The Trans "Big Three?"

Candy Magazine is marking it's 5th anniversary and  has revealed a fold-out spread which features 14 transgender role models and leading trans activists, including the gorgeous quartet of Laverne Cox, Janet Mock, and Carmen Carrera taking center stage.  For a closer look-go OUT-here

Not surprisingly, the Cyrsti's Condo post "Is Cross Dressing a Gateway Drug?" has brought in comments-and good ones!
I'm going to try to condense them in this post.

1. Paula GoodwinDecember 15, 2014 at 7:59 AM

   This is along the lines of "it's just about the clothes" the only way to find out is to do it, but the big question has to be why we enjoy the clothes, is it simply because we want to experience the clothes at a more intimate level than just looking, or is it because it's the way we can experience womanhood. ~ we can only work that out for ourselves, and part of that working out process involves the cross dressing stage.
2. 
   joanna SantosDecember 15, 2014 at 8:02 AM

   I can relate to this topic very much Cyrsti and it is not an obvious distinction to make. In fact the person themselves does not know where they fit into the spectrum until much reflection has been made. Perhaps the best thing is to let much time go by before committing to anything and find your comfort level as you go. Once you reach it you know where you can stop. After all this process should be organic.
   
   Joanna
3. 
   Pat ScalesDecember 15, 2014 at 12:35 PM

   Perhaps crossdressing is a gateway drug for some but not for others. I like being a CD. I can probably come up with a long list of things I like about being CD. I am also rather pleased with being a guy for the past 6+ decades and being happily married to a wonderful woman for the past 4+ decades. I know that there are multiple aspects to who I am, what I like, who do I relate with, how do I relate with them and how can I go about making the most of my situation and go about making life and experience with others bettter.
   I count myself as fortunate in that I can deal with my dressing and gender issues as being one part of who I am. I tend to try to avoid labeling myself and others since there are few labels that are one size fits all. Yes I am CD. Yes, I am a guy. I also work full time and have a work life and position that impacts many people.. I also drive a car and golf and occasionally ski. I do lots of things and try to think in terms of what I am doing rather than defining myself as what I may be.
   Pat

Well, I couldn't write it better than these three ladies did! Thanks to all!  As always though, I am going to take this all another step in a future post.

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Oscar Wilde: “An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy.” Scare us with yours.

Cyrsti's Condo "Star Reading"

All of us "Libra-ites" do not have a particularly exciting astrological "smootch" this week:  (September 23-October 22): Mixing of family, friends and your honey will have you short circuiting, as you’ll have to switch faces and be able to pull off a seamless performance. Yes, your charm will be put to good use, but beware of those that always look to step over the line and raise the ire in you. Sorry to say, at the end of the year, this is always part of the crap you’re going to have to put up with.

On the other hand, find a Cancer to hang out with this week:  (June 21-July 22): The mistletoe must be up, because you’ll need to be closer to your baby or any warm body that brings on sweet feelings. Love will be on your mind and commitment is getting more real. The fears you once held will now seem to be outdated. This week, a new age begins for you, one in which there are rainbows and even a few unicorns.



Hop on over to theFrisky for your "star-date"!

Is Cross Dressing a Gateway Drug?

Quite the subject.  many would suggest and have-that the mere act of putting on women's clothes leads people like me to where I am today.  Not unlike saying smoking weed leads to heroin.

I only suggest cross dressing doesn't take over a life, it takes you to where you can make a educated gender choice. My real point is - in my case at least, I found- I knew without a doubt I was doing the right thing.  On the other hand a comment I received recently through Google+ from J Spurling brought me back to my paranoia of accepting myself as transgender could indeed come from my cross dressing:

"I suppose that looking back, each phase built on the last.  Yet, it was always there under the surface, waiting for me to come to terms with it.  Now that I'm self accepting of this aspect, I'd like to say I'm not only a cross dresser, but fully transgender, yet I'm hesitant to self-diagnose.

