Just a Cross Dresser?

Before I get to the post, here is another comment from our "Did You Hear" post:

Alice BrouleApril 30, 2015 at 10:45 AM

SVU Season 4, Episode 21 was an episode about a pre-op transsexual girl. It was dark and sad but nonetheless well done. Worth watching.
I've always loved the show..

As have I Alice and have always respected the longevity of the show!!

The other day, I had a message on Facebook from a person who identified as "just a cross dresser." 

I responded just??? The comment though, says it all when our "communities" mix. Connie brought it up in our last post when she mentioned for whatever reason, her friend (who had been on HRT for years) became increasingly isolated. She also preferred to identify as a cross dresser. I would suggest (just as a female does not equate a woman) HRT does not identify a transgender person. (As Connie would I am sure.)

I think too, a major factor with HRT is "passing privilege." Yes, it IS a major move and yes it does help one to gain more of the precious "PP". But, in no way in this lifetime (there are not enough hormones in the world) will I ever be able to look like all the beautiful cross dressers or trans women on Pinterest. As Natasha said in our last post, (I paraphrase) just because you are out as a cross dresser or trans woman does not mean you hang out with others of like persuasion. Truly, I don't much. (Another blog post.)

So, there is no such thing as "just a cross dresser." By far, the days I identified as a cross dresser were the toughest of my life. I was hiding behind my dresses refusing to face who I was and managing to make many others just a miserable as I was deep inside.

You cross dressers! It's cool to be who you are!!! Life is too short to not embrace it!

"Cyrsti's Condo" Cleaning

Today, I have many comments to get to! 

The first couple come from the "Installing Windows in your Closet" post.

NatashaApril 30, 2015 at 5:33 AM

"In my experience many of the "out and proud" trans people about the place are actually a whole lot more closeted than they let on. They socialize exclusively within the trans support group community and online, and have few or no friends in the actual world."

Right on Natasha! Actually coming to the realization you are a transgender woman or trans man is one thing-coming out another and carving out a life in the "actual" world-another.

Then, there was my co-blogger Connie! 

"I'd like to know if you can even install Windows in that old computer of yours.:-)  (Ha Ha! My Windows 1949 still works!)" Seriously, here are a couple excerpts or (extracts) from her comment: 

"Windows can be seen through from both sides, but they still don't necessarily make things clear. I know a person (a fellow musician) who is our age, and has been a cross dresser since childhood. She (because that is how I know her) has told me stories of how she would, as a child, get all dressed up and stand at the picture window of her home, waiting for someone to notice her. She actually continues to do it today. Now, this is someone who has been on HRT for at least 10 years, but still considers herself a cross dresser because of fear to let go of her male (privileged?) life completely."

"She does venture outside the window often, but I don't believe she does so with a different mindset than if she were exhibiting herself from the inside. She has complained to me so often about being alone, lonely, and lonesome that I finally stopped seeing her altogether. I mean, what am I, chopped liver? With some people it is just an exercise in futility to try to understand, let alone help."

More to come in our next post!

Trashing Your Transgender Kid

The Ohio Highway Patrol released it's report on the tragic suicide last winter of transgender teenager Leelah Alcorn. I have written several times here in Cyrsti's Condo about how her death is constantly reinforced with me because I travel that stretch of road continually.

The report really didn't surprise me much. 


The OHP reported Leelah Alcorn, the 17-year-old transgender youth who committed suicide last December, had been frequenting suicide prevention websites in the weeks leading up to her death.

The report also explains that Alcorn's mother had found a note on Alcorn's bed shortly after police notified them about her death. The note read "I've had enough." 

The Journal-News also  reported Alcorn had been undergoing conversion therapy against her will when she died, a type of psychiatric treatment aimed at changing the sexual orientation of gender identity of gay, lesbian, and transgender youth that President Barack Obama condemned earlier this month.

In addition to Leelah's story, it is important to note here in Southwestern Ohio, we are on the LGBT "fault line."  An example is Cincinnati which has (and is) working hard to create a diverse environment but then again you don't have to travel far to find a very active religious community who I am sure still believe salvation will rid any poor transgender or gay kid's problems. 

And how about Leelah's parents? Are they still "true believers" more than true "under-standers?" I can't imagine their pain-or thought patterns. Especially now in the highly publicized transgender era. Sacrificing your child "for the cause" may be a bit much-for anyone. Including the "snake worshipers."

 

Same Sex Mariage

Recently I published a post here on Cyrsti's Condo from my partner Liz. She wrote a strong case for same sex marriage. Liz identifies as a lesbian and here is part of her post:

Who out there has the RIGHT to say that I am to be denied the same right to marry the love of my life and have it recognized? Whatever happened to the "separation of church and state"? This is an American Civil liberties issue, NOT a religious issue!


