Transgender Mother in Law

The signs of an aging population in our country has reached our transgendered culture.
In an article I found from a site called "10,000 Couples", a woman tells the story of her transgendered mother in law her husband was so reluctant to talk about or even know.
Here is part of the story:
"I wanted to be sure in the early days of our courtship that we were aligned on the values and principles of life, and accordingly, I put him to a few tests. Among the first was the acceptance test. Tolerance was a deciding factor, so being from San Francisco and thrilled by the opportunity, I took him to a transgender bar. Asia SF was well reputed for gorgeous transgender starlets and amazing food.  Not realizing, of course, that I was exposing him to the world I found so normal and fun, he had a heck of a time wrapping his head around the idea that the headliner, “Jasmine,” was a transgender, as she cooed to him to the tune of Madonna’s “Like a Virgin” in her provocative and skimpy wedding dress and promised abundant and firm cleavage that, quite honestly, gave me a run for my money.  Later that evening, while we talked of the fun we had had, he blurted out, “My father is transgender.”  I remember smacking him in the arm hard, telling him that it wasn’t funny to make a joke, and then I watched all the color drain from his face, and he cast his eyes downward in what I perceived at the time as shame.  Barely audibly, he whispered, “No joke.”
When we began to plan our wedding, I wrote a personal letter to his “dad,” expounding on my personality, tolerance, and absolute acceptance, and I made clear that “he” was welcome in our lives at any time. I didn’t share this with my husband-to-be, writing the letter instead in confidence and quiet, as we never spoke much of “Dad.”  A few days later, we got a phone call from “Dad,” who told my future husband about the letter and the relief "he" had felt upon receiving it.
Ann made her transformation in the years before modern medicine recognized the possibility. Funded entirely by Stanford Hospital in the late 1970s and cared for in the children’s wing to assure privacy and avoid media sensationalism, this remarkable man, after a life of inauthenticity, joining the Navy as a man, marrying his high school sweetheart, seeding three children, and ultimately discovering he could no longer live this lie, saw fit to allow science to use him to pioneer the way for medical alterations that are all but customary on many fronts today, almost 40 years later.
Thirty-plus years later, Ann is now 72, and although many deal with the needs of aging parents, our aging parent in need is much different than the norm. Being a “lab rat” for modern medicine to pave the way for the future left in its wake medical obstacles and an entirely new understanding of the human condition in aging."

This story sheds a huge amount of light into some of the transgendered or transsexual "pioneers" in our culture and the absolute resolve to follow their path into another gender. Not to mention the wonderful courage and caring soul of the woman who wrote it.
More to come...follow the link to experience it!

Damn Mirror

As I arrived home from a very long and difficult day to a slightly chilly house; I took off my male drag clothes and slipped on an comfy oversized sweater.
On a trip through the bathroom I happened to take a quick glance in the mirror.
Normally at this point in time I see a guy with a slight beard and tasseled hair.
Not tonight. 
For some reason I suddenly saw a softer feminine version of me. The moment was so surprising I went back to the mirror for a second opinion and there she was......

Writer's Cramp PMS?

Every so often I just can't come up with anything "profound"
I know what some of you are thinking...hell, she never comes up with anything profound. Ha Ha.
My week was profoundly good this week due to some great interaction with several friends I have. You are all sooo wonderful! You see you have to use the word profound in it's context!
As I sit here wondering if this post will go any further than the last three I started and stopped; what am I missing? Where can I go?
Well....there are several coulds.
Could it be the candid honesty of a 7 year old at a friends house when he first saw me. He calmly said "boy?" and I calmly said "sometimes". His lesbian grandma tried to silence him somewhat and I said he was only being honest and the whole process was just educational.
Could it be the all encompassing process of spending an entire day with a friend and discovering yet another layer of femininity. I didn't have time to worry about the world viewing me as female.  I only had to view the world as one.
Could it be my gender forces within having yet another brief battle with the tire guy as a guy or the intense sympathy I felt as a girl as I tried to softly console her.
So I guess life is always tossing "writer's cramp" at all of us.  We just can't see the forest for the trees.
Some trees just grow faster than others and are difficult to write about!
Let's see...where  did I put that Midol?

