The Shrinking Transgendered Girl?

I read an article by a big girl explaining the "big girl" role.
Here is a small part.
Must be overly cheery, smiley, and always happy. Not a complainer. Must take everything in stride. Must not shine. Can be pretty, but no prettier than the main character. Role of big girl is an attitude, not a number on the scale. Must be willing to dim your light so others can shine. (from "BlogHer")
I thought, that's me! In reverse.
The majority of the time I'm the "shrinking transgendered girl". The rules are to never really make eye contact. Don't speak until spoken too and give the minimum social effort.
The ultimate in trying to blend or the the ultimate in trying to disappear in a crowd?
What am I missing here? A lot!
To many, I come off as a bitch. They wonder why I don't speak. I totally miss out on some possible great interaction.
That's crazy. So what if I'm read as transgender? I am what I am. It's my ego (male?) slipping through with my inane "rating" system. At the end of the evening, I judge the success of the night on how many people "read" me or not.
Just as the "big" girl needed to change her focus, I need to change mine. I should judge my evening on when and if I met anyone or entered their lives at all.
Missing life due to shrinkage is no fun!!!!

Pioneer Women?

I do possess a degree in history and follow the past with some sort of passion and interest.
Of course transgendered history is very high on my list! I do believe through the past we can sometimes predict the future, or at least use the years as a yardstick. How far have we advanced? If at all?
Of course we all remember "Christine Jorgensen" who broke the gender barrier early in the 1950's.
The first British Transssexual possibly was "Roberta Cowell".
Roberta actually went through her operation nearly a year a half before Jorgensen.
There obviously won't be national holidays to remember pioneers such as these two ladies. Think of how difficult it was for them to go through basically an experimental procedure.
Think of how society as a whole viewed any gay person, let alone a trangendered one?
In society we are still largely made to ride in the back of the bus.
However, thanks to courageous  women like these, we have been able to move up a couple of rows.
Sooner more than later, we too will be able to sit where we want on the bus!

My Time of the Month?

Maybe it's the winter "blahs". It seems my part of the world has been locked in the grips of a gray snowy winter longer than usual. Maybe it's the decision of where and how my life may go is affecting me? No matter how I cut it I'm on this cliff looking down at major decisions. Do I continue down the same dual gendered path or do I explore the wild wonderful world of hormones?
Complicating the matter even further is the sexual aspect of all of this. Which, by choice I don't discuss here.
Right or wrong, I have lived my life on it's own playing field. It has called the plays and I have responded. Do any of us have the right or opportunity to really challenge destiny?
Deep down inside the girl in me feels so at home. Life obviously has shown be the path but not how to walk it or the courage to do it.
Then again, is all of this just a reaction to coming off of a tremendous high at the first of the year?
New look, new friends and challenges have leveled off as they always do. I cherish my friends and they are so difficult to find that I find a tremendous satisfaction when I find one.
Maybe it's time for my own personal trip to my beauty salon.  Why not work with a new hair style? Cis-women have done it forever. I just have been hesitant to go that route too much.
One of the benefits in my part of the world is the changing of the seasons. The rebirth of life in the spring is just around the corner.
It's time to shop for more than new spring fashion!