I received several comments here and on Google Plus:  In no particular order, Connie wrote:

 "Holy Matrimony, Batman. Liz is right! It is the state that grants license to qualified religious officials to marry two people, but it is not necessary to involve any religion for a marriage to be legal. A judge, certain government officials, and even a ship's captain can preside. Even the Catholic Church does not recognize fully any marriage that takes place outside of the Catholic Church, but it does not close it's doors to anyone who has -nor does it run to the government crying that such a marriage be legally revoked. Marriage is simply a legal contract."

And: Maria HardingApril 29, 2015 at 2:35 PM

God didn't make any mistakes!

And Regina: "Liz is right! Whatever happened to the separation of church and state?"

Thanks to all! 

Did You Hear?

From Variety :  “Law & Order: SVU” has always looked to the headlines, and the upcoming 17th season is already planning to highlight a hot topic issue: the transgender community, which was recently brought to the spotlight in Bruce Jenner’s “20/20″ interview.

“We’ve already started our season 17 storylines. We’re doing a story about a transgender teenager,” showrunner Warren Leight told Variety Tuesday, the first day the “SVU” team began prepping the first episode of the upcoming 2015-16 season — which also happens to be the same day the cast was shooting the finale episode for season 16, which airs May 20. “The world keeps evolving, and there are a lot of dark areas that we need to look at,” Leight added."

If I am reading this right, Law & Order SVU doing a "dark" show on a transgender teen, means they "might" address trans bullying and violence. But, maybe Jenner is getting too much credit here. The show producers may had been noticing the real dark sides of life transgender youth face.

Liz Speaks!

I write quite a bit about my partner Liz and we talk all the time about her becoming a regular contributor to Cyrsti's Condo. This is her response today  to a question on Local 12 WKRC TV Cincinnati concerning the upcoming Supreme Court ruling on "Same Sex Marriage": (on the station's Facebook page.)

I live and was born and raised in the greatest country in the world, with a Government who crafted a Constitution that is supposed to represent Equality for ALL of it's Citizens. Immigrants from all around the world flock to this country to live the American Dream, and they can become US Citizens and get married. (YAY! That is what the American Dream is all about!) I live, work, and pay taxes in this Freedom Founded country, and I have for 52 years, yet I am not allowed to Wed and have that marriage recognized? Who out there has the RIGHT to say that I am to be denied the same right to marry the love of my life and have it recognized? Whatever happened to the "separation of church and state"? This is an American Civil liberties issue, NOT a religious issue!

Thanks Liz!

Installing Windows in Your Closet

Recently here in Cyrsti's Condo, I added a sentence or two about a transgender woman here in Cincinnati who was interviewed after the Bruce Jenner interview show. She spoke of being totally alone among other things.

I reached out on Facebook to the very active "Transgender Community of Cincinnati" Facebook page and finally I am getting feedback.  A couple local transgender women seem to have met her, but don't really know how to get in touch. Meaning, she doesn't seem to have any social media presence. Maybe she doesn't want to, but I'm thinking don't go on television discussing it. Maybe though (it's possible) I'm missing the point. As Connie said:

"Being alone is different than being lonely, however. I remember a time when I could find people within the trans community via organized meetings or activities at least two times a week. I still can, of course, but I learned that, even though my participation helped to relieve my loneliness (especially when my only alternative was to stay locked up in the house), I was still alone when it came to really living my life. It's comforting to me that I have these outlets when I might need some support, but it's up to me to establish relationships outside of the trans community so as not to be alone. I'll admit to having avoided close relationships throughout my life, when to do so would have made keeping my "secret" even more stressful than it was. Since I never developed the necessary skills to form and nurture these relationships, I am still feeling alone - as well as lonely - much of the time now."

I too, have never had many "close relationships" in my life. And, I blamed my gender dysphoria on why but then again, my brother hasn't either. 

Then, there is a difference between being social and being socialized. I was fortunate enough to be socialized outside of what's referred to as a typical trans or cross dresser groups. Before you begin to think I am making value judgments, I am merely saying I was thrust into more "real world" transition situations.

So, of course I don't know where (if any) of those categories the local trans woman may fall into. I just know many of us around here are very paranoid about someone-anyone not being able to install any windows in their closets. Because of of Leelah Alcorn. We all know what the worst case scenario could be.

Cyrsti's Conco "Cover Girl" of the Day

Marcin Majewski Madox on MTV birthday party at La Playa, photo. AKPA

Our feature today is the androgynous Mtf performer Marcin Madox

Most Likely To?

Presidential Candidate Ted Cruz (left) - with gay hotel owner Mati Weiderpass

Question. When will presidential candidate Ted Cruz embarrass the gay community and come out of the closet?