As for how my wife has responded each time I broach the topic.  Initially, it was very vitriolic, she'd seen a professional psychologist on the TV state it was a man's way to ultimately dominate a woman. Wow, where did that come from, I searched and couldn't find anything like that short of Janis Raymond.  Last time she told me point blank to stop, and how would I like to be married to someone male...

For me that's a lot of pressure, because I'm all she has.  In a  sense Cyrsti, I'm going through what you went through.  So rather than self-diagnose and also to seek some coping skills, I'm going to start seeing a councilor who's experienced with our issues. "


Indeed "J" we are walking a similar path.  For the longest time, I equated any so called "cross dressing" success I had as another possible step towards going full time.  Looking back, I desperately needed someone to tell me would living 24/7 in a feminine world be "what the doctor ordered?" Yes-No? Also, at some point, I considered I was addicted to the thrill of cross dressing.  Ironically, this idea was instilled in my noggin by a firefighter friend who equated the experience with the "rush" of fighting a fire.  She turned out to be really addicted because she ended up going through SRS.


So, no, being a cross dresser will not lead you down the path to being a transgender woman or man. The process just gives you an idea if you truly want to.  Keep in mind being gender dysphoric is a huge difference than just wanting to look like a woman.

2015 The Trans Central Year?

2014 brought many positive changes to the transgender community, fortunately too numerous to mention. For the first time we saw trans women (Laverne Cox and Jazz) making it into most influential woman categories.  All of a sudden, the mere act of being born female with a vagina does not equate with the essence of becoming a woman. At the least, a very scary thought for many traditional binary thinkers.  Making the process even more difficult for those folks is it's looking like even more are in store for the future!


Here is one from the "Hollywood Reporter" : 
"ABC Family is continuing its push into the unscripted arena with a big swing.

The Disney-owned cable network has handed out a straight-to-series pickup for My Transparent Life, The Hollywood Reporter has learned.
The docuseries, from Ryan Seacrest Productions, centers on a teen named Ben who learns his parents are not only getting a divorce, but also that his father is becoming a woman.

The series will intimately follow Ben, his family and friends as they support each other through the unexpected journey and watch Charlie slowly become Carly, as she experiences the many stages of her transition from male to female. The show is described as a generational story of a loving family and circle of friends, supporting each other through the unfamiliar and unexpected situation."

Of course all of this is following the success of the Amazon series Transparent with Jeffrey Tambor (left).  For a start, I love the fact Tambor loves the part and is in many ways a truer portrayal of how most of us are able to visually transition. After all, we all can't look like Carmen Carerra, Janet Mock or Andreja Pejic. The best is yet to come!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Woman of the Day"

Our feature cover transgender woman today is Efe Bal the MtF Italian model.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!!!" Another issue of the Condo's "Sunday Edition" has hit your virtual front porch. Curl up in those warm jammies (Pajamas) of yours and lets get started!


Page One: The Week That Was-or Wasn't.  Late in the week, we took a look into the fragile and sometimes tragic circumstances of a relationship working to exist when the binary male needs to live a feminine lifestyle. Many times to be able to live at all.  Here is yet another great comment from Angela Kay : 

Angela KayDecember 13, 2014 at 5:41 PM

"Pat and I have a lot in common. My wife is very supportive of 'Angie' and has raised no objection to my HRT, but she lives in constant fear of the neighbors finding out and ostracizing her. I tell her that they're more likely to feel sorry for her, but she's not prepared to take the risk. This presents real problems as I live over 80% of my time as Angie. My solution is to do my own shopping and socializing in nearby towns where I'm not known; if we go into our own little town, it's always as husband and wife. I've written quite a lot about this in my own blog. It's not an ideal way to live, but it's a reasonable compromise and it seems to work for us.

By the way, I'm an English girl and had no idea what a 'condo' was until I looked it up on Wikipedia. See – I grow a little wiser every day!"

Thanks Angie! -I struggle to get a little wiser every day!  As far as your wife goes and many generics-worrying may just come with the territory.  Speaking only for me, my amount of "worry" has increased substantially on HRT.

