Needle in a Haystack

Let's face it, there are bunches of lonely people in the world and never more than in the transgender culture. Seemingly, we have a couple of strikes against us in the relationship arena before we ever get started.
Many of us have intense relationships which have been severed or destroyed by coming out as transgender women or men.
Then trans women have the unique tendency to be desired by men who are not so positively referred to as admirers.
What's a trans person to do?

We are at the mercy as any cis person in the dating world and we can meet people on line, in person or from other friends...supposedly. Remember, this is only my experience but I have never heard of one transgender friend hooking another up in a dating situation. I have had some success in meeting two of my friends at a sports venue pub and my serious relationship on line. Additionally, I have met several others I stay in contact with on line.

As with many other of my beliefs, I have a tendency to get push back from many people on my on line contact feelings. Most don't realize how many sites I was on and how many screw balls I filtered through to find the quality circle of friends I'm so happy to have now. I hear, well I tried "_____" site and got a bunch of idiots so now I sit here alone now.

I'm going to quote my gf again on our gay tour guide staring at my chest comment: "well the fun part is you attract all kinds".  And mention a chat I recently had with another trans girl I know. She has a man who wants to ask her out who she already knows to an extent. She believes he is a sweet guy.  Before I could think about it I was spouting the company line about "be careful dear" blah blah blah.
Of course we all should be careful as any woman should but why should my friend be denied a shot at happiness with a guy? The reason she could find happiness is that she is different.

I think the bottom line is with too many of us is that we want to jump ahead and say "well I will start dating when my breasts get a little bigger or my hair gets a little longer" or what ever. In the meantime, life slips away on us again!

Think of it this way too. Bunches of cis women have children to pull them through lonely times we don't most of the time. so I think they have a tendency to be too selective and stay in their little room. On the other side of the ledger we can be very exotic critters (or erotic for some of you) because of who we are.  If you play it right, you could end up ahead of the dating competition and be careful you don't get stuck by that needle in the haystack!

Horror Scope

I hate it when the "stars" know more about me than I do! From theFrisky:


Libra (September 23-October 22): You’re going to have to fight through your ADD and stop trying to pass the blame to anyone else. While it does entertain you to see how much you can get away with, especially with those closest to you, where does that get you? Ultimately, this procrastinating is catching up to you and if you want to get control of it, take more responsibility.

 Let's see...ADD? Oh, I lost my train of thought and yes getting away with as much as I can has always been entertaining. As far as procrastination goes, at least I didn't put this off!

"Horrorscope" is my term and your own can be found here

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The Road Less Traveled

So many times transgender journeys seem to be sugar coated and don't show much of  the pain and suffering.
Here's a transgender woman who is sharing her road less traveled:

Beautiful Dreamer

From YouTube, a video from a transsexual dreamer:

The Gender Wheel

We are born onto a gender wheel. Jumping off is hard enough. Jumping on another spinning one is even harder.

Yet Another Celeb Drag List

Star Crush recently posted list number 65,000 of celebrities in drag. (just kidding) Nothing really amazing except Adam Lambert. Then again,  he is not really a surprise either when you look at him as a male.

Bruno Mars gets positive reviews from his Saturday Night Live skit and I don't think Jimmy Fallon even made the list. Fallon though, spends so much time as a woman he could be the womanless pageant contestant who seems to be a little too good and a little too comfortable in his dresses.

As I said, not too much new ground but here's the link.

Republican Politics

I really try to not be too political here in Cyrsti's Condo but every once in awhile a story comes along to reinforce my idea of why I'm not a Republican. Here's the latest.

Just when they think you aren't paying attention, House Republican leaders quietly unveiled their Violence Against Women Act reauthorization bill on Friday, a proposal that differs from what the Senate passed last week in a handful of ways, namely in its omission of LGBT protections and its modified language targeting Native American victims of domestic abuse. The GOP proposal was posted on the House Rules Committee website with little fanfare, along with an announcement that the committee will begin moving the bill forward in a Tuesday hearing. Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-Wash.) will sponsor the bill and the House is expected to bring it to a full vote later next week, a House Republican leadership aide confirmed. Here is a link to their 288-page bill and a section-by-section analysis of what's in it. House Republicans are planning to take up the Senate bill, strip its contents and put their language into that bill. A cursory look at the bill reveals some notable changes from the bipartisan VAWA bill that cleared the Senate last week. The House GOP bill entirely leaves out provisions aimed at helping LGBT victims of domestic violence. Specifically, the bill removes "sexual orientation" and "gender identity" from the list of underserved populations who face barriers to accessing victim services, thereby disqualifying LGBT victims from a related grant program. The bill also eliminates a requirement in the Senate bill that programs that receive funding under VAWA provide services regardless of a person's sexual orientation or gender identity. Finally, the bill excludes the LGBT community from the STOP program, the largest VAWA grant program, which gives funds to care providers who work with law enforcement officials to address domestic violence.

 Read more here. Thanks Bobbie!

Trans Reversal

Watching a video of what we used to call "tearing down" after a night of cross dressing is not new. I thought I would pass this one along though because of how it's presented by the transgender woman:

Drag Queen and the Transgender Girl

Angel responded to the "What Not to Wear" post here in Cyrsti's Condo:

"We watched that episode. At one point Casey admitted that she stayed away from makeup and clothes that she perceived as being "too feminine" because she feared being regarded as a drag queen. I thought that was really sad."

Of course I thanked Angel for the wonderful  comment and began to think of her thoughts. How correct she was. I have written here about my drag "liberation".  I too was afraid of being perceived as a drag queen.  My feeling was much of the public thought I was one. Many commented "oh sweetie you going out tonight?" I wanted to scream "I'm always this way!" It's not a special night. In response I just stayed away from gay venues and drag shows in general.

Then all of the sudden friends began to invite me out to shows and gay clubs and I started to go through a few fun changes. On Halloween I found I could do the same thing as many genetic women do- put together a provocative sexy costume and have some fun. The experiences carried over to other evenings when I went out in drag once again and found it was fun. All of the sudden I was similar to a gay guy who does drag for fun or attention or whatever except of course I was a transgender woman doing the same thing.

The best part is I don't have to do drag every time I go. I am not once again shoved into a box I didn't want to be in. My girlfriend has said it best a number of times, I should embrace the times my transgender status works for me. The most recent was on the recent New Orleans trip when our tour guide was not so secretively looking down my top. Both of us were relatively sure he was gay, especially when his two male friends showed up to party with him. When I mentioned the incident to her she said "that's the fun of appealing to both sides of the fence".

We all know there is precious little fun walking our chosen gender paths so we need to grab it when we can. After all, it's our trans privilege.  Our own little club.