When Do You Stop Being Transgendered?

Silly question? Maybe never.
This all came up as I was swapping emails with an old friend who has a similar life experience as I. She is also considering hormones at the same age. She had just recently watched a couple short documentaries about a couple of transgendered women with her wife. Ironically, she found herself identifying with neither. Unfortunately, one of the individuals in the documentaries came off as rather clownish and even hurt the home discussion. Her wife is to the point that she told her if this is what you want, do it. The problem became, just who is "you"?
 My friend and I then ended up discussing just finding a niche for yourself in the transgendered culture.
Of course later I began to rethink the process and came up with this idea- At what point do you cross the threshold from identifying as a transgendered person and identify as just being you?
At times I feel guilty in some sort of way about not identifying internally as a male or a female. I think "Isn't there a problem here?"
I hate the phrase "It is what it is" but in this case "it" is.
In the past here I have detailed many of the formative experiences in my life in either gender.
The experience helped to understand both genders. I know what it is to compete in an alpha male world and how it shapes a man. That's why I don't hate them.
I'm learning to know what I so wanted over the span of my life about a female existence. Slowly but surely, I'm discovering the true essence of a life I only dreamed about.
Where does all this leave me? Right smack in the middle.
I have been so fortunate to carve out a small niche is society as a woman. My fondest desire is to continue the process just as far as a can.
On the other hand. "It is what it is" I can't erase so many years of male life either. 
At some point I would have a label at all anymore. I will just be me!

Who is the "Ass" Now?

Celebrated showman "P.T. Barnum" is erroneously credited with saying  "There's a sucker born every minute".

Unfortunately it seems the "Black Madam" is finding her share of them until she gets exposed again and taken off the street. 

The whole process begs the question "Who is the ass  now? Dumb or other?"

Once again the 'Black Madam' who was suspected of killing a British student with a botched bottom implant has been arrested in connection with another illegal enhancement procedure.

The 42-year-old, also known as Padge-Victoria Windslowe, was about to host a 'pumping party' at a home in Philadelphia when she was apprehended last night, police said.

 Windslowe went on the run last year went on the run after one of her patients allegedly died from a botched butt implant. Approximately two weeks ago, yet another of her "patients" nearly died and police obtained a warrant.

Hopefully this woman is exposed and recognized by an obviously desperate segment of the transgendered community and spends some time behind bars.

I'm ashamed to point this out, Windslowe is transgendered herself.

A Must Read for Transgendered Youth and Parents

"Jessie" has been in the news before.

"Julie Ross and daughter Jessie"

This story from "The Boston Phoenix" brings the life of the now 10 year old transgendered daughter from Brookline, Massachusetts.
Here's is an intro to an interview in the article which includes a blog link:

"Julie Ross didn't always plan to blog about her experience as the mother of a 10-year-old transgender child named Jessie (who, until her 10th birthday in 2011, was known as George).
The blog, georgejessielove.wordpress.com, grew out of an e‑mail list that Ross, who lives in Brookline, launched to keep friends and family updated on the big changes going on in her household (which includes her husband, Rich, and a teenage son named Harrison). She waffled about "going public," but when Hotmail shut her down as a suspected spammer, her decision was practically made for her. "I had so many things left to say," she recalls.
Ross's posts are brutally honest, funny, and occasionally tear-jerking. A single entry veers from amusing — Ross insists one morning that Jessie wear a shirt long enough that her penis wouldn't be obvious in leggings — to moving, when Jessie reminds her mom, at the end of that day, "It's not what the body parts are, it is the soul inside. I am a girl."

The last sentence tells it all!

