Transgender Vets Wanted

"Calling all transgender veterans! The Office of Patient Care Services from veteran’s Health Administration is looking for 3-4 transgender veterans to appear in an educational program for VA clinical staff on providing excellent, culturally appropriate health care to transgender veterans. According to The Office of Patient Care Services from Veteran’s Health Administration, “We are looking for a diverse group of Veterans of different ages, ethnicities, gender, and branch of military service. Participation will involve providing first-person accounts of lived experience and perhaps role-playing a VA patient with an actor-clinician on video.”
Auditions and recordings will be held at the St. Louis Employee Education Resource Center VA Medical Center, Bldg. # 48 in St. Louis. Auditions and casting are scheduled for Monday, December 2nd beginning 8:00-11:00 am and 12:00-2:00 pm. Video recording is planned for Monday, December 2nd 2:00-4:30 pm with additional video recordings scheduled for Tuesday, December 3rd from 9:00 am-4:30 pm. Participation in the project is purely voluntary and those who are interested in auditioning can contact Elizabeth Bowling at (314) 894-6540 with questions or concerns."

 Unfortunately, I live a long way from St. Louis!

Transition by Definition

Several years ago, we ran a post here in Cyrsti's Condo called Beyond Transition. At that time I mentioned I had a few more thoughts to share on the matter.  I was curious to see how many (if any) of my ideas had changed over the years:

"Beyond Transition" is a huge idea to be sure. I look at transition as a passage from point "a" to point "b".  When I look at the transgender community as a whole, does anyone ever really get to point "b"? My only point of reference is when I'm out with friends and I lose any sense of gender. I simply just am who I am. Have I transitioned, am I done? Am I the same as a transsexual woman who has gone through SRS and lives her life with no fanfare down your street? Could be...or not.

Although I have not had the surgeries the trans woman down the street has had, would her transition qualify as being more complete?  Probably not. In essence if either of us is facing taking estrogen till the day we die, we are still transitioning.  Perhaps the only defining separation is one of us is determined to talk about our life to hopefully lend some guidance to others - the other not and that's fine too.

On the other hand transitioning does imply a certain series of events.  The external move from gender "a" to "b" is very clear. You decide you need to change to live, you begin to socialize yourself in your non birth gender, you decide you want to ingest chemicals into your body to further the process and you go "under the knife" to complete any physical changes you may deem necessary. This black and white process looks very good on paper and especially works well with a male mind but often runs into problems with the mental processes.

In my case, some would assume I already have the problems with my mental processes, so it's been damn difficult on occasion to sort out what is coming from where.  An example is years ago on my first visit to a "gender therapist", she asked if I had any problems with my cross dressing. I said no but I did have problems on the effect it was having on my marriage.  To make a long expensive story short, the only good result of the visits was that she diagnosed me with a very clear bi-polar disorder.

So I guess transitioning is in the mind of the beholder.  The TS woman down the street may be "snug as a bug in the rug" in her stealth life.  On the other hand, I don't think I have ever been snug at anything. If the river is calm, bring me a boat to rock to see if I can tip it in my heels. Plus I hope I never lose the wonder of where this life has taken me.

Years ago when Uncle Sam let me go after three glorious years, I was discharged at Ft. Dix in New Jersey where my car was waiting from Germany.  I threw my duffel bag in the back seat of my 1973 VW Beetle and headed home to Ohio.  The next morning was clear, blue and beautiful when I got onto the Pennsylvania turnpike.  Just for a split second at a toll booth on a hill and had a chance to look at the road in the valley ahead. What a rush of freedom it was!  I thought I would never have a chance to reclaim that moment again but guess what - I'm close. Never say never.

So I guess my transition will only end when I depart this life and I look back and think how crazy it was that being transgender was so earth shattering. I will get back to you on that!

Waaaassss-up?

It's been a minute since I have caught all of you up on all my latest HRT updates.

Knock on my wooden head but all is still very much on track.  Next Friday I have another appointment with my endocrinologist and I hope to resume my conversation with him concerning breast development.  I know HRT can only take me so far and by mutual consent both of us decided to let the hormones take their course for awhile before we make any other decisions. Quite frankly some days I think the process is moving along well and others...not so much. For whatever reason I can tell the most when I wake up in the morning.

As you recall, I go through the Veteran's Administration for my treatment and after a brief struggle they did pay for my endo doc visit this last time and I told them they did need to approve this one coming up. The VA still prefers the assumption my transgender "condition" is somewhat day to day and each appointment should be approved the same way. Of course, I always tell them as soon as they get someone in house to approve my meds, they won't have to approve anymore outside treatment.  Believe me, I am not complaining though and I have even mastered the on line VA health site. On it I can download all my latest blood work, print it and take it with me, including my prescriptions.

I'm far from an expert but my blood levels seem to be in range of the norm in all key areas except my Testosterone which is low. I better get to my local "Low T" center immediately!

The only other issue is the fact the Doc tells me he is prescribing one thing and the VA is filling another. That is his fault and I will resolve the issue this time by having him read the prescription to me. Ironically, another transgender girl friend of mine has an appointment just before me that morning and I told her not to aggravate him before I get a chance to see him.

