Tuesday, February 5, 2019

Musical "Privilege" and Trans Admiration

I write once a month here in Cyrsti's Condo concerning Liz and I karaoke adventures with the cross dresser - transgender group. Like it or not, several come just to chill and see if there is any interaction with any other of the patrons...and there used to be. A couple of the older guys in the crowd seemed to not be intimidated by the gender frontier. All of that is good of course, until the guy gets too aggressive and begins to take on all the evil characteristics of an "admirer." Or, a man who likes a trans woman and/or cross dresser for that reason only, or sex.

Maybe too, there is a connection with the music. As Connie points out: 

I don't know if there is some connection with karaoke and trans admirers, but I've had more than my share of being hit on at karaoke night. This one guy would order a drink for me every time I was up singing, so that it would be sitting there for me when I got back to my seat. In his doing so, he eliminated the possibility that I'd refuse the drink, so it was that much harder for me to refuse his unwanted advances as the evening went on. I finally made a deal with the bartender, and he would make non-alcoholic versions of my drink when this guy ordered them for me. I also learned that the admirer was attending this monthly event just because I would presumably be there, so I started showing up an hour later. The bartender informed me that he'd been there, but left when he could not find me. 

Another lesson on womanhood? I think so, because this guy got more aggressive with each drink he would buy for me. After the third one, I think he thought he had "bought" me, and I should have been willing to succumb to his advances. 

As far as that cross dresser who is in love with Liz, I wonder if he thinks that, since she is with you - a trans woman - she could also be interested in him. Has he started buying drinks for her? :-)"

No, he has not started to buy drinks for her but has offered to hire her to find other social settings for her. Which at that point, Liz knew she had gone too far and more importantly, I was right :)

I must be doing something right or wrong. I have never been approached by a guy. Just that one woman last time. It's probably a combination of my looks and the fact Liz and I are usually inseparable  when we go out.


  1. Well, maybe if you got up on that stage and sang you could garner some attention! ;-)

    I know that my stage presence is partly to blame for the attention I get. I've been a ham on stage ever since I played drums in my first band at 14. I was hoping to attract the girls, and I chose the drums because that was a real guy-thing in those days (desperately overcompensating to hide my gender identity). Many years later, when I had the first opportunity to be on stage as my authentic self, I found it so freeing to let my full femininity flow. I'm not trying to attract anyone, but I guess every Yin has its Yang.

  2. I'm sure I would garner a lot of attention! None good! :)