowing it's a glossy over produced Kartrashian show) I couldn't see the emotion in Jenner. Again, I don't know all the facts about her, except she went out and bought the best plastic surgery money could buy. Again, maybe that's why I can't see any emotion in her face-she can't move it!!!!

Plus, I have no idea how long she has been back on HRT. It took me three years on hormones to begin to see the world in a different way. When I watch Jenner, I wonder if she has passed over (no pun intended) to the feminine side much at all. She tries to overtalk most people and doesn't want to listen for the real problems-typical male.

Then again, maybe I am just watching the true quandary of a Mtf gender transition play out with Jenner. I don't question the pure persistence and strength it takes to jump the gender fence. It will be interesting to see in the years to come what happens with Jenner. Will a "softer-gentler" Caitlin truly begin to enjoy a life in the girls sandbox? Or, will the ego trip of doing it still be more important? 

Where Did the Pool Sissy Go?

I don' really know, but if you are wondering where the picture of the cross dressed "sissy" went, Pinterest had a problem with me re-pinning it at all. It turns out unless I received permission to use our boy at the pool-I couldn't, he was copyrighted.  

Either that, he was recognized and caught?

Cyrsti's Condo "From the Hart"

A "Real" Queen of Hearts" in Cyrsti's Condo

Unidentified cross dresser 

Remember- a "queen" not a princess!

A Beautiful Frock!

Katie Glover from Frock Magazine just emailed this message: Hi Cyrsti, just a quick heads up to let you know that we have finally published the app version of Frock Magazine containing your column. 



You all can see it here!

If you didn't know, Frock is the world's fastest growing quality bi-monthly transgender and drag magazine. Voted 'Best Niche Magazine' in both 2013 and 2014, Frock is inspiring, entertaining and informative to transgender and drag people and their supporters all over the world.

Check it out!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Another special virtual edition is hitting your front porch! It's a beautiful day around here, sunny and highs expected in the low 80's. The "Joe" (coffee) is brewing, so are the ideas. Let's get started!

Page One-the Week that Was-or Wasn't:  Around the Condo we evoked quite a bit of response from our discussion about transgender senior health care. The post was called "Headed for the Nursing Home Closet?"  I urge you to go back to the post and check out two comments by Paula and Connie. Paula's represents a very positive look at a friend's passing days. Connie's - not so much. Overall, I share a boatload of paranoia about reaching that point in my life. 

Along the way, we also covered (or tried to) the complex world of "gender markers" As all of you who are attempting or completed the process know, the problem is on the local level, each state often is different with certain requirements. An example is, I still can't get the gender changed on my birth certificate here in Ohio and I have the Veteran's Administration to factor in. Fortunately, there is a central information point from The National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE) where you can take a look at the process.  I have often said the legal gender transition is as difficult as the physical one.

Page Two-Stand Up and Be counted! The US Trans Survey is going on now. Of course I don't think I need to tell you how important this survey is. It's a chance to step up and tell the world how numerous we really are and so much more than all the glossy television media time transgender women and men are getting right now.

Page Three-Opinion-Privilege is What You Make it: I believe some of the first big "wars" on the internet I read when I began my "explorations" years ago were waged on "gender privilege." Of course I knew generics made less money, had certain promotional "glass ceilings" and were generally disrespected by men in certain area's of their life. However, I knew  the cost of "male privilege" also. It's a huge, complex and often an emotional issue I found-an easy one to stay the hell out of. I did, for the most part, think being trans was an ideal spot to sit back and watch the battles. 

Page Four-The Back Page: Well kids, it's time to get the old dog and I moving and get outside and enjoy the day. For those of you in the Pacific Northwest, I am sending positive vibes your way-put the fires out!!! And, for the rest of you, thanks for taking your time to stop by Cyrsti's Condo!

The Positives of a Bad Attitude?

Someone said "when you have lemons, make lemonade." Did anyone ever say "when you have a bad attitude-wear it well?" No probably not. Everyone is too busy trying to pound the round peg into a round hole. (Or the square one.) I too am guilty as charged of course. 

It's easy to blame everything on my Mom and most certainly I can toss her under the bus on this one too. After all, her mantra was "don't care what everyone else thinks." What she missed in the fine print was don't care until it effects her. 

So, as I continue to figure out the light at the end of the tunnel is not the train on my transgender journey-who the hell told me I couldn't do this?

Probably the same ones who told me I would never get into the American Forces Radio and Television Service when I was drafted. 

And, the same ones who told me cross dressers should never wear pants and always wear heels and hose.

Yes, all of them.

Don't panic though, just to even things out-I make sure I am doing enough stupid things to make sure the round hole I am in feels more comfortable. In fact, after all these years of staring down the tunnel looking for the train is getting a bit old.

Oh well, I am sure I can find another cause to resurrect another bad attitude rant.

Cyrsti's Condo - Ooops???

Unidentified Pinterest Pix.

Dammit! Is this guy ever going to quit looking up my dress?