Girl's Night Out!

It seems when I want change to occur just write it about it here.
Several posts ago I wrote about my recent attraction to male attention and them to me.
Last night of course that all changed.
One woman gave me her phone number and two others just wanted to meet.
I also did have a couple drunk guys fool around like drunk guys do. Maybe there was a full moon somewhere. Well it found me!
Maybe it was my new strapless top. OK, not so new, I just wore it without a bra. For the first time ever I ventured out without a bra or padding. I probably have small "A " cup size breasts without hormones.  I really liked the look and it was very cool on  a hot and humid evening.
I've never been one to tape and bind and enjoy the feel of the clothes so the look was a plus. Most importantly I was able to follow my motto "Own what you wear".
I threw my shoulders back and was proud of  my "little A's" lol!
Now what do I say if I call the woman who gave me her number?

Film Critic Cyrsti!

"Gun Hill Road" has been chosen to kickoff the 2011 version of LA's oldest film festival.

The drama  marks the directorial debut of actor Rashaad Ernesto Green. Esai Morales stars as a dad who, after three years in prison, returns home to find that his teenage son has become a transgender woman, played by real-life transgender female Harmony Santana (pictured).

Actually it would be nice if this picture comes close enough to my part of the world to be a critic.
Santana was just starting her transition and was an ideal person to play the part. She needed to play both male and female in the film and was just beginning her development and.... what a wonderful name!!!!

A Man's Woman?

Used to think I enjoyed the company of women more than men.
Now I'm not so sure. Maybe I'm one of those women who doesn't have many female friends or doesn't like other women? Why?
Lately I've been craving interacting with a guy as a girl.  Feeling the passions of his life.Certainly this is not the first time I have thought this way. BUT
Just the thought of all this confuses even me!
A trans girl who wants to be one of the boys? Really?
Maybe this is coming from the amount of time I'm spending recently at work with women. In guy drag.
I found myself thinking "Wow I need some time with another guy to find my sanity!" BUT this is how it spins. I want to spend it with them as a girl. Maybe the whole idea is not so rare?
I have known women who feel their gender drowns in drama. They hate the "passive aggressive" nature of females as a whole. They prefer hanging out with guys.
Sure I'm speaking in broad generalizations. No matter how much it is denied, there is always a dose of sexual tension between the genders.
On the other hand, we have all known women in our life who function very smoothly with men, sexual or not.
At this moment that seems to be a very comfortable place!

Time to Process?

Met a real live man tonite. One with a personality and even a sense of humor.
He is a man's man with macho hobbies and all.
We met at one of my regular spots and the bartender who was working is one of the few remaining people anywhere who has seen me both ways.
So,I knew she was taking great interest in my "date"
We went our separate ways and he left first, kiss and all. As I sat for a second and collected my thoughts, the bartender came by and asked how everything was.
I could only say "great, I'm just trying to process the evening.
Maybe I could have said I needed a second to find my way down from cloud nine!

On the Horizon

I know things have been a little quiet around here in the "condo".
I have taken the creative energy to do a little work on my "how to" book.
It's called the "common man's" guide to becoming a girl.  I know what you are thinking. "Not another how to book"!
Before you throw it in the trash, here's my angle. My niche.
The guide will be aimed at the novice crossdresser attempting to navigate her way through a confusing gender minefield.
Most of the so called help guides I've seen start with a very pretty boy with a thin body.  He of course transforms into a gorgeous female.
What about the rest of us? The ones who can't afford or can't sacrifice family and loved ones while they make the most important decision of their life?.
What about the rest of us who have to work very hard to present female.
I have a real problem with self discipline and organizational "stuff" so my guide may be a work in progress for awhile!
Just wanted to let you know what was going on, other than a bra less look I'm working on!

Transgender Love Scene Coming To The Small Screen

From TV Guide and William Keck, the Hung series will take a transgender turn.
Ray Drecker, the male prostitute played by Thomas Jane will bed down with transgender beauty Jamie Clayton.
 Initially, Jane was not so sure of the idea. "When Thomas first got wind of Ray's new adventures, "the idea of kissing a man was not a comfortable one for him, but he did great," says creator Colette Burson, who is exploring the possibility of making Kyla Ray's full-time girlfriend in Season 4. "They had to kiss for hours. After his initial shyness, she became a woman for him."

