The Definitive Guide to---Us?

"Us" is similar to "they." The faceless minions in the world, not in the new movie.

If you use "us" as in the TGLBQ community, it's a serious deal especially to civilians. After all in a previous recent Cyrsti's Condo post, Connie and I discussed using the "she" pronoun at all when referring to Zoey Tur.

Perhaps you remember the Simmons College "SocialWork@Simmons" Blog we participated with here in the blog. Now Simmons is passing along a "Gender and Sexuality - Defining Terms for Everyday Use."

Here is the intro:  "Navigating the dialogue that surrounds gender and sexuality can be difficult. The terminology used by and for individuals along the gender spectrum is specific, and preferred usage can vary from individual to individual. Consider the acronym LGBT, which stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender. It’s used all the time in phrases like “LGBT community” and “LGBT rights.” Yet, some people and groups include a “Q” in the acronym to stand for questioning, while others include an “I” to stand for intersex. The language is adaptable and it is always evolving."

Since it is incredibly complex for "us" I can only imagine how confusing it is for "them."

Thanks for checking in Megan (on my email) and Chris for his work on the blog. Follow the link for an in depth look. 

Perhaps of all the terminology, "evolving" is the most profound.

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day."

Yes...this is me!!!

Gender-izing a Belt?

This is sort of a cute story that happened Saturday. Here in Cyrsti's Condo numerous times I have mentioned my partner Liz's 89 year old Dad. It's safe to say during his life, he has never been known as a card carrying liberal-as referenced by the bear he hunted years ago and the ultra light plane he was building (until his health gave out) in the garage.

Over my five years or so with Liz, I have been involved in all the small family events and helping to take him around to his medical appointments - including an amazing set of cataract operations. When he started the four operations on both eyes, essentially he was legally blind, now he is increasingly close to 20/20.

Along the way, I have told Liz when he begins to see me-there will be questions. After all, when you get to be 90-you can ask anything you want.

Saturday when we were in the optometrist store getting him fitted for glasses, I was making sure he got out of his walker and into a chair. Suddenly he looked straight ahead at my belt and said "Is that a girl belt, or a boy belt and then paused and said one of those gay boy belts?" I softly leaned in and said "it's a girl belt, Jim."

Now, as we all know this transgender life presents interesting twists. In my case, Liz has never really talked to Dad about my true genderality. On some occasions he will call me Chris and others Cyrsti and add in a "hon" or even a doll.

Being the loving and giving person I am, I told Liz he is your Dad and the time is coming for a transgender sit down. Daughter dearest-are you a lesbian or what?  Because now he can see me and hear me as long as he can find his hearing aids!

Zoey Tur -The Doc and More

Connie called me to task concerning a recent post I wrote here in Cyrsti's Condo concerning two individuals who I think at the least are out to make a "living" of sorts from the transgender community. One is Dr. Drew-the other Zoey Tur (a self professed trans woman). From Connie:

"I don't watch Dr. Drew; I just read about this incident. Is Dr. Drew really transphobic? Obviously, Ben Shapiro is. However, I'm going to take you to task again, because we transgender people should not also be passing judgement on each other. (she)? You recently posted that there is no one right way to transition - but does that mean there are wrong ways? I would agree that Zoey is somewhat an embarrassment, based on what I have seen of her, and she certainly is taking a different path of transition than I.

 However, if I am living in the hope that I will be received by the world in a civil manner for my gender identity, I must also do the same for anyone else's. After all, if we transgender people know that our gender identities are not a matter of choice, then we should respect that - even if a person demonstrates what we have determined to be subsequent acts that are based on choice. So, you might say, "Zoey Tur - she is an asshole", but the "she" should not be "(she)". The "asshole" could even be capitalized, however."

Connie, there are probably only one person who knows for sure if he is transphobic and that is Dr. Drew himself-or is he simply another talking head asking questions for ratings. As far as Zoey Tur goes, I believe you all should know by now what I think about Zoey (less than zero) and I will direct you to a show between the Doc and Zoey here. Ben Shapiro is not really worth my words or energy.

Finally, as far as calling Tur a "she" I thought about not doing it but went ahead. After all, there are plenty of generic's I meet who don't deserve the pronoun.

Cyrsti's Condo at the "Movin' Picture Show!"

One way to beat the "heat" during a hot humid sultry Ohio day?
Spend it at the "movin' picture show!" 

We actually watched the classic Billy Wilder Film Noir Double Indemnity vintage film re-released by TCM for the big screen!  

Cyrsti's Condo- "From the Hart"

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

KerPlunk! Another Sunday Edition has hit your virtual front porch. This week, we are locked into 90 degree plus temperatures and humidity levels which make the heat feel into the 100's. Vintage Ohio. Our "Joe" (coffee) this morning is going to be iced.  Let's get started!

