Finally!

I had a chance to slow down a little and look around at my life this week.
I have a couple weeks until my first doctors visit plus I have yet another therapist visit in approximately a week. Early next week I even have a couple days off in a row to catch up with all my writings and regular life (shopping!)
As much as I would love to tell you I have an exotic, exciting Halloween coming up, it's just not true.
That's OK, my love affair with Halloween I'm afraid has come and gone.
Gay clubs and Halloween parties are nearly impossible to present as a female for me. Sure the compliments I sometimes get are nice but being called an attractive man in a dress just doesn't make it for me anymore.
Now, having said that, I have flat out had great Halloween experiences including my recent date at the Witches Ball!
I also understand the holiday (of sorts) is a wonderful time to (sort of) come out to friends and family. At Christmas you can give a gift at Halloween all can see your gift as a new woman.
Whatever you decide to do, have fun and be safe doing it! I'll be thinking of you!!!!

‘Sorry, I Gendered You.’ ”

Check this amazing story from "America's Heartland"
"Male, female, transgender, no gender, gay, lesbian, straight. Labels don’t matter at Grinnell College. Students can share a dormitory room, bathroom, shower room or locker room with any of the above, if they choose."
The idea was driven by transgender students, those who don’t identify themselves as either male or female, and students transitioning from one gender to the other. Gender-neutral grew from one percent of the school’s on-campus housing in 2008-09 to 18 percent this fall, and officials discontinued asking students to divulge gender or orientation. The rooms include straight males and females living together, although those who self-identify as transgender are given priority, which includes five this fall."

The most impressive part of the story could be this excerpt:
"More students today don’t identify with the binary. That is a more recent shift,” said Astrid Henry, associate professor of gender, women’s and sexuality studies at Grinnell.Some students don’t want to be referred to in male or female pronouns because they carry societal labels, preferring the pronoun “ze” (for she) or “hir” (for he), Henry said. “Even in class as the chair of gender studies I get told, ‘I don’t want to be called she,’ ze said."
Further more, parents who visit their children on gender-neutral floors now will encounter these signs: “Queer Safe Space” and “Be an ally to gay and lesbians.
!8 year old "Austin Mckinney" ( a ftm transgendered student) said he has found plenty of allies and he feels
 comfortable here. "It’s a welcome breath of fresh air after high school,” he said. “People here even say to you, ‘Sorry, I gendered you.’ ”
Wow!

Heavy Metal Transgender Chick!

I really like this story! It comes from a site called "Gun Shy Assassin"
I have to tell you I'm not the biggest "metal music" fan although I did lose some hearing to "Black Sabbath" when Ozzie Ozborne was lead singer.
"Gun Shy Assassin" actually picked the story up from The Advocate who interviewed transgendered singer Mina Caputo, who  used to be known as Keith Caputo. The article centered about her new life in a band like Life of Agony.
As I read on, the article began to bring up a few very familiar themes. Mina said: “I was very boxed in that metal thing. The first album I’ve ever done was released and then it pretty much exploded in Europe and I kind of had no choice but to leave school. I didn’t want to sing in a band. That wasn’t really what I set out to do. I wanted to go to Julliard. I wanted to play the classics, get good grades…and I pictured myself living more of a feminine life then at 19 when this whole alpha male world just pretty much took over,” she said.
“I was in hell for years…It was more of a sense of responsibility and not getting labels down… the management, the band, and the fans. And I mean, we were a really, really really, really big band. We were doing concerts in Europe where 60 to 100 thousand people were showing up.”

Sound familar? Sure! Perhaps you like me tried to play the "alpha male" game.
The real impact of "Mina's" story to me is yet another visible person in our society has stepped forward to educate others on a positive level.
From women such as "Stana" at "Femulate" speaking to college students to entertainers such as "Mina" and "Chaz Bono"  telling their stories: the world will be eager to listen and learn!
                                                             

Another Big Date Set!

I'm sooo excited my first appointment has been set with the doctor who will actually supervise my hormone therapy in approximately two weeks! Yay!

Former TV Host Now Transgengendered Beauty Queen.