Page Two: Cyrsti's Soapbox.  Just as I was preparing myself for an extended rant about the **Veterans Administration messing with my HRT treatment, seemingly, the "ship was righted" (even though I was in the Army-not the Navy).  After approximately nine phone calls and a threat to camp out in their offices, a person actually told me how to solve the problem.  The problem may now well become the solution seemed to be too easy.  Also last week, I was surprised and amused at how a "transitioning" email had made it to one of my in boxes.  Turns out it was coming from the CIA who does recruit American military veterans (for obvious reasons).  Seeing as how years ago I had signed up for a veteran job search site, I got the email too late! I started transitioning years ago.

Page Three: Just What the Hell is a?  Angie's comment about not knowing what a "Condo" was across the pond, again slapped me up the side of the head.  I say again because I'm am old school and forget this not so "new fangled" thing call the internet is world wide. So, sometimes when I write about something, I'm assuming most all of you know what I'm talking about.  The CIA is an example. Most in the world know of the American "Central Intelligence Agency" as I have heard of British M16 Intelligence Agency or "Scotland Yard." But then again, if I don't explain myself, I could be writing about the "Culinary Institute of America." Then again, many of you may wonder what I'm referring to when I mention the Veterans Administration. Basically, this is their mandate:  The US Department of Veterans Affairs provides patient care and federal benefits to veterans and their dependents.  The agency's name is commonly abbreviated to "VA". 
Page 4.- The Back Page: Before we call this a wrap and move on, I would like to thank Andee again for a link she sent in which goes into a speech about the history of the LGBT community from the Office of National Intelligence.  As a group we truly have and will be everywhere! 


Hey! Y'all have a good week and thanks bunches for taking your valuable time to stop by Cyrsti's Condo!

It's OK-But Not With My Man!

I received a couple wonderful comments on my previous Cyrsti's Condo  post which mainly revolved around cross dressers or transgender women who are married to generics. One from Paula Goodwin:

Paula GoodwinDecember 13, 2014 at 5:04 AM

There is so much that I could comment on here, but I think maybe that would be better as a post soon on Paula's Place. I just want to say that I am a Christian and it does not preclude my lifestyle, my wife is also a Christian and thinks that it does. Faith can either reinforce or challenge our ideas depending on how we approach it.

Paula, I am a baptized Methodist, and using Christianity to hate on us is one of my height of hypocrisies...but it is too big and too polarizing to discuss here.

Then: 

MichellewhoisDecember 12, 2014 at 9:27 AM

There are many of us out there that have spouses that are willing to allow us to be who we are as long as we don't out ourselves. I think that for many of those spouses, it may be a bit of selfishness that they don't want others to see that they have a feminine male living with them. I know that many women want to have men that other women look at and see masculinity dropping from them. They don't want anyone to know that they live with someone that society looks at as some kind of pervert. Maybe one day, people in general will finally accept that everyone must live their lives as they see fit and not by someone else's rules.

Yay Michelle!  What would the family and the girlfriends say if "hubby" showed up in dress, hose and heels to the family holiday?  I think many don't give enough credit to the generic ego.  As much as sitting around about dreaming about weddings, rings, dresses etc.-somewhere there has to be a husband involved. 

It takes "two to tango" of course and how many cross dressers and or transgender women along the way hoped marriage would "cure" them?  On the other side, generics are well known "fixers" and so many times don't ever realize there is no "cure" to what ails us. Dare I say, a spouse can be a huge part of the ail. 

Ironically now, the three closest generics in my life don't understand my wife's feelings about my transgender leanings.  Cross dressing was fine, but as soon as HRT was brought in-we were done.  I have told all three of them she was living up to her part of the marriage deal.  Did not want to live with another woman.  Case closed. I mean, really closed when she passed away.

Finally Michelle, I equate your comment about women wanting men with masculinity dropping off of them to society- and the well known generic attraction to the "bad boy."

We can be "bad" just not in the traditional sense!