"Passed By?"

Most certainly , the second thing we do after donning women's or girl's clothes for the first time is find a mirror to admire ourselves in. From that moment on, the mirror becomes our friend or enemy. I have always thought making the MtF gender transition from cross dresser to transgender woman in the world passes through the mirror.

Of course as we know, the mirror has a pesky level of fibbing to human beings as a whole-not just cross dressers or trans women. We look wonderful in the mirror only to be "clocked" at every turn in the real world.

These days though, the world seems to be changing in our direction-for the best. I'm going to let Connie tell her story which is so similar to mine:

" I began thinking this morning about "passing privilege" after visiting the doctor's office for yet another blood draw. The girl at the front desk was not the one I have been encountering thus far, but she was good about being careful to address me properly. I assume that she had me read before I even gave her my name (she only asked for my last name at first). So, I guess I wasn't passing, but I was recognized as a trans woman who was serious about it. 

As I sat in the waiting room, I revisited the notion of "passing" in my mind. In fact, that's where it lies in the first place - in MY mind; not anyone else's. Even if I don't actually "pass" as a woman, then, it is my attitude and self-confidence that relay the notion that I am, at least, "passable" (or a reasonable facsimile) to those with whom I engage. In other words, my "pass-ability" comes from within me (with a bit of help from cosmetics and clothing on the outside), while others see from that the "possibility" of my womanhood. As such. I am so much more often treated by others as they would treat any woman. As they say, the possibilities are endless, but we, as trans women, must open ourselves up to them. If we're constantly concerned with being "passable", we limit what is "possible". I see myself as having the "right" to be who I am; I see the "privilege" belonging to those who meet me!"

All I can add is, you will know all of this when it happens and it takes a lot of patience to get here!