Finally getting back to the body issues, I'm really beginning to see a change in my hips as evidenced by the fit of a new set of leggings I just bought.  To offset that though is I'm going through another stage of wanting to eat everything including the wall paper and my cat. Have you heard that saying, "a minute on the lips... a lifetime on the hips?" Well if it just was that, I would be OK but it's still going everywhere else too. Plus if you haven't figured it out yet, there is a real reason genetic women obsess about a diet all the time.  HRT helps you put the weight on but then makes it tough to take it off as you transition into a  feminine metabolism.

So there you go kids, our Cyrsti's Condo Waaassss-up update!

Cyrsti's Condo "Beauty Nook"

Gasp! What will they think of next? Here's an idea from Yahoo Shine:


"Nude heels are great, right? They lengthen the legs, match all kinds of colors and patterns, and can be daytime casual or black-tie jazzy. The only problem is making sure that you yourself are the “correct” shade of nude. For years, a debate has raged between design houses and their consumers: What is a “nude” shoe? In a move that’s both socially conscious — directly addressing the elephant in the room that others are ignoring — and business savvy, Christian Louboutin recently launched a first-of-its-kind capsule collection of five classic

 Louboutin styles in five brand-new shades, specifically meant to complement skin tones of all ethnicities. They range from pale pink-ivory to deep chestnut, with the goal that one of them will “closely match the color of a customer's skin tone.” Louboutin's red-soled, perfectly curved creations are designed to “disappear like magic and become a fluid extension of her legs, as in a sketch, elongating the silhouette,” according to the designer's press release."

Wedding Bells in Cyrsti's Condo

Excuse me while I run out and get a box of tissues! Weddings make me cry, especially my own

I See You...Kind Of.

In the Cyrsti's Condo "We Gotz Mail" department Laine commented on our "You Are Glowing" post:

"That (aura idea) makes lots of sense. I know lots of people who picked up on who I am. One of them is a close friend who in some ways is really out there, although he tries to be a grounded, feet on the ground kind of guy. When I came out as trans, he confessed to me that he had always seen me as a woman, and was always confused as to why other people were referring to me with male pronouns and treating me like a man! In fact, when I thought back over our interactions, I realized that he had always treated me much more like a woman than a man.

 Other sensitive people have picked it up and noticed. I have some female friends who have always treated me as one of the girls. Even though I can pretend, it's really only the people that don't connect on that energy/spirit/heart level that really miss it. I don't get colors, but I do get feelings, and I've been able to tell with other people before. It's an amazing thing, and you're right, noticing it and paying attention to it helps to increase your sensitivity to it."

Thanks Laine!  If you start looking closer into this whole "aura" idea, many gender questions we have about ourselves make more sense.  It's like the young boy or girl whose parents are hoping "will outgrow" their transgender aura.  As we all know, that just isn't the case. To this day, I have one of the few male friends I have ever met who claims on occasion he was able to purge all his female belongings and not look back-but can't quite figure out why his bff's at work are two women who join him for lunch everyday.  I tell him he is one of the girls but he just says, "I'm known as the biggest bastard at work."

Like you and your friend Laine, those two women have connected to who my friend really is deep down inside and why wouldn't women be the most likely to connect?

During the mating/marriage courtship, it's primarily the women who have to sort out the relationships to see if they can find a mate and a match to live with. Plus in the everyday world a woman just has to develop an extra sense to insure her security.

I'm sure Laine, most of the more accomplished transgender readers here in the Condo would agree when you "tap" into your interior girl, aura is a more natural part of transitioning than we think. The fact remains, developing extra senses which could be lumped under the "women's intuition" definition is a very real deal.

Mamma Mia!

She will make someone a good wife someday! Cross dressin' n cookin' in the Cyrsti's Condo big screen kitchen:

What's in a Name?

You can call me Ray, or you can call me Jay, just don't call me he, sir or buddy and by the way my male name was not Chris!

Over the past couple of years the name game became "uber" important to me as I reworked my life and gender. Following a couple false starts with Cyrsti's Condo (Transnation), I finally said to hell with it and called this production a condo.  If you must know, the condo is actually a big 1860's vintage brick ex commercial building which has housed saloons, general stores and boarding houses over the years. Somehow I didn't think all of that would make for a catchy name!

I also faced the bigger decision on renaming myself to reflect my transitioning status from cross dresser to transgender woman. I was positive my long blond wigs and the name Roxie had to go.   Looking back on my decision, the only mistake I made was I really didn't give Cyrsti enough thought. Essentially,  I was looking for a middle of the road feminine name so I adopted Kristy and changed the spelling but "Jessie" would have been a better personal choice because it was a family name and I loved the sound of it.

The whole name game is one of the most interesting and important facets of our transitions.  In reality it matters not if you feminize your male name, borrow an old girlfriends, or adopt a family name. My only warning is to be careful, you may be surprised how quickly your new name can become entrenched in the world! There is no way possible now I could ever switch to Jessie!

Never say never, because I did!

So Many Answers - So Little Time

Three transgender women from Thailand have recently been seen performing at tourist spots throughout the south Chinese city of Guangzhou, according to a website run by the Guangming Daily. The three Thais have received a lot of public attention with their street performance, in which they show onlookers how to tell the difference between a real woman and a "lady boy."

My "X" rated mind went quickly into over drive with this question. It locked up and had to be re rebooted.