Historical Blond

Ironically I ran across two pictures in one day which illustrated my "blond days."

The first is a picture of a person in a wig very reminiscent of one of my first "real wigs."  For some reason, one of the beauty parlors I used to walk by all the time had a wig in the window (between all the ultra short conservative wigs) which looked just like the one on the left.

I was in love but could not figure how I could ever build up the courage or the funds to buy it.  Through a complex series of happenings finally I was able to convince my then fiance to buy it and then I "appropriated" it.  All of this process occurred in the early 1970's when I was still in college and looking dead ahead at being drafted into the Army.

I called the process years later a common one for a vast majority of cross dressers I knew.  Wasn't being the blond "bombshell" everyone's ideal?  Can't speak for "everyone", but it was mine. I ended up keeping the wig much longer than my fiance who dived on me when I went into the military.  (True Love?)

Years later, in the picture you see to the right was blond wig I literally wore out as I was solidifying myself as a feminine person. (Before, I would spend a week as a blond, the next as a redhead, etc.)

Ironically, deep down, I knew that my hair color (blond or not) should be tied in to my complexion not fantasy. Especially, if I was to be successful in my quest to live in a feminine world.

Now of course, since I have "inherited" all of my real hair, I'm able to play in the "real hair" world of women.  Essentially, dark hair in the winter and lighter in the summer. Through the miracle of hair colors I'm able to go back to my roots (and color them). My natural air color before the gray sat in was nearly black but I have a heritage of red heads from my Mom's side of the family.

Somewhere admist all of that though the old blond love affair still exists.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Heads up kids, another Sunday Edition of the Condo has hit your front porch!  It's our pre-Christmas edition!

Page 1-The Week that Was-or Wasn't.  Last week, we discussed the effect of good or bad publicity on the transgender world.  Very simply, there can't be enough of good P.R. - until we don't need the "pub" at all.  Essentially,  a time when our whole community goes stealth. A time when we don't commit suicide at a higher rate, people don't harm us at a higher rate and we enjoy the same rights as any other American.

Page 2.- The CIA Comes Out? I'm just a geek and when I am directed to (Andee) LGBT news releases I had no knowledge of.- I get interested. Especially  if the news comes from one of the most unlikely places I can consider-the CIA. The much maligned agency is actually making strides in establishing a diverse culture.  From CIA Deputy Director Avril Haines:

Haines also highlighted the tremendous strides that CIA has made in reaching out to members of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) community across the country and in fostering an inclusive workforce, an initiative that was showcased this summer in interviews with seven LGBT Agency officers with the nation’s leading LGBT magazine, The Advocate. As one officer highlighted, “We are to the point…where there is simply no need to hide who you are, to be in the closet, to worry about what other people think about you, or what the potential career impact would be if you were an openly gay person.”

My point is, unlike most other major corporations, the CIA has recognized the worth of a person's skills-not their gender or sexual orientation.

Page 3.-Holiday's 2014 In just a couple more days, Christmas will have come and gone and 2015 will be right around the door.  Every year it is a time to stop and reflect what the year past meant to us and what the year coming up could mean to us.  On the other hand, it's a time to step out in our holiday finest, or being envious of the generics around you who do. May all of you get a chance to express yourself!!!

Page 4.- The Back Page.  Coming up, I'm going to be passing along Liz and I's New Year's Eve plans and yes, a very limited round of New Year's resolutions! Thanks to all for stopping by the "Condo" ...Peace!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Woman of the Day"

Our feature cover today is MtF androgynous Russian model Ivan Rastrepin

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Woman of the Day"

Our feature cover today is MtF transgender model Cammie Galloway rocking a vintage look!

Playing the "Angles?"

When you live in the United States, a lot happens.  Some of which are behind most of the big headlines. Until a week or so ago, I had no idea of any LGBT influence within an agency such as the CIA. When the agency came under scrutiny for it's handling of prisoners in the post 9-11 times.  If you remember, (at the time) one of Cyrsti's Condo readers passed along a Director of Intelligence presentation


Now she passed along unique look at behind the scenes from the Advocate:  I'm going to pass along a few excerpts: Not too long ago, openly LGBT people were denied federal security clearances. These days, the CIA has an extensive strategy in place to help trans employees confirm their gender expression.
The article goes on to tell the experience of Jenny
 (who declined to give her full name or official title, citing security concerns, in a phone interview with The Advocate) lived as a woman among friends and family but had to don what she calls male drag when she reported to work. It wore on her.

“While we’re undercover, we pledge to be honest with ourselves and the agency,” Jenny says.
In fact, the words “You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free” are engraved on the wall in the main building of the CIA. Jenny says everyone there takes that quote seriously.

“I write memos for the highest customers in the country — for the president — and we try to speak truth to power,” she continues. “But if we can’t be authentic and truthful about ourselves, then that’s a real problem.”

Jenny worked with her immediate supervisors, members of the agency’s LGBT employee affinity group (the Agency Network for Gay and Lesbian Employees, or ANGLE), and a dedicated senior officer with the agency’s human resources department. She and her colleagues reviewed the latest federal guidelines around transgender employees and set out on what would be a two-year journey to support Jenny living and working as her authentic self.