Page One-The Week that was-or Wasn't: On different ends of the transgender spectrum last week, "senior citizen" Caitlin Jenner won an ESPY Sports Courage Award and 14 year old teen trans girl Jazz Jenning's first "reality family show" debuted. Of course Jenner is (and will be) a lightning rod for anything transgender. And, even though I was conflicted about Jenner being chosen for the award-I thought she did a wonderful job of speaking to the tragic problem of teen transgender suicide. More than a few people continue to think no matter what, just throw religion at the trans (problem) and it will go away. With tragic consequences.


Page Two- "Jazzin it Up": Trans teen Jazz Jennings show was a delight. Of course, Jazz is no stranger to the spotlight. At the age of seven Jazz began to tell her story to the world-by choice. Seven years later she presents a unique look at a journey most of us could only dream of. Yet in the middle of Jazz's story comes another-just as compelling: what is a trans teen to do when dealing with boys who are struggling to come to grips with life as a man? Connie comments on Page Three.

Page Three- Shakin Your What? During episode one, Jazz compared her "problems" with boys compared to other girls. I paraphrase, but she said "all they had to do was stick their butts out and the boys would follow." Her point is not lost on any of us of any age. After all, the debate has raged for years on how a cis man who is attracted to a transgender woman be labeled. Gay, Bi or whatever. Still a debate for another time. In the meantime Connie commented:

"Socially, we've advanced to a point where women are recognized for their capabilities beyond house-wivery and the beck and call to their husband's sexual desires. Not that those things are any less important, as the expectation of them has never disappeared - at least they haven't, from most men's points of view. Transgender women cannot compete, as we're having to play a different game on a different play field. Even after taking advantage of all medical science has to offer, we may be able to attract a man, but our past will put the kibosh on most men's game.Transgender women who move into transition are making the move toward sexism, and the short end of it at that. 

Even after fighting the negativity of those who quote bible verses and amateur geneticists (funny, how this is the one thing upon which the two agree), a transgender woman who sticks her butt out must realize that she is, at the same time, sticking her neck out."

I love the last sentence!

Page Four-The Back Page: Well kids, time to wrap up this issue and move out into the tropics! As always, I love you all and wish you all peace love and happiness!!!!

Down the Rabbit Hole?

It's been fairly obvious to most of you visitors to Cyrsti's Condo during my life I have spent some time rummaging around in the "crawzy wabbit" hole.

Most assume automatically it's been because I am transgender and have been on this epic journey seeking my "genderality." Of course much of that is true but there is so much more.

The Goddess has blessed me with a daughter, three grand kids and yet another cis woman who loves me  All of which I have never been sure I deserved. Still, there is so much more I have never ever been able to reach out and understand.

One hundred twenty five years ago when I was serving out the rest of my Army time in Germany, a couple friends and I began to explore meditation lessons. I actually became so involved I actually scared myself off. To this day though, I still use what I learned to clam myself down and de-stress.

That's all good, but yesterday at Liz and I's "Meetup" group,one of the women in the group presented an idea for a group of us to attend a group of "self awareness" sessions. I was wary until she said you could go down your own rabbit hole to the point of coming out the other side. If we had the courage or need to.

We talked later about the sessions and I expressed some of my reservations about the sessions. She assumed I was referring to being transgender. Of course I wasn't. But then I began to think , it's a good idea.

You see, "back in the day" I was deeply trying to deny my gender dysphoria and maybe somehow my fears were tied in with what I was inevitable. Now of course, I am way past all of that. 

So maybe I can release more of my demons-at the least . Never let the "wabbit's" hear you scream, at least- in our own hole. 

Earth Girls Have it Easy???

Used to think years ago girls/women did have it easier than men. After all, back in the day, how hard did June Cleaver really have it on Leave it to Beaver? Except making sure she was looking her best as she served the evening dinner?

Of course as I grew up and learned more about the meaning of "family values"-what were June's wifely duties for husband Ward after the show was over? Of course as the conservative social peeps preach, it was a simpler time. After all, gays were in the closet, men in dresses (transvestites) could be arrested on site and so what if the girl's phys ed teacher acted a "little" masculine?  And, what the hell was a transgender person???

In my case, the more I transitioned into the feminine world, I found out how earth girls had it less easy than earth boys. On the rare occasion a guy did move into my social radar, found that compared to women, I experienced far more problems. I am sure passing privilege had something to do with that, but that is another blog post.

Where I am going with this one is the comment Jazz Jennings made about her teen-aged interactions with male and female class mates. I paraphrase but she said something to the point that her female classmates just had to stick their behinds out to get attention but with her, it was much more difficult with the boys. As you can imagine.

So no, "earth girls" don't have it easy and "earth trans girls" have a much harder time yet!

We can only hope the June Cleaver's of today aren't stopping on their way home from their job picking up "Jesus's Own Chicken" from Chik-fil-et and choosing a much more LGBT friendly chain!