New Link

Here is a link with more info and pix from Albany from my last post.

In Depth Transgender Stories From Albany

Lana White, 30. Served in the Air Force. Divorced father of two children, ages 7 and 11. Worked as a railroad dispatcher locally. Native of New Orleans, relocated recently from Albany to South Carolina.

"Being a transgender person is not a decision. It's who you are. Society puts certain constraints on us and I lived with people calling me gay and I lived in fear of being beat up or retaliated against. I hid it in the Air Force so I could keep my job. It's not a matter of putting on men's clothes or women's clothes. I am who I am.

Accepting: "I've dated men and women. I'll go to a football game with the guys and enjoy that experience. I also like to shop for women's clothes and makeup. I expected more problems when I moved to Albany, but this is a pretty accepting area. I don't broadcast it, but I'm pretty open with who I am. I've been accepted as a woman at the railroad. But if someone slips up and uses the male pronoun, I don't get upset.

Passing: "Everyone's journey is different. I've been on hormone therapy for three years. I spent time in counseling, but I don't need a shrink to tell me I'm a trans person. I've been passing as a woman. When I'm out in the world, it's just easier that I'm seen as a woman and I don't get any undesired attention. I haven't had surgery, but I find the question kind of personal. Have I asked about your genitals?

Read more: http://www.timesunion.com/local/article/I-hid-it-in-the-Air-Force-2341881.php#ixzz1fdCeSCxO

Admittedly, Lana looks very feminine and you probably are thinking "sure she would have an easier time."

Another person in the series presents a more realistic look at what many of us face.

Mary, 56.

Served in the Army in Germany. Retired police officer in suburban
Pittsburgh. Lives with wife, Betsy, a Presbyterian minister, in
Pennsylvania. The couple worked as missionaries in Africa. She has
been living full-time as a woman for nearly a year. She was in Albany
over the summer for a transgender conference.

"It was a long struggle for me denying who I was. I had a lot of fear
and guilt. I was threatened and beat up a lot when I was Barry and
starting to act like a girl in high school. I was shaving my legs and
the guys would chase me out of the boys' locker room and beat me up.

Cop anger: "Many years later, I started dressing occasionally as a
woman. People thought I was gay. My cop partner on the night shift
said he was going to kill me and pulled a gun on me when he found out.
I'm 6-foot-4 and 250 pounds and the other officers couldn't believe
this is who I am. I became very depressed and suicidal.

"I started dating Betsy and had no plans to tell her, but one day I
just blurted out that I liked to dress as a woman. I thought that
would be a deal-breaker. Amazingly, she said that was OK. She thought
I was a big guy with a feminine side. She found that sweet. She knew
my secret, but I couldn't keep it inside anymore.

Suicidal: "We went to Africa as missionaries for our church and I
started dressing as a woman in the house there, but it was very
dangerous. Betsy said I needed to get help. I started psychological
counseling in 2007. I became more and more depressed and made several
attempts at suicide. I had my service revolver in my mouth. I was
ready to jump from a bridge and my wife called me on my cellphone and
talked me down.

Trans support: "Last year's trans conference in Albany was the first
time I dressed as a woman in public. I was scared stiff and almost
didn't go. I turned my car around three times before I got the courage
to attend. A couple of trans women, Jenna and Lana, took me out on the
town in Albany. They were sweethearts. They made me realize I wasn't a
freak. I saw there were other people like me.

As always I try to just give you the highlights.  Follow the links to yet another informational set of articles by brave transgendered people!

So Little Time-So Much Thought

As my time grows ever closer to severing my ties with the most invasive male portion of my life, I find it harder and harder to stay focused on my job. My job is the only real part of my life I live as a male. It is until the first of the year...I am done. (Yes I do have a way to support myself.)
Here's an example from today.
I do have a circle of friends who know me in one of three ways-only as a guy, only as a girl or maybe both (rare). On occasion I communicate with them by text message. I'm the first to admit "texting" is not the greatest form of communication and I have been known to text my friends who only know my real self (girl) from my male job.
Here's my question. Do I text more as a guy when I'm working as one? Is that possible? I know what you are thinking "Cyrsti has too much time on her hands if she all she has to do is think of this?" Ironically I'm thinking of this while I am working!
The point is I do think my remaining maleness does creep into my texting and I am certain I go through "detox" when I come home from my job. Even my texting is different. I think.
Also, another interesting answer to a long standing question is coming soon.  What will be the most powerful influence on my life? Will the lack of a male "detox" period in my life or the effects of hormones have quickest effect. I'm sure many of you reading this have gone through the same process and have your own answer. I'm guessing you would tell me "detox" will have the biggest initial impact until the hormones begin to really take effect. Then again all of our results are highly personal and will vary.
One point is certain. No one should ever wish time away.  I'm trying hard not to wish part of this month away.  So far I haven't been very successful.