Transgender Osmosis News?

I recently finished a hour long question and answer session with a graduate student working on a transgendered thesis.
As we sorted through the usual questions of when did you feel transgendered first  and how much counseling had I gone through, here came the big question- how did I make new friends as a transgendered person.
Fortunately, I could fall back on last night's experiences to answer the question.
I was having an outstanding time conversing with a cis-girlfriend of mine. At the same time we were talking to one of our regular bartenders about her day on the job and I noticed another rather attractive woman switch places with the guy she was sitting with to get next to me.
Well, I was in heaven! She started a conversation almost immediately about the different places we have seen each other.
Question answered, I made a new friend as a transgendered person by osmosis.  She had seen me around and I was interesting enough to talk to. The next step was the politics of nice.
I've mentioned before the art of communication between genders and how transgendered fits in. I call it the politics of nice.
Number one, I've learned plenty on how women talk to each other. The verbal or non verbal, the eyes and the touches all form a basis.  The icing on the cake is just being nice. I try to project that basic fact. Underneath all the window dressing, yes I'm transgendered but I am a good person that you may want to know.
I wasn't always this way.  On occasion I was bitchy and a loner. I did learn however that some women are as curious about us as we are about them.
As we talked "girl talk", being transgendered sort of just faded away and I'm gained another friend through osmosis!

So much more satisfying than be a bitch or a loner!

Got Questions?

Got email!
If you have questions or comments here is my email: "cyrstih@yahoo.com"
Please remember there is no "stupid question".
Most likely, I've already been asked anyway!
I'm also here to help!
Thanx!
Cyrsti

Invisible?

I had a great time last night with two girls (real) I went out with for some dinner and drink.
Both of them are in their mid 20's and quite attractive. My best case was to be mistaken for a mom or older sister. I didn't know the worst case was to become invisible!
We had unknowingly made plans at an upscale pub/eatery at an outdoor mall in the area. The only problem was the mall was staging a free "Gin Blossom" concert at the same time and the place was PACKED.
I know I don't present as female to all the folks all the time so I judge my success or failure on percentages. My unofficial tally was that I got busted by about 5 people out of 100. I'll take that!
As soon as we left the bar and went to our table, I stopped worrying and became invisible! My mother in law years ago had told me about something like this. My sister in law used to be really attractive and Mom said she rarely even got a glance when she was with her.  I had never experienced such a thing. After all,last night was my first time out with two young attractive women. They had several guys stop by the table to chat and they never even looked my direction! In fact one guy never looked at either one of us. He only talked to the one friend at the table.
Hell it didn't matter if I was TG, pink or green!
Actually, I'm not upset and the evening was a great success.  I was fortunate to learn another little lesson on how the "other half" lives.
I'm supposed to have another night out in a couple weeks with a couple "older" girls (real). I've been out with one before but we shall see how the "group" works!

Don't Answer Too Fast! Transgenderized Dilemma!

During another of one of my evenings out, I encountered yet another communication stumbling block.
I have been slowly building a new friendship with a  worker at one of my regular stops.
She knew, I'm sure- she was dealing with a transgendered person. (Probably for the first time ever) I was taking it slow until one of my long time friends who also works there came up and joined in the conversation. She immediately added quite a bit more info about me.
All of that was fine but all of the sudden the conversation took on a whole new dynamic.  She started talk to me as a "transgenderized" person for a second and then jumped into a real "girl on girl" discussion. I really had to not anticipate where the question was coming from.
Remember, I'm still relatively new to the one on one female conversation as it pertains to real life.  Sure I've been on the outside looking in.  Plenty of the "I love your ear-rings or hair". Now it's more of the in depth talk about guys, family and shopping.
Instead of the usual  questions of why I do what I do. (Understandable) The discussion started that way and then went girl to girl. I was really surprised!
The best part of the whole evening was she knows I'm going out tonight with two of the other female bartenders to a competing pub in an upscale mall.  She is relatively new to the area and asked a few questions about where I go.
It would be great fun to spend some time with her!

Womanless Weddings and Beauty Pageants.

I'm fascinated with the number of pix and stories showing up on the web about "womanless" beauty contests.
On our "kitchen page" I've added a couple of my favorites.
A few of the "girls" go way past the old "hey I'm a man dressed as woman" comedy skit.
While I'm not naive enough to believe this was the first time for some of the "womanless" contestants in femme.You have to wonder who helped them to toss on a dress and make up and look that stunning.
If indeed it was their first time.  Will it be their last?
Most of us know the power of seeing a beautiful girl. If you happened to be male and that is you in the mirror, how you gonna stay down on the farm?  You can see the look of love in their eyes from the audience's adoration.
Just wondering!