From " Tempo"
A finalist of Amazing Philippine Beauties 2011 is creating ripples after it was learned that she was a former male teen star who co-hosted “Master Showman.”
The former singer-actor-host used the screen name Akiro Verano prior to changing it to Zyrene Mae Verano after undergoing a sex change operation in Thailand in 2008. He admits to taking hormonal pills to enhance her femininity even further.
The Philippines I believe sometimes rivals Thailand and the Japanese with an incredible number of beautiful transgendered women!

Transgendered Goddesses!

Transgender Goddesses! Why didn't I thing about this? Read this comment from the "Montreal Gazette"
" I’ve been thinking about the dating scene, about how many men flee when they find out about a trans woman’s medical history. So, I thought maybe we should approach it differently. Rather than ask men to accept us as ordinary females, maybe we should portray ourselves as Transsexual Goddesses, exotic women to be pampered and served and adored. Hey, so much of the dating game is about imagination, anyway, ie. him imagining (and hoping) what sexual delights he might get from her. We shouldn’t make it too easy for them, should we? Nor should we grovel and act like they are doing us a favour by accepting us as women. To heck with that: we Goddesses are doing them a favour by allowing them to serve us, and if they serve well, they will be rewarded accordingly, yes?
Indeed, I am a Goddess . . . Just kidding . . . (Don’t send me nasty emails!!)
And, no, this is not bordering on BDSM or D/s lifestyles . . . not that there’s anything wrong with that, yes?
Smiles . . .
Happy weekend!
Jillian "
All right...maybe I did think of it! lol

Womanless Beauty Pageant Transgender Style!

Miss Pacificana returns to Guam for the first time in nearly 5 years.  Here are a couple of the transgendered contestants!

Here's your link for more! Miss Pacificana 2011 contestants <http://bit.ly/o9Z0QM>

Mixing Beauty and Transgender Ideals?

From the "Huffington Post"

"Amos Mac and Zackary Drucker Explore One Transwoman's Experience in TRANSLADY FANZINE (PHOTOS) 

With his latest effort, the burgeoning publishing mogul (Mac) shifts a gear that looks to me like a focus from the people to the artist -- the rich, mesmerizing and artistically elevated art publication, TRANSLADY FANZINE. "

 

As I checked the post this paragraph specifically stood out to me:

 "There's Drucker applying makeup from a Louis Vuitton makeup case, before another photo, a glamour shot of three purring blondes -- is one of them Drucker? Do all blondes look alike? What about the homogeneity of femininity and how Drucker owns and subverts it? I mean, she's a girl and wants to be pretty, right? Don't we all? Are transwomen allowed to just be fucking pretty for a minute, or is she required to be a constant embodiment of a struggle? How exhausting. Radical feminist and queer communities can be terrified and punishing of a transwoman's desire to "pass," though "passing" often just means "looking good," something I -- a feminist and queer -- personally strive for every day and no one gives me any shit about it. What about the longing to be stealth, to simply be your gender without all the politicized hassle, so many marginalized people trying to snag you for their own? Maybe a girl just wants to throw on some eyeshadow and hit the mall, jeez. An essay by Drucker, included in the publication, outlines a female's lifetime of negotiating fashion for self-expression, with somewhat higher stakes. Mac includes text, as well, a thank-you letter of gratitude and solidarity from photographer to model, and the stakes here are higher, as well."

WELL SAID!!!

Video Artist Zachary Drucker

 

Maybe It Does Get Easier?

I agonized all day long before I called the recommended physician who would work with me on administering hormones.
I finally summoned all my courage and made the call.
Of course the first thing that happened was that I was on a lengthy hold. (It seemed like hours!)
A totally frazzled receptionist finally answered my call and I found  all my worry was wasted effort.
I nervously told her I was a male to female transgender person and had been referred to the doctor by my psychologist.
She was great.  She calmly asked me if my interest was in hormones and how far along was I in my transition process. I calmed down and told her all I could.
As she asked about how I was planning to pay and other questions, she mentioned an appointment was in limbo for a short time as the doctor's whole practice was changing.
It turns out the practice is changing from family based care to one totally based on transgender, gay and lesbian health care. In fact the doctor has been so busy he is adding a partner.
Once again I witnessed how different I'm not. The transgendered population is opening the door and exploring life in their chosen gender!
The best part was how she explained how closely the doctors would work with me on the hormone program!
I really need to stop worrying so much and get on with life.