Always on Stage

It shouldn't come to anyone in particular as a surprise,  when you cross the gender frontier and enter the feminine world, you are always on stage.

For example, today I went Liz's martial arts class and then to our usually busy grocery store. Today wasn't too bad though because we weren't dealing with a snow storm like Connie is in Seattle. Hopefully she stayed home and won't be catching any fish at the fish market. I hear it's tough on acrylic nails!

At any rate, as I waited for Liz's class to end, a woman came in with her child for the next class. Along the way, she struck up a conversation about what all the different color uniforms meant. As we exchanged pleasantries, I don't know if she ever realized she was talking to a transgender woman, or even cared. As we chatted, I was glad though I put a little extra effort into my makeup.

A little later, at the grocery store, I was happy too when a product representative asked to take a picture of us when we stopped to sample a fresh pasta product. I almost said only if I could get a copy for my blog.

When I got home and started to relax with our usual PBS cooking shows (Public Broadcasting), I began to realize one again how women are always on some sort of stage. Plus, as transgender women we have to work twice as hard to close the looks gap with cis women. I am so envious on occasion when I see a cute cis woman in her leggings, loose sweater and baseball cap.

I guess I must be doing something right though when Liz makes gentle fun of me for taking too long getting ready to go.

Weekend Dreams

For some reason, it looks like a rare quiet weekend for us coming up.

As it stands now, there are no social group outings to go to, no dinners, no anything.  Basically though, it is the proverbial "lull before the storm." 

Next week, I/we have four things to do, including a cross dresser - transgender support group meeting, a trip to the therapist, a dinner out with our meet up circle and a Valentines dinner to be decided later.

I washed my hair yesterday, so my "salon hair" is gone and the natural waves are back. But of course, the new color is still there. Unfortunately too, my fingernails are going to need attention too. They are starting to chip (as they always do) at approximately the three week mark. Since I don't put the extra money and time out for acrylics.

Other than that, I will have to decide if I will wear my new/old glasses to any of the appointments.

One thing is for sure, the week will fly by before I know it.

As my Mom used to say, don't wish time away. Your life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer it gets to the end...the faster it goes.

Hitch up Those Big Girl Panties

I know my painfully shy past plus early struggles when I came out of the closet into a feminine world hurt me around new people. I am referring back to the stranger (man) in the doctor's office yesterday. Instead of pursuing a conversation at all, I decided to essentially ignore and run.

Here is Connie's take:

"Don't be so shy, girl! It shouldn't matter if the person is an L, G, B, T, Q, or anyone else. Not only did you miss an opportunity to connect with someone else, you caused a missed opportunity for them to connect with you. 

Just last week, as I was perusing the produce aisle, there was a woman on the other side of the bins that, I noticed, was looking at me (not so) discreetly. As we both worked our ways down to the end of our respective aisles, we came to the end-cap display of lettuce. She gave me another look before sorting through the heads, and I began my sorting, as well. I couldn't let the opportunity pass, so I said to her, "We have to find a big one; lettuce has gotten so expensive!" She seemed a bit surprised that I'd talked to her at all, but she did reply with a comment about how the price went up after the E. Coli scare awhile back, but never came back down. That was enough to start a short, friendly conversation, and I think we both left a little happier as a result. I'm pretty sure she'd never met a trans woman before, and I'm also sure that she knew she was talking to one - if not at the beginning, then by the time we parted. Had I not said anything, though, the woman would have missed learning how "normal" a trans woman can be, not to mention learning how lovely I am. ;-) "

You are right! Old habit's are hard to break. I will say though, I have always had a much easier time talking to other women than men.

I have a tendency too to rely heavily on Liz for support in many potentially new social interactions. Slowly but surely I think I may be getting better. Ironically, though,  I'm more apt to still have more male interests to talk about. Sports etc. My other interests create drama if I try to bring them up (politics, religion, etc.) so I don't.

Talking about produce is a great idea though, except when I want to yell at at yet another old lady eating grapes out of the bag without buying it.

Blah, blah, blah!

Doctor Time

Yesterday I went with Liz to two of her doctor's appointments.

I decided to dress "down" for the occasion. I wore my black jeans, sweater and tennis shoes with very light makeup and a fleece jacket.

Nothing really happened except with one guy in one of the doctor's offices. From his mannerisms and voice I immediately thought he was gay. At any rate, he kept trying to make contact with me. Who knows? Maybe I should have made contact. Perhaps he was another transgender person, even a trans man.

I didn't though, so maybe it was yet another opportunity missed.

Musical "Privilege" and Trans Admiration

I write once a month here in Cyrsti's Condo concerning Liz and I karaoke adventures with the cross dresser - transgender group. Like it or not, several come just to chill and see if there is any interaction with any other of the patrons...and there used to be. A couple of the older guys in the crowd seemed to not be intimidated by the gender frontier. All of that is good of course, until the guy gets too aggressive and begins to take on all the evil characteristics of an "admirer." Or, a man who likes a trans woman and/or cross dresser for that reason only, or sex.

Maybe too, there is a connection with the music. As Connie points out: 


I don't know if there is some connection with karaoke and trans admirers, but I've had more than my share of being hit on at karaoke night. This one guy would order a drink for me every time I was up singing, so that it would be sitting there for me when I got back to my seat. In his doing so, he eliminated the possibility that I'd refuse the drink, so it was that much harder for me to refuse his unwanted advances as the evening went on. I finally made a deal with the bartender, and he would make non-alcoholic versions of my drink when this guy ordered them for me. I also learned that the admirer was attending this monthly event just because I would presumably be there, so I started showing up an hour later. The bartender informed me that he'd been there, but left when he could not find me. 

Another lesson on womanhood? I think so, because this guy got more aggressive with each drink he would buy for me. After the third one, I think he thought he had "bought" me, and I should have been willing to succumb to his advances. 

As far as that cross dresser who is in love with Liz, I wonder if he thinks that, since she is with you - a trans woman - she could also be interested in him. Has he started buying drinks for her? :-)"

No, he has not started to buy drinks for her but has offered to hire her to find other social settings for her. Which at that point, Liz knew she had gone too far and more importantly, I was right :)

I must be doing something right or wrong. I have never been approached by a guy. Just that one woman last time. It's probably a combination of my looks and the fact Liz and I are usually inseparable  when we go out.