A Short Trip to Heaven!

Just had to share last night's experience which goes along with the new picture on the "library page". I was finishing up the holiday weekend (worked most of it) with a stop to my regular pub to watch my number one Reds.
Shortly after the game was over, one of the regular bartenders came up to me with a question. I could tell it wasn't going to be about beer or sports or fashion or makeup.  No big deal, another question concerning my "transgenderized" status.
She floored me (fortunately I was sitting down) when she shyly asked if I would join her and another one of the bartenders for a drink some night. She said "I know you like to be left alone and watch your sports, but we thought we would ask you". (About half of that is true-it's all according to who is bothering me)
I don't know who was happier when I accepted, I do know I was ecstatic!
I'm pretty sure the get together is this Thursday, so I'll have the details!

Transgenderized Confidence Game

Becoming transgenderized takes a lot of work!
In my little corner of the world the heat and humidity has returned- along with the need for cool summer fashion.
The transgenderized process becomes bigger challenge. Obviously  body hair is a priority along with foot and toe nail maintenance. No winter jeans, sweaters and boots to cover imperfections.
Fortunately, I've been able to put together some outfits that have presented well.
No matter how you present and how complete the transgenderized process becomes, you still have to exude the confidence to enjoy the process. There is nothing wrong with me!
One very good way to build your confidence is with the "sun glass" game.(Or destroy it)
Put on your best outfit and your sharpest sun glasses and head for people.  My choice was Friday about 6:30 at an outdoor upscale mall.
No big secret to the process. I could observe everyones reaction to me young and old, male and female.
Would all or none recognize I was a transgenderized person?
Friday, I'm happy to say was a huge success.  I got nothing from the public. Window shopped the mall and made my two pub stops.
The only contacts who knew my background were my regular bartenders.  Seemingly, the better I present, the more fun they have with our "secret".
When this happens to you it is the time to push your boundaries and build your confidence!
Work on your voice and interact more with others. Reach out to them!  Regular contacts will view you more as a person!
If by chance you didn't present so well go back to the drawing board! Unfortunately, trial and error has been my drawing board.
So many problems with so many looks starting with the hair. I really don't want to tell you the number of different wigs  I have accumulated!
I have one I call the "suicide" blond. I dearly love it! Streaked highlights and great volume. It's fun hair.  BUT:
If I wear it I'm way more likely to be read. I learned the hard way!
I fight a constant battle with my transgenderized self. She needs to stay within herself.
When she does the world is a much better place!

Mirror, Mirror on the wall...

Please tell me I'm the fairest of them all!
On occasion, the mirror does tell me that. Then again, the mirror has been known to fib!
I have always had a struggle with that mean old mirror.
It told more than a thousand times I was beautiful only to be stared and laughed at in the first public venue I visited.
More than once the mirror said "you are plain and unattractive" and I never had a problem.
Before you want to jump to conclusions concerning the mirror's judgment, let me reassure you I passed through "transgendered puberty" years ago. I don't frequent malls and such in a micro mini and 5" heels.
Luckily, before I tossed the mirror into the trash heap , we called a compromise.
I told the mirror what I wanted to achieve and we have been working together to be successful.
My ideal was to be a 40ish, big and curvy girl. (My age and size made that a reality! lol) 45 and 5'10".
I wanted to be the woman who was upscale casual.  My love affair with skirts and dresses went away years ago. My image was to be shapely jeans and boots in the winter and flats or flip flops in the summer. (although I do have some "peek a boo" pumps and 3" wedgies that make occasional appearances).
Makeup was allowed to be heavier but always done well and not trashy.
Finally, my long wavy hair  worked well with my size.
Now, when the mirror approves and says GO , I  flip the switch to maximize my walk and movements. I don't hurry to a seat. I take my time and I'm in heaven!
Yes, the mistrusted mirror did aid my current female incarnation.  It helped me to be the friendly, attractive and slightly exotic woman at the pub. (Most of the time)
When the image just doesn't work, then it's time to consult the mirror and go back to the drawing board.
But,as fewer changes are needed, that mean old mirror becomes just a tool again.Not a critic.
Just in time! Don't need another 7 years of bad luck!

I wish I was a good enough writer to capture the transistion feeling!