Transgender and the "Chaz"

By choice I really haven't written much about "Chaz Bono's" appearance on "Dancing With the Stars."
After all, what could I really add to the story about "Cher's" former daughter who crossed the transgender fence and became her son.
I do however, follow a "Chaz" story or two and occasionally find something of interest on occasion.
One was an affirmation of Bono's recent television appearances. (Which I do find to be a positive for the transgender community)
The affirmation came from a transgendered female to male attorney by the name of  Dhillon Khosla .
I wondered who "Dhillon" was anyway and who cared?
It turns out he wrote a book about his transgendered journey to manhood called One Man’s Journey Through Womanhood
I haven't read the book but decided to pass along the before and after pix of Dhillon.

I've mentioned several times how fascinated I am with our transgendered brothers. Perhaps the before and after pix here explain why.
For the life of me I can't understand why Dhillon would give up that wonderful hair!
No just kidding.  (Maybe)
Deep down inside I do understand why he made the change. I just have a hard time accepting him giving up the female existence that I desire so much!
The end result is I'm so happy he could do it!

Going Out The "Out" Door.

Breakfast this morning with a dear friend included me opening the door of my entire life to her as well as the address to this blog.
I can't begin to say what her friendship means to me!
Perhaps it is easier to write it!

Trangendered Reality Versus Validation Part II

As promised, here are some more observations from my weekend day out with a girlfriend and her son.
The day was easily my most complete day as a woman since the NFL game I went to with another friend last year.
As I pointed out before, I live a lot of life as a girl. From socializing in straight venues to shopping I do it all.
So why was the weekend sooo different? 
The difference (I feel) is the fact I had no escape route.  All my favorite spots have built in escape routes if I need them.  Bartenders and managers know me.  I know the paths of least resistance if I need to use them.
I knew before the day was over I would have to brave the "porta potties".  Of course the sanitary conditions were a big challenge but the public was a bigger one. Here I was in the afternoon light waiting my turn with both genders of all ages.
No way out, If I wanted to live life as a girl, these situations were as necessary learning experiences.
Sure I was validated as a woman by standing in line and taking care of business without a second look. Reality was doing it.
Reality was not sneaking away from "hawkers" singling me out attempting to sell things. Again there was no where to go. I had to smile and keep on walking.
Bottom line was I was put in a corner..enough playing , talking and planning about being a girl.
It was time to put the woman where the mouth was!
She loved it!!!!

Transgender Validation Versus Reality

Being validated as a woman is what used to be called passing in my book.(or blog)
Reality is living an extended amount of time as a woman.
Yesterday was an exercise in reality for me.
I went to a fall festival with my friend and her 8th grade son. Yes she is a cis-female.
The nuances of finding parking standing in lines for entertainment, food and of course shopping were incredible.
After a short period of time I had to look down at my breasts and clothes to remind myself who I was. I was no longer worried about being validated as a woman by the public. I simply was one.
I will relate some of the smaller nuances of my date later....such as the porta potty and the bleacher seats!

Handmade Fashion For You!

A friend of mine designs her own line of bracelets, bags and jewelry.  I was looking over her web site and came across at least a couple of pieces that may be of interest to some of you.
Particuarly if you are into the "Goth" culture or are looking for a special addition to your exotic Halloween costume check out this hand made bracelet!

Fishnet hose, a short lacy black dress, boots and a head full of out of control dark hair and the evening is yours with this bracelet completing your outfit!
Check out more at Liz's website.
Cyrsti

Then there was Bob?

On my way back from my "session" with the "Doc" I stopped to relax and catch up on my phone messages at my favorite "pub".
I no more than settled in and brought the "droid" out of my purse (android phone) when I saw him eyeing me from across the bar. I figured nothing more would come of his interest. He was thinking one of two things anyhow. Either I was trans and he was curious or he was curious why a single woman was there in a sports pub to begin with.
The next thing I knew he was sitting next me and before I could react he had his hand on my thigh. Let me point out "Bob" was an older intoxicated man and quite the active one.  Quickly I learned a move I really didn't know I had...crossing my legs and putting my arm down the middle of the top leg so my hand was at my knee and elbow at my my waist.  Good old Bob couldn't get his wandering hands anywhere important.
About this time one of the female bartenders was going to intervene but I assured her I could take care of myself with good old Bob.
I simply changed the subject from me to him and started mentally harassing  him ever so gently. I even involved him in a conversation with one of the female regulars I knew would annihilate him!
He quickly grew tired of me fending off his six pair of hands and wobbled over to a pair of blonds who entered the pub. I went back to my world hoping he wasn't driving in that condition.
Good old Bob taught me an important lesson about women and their surroundings. The situation can change so fast. Not always for the best!