Nothing to Wear

In the recent year or so, "nothing to wear" meant agonizing over what outfit I could put together as I faced the public as a woman.  Fortunately, as I have become more secure in what my style means to me and how I can shop to fit it-times have become easier in the closet department. (No pun intended.)  I am also helped immensely by my partner Liz's acceptance of my style and her suggestions and little gifts. So now I have nearly none of my male clothes left which was the plan-until this brief gender detour this weekend.

Years ago my daughter converted to her husband's Jewish religion and tomorrow is my grand daughter's Bat Mitzvah.  If you aren't Jewish like I am, I had to do a little research and this is what I came up with: According to Jewish law, when Jewish boys become 13 years old, they become accountable for their actions and become a bar mitzvah. A girl becomes a bat mitzvah at the age of 12.  

It's expected over a hundred peeps will be there between tonight and tomorrow.  With a bunch of them whom I haven't seen for awhile or others who have heard of my transition-I will be the androgynous -transgender elephant in the room.  Several attendees do know of my cross dressing past but my appearance now will certainly show them I have gone way past that.

So tomorrow, as one of the set of grandparents, I was asked (required) to stand up for the ceremony with the Rabbi.  Exactly how I was going to present was one of the first questions when I came out over a year ago to my daughter.  Turns out, grand daughter didn't care how I was attending-she wanted me there. I did obsess over thinking, what the hell, what a great time to come out to the rest of the world who was left, who didn't know already.

Finally though, I thought that would be a selfish act. I should not be taking away any of the spot light from my grand daughter on her special day. So I'm attending as what's left of my male self.

By wearing a very large loose T-shirt one day and a short sleeved vest the second, I can get away with not binding my breasts-yet.  Something I'm sure you trans guys sympathize with.  Plus, being the cynical bitch I can be, showing a little development will keep a few tongues wagging. Speaking of wagging tongues, Liz and I are having a contest on how many times she calls me by my feminine name.  Which she does without fail-except she shouldn't tomorrow.  It's going to be tough on her to call me my male name and mispronoun me as a "he".

All of this is over and done by tomorrow afternoon though and all will go their merry way and Liz and I will do some Dayton TGBLQ Pride partying!  As far as the grand kids go, my goal is to have a sit down Q&A with them later this month-no parents allowed.

Should be interesting!

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

Well honey, I kind of was going out with the boys tonight and I  kind of was going fishing!"

It's Backwards Both Ways!

I'm afraid you all got a glimpse into the contortions my mind goes through with Mandy and Jen and who was going to L.A.! (And who was already there)  Liz always tells me it's a good thing I'm pretty.  A better answer is, it's a good thing-for the most part I can keep my dyslexia to a low roar, stay in the present and roll through life.

One of my best examples of me being me happened in one of the workshops I sat in on at Trans Ohio, which was for therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists.  All of them attended to get extra degree credits and hopefully understand more about what makes transgender women and men tick. (I wanted to see what made them tick!)  They were licking their chops to get at me when I told them I was bi-polar, dyslexic and happened to be transgender. I would have counseled them for half of what they charge!

Getting back to the point at hand- this was the mix up:

Cyrsti,

To set the record straight, I'm the girl planning to do some sightseeing en-femme in LA early next year... How much and where is still up in the air...

Jen: As time gets closer, and I get further into what I plan to do (and when,) we can revisit this. I'd love to meet you for lunch, if somehow you can get down to the Union Station area...that's where I'll be the day I leave town. Just not sure of the date yet. I'm not brave enough to either drive very far in the city, or try city buses en femme. 

Hopefully this summer will give me enough practice that I can feel more comfortable in my feminine persona. That's something I still need to work on. And I have to view myself from the woman's standpoint, not the man's! Great advice...

Mandy

Jen is the one who works on Hollywood Blvd, very near the Chinese Theater! Whew!!!

I'm going to end this post now while I think I have all of this together.  The bottom line is - even if I'm confused, I still love you all interacting!!!