Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!" Another Sunday Edition has hit your virtual front porch!  Get that hot "cup o joe" of yours ready to go and lets get started.
Page One: Is the Third Time a Charm?  Yes, and no-last night I attended my third Leelah Alcorn vigil in the area in which I live. The one last night was in Dayton, Ohio and oddly was a different take in many ways on the same tragic circumstance.  Outside of a few "more mature" speakers, the evening was for the transgender youth packed into a small church.  Afterward, my transgender woman friend Racquel talked with me about the changes she has seen just over the past years.  Here is part of her Facebook post:

Many Ohio trans people have been brutally murdered in the past couple years. In Cleveland, Betty Skinner—a disabled trans woman—was beaten to death. Brittany Stergis was shot in the head. Ce Ce Dove (referred to as an oddly dressed man) was stabbed several times, tied to a cinder block and thrown in a lake. In Toledo, Candice Milligan was called "tranny" and "a dude in a dress" then beaten unconscious. Police said, "This may have been because of his sexual orientation."

In the first reports, they were all treated as defective freaks. The right pronouns weren't used and the word "transgender" never came up. To be fair, eventually the stories got partially updated. But I think we owe Leelah for really bringing the issue out in the open.

We also discussed the racial aspect to all of this, which I am going to write about in a future post.

Page Two: The Good News or the Bad News?  Last night, I walked away from the vigil last night with many, many positives.  However, being a veteran of many corporate brain washing meetings over the years-  I just wonder if weeks, months and years later, how much of the Leelah Alcorn story will be remembered?  I know a group in her hometown Cincinnati, Ohio is attempting to raise money for a memorial for Leelah.  Being the cynic I am though, I know a couple high schoolers who don't even know who John Hancock was and why was the guy in the statue dressed funny? How's the memorial working for John? But- One of the reasons I think Leelah just won't fade away as quickly as many would like her too, were the youth I saw stand up and speak their peace and define their young transgender lives in Dayton (last night) and Cincinnati (a week ago).  I was so impressed with how so many people are working in the trenches such as GLSEN who are trying to do such a difficult job!

Page Three:  Steve Harvey.  Steve Harvey has become a huge media personality and like so many others, came from extremely humble roots in Cleveland, Ohio. This morning, I heard an interview with him. Along the way, he spoke of the ten or so jobs he found and quit before he began the struggle to be a comedian. One in particular I remember. He said, I was working this assembly line job but I was putting more time into entertaining and telling jokes, so I quit.  The job just wasn't him. Doesn't that describe our lives as transgender women and men?  The same as Steve Harvey, we just got tired of entertaining the world as someone we weren't?

Page Four:  The Back Page.  As always, I appreciate you all for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo-with out all of you- nothing else matters!!!!! (Well, maybe nothing else!) You don't have to be good-just be safe Connie!

How's That URL Working for Them?

Thanks Bobbie!

Hitting the Transitional Wall

Some say "You transition a little every day."  That's true, of course in everything. With or without HRT, my 65 year old body is radically different-in a radically different world.

In December here in Cyrsti's Condo, I wrote about the emotional turmoil I went through - right into what I call "hitting the walls." Plural, because it's all too complex to just call the process one wall. I'm fortunate enough to be with Liz- a person who in four plus years has been able to navigate the maze which has always been my noggin better than I can. As I wrote before, yesterday I asked the therapist if she and Liz had talked before I got there.

Although it's still a day to day process-my "passing privilege"  is more and more half full than half empty.  Of course with me, that presents another problem?  After my therapist was almost peeing down her leg telling me how presentable I looked yesterday - I said thanks of course-but....looking ahead at the final public transitional goal of just going stealth, where does that leave me?  If all of the sudden, I am not a trans person in the world-just one of everyone else? And that matters how?

About that time, I'm sure even though she couldn't say it, the therapist was thinking WTH? Isn't that the point? After discussion, the best I could come up with her and Liz is, all the years of being paranoiac about appearance being the only goal of going out-the vestiges are still with me. I have not transitioned past all of that yet.

Perhaps, I never will- I will let you know.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature cover today is the beautiful MtF transgender woman Kristen Taylor

Cyrsti's Condo "Woman of the Day"

Our feature over is feeling blue. She is  Ketrine Lakrine MtF transgender woman from Russia.

Loving Being Wrong for all the Right Reasons

I am rather "persistent" some would call it stubborn?  They are wrong-right?

Regardless of all the word play, there is a good reason for this Cyrsti's post.  Catching you all up on the latest news on my Veteran's Administration front-the last time I left you, I was discussing fighting with them again about not providing me outside endocrinologist care.  By VA doctrine they are supposed to. Knowing the system, I knew I should be able to win again by pounding on the system.  Pay for my outside care bill or provide me in house care.  Earlier this week, after only two months and two zillion calls, I was surprised with the news that not only were they paying for my Sept. outside Doc visit-they were making me an in house appointment next week.  Not bad, it only took me three years.

Now, on to the wrong/right subject.  Today, I had a second monthly appointment with a VA therapist to make sure my inner clock wasn't getting wound too tight.  I went to the first appointment as what is left of my boy self. For some unknown reason, I was going off the deep end agonizing about doing it again. (I am very good at making problems for myself where there aren't any.) Finally, I sat down with Liz and talked it out.  She told me beyond any shadow of a doubt to hitch up my big girl panties and don't go in male drag.  So I didn't and had a great session.  The therapist quite simply said if she never had a chance to meet the true me, how could she do her job.

By the time I was done with my session, I called Liz up and asked if she and the therapist had compared notes?  Plus maybe I may have told Liz she was right-kind of!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Cyrsti's Condo "Movie Trivia"

Darth Vader: "Luke I am your father and this is what I really wore under that robe!"

Professional Woman's Night Out

My partner Liz is a member of several "Meet Up" groups in Cincinnati.  Last night she took me along to her Professional Women's Meetup dinner last night. 

As always, I had very little idea of what to expect. 

At the least though, I should have expected the self introductions when everyone around the table introduced themselves.  Of course, where I was sitting, I was second to speak.  I am not new to introducing myself and anymore, not shy about doing it. I essentially said, "Hello I'm Cyrsti Hart, I am a transgender woman, blogger and writer. Needless to say, I was beginning to receive a little more attention by this time.  My biggest mistake was not bringing enough of my Stilettos on Thin Ice book promo cards as most everyone wanted one. 

As far as the rest of the meet up went, I was flattered to be among such a group of interesting accomplished women.  Accountants, Attorneys, Artisans and all.  My gender take on the evening was, women as a group tended not to talk about the success of their business's as much as giving them a gentle networking nudge.  All the time, they were mixing in tons of "soft" info about where they live, have lived or plan to live.  Of course. I didn't expect a male dominated "sledge hammer" networking approach either, so for the most part (for once) I was quiet and learned.

The most wonderful part of the evening when I walked away from the experience with yet more knowledge of the gender path I was taking.  I'm most appreciative to my partner Liz for taking me and  to the women around the table who welcomed me into their circle!