It turns out we have a Cyrsti's Condo blog visitor who was a part of the Angle group.  Andee!!! Thanks again for your input!!!

Follow the link above for more.

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

So All "Pub" Is Not Good "Pub?"

By "Pub" I am referring to "Publicity", specifically transgender pub.

Michelle and Pat responded to our recent Cyrsti's Condo post on the rise of positive transgender role models and shows on TV.  Appropriately both mentioned we all still suffer from the negative story too and Michelle even looked forward to the day when we trans folk are not news simply when we walk on to a podium or stage.

On occasion, I can be a visionary and see it happening, on others, my vision is not so good.  I would suppose the process depends exactly where you live. Yesterday was one of those days I agreed with Michelle's hopes as it was my time to shine in the waiting room of my small local Veterans Administration clinic. I was there for my yearly therapist "check up" with the VA and I was deemed "so interesting" that I was essentially tag teamed. One was a "meds" specialist, the other "lifestyle."

I didn't set out to become, well- publicity.  In my local clinic-I still do my best to butch it up.  It is tough anymore because of my mane of long hair and HRT softened skin. Once I get to the staff, I'm not fooling anyone anyhow, I'm fairly sure all of the clinic's small staff (maybe 3 docs and 12 nurses etc) know of "me" and really have gone out of their way to respect my transition. I have heard "rumors" of other transgender patients in the Dayton, Ohio hospital center but of course I have never met one.

The patients in the waiting room are a different matter. The process at times gets to be rather humorous. I get looks from everyone, especially the generics. I think "get over my hair! Bitches!!!"

Fast forward the process to my therapist appointments.  Both went so far as to not use a first name with me at all when then called me in. Med therapist was predictably dry, but lifestyle therapist was interesting.  At one point she was even apologizing for Ohio's supposed resistance to LGBT culture in any form. (Outside of Columbus.)  I jumped into educational mode and told her about the advances in our part of the state in cities such as Cincinnati and nearby Dayton. Thankfully, all my visits went well and I left hoping I was able to leave as much positive "Pub" as I could for the cause.

I'm not naive enough to think we now we are not doing anymore than scratching the surface of transgender acceptance.  I equate the process to a version of urban guerrilla warfare, a door to door - person to person battle. We are just going to have to make sure we tip the good publicity scale to the max and win the battles and the war..

Trans Girls Night Out

I have a dear transgender woman friend I mention here in Cyrsti's Condo often. Lately we have been able to get together every other week or so.  Last night was one of those nights.

Naturally, the chance to interact one on one with another trans girl is special- period.  We share the unique bond of the lives we lead.  No matter what anyone else thinks of us (pro or con) we are living the life we so desperately wanted.

We always meet in a beer tap house/restaurant and sit at the bar and chat.  I've been a regular  for over seven years and have in many ways transitioned in front of a couple of their long term bartenders. In fact two of them remember me when I used to come in there as a guy with my deceased wife who used to work nearby. So meeting my friend there is a natural since I have been accepted for so long and now she is too.

She is significantly ahead of me in her transition in many ways and behind in others.  She is 40, I'm estimating on and off hormones for 15 years, tons of electrolysis, tall, slim and attractive. So attractive last night, the acoustical guitar singer playing was seriously flirting with her.  We even got a special mention to the "ladies at the bar" - we were the only ones.

The only transitional  area I believe she is behind me is she is finally putting full energy into being herself.  It's the place my partner Liz says I found myself in a year or so ago.  She says she found herself marveling at my feminine person coming out of her shell. Also,  I have been so fortunate to witness it in a transgender man friend I have. Of course I'm biased, but I don't see how even the biggest transgender detractors can ignore this.

Now my friend is working on changing her gender markers.  Drivers license done, except for a subtle screw job at the BMV when they added her very male middle name on a license marked "F".  Of course they did! I have no middle name on my male license at all.  Her next step, the legal name change, is in it's final stages.

Can't say I'm not more than a little envious and a much more than a ton frustrated. My plan still is to wait until I go through the turmoil of a final move in with Liz before I begin the gender marker journey. That kids, is a whole other story because you have to add the Medicare and Veteran's Administration systems to my markers, just to make sure I would have extra fun!

But real fun was what the two of us had last night.  I even volunteered to be her "wing girl"-if she buys the wings!

Dave, Darlene and Christmas

Darlene Love (New York Times Picture)

I feel a great loss coming.  In May, David Letterman is calling it quits.  Of all the late show hosts, Letterman represented to me - my generation.  I was too young for much of Johnny Carson, Jay Leno was OK, but Letterman who hails from neighboring Indiana, was just right.

I feel old when I think another of my generation is moving on but tonight, I will be sobbing like a baby girl as Darlene Love sings her "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) song for the final time tonight. Darlene Love is 73 and still can wail! The song is an original from a Phil Spector produced 1963 Christmas Album.


If you aren't in a place to see David Letterman's show, take the time to get on YouTube and watch Darlene Love put broken down pretenders like Mariah Carey in her Christmas dust!