Another Day In a Trans Life

As human beings, we have a finite time on the planet and perhaps infinity; depending upon which religion you happen to believe in.
I found out first hand when I had a loved one disappear over night-passing to the other side.
All of these are wonderful reasons to believe in living each day as it could be your last. It could be.
As a mere human being, I know I should try harder to appreciate the sun coming up. To try to appreciate the fact my breasts are becoming more than "buds" and the task of tying my hair back into a pony tail.
Don't get me wrong, I do live in wonderment all of this is finally happening to me.
The problem is slowing down and enjoying the journey. To just stop time for a second when I'm out in society as my chosen gender.
I've written already how I'm tracking a few of my formative years as posted here on the "Condo" and collating them on "Trannsnation.com".
One of many conclusions I'm drawing is how I felt so incredibly "liberated" on some evenings and so "humiliated" or insecure on others.
Of course I've tried to connect the dots with an erotic experience with the clothes, hair and the whole look but that doesn't work either. This was a deeper feeling of belonging. At that point, I knew my life was going to be very different.
Maybe those experiences have taught me to try to feel life as it comes-not just live it. Just being accepted visually as a woman in public is fine but feeling it is better. I want to stop time when I'm slowly walking down a sidewalk in my jeans, flip flops and loose top. The feel of my hair on  bare shoulders and back along with the soft  warmth of the day was just amazing!
In some ways I feel that is a more feminine reaction anyway.
Being the amateur evolutionist that I am, I believe (very simply) men evolved to attack and hunt and women to gather, raise the young and have a more intuitive sensual knowledge of the world.
Now I sit back and do a lot of observing. Men sometime amuse me and sometimes impress me. I was born into and played the "Alpha" male game outwardly for most of my life. I know where a man is and where he is trying to go and if he gets it right-good for him!
As for women? They have always been my passion. Their interaction with the world has always been a fascination since I wanted a doll baby for Christmas.
The toughest part is not to try to create experiences. Life is more than capable of accomplishing that!
So, on a day like today I can only write about and speculate on how the best way is to make the most of my life on this planet.
In the meantime, the day has turned out to be a very pleasant pre-spring day and is time for a nap!

Was It The Hormones?

Yes, I did get a bit emotional when I watched a trailer for the motion picture "Bully" which will be released in select theaters on March 30.
Obviously the title of the movie describes it-the increasing violent bullying going on in many schools. The activity once again drove a student in Ohio to violence in a high school recently when he brought a gun to school and killed a fellow student.
We all know transgendered youth are particularly prone to bullying.
The problem with the film is that it has been slapped with an "R" rating which effectively hinders a young person's ability to see it.
Read about it in this "Change.org" release, to see the trailer and to sign Katy's petition:
"A 17 year old in Michigan is trying to change the rating.

Katy Butler knows how it feels to be bullied. When she was 12, four boys came up behind her. They called her names and shoved her into a wall -- then they slammed a locker on her hand and broke her finger. “I held back tears while I watched them run away laughing,” she says. “I didn’t know what to do so I stood there, alone and afraid.”

So Katy, now in high school, was thrilled when she heard about a new documentary, Bully, that sheds light on America’s bullying epidemic. The film’s distributor, The Weinstein Company, even had plans to screen the film in middle and high schools across America.

But it was just announced that the Motion Picture Association of America has decided to give Bully an “R” rating, meaning no one under the age of 17 can see the movie -- and it can’t be screened in middle and high schools.

Katy thinks it’s ridiculous that the MPAA would prevent teens from seeing a movie that was made specifically to help them fight back against bullying. 

Potential Transgendered Advances In Ohio

Springfield, Ohio City Commissioners are considering a new ordinance banning discrimination based on "sexual orientation".
This ordinance does not have the huge loop hole which leaves transgendered women and men out.
Specifically, this is how the definition in the ordinance reads:
"Sexual Orientation" actual or perceived heterosexuality, bisexuality, homosexuality or gender identity , by orientation or by practice by and between consenting adults."
So of course when any reference to sexual discrimination appears, transgendered people are covered.
My disclaimer here is, I'm far from a legal expert. With all the political primary propaganda heating up I know that anything can be twisted. I believe my interpretation is correct.
This ordinance will be voted on tonight. We will see how well our cause is advancing in the "Heartland" of America!

The Winds of Political Transgender Change

It was not so long ago the average transgender or transsexual person could just hope change would come politically to our culture.
Now in many areas of the country, transgendered candidates are beginning to seek elected positions.

Trans Woman Candidate Gina Duncan

In some areas, the change is astounding.
Read this story from the "Orlando Sentinel" to see what a difference a decade makes!
Here's an excerpt.
When Randy Ross was running for Orange County School Board in 2000, he had a secret.

"I was worried people were going to find out I was gay," Ross said.

"What a difference a dozen years can make. Now there are three openly gay candidates on this year's Orlando City Council ballot — including Ross — and a transgender candidate running for the Orange County Commission.

As society has grown more accepting of gay people during the past decade, more candidates for public office have grown willing to campaign without concealing their sexual orientation. And with issues of equality — gay marriage, adoption and workplace benefits — heating up, more members of the gay community are drawn to politics."

You as well as I probably noticed there was no mention of a transgendered candidate in the opening paragraphs of this story- or society becoming more accepting of transgendered culture.When you follow the link though you will find several paragraphs towards the end of the article about Trans Woman Candidate "Gina Duncan".
It is crucial in these situations to not be lumped in to a giant gay category. In many ways the gay culture is as clueless to who we are as the straight culture.
Now, if we can educate the culture on who we truly are-change just could happen quicker!

"Big Talila Documentary"

This is a biographical documentary about a very unusual person named Talila. She was born as a boy in Israel 51 years ago. For the last 8 years she has been living in Pai, a little tourist town in northern Thailand. Talila talks about her life, past and present, as the audience views images of the beautiful Pai valley and its amazing people. Talila is a celebrity in Pai. Everybody knows her. The film shows her interactions with travelers from all over the world and with the local Thai people. Her physical presence alone asks people to let go of their limited ideas of what it means to be a man or a woman. In addition, Talila is not shy and boldly challenges people with her feedback. After knowing someone for five minutes, she tells them exactly what their problem is and offers her solution. She is very honest. When asked what she did in Israel, she does not hesitate to say she was a prostitute. It is a tribute to her that she has many friends, and has helped so many people. Follow this link for more!

You Tube Help for Transgendered Teens

I have felt many times how the "more mature" (old) of us just didn't have the educational resources available to us as we were growing up to face our transgender problems. We secretly crossdressed  which turned out to be just a temporary fix to our problems. Including the clothes, nothing seemed to quite fit. Something was still missing and most of us felt so alone in our trans world.

Christine Jorgense

The information of the day was mostly associated with female impersonators and drag queens.The exception was the "Christine Jorgensen" story (1950's). Then there was the curious poster I happen to see about a fast pitch softball team in the 50's whose players dressed in drag.
When I was 15 a friend who could drive and I went to his Aunt's neighborhood variety store and we would avidly read the weekly "National Enquirer" type papers. He would look for the women in most of them and of course I would look for the men who looked like women and drag queen stories.
That was basically it until "Virgina Prince" came along much later in my life. (1960's) My gender problems at that point seemed to have a bit more focus.

Of course current informational technology has made it much easier for a younger generation of transgendered and transsexual youth to connect with others of like background and form idea's on how to deal with their issues.

"Virginia Prince 1948"

 "Salon" recently ran an article :"Trans Teens Turn to YouTube" which provides real insight and many video links which I will pass along a couple on "Trannsnation".
Here's a short excerpt:
"Jazmine Khan, a transgender 15-year-old with wisps of blue hair and nails to match, is crying in her doctor’s office. “I just wish I was me already,” she says to the camera held out in front of her, and wipes away tears with her free hand. “I just wish that I could be a real girl.”
Moments ago, her doctor told her that she won’t be allowed to start taking estrogen to aid her full transition — not for a long while. That means it’s time for yet another shot of Lupron, a drug that suppresses testosterone production. The Canadian teen has videotaped each of her six shots thus far — along with updates on the changes brought about by the drug — and posted them on YouTube for the world to see."

Jazmine Khan

 On the same subject,  "Janie" posted an article called "Psychology Today" which mentioned younger transgendered individuals: Check her link here in the Condo (CD Janie)
"[M]any young people are no longer finding that categorization by sexual identity is meaningful or useful. They dispense with labels that limit behavioral freedom and instead are digging deeper to discover and embrace their true desires wherever that leads them. Their sexual partner’s gender matters less than the fulfillment of their physical and psychological desires…"

The bottom line is our culture is finally changing. For all of us under the transgendered umbrella seemingly it is changing from the bottom up which is great! Youth are having the courage to stand up for themselves and are finding the resources to back it up! For many "Stealth" is an unknown word!!!! They want change in society.

Yes, the future could well be bright for the transgender community after all!