No Pain - No Gain?

It's life's lessons-good and bad that bring us to the point we are today.  No big surprise I know.
Sometimes when I think I have this transgendered journey down to perfection and I can exist in society as my chosen gender I get a slap in the face.
An example came one day when I was out by myself in an antique mall.  I always find the experience relaxing and fun. This time I was coming off of a solid week of positive public feedback on my female presentation.
Maybe I was getting careless or sloppy but I got totally busted by three guys who happened to be standing around at the door.
Now I know situations such as that with men lead to intense scrutiny of any woman.
What infuriates me is that I still get tense in those situations and we all know any blood in the water will bring out the sharks.
At any rate the moment came and went  I'm sure the three guys went home with the story of the big stunning blond they saw at the antique mall-but not so much.
The reassuring point of all of this now is I don't feel the need to go back to the drawing board for some sort of major overhaul.
My basics are sound and the fact remains I'm never going to present female to 100% of the public all of the time. (Unless I went under the knife for facial feminizing surgery.)
I know as the hormones I'm on reshape my body and as my hair grows to the point I can wear it in public; all of that will make a huge difference.
Regardless though, experiencing painful lessons and learning from them is still in my immediate  future!
Confidence and attitude keep the sharks out of the water.

You Have Now Entered the "Transition" Zone

Perhaps some  of you "more mature" readers remember "The Twilight Zone" television series.
As a youth, the  mixture of self-contained drama, psychological thriller, fantasy, science fiction, suspense, or horror, often concluding with a macabre or unexpected twist at times kept me up past bed time with the lights on.
The "Transition Zone" often has provided some of the same effects on me. I have spent sleepless nights, although not so many with the lights left on.
Drama/Suspense? Well certainly more than I would like but not as much as some would imagine. Suspense? More than I would like on occasion. How do I or how will I present as female is fading. The suspense goes with it.
Horror? Outside of the last verbal attack I sustained in the restroom not so long ago-not much thank God!
Fantasy? I'm living it! I've said many times I can not believe how fulfilling my life is becoming.
Macabre? NO!!!!!!
Psychological thriller? Depends who you talk to. I feel very normal as a transgender woman. Some would consider that alone as a psychological problem. I don't and that's all that matters.
Unexpected twists? Many of them! Anyone who thinks changing gender directions isn't a complex learning process just hasn't lived as a transgendered person. Every time I think I'm ahead of the curve and have an idea of the whole process, along comes an unexpected twist!

Science Fiction? Well, I have always been fond of a few of the short crew women's uniforms on the "Enterprise".  I know what you are thinking, doesn't that go under "fantasy"? I will never tell!!!!
I don't have much more to add from my "Transition Zone".
Now, where's my cable tv show? 

Trans Women Find Jobs Are Hard to Find

Unemployed transgendered model from India.

Where's My Chocolate Mocha Ice Cream?

I have find myself entranced again by the women in chick flix  Months ago I caught myself following intently the interaction between women and men in a certain movie I was watching-totally from a female perspective.
Now, all of a sudden again I'm watching and learning more on a whole different level.
By the luck of the draw recently, several movies came along showing  female leads being hurt deeply by the men in their lives. At one point of time I would have looked at the emotions from a male point of view. Sure the men were wrong, but what were they going to do to get themselves "out" of the predicament.I  really only considering the woman's perspective from an anger viewpoint. After all they were only being irrational females.
My, how times have changed..
Now I feel the joy, the uncertainty and the pain of the women I watch on the screen.  When I watch a close up of Katherine Hepburn staring into the eyes of Spencer Tracy, I feel her emotion.
I didn't set out to do this on purpose. I grew into it over the last year or so.
I have compared the process to one of a young girl growing up. The process of course I missed in my life.
Many times I have been asked or have wondered was I just covering up my real female self. The obvious answer is yes I probably was or maybe I was just clueless. Really. none of it matters now because the process now is now so real.
So yes I am learning and feeling and growing from the "chic flix" I watch.
The obvious benefits are the natural ones as I grow in my new world.

Please excuse me, the next movie is starting!

A Fantastic Transgendered Photo Site!

From "T-girls etc" on Tumblr.
I'm going to post a couple here and a couple on my "Pictures and Video" page!

Now I Went and Did It!

I have chatted with all of you over the past months or so concerning the increasing detachment I am experiencing with my male self.
Tonight I visited with a genetic female friend who I have come out to verbally-not visually.
Earlier in the day I browsed one of the local antique malls in jeans, boots and sweater. Just a blond with a touch of foundation, eye makeup and lipstick.
For tonight I washed the foundation and lipstick from my face and removed my breast forms.  I switched to guys jeans and a loose sweat shirt which hid my bra; tossed on some tennis shoes and a ball hat over my own longer hair and took off.
My goal was to show her a glimpse of my female self.  Smooth face with a hint of eye makeup, longer hair and clear nail polish was a nice start I thought.
Only she could say if it was or wasn't.
The biggest impact of the evening happened as I walked through this crowded bar feeling as a total imposter as a guy! I felt as insecure as I ever had as a girl. Wow!
It literally shook me up enough I could barely follow her conversation for a couple minutes.
I guess you really do have to watch what you wish for. Just be prepared when it happens!

Pee in Peace!

I know I have spent way too much time on this subject but items keep coming to my attention I feel are worth passing along.
As with most subjects, there are places on the web where they are addressed.
To find or list a "safe" bathroom near you go to "Safe2pee.org"
Excuse me, after all this discussion-now I have to go!

Transgender Miss England?

By now you have probably heard about "Jackie Green."
At the age of ten, "Jack" started wearing girls uniforms to school and at the age of sixteen became Jackie officially after completing SRS. (Sex Reassignment Surgery)
At the age of 18, she is now a contestant for the "Miss England" beauty pageant!
"You Go Girl!"

I Love My Jeans!

 This is a post I wrote for another site. I love to contribute to a series of post from mainly genetic women. A look from a trans woman could be enlightening!

Yes I am a transgendered woman and I love my jeans.
Interestingly enough, I was criticized within my own culture for being so inclined.
If you are not familiar, many of "us" move through several stages before finally understanding ourselves.Very simply, we start as part time cross dressers and in some cases learn to find how much of a girl we really are.
More than once I was asked in my cross dressing phase "Why would I wear jeans? Don't you wear jeans enough as a guy?"
My answer was simple. I love jeans on women and I love them on me. As a matter of fact, I love them on me more as a girl!
As my life progressed, so did my desire to be a woman. Even to the point I am now on female hormones.
Along the way I realized how little I identified with the gay culture. It wasn't I had anything against it, gay has more to do with sexual orientation which is totally different from gender orientation.
It turns out this process really increased my fondness for jeans as I started to frequent straight venues.  Of course the great majority of women were wearing jeans. I fit right in.
Fashionably I can be correct with the right pair of boots and any number of tops or sweaters-with my jeans.
Perhaps I can compare the process as being a girl as a cross dresser to being a woman today as the hormones begin to change my body and I can fill out my jeans!