Jealousy

 I could use the kinder and gentler "envious" word but I can't. Yesterday I was just jealous. 

It was grocery shopping day and Liz and I went out to battle the heat and stock up on all the fruits and vegetables we needed for our new diet. 

As we started our journey down the produce isle, I couldn't help but notice a woman in a short romper style print dress. I was entranced. The whole process took me back to all the old days of desiring so many cis women. Not sexually. I wanted to be them. To feel what they felt. 

As all the old feelings came flooding back to me, I told myself the usual. Even though I have achieved more than I ever thought I could in a transgender world, I will never in this lifetime achieve the body and look of the woman I was admiring. 

All too soon she went her separate way in the store, my dreams faded and the reality of the day set back in. 

That's all Good...But...

 Perhaps, by now you have heard the good news "Mj. Rodriquez" (left) transgender lead in the Pose television series was nominated for an Emmy. This of course is a first for a transgender actor or actress. 

However, the trans entertainment news is not all good. 

This is from EW.com:

"The LGBTQ media organization acknowledges the past year resulted in a unique situation for theatrical movies, but it still went ahead with its 2020 Studio Responsibility Index, their report card for sorts on how well Hollywood's major studios brought LGBTQ representation to