Any insecurities Thomas had disappeared when he arrived on set. "I asked, 'So where's the guy?' and was told, 'That's her!'" he told me at the 2011 Saturn Awards. "There was this beautiful girl who blew me away."

Agreed!.

Independence Day!

Happy Fourth of July to all in my part of the world. I've touched on what independence means to all of us.
Thanks to all of you transgendered veterans who helped make our independence possible.
Most of us know others who paid the ultimate sacrifice... trans or not.
Happily, it now looks the Veteran's Administration has recognized our needs and is moving to address them.
Have a safe a good 4th!!!!!!!!!
Cyrsti

One Year Ago!

It is very hard for me to believe I can go back on the blog now and see what I was up to a year ago.  Have I learned anything or not?
Here is one of those posts I would like to share:

"Becoming transgenderized takes a lot of work!
In my little corner of the world the heat and humidity has returned- along with the need for cool summer fashion.
The transgenderized process becomes a bigger challenge. Obviously  body hair is a priority along with foot and toe nail maintenance. No winter jeans, sweaters and boots to cover imperfections.
Fortunately, I've been able to put together some outfits that have presented well.
No matter how you present and how complete the transgenderized process becomes, you still have to exude the confidence to enjoy the process. There is nothing wrong with me!
One very good way to build your confidence is with the "sun glass" game.(Or destroy it)
Put on your best outfit and your sharpest sun glasses and head for people.  My choice was Friday about 6:30 at an outdoor upscale mall.
No big secret to the process. I could observe everyones reaction to me young and old, male and female.
Would all or none recognize I was a transgenderized person?
Friday, I'm happy to say was a huge success.  I got nothing from the public. Window shopped the mall and made my two pub stops.
The only contacts who knew my background were my regular bartenders.  Seemingly, the better I present, the more fun they have with our "secret".
When this happens to you it is the time to push your boundaries and build your confidence!
Work on your voice and interact more with others. Reach out to them!  Regular contacts will view you more as a person!
If by chance you didn't present so well go back to the drawing board! Unfortunately, trial and error has been my drawing board.
So many problems with so many looks starting with the hair. I really don't want to tell you the number of different wigs  I have accumulated!
I have one I call the "suicide" blond. I dearly love it! Streaked highlights and great volume. It's fun hair.  BUT:
If I wear it I'm way more likely to be read. I learned the hard way!
I fight a constant battle with my transgenderized self. She needs to stay within herself.
When she does the world is a much better place!"

The first thought that stands out to me was that I was looking for reaction to me.  These days I don't. Of course I'm always searching for that perfect outfit to look my best! What woman shouldn't? Overall though, I have made huge strides feeling comfortable who I am in my chosen gender.
Throw out my blond debacle a couple months ago and I have followed much of my own advice. Certainly the year has made a huge difference...mostly mental.
As my interior female has enjoyed her chance to grow, life has become incredibly more enjoyable.
I can only guess what next years post will say!

Woman's Best Friend?

I have two dogs who are very close to me. As dogs do, they give unconditional love. I needed their love during some very difficult times in my life.
A friend of mine asked me several months ago if the two reacted different to the two me's.
Good question and the answer is yes.
Both are partial to the male me which is not surprising  He takes them for rides, feeds them and gives them more attention.
When she starts to get dressed they disappear.
It is very easy to give dogs too much credit. Sure they are keen observers of humans but I'm not so sure they are capable of reasoning why she's a bitch and won't treat them to the moments they enjoy.
What they don't understand their combined weight of over 160 pounds does not put them into the stylish "Pocket Pooch" status. They don't understand I cant risk them doing something crazy my girl self can't control. Yet.
So for the time being they will have to keep thinking I'm just the bitch who takes over quite a bit.
Then again, dogs can be bribed and maybe it's time for her to do it!
It will be their little moment of transition.