In the Passing Lane

"Back in the day", being able to navigate the public as a woman with no problems was called passing, then the transgender PC term became presenting and now Janet Mock cleared the air about both.

We have talked a little about Mock's new book called "Redefining Realness" here in Cyrsti's Condo but since I haven't read it yet, I'm restricted to what I can find on line about it.

Recently, I did find her YouTube video on "passing".  Cutting to the chase, what she says of course is so true. "I'm (Janet) am not passing as anything, I'm just me."  I already know what most of you are thinking. If the rest of us even came close to looking like she does, we wouldn't have to worry about passing any how!

The reason I believe those thoughts are wrong is, sure Janet Mock is gorgeous but regardless, she stepped up and out to speak for the rest of us and said a lot. All of the sudden,  transsexual, transgender or cross dresser,  you  had a person of substance (not going stealth) speaking for you.

On a much smaller level than Janet Mock, I can attest about how much my transgender world opened as soon as I owned up to who I am. Plus, we have had regular contributors to the "Condo" ( Pat)  attest to it too.

Now, let's take a look at Cyrsti's Condo big screen for what Janet Mock had to say on passing:

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our featured Cover Girl today in the "Condo" is Sheila Verissimo

Cyrsti's Condo "Book Nook"

I mentioned Bobbie Thompson's upcoming book "My Husband Looks Better in Lingerie Than I Do...Dammit" not so long ago here in the "Condo". Well, it's not upcoming any more! Here's a look:

Bobbie Thompson, the supportive spouse of a transgender male-to-female, tells her side of their story in "My HUSBAND Looks Better in Lingerie Than I Do ... DAMN IT," in this companion memoir to "Hung in the Middle: A Journey of Gender Discovery," (www.hunginthemiddle.com) written by her spouse, Alana Nicole Sholar. After knowing 'him' for nearly 25 years, and even sharing a three-year intimate relationship in the mid-1990's, upon seeing 'her' for the first time in 2006, Bobbie was freaked out and didn't want to have anything to do with 'her.' 

Two years later, December 31, 2008, they were married. But marriage was only the beginning of this wild and wonderful ride they share called life. Often when Bobbie shares with others that her spouse is transgender she is asked, "Why in the world would you choose to be married to someone like that." "My HUSBAND Looks Better in Lingerie Than I Do ... DAMN IT" answers that question and further explains theirs is a happy marriage, although they face the same pitfalls faced in any marriage, such as financial difficulties, in addition to many situations other marriages may never encounter, such as Alana being diagnosed as HIV positive. 

Bobbie's is a transition story ... not a story of physical transition as are most stories about transgender persons, but a story of transition of perspective ... from ignorance and misunderstanding to educated and informed. Bobbie and Alana still live in the same rural Kentucky town where they both grew up ... only Alana grew up there as a male. "My HUSBAND Looks Better in Lingerie Than I Do ... DAMN IT," not only shares true experiences and lessons learned from those experiences, but is a life transforming love story.

Go here to Amazon to order your copy!

Two Female Impersonation Classics

Any more, you have to be a "little more mature" to even remember the use of the "female impersonation" term.

Much of the time, it was even considered to be an art form.

This first picture is of William Reynolds (left) who is up to no good robbing a group of women in a theater powder room of their jewelry. William along with another impersonator got off of work in a club they worked in to do the heist in the 1951 movie "No Questions Asked".

Before you scramble to rent it, the drag scene is actually a small part of the movie.  Also it is shown every now and then on the Turner Classic Movie Channel. As you can see though, Reynolds is good.


The second featured female impersonator is Laverne Cummings (above right)  who as you can see was one of the classic performers of all times!

"Wing Girl"?

No sillies, not eating wings and staining your new manicures, I'm talking about trying to set up a lesbian friend with another lesbian in a bar.

I have a friend who playfully asked me why I couldn't have done just that for her one night when she was hot on the track of a femme blond in this gay venue we were in.  We all know, often, when someone "playfully" asks something - they mean it.  Especially when its a genetic woman who is asking.  Of course, at the time, I was a little slow on the uptake and didn't do it but began to think why couldn't I? This could be another one of those ultra unique "bucket list" opportunities to experience like a bachelorlette party.

Why this falls into my lap is, my friend does not have a partner. When events come up where she is sure will have a number of lesbians in attendance, she wants to drag me along (no pun intended).  So, I'm sure I will have a chance to be a "wing girl" in the future.  Of course I wondered how I would even go about doing it.  Looking back, I don't even think I did the "wing thing" as a guy.

Finally, I came to the conclusion the process may be easier.  Number one, she is femme and attractive which should open her availability up in the room and number two, as a transgender girl-I would certainly open the door quickly or slam it shut.  Either way, it would be simpler than sitting there watching her squirm in her seat about approaching someone. Plus, the more secure I am with my feminine self, the less shy I am! I would have no problem asking someone else to please talk to my friend because she is driving me nuts!

So, the next time she asks for a "wing girl" I'm taking flight.

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Too Much Style for One Gender

A "Cyrsti's Condo" Pick-Pic!

"Your Type" Can NOT Come IN

Perhaps you have heard of Helen Boyd.  Her books, including My Husband Betty would be one of my choices to give to a spouse when you are coming out for the first time as a cross dresser or transgender woman.

Her blog is called En Gender and a recent post called UnValentine caught my eye.  Evidently she wrote it when her and her partner were not welcomed in a "woman's only" space.  Here's an excerpt:

Why should someone’s transition negate the partner’s identity as a lesbian? The whole idea that they wouldn't “look like” a lesbian couple is infuriating – the same argument was made against butch/femme couples back in the day. 

 Here’s the thing: as a community, could we maybe start to acknowledge that people transition, and that they have histories, and identities, and life experiences, all of which may not tidily map onto our models of “straight” and “gay”? Can we allow trans couples to decide how to negotiate their own identities as individuals and couples instead of everyone else telling us where we belong? Can a trans guy honor his own past and his relationship’s past without other trans men telling him he’s sold out his gender and trans people everywhere? 

Are lesbians really not used to guys transitioning yet? A little compassion would be awesome from groups who are now and who have been, historically, excluded discreetly and explicitly, kindly and hatefully. Trans partners are often a wrench in the homo/hetero works, but sometimes we get eaten by the gears. 

Well said! For more, go here.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our featured "Cover Girl" is transgender model Naam