Lunch with the Girls

Yesterday I was invited to a quick lunch with my daughter and 12 year old grand daughter.  Both of know of my transgender status so the day was sort of special.  On the other hand, I'm doing some of the most butch hard labor I can do on my house, repairing a brick wall.  I hate it but I have been literally been putting it off for years and the unseasonably cool summer weather we have now makes it a "must do project". I suppose I will lose a couple much needed pounds in the process.

So, I am a little short of time to post to Cyrsti's Condo.  I learned some time ago, when in doubt, go to the archives and came up with this post from 10/5/2011 and just so happens to include my daughter and an appointment at the Veterans Administration:


"Today had to be my best birthday ever! My third visit to the VA therapist seeking a hormone permission letter was late in the afternoon. As I got ready to meet my daughter for a birthday breakfast, I received a text from a long time female friend who I have progressively come out to over the past couple months. She wished me a good birthday and a positive trip to the "Doc" which meant a lot! My breakfast with my daughter was very different. Almost immediately she asked me if I knew one of the performers in one of the top drag queen acts in the area. They are known as the "Rubi Girls" based out of Dayton, Ohio.

As it turns out I had seen their act (impressive) and actually knew one of the performer's employees. As surprising as this was, more surprising was the fact I was having the conversation with her at all. The rest of the breakfast was equally as good and I'm still not sure how I did so well in the daughter department.

On to the therapist appointment. We exchanged the usual "how's life" questions before I asked the magic question: "what reservations did she have about writing a permission letter?" She didn't hesitate and said she expected the question and pulled a file folder off her desk The folder contained the "Harry Benjamin Gender Dysphoria Care Standards". As we went through the highlights it seemed I met most all of the criteria. (I'm not exactly sure anyone but Harry understood them all.) She was very positive and said she would like to take one more step before writing the letter. The step was a final consultation about me with a very experienced gender specialist in Columbus. Ironically she is the same person I went to for help over 20 years ago.

I know "nothing is over until it's over" but I'm cautiously optimistic I will have the letter in two weeks at my next visit. My last (but far from least) stop of the day was a lite dinner date with a GF down in Cincinnati. Without getting too personal, it was a wonderful ending to a special day. On the trip home I was going pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming but I have a real aversion to pain and just made sure I wasn't driving up I-75 in a dream. I can guarantee you I-75 between Dayton and Cincinnati, Ohio is no place to be dreaming behind the wheel and I wasn't. The day was all so real and so wonderful!

And now it's back to reality and my bricks. Dammit, not good for the nails!

Young, Transgender and Together!

Louis (left) and Jamie

Young transgender couples have been in the news these days. The latest couple, a transgender woman and a transgender man are from Wales.

Louis Davies and Jamie Eagle are engaged and are waiting for gender reassignment surgery to be married.
The couple met when Louis invited Jamie to give a talk to his university group as he prepared to come out as transgender.


Then of course back on this side of the pond,  The simply adorable couple of Arin Andrews and Katie Hill are still gaining good press for the right reasons:


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Shopping with Gregory

Plan "B"

My thought was does "Plan B" always have to mean "bitch"? (Not my female dog!)

I'm going to pass along a link here in Cyrsti's Condo to indicate the answer just could be yes:

Already Plucked by Avery Edison. Follow the link bitches!!!! Just kidding!

I Joined

Here in Cyrsti's Condo, I always try to keep a close eye on any and all transgender veteran news I can find because most of you know I am a trans vet.

I did choose to stay out of the seemingly crazy story
of the requested resignation of OutServe-SLDN's newly appointed executive director, transgender Army veteran Allyson Robinson. (right)  Many more high-profile resignations followed in protest of Robinson's treatment.

Following this mess,  a recent press release  announced the formation of Service Members, Partners, Allies for Respect and Tolerance for All, or SPΛRT*A, a "group of LGBT people and allies who are currently serving or have served in the military, and our families," that is "especially committed to our Trans members… and to gaining full equality for them in the U.S. Armed Forces.

SPART*A's Facebook page is currently active, while a website for the fledgling group is still under construction.

One can only hope this group can gain traction and effect change against a huge obstacle - the U.S. Military. Follow the link above for more info!

Ch-Ch Changes

I hesitated about putting this YouTube video up on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen because it takes so long to actually get to the transition subject matter. Being the cynical bitch I am, I thought hell, two months on HRT could go by before this video gets rolling. But in the end it's worth the wait and a beautiful look at a transgender woman beginning to finally live her life:

How Much are YOU Worth?

"It's a privilege to be yourself, it's a job no one else can do." Iyanla Vanzant

I'm sure most of us of the transgender persuasion would argue how privileged we have been. I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo numerous times of how I wouldn't have wished the "ripping and tearing" I went through on anyone.

Finally, as I am coming out of the other end of the struggle, those very close to me are noticing the ownership I'm feeling in myself.

I suppose my process currently is similar to any other construction project. After a certain point you hope the work you put in begins to pay dividends. Any way you look at it, you are reconstructing your body when you go through HRT for any amount of time. More importantly though is the process of mentally owning the process and believing you are finally to a point when it is a privilege to be you.

I'm sure by now you are thinking all of this is all well and good for you Cyrsti but what's in it for me? Actually, a ton of warm and fuzzies if you can reprogram yourself from just two major misconceptions: The first is you are doing anything wrong. My saddest moments are when I remember all the guilt and torment I felt about gender over the years,  when in reality I probably never had a choice. The second is when you began to experience the outside world as a transgender woman, transgender man or a novice cross dresser. You will be certain to lose so much in the process if you focus totally on appearance and not ownership.

The only thought Iyanla may have added for good measure is life isn't forever,  but where ever you happen to be in the process, it's never too late to take control of yourself and your dreams."

An excellent way to increase your net worth.

Mean Girls On Oprah

I don't follow Oprah's OWN television network much and believe they must struggle for programming when they run re runs of Dr. Phil. Look I know Phil has been "her boy" from the beginning but his show has to be singled out as the most non diverse on television. But I digress.

Last night's show caught my attention:

"Oprah's Lifeclass (Season 2),  Oprah and Iyanla Vanzant discussed the Terrible Things Women Do to Each Other. More specifically they discussed why women do terrible things to one another. They identified the intention behind gossip and ways women can shift their behavior to create more positive, constructive interactions."

Of course I have discussed the dynamics of inter feminine interaction with you here in Cyrsti's Condo any number of times so I really wanted to hear their take on it. Iyanla had the best quote when she said:  "Comparison is an act of violence against yourself." The quote was used in context with the endless comparisons women use among themselves, primarily in appearance, family, spouses etc.

I wish I could come up with an epiphany or two from the show to pass along except Oprah and Iyanla seemed to believe the whole situation was getting worse with mean girls popping up now between the ages of eight to eighty.

From my gender perch on the fence, I see my spot as a transgender woman a true positive. I'm in on the "battles" but then again not. Having said that, I have told you about times I have been burnt by not keeping a closer eye on the women around me.

Perhaps I'm fortunate and don't have to play the comparison game with genetic women. I'm much more into the interaction process since it is still so new to me.

Finally, the bits and pieces of male thought processes I bring to the table should and does give me an advantage.  Sixty plus years of playing this back and forth transgender ping pong game has taught me something.

The only epiphanies I can pass along are be careful of finding yourself in a mean girl battle and being curled up with my chocolate/peanut butter cup ice cream was wonderful.

Follow the link above for more information of where and when you can see the show.

Time Flies When You are Writing a Blog!

I suppose it is not as bad when you miss one of your own anniversaries.

Time is going by so fast I missed the June 1, 2010 anniversary of Cyrsti's Condo! Little did I know where this effort would end up. Back then I barely knew what a blog was.

As I look back, I'm amazed at the changes we have been through together! I always have been humbled and flattered that all of you take the time to stop by.

As part of a belated birthday look at the past, I'm presenting of the original posts- which feels like a lifetime ago:


"Here is one of the stories I sent to a friend and she thought I should share so...Here" ya" go! Direct from alternate life style redneck bars , two stellar tales...of me being me. The first establishment basically was a female biker bar, not hardcore outlaw women, but a serious crew none the less. The best way I can describe the place was I got the juke box turned off one night when I played Shania Twane "Lord I feel like a Woman." No sense of humor...kind of like the urinal that was made into a planter. The best pick up line I heard was "you don't look half bad. Maybe I should take you with me and we can see what kind of time we could have." YAHOO. Me thinks that could have hurt! Back in those days my wife was still alive and I had to be home around midnight. She got off about that time and I had to be presentable with all signs of makeup gone. Believe me, no amount of jabbering would have saved my place in the house when I told her I was abducted by an alien lesbian.

A kinder and gentler lesbian bar also operated on the same side of town. I made friends there that I'm in touch with today. (5 years later) One night karaoke was the entertainment. Here she comes...burr haircut, cowboy hat and weighing in at a conservative 250. I'm in long blond hair, tight jeans and boots. It occurred to me quickly... it may be about time I started sharpening up my non existent singing skills. She did ask me to sing, she TOLD me to pick out a song. I thought "is this the way they treat girls in Texas?" I opted for the only song my male self destroyed after many beers...the romantic ballad "You don't have to call me Darling, Darling. You don't even call me by my name." David Allan Coe if you're familiar.(I think he wrote it in jail?) After we made sweet music (ha) she said "your voice is as low as mine!" I felt as if I was in a "Lola" song remake, just all twisted up. In this version, I was the guy and she was Lola. Well, I kind of was the guy and she was kind of the girl but backward... when and if she put me on her knee. I thought maybe I could outrun her if I took my boots off!

We parted friends (thank god!) and I don't truly know if she guessed my gender. I had never seen her before or after! Unfortunately all the pure lesbian bars are closed now in the area. How sad. I miss drinking free. But more importantly, I won't get to try out one of my top fantasies...female strippers in a lesbian bar! Dammit! Mo MO MO! as Billy Idol would say coming up!"

Billy was right, there was a freight car full of Mo,Mo,MO! coming up and hopefully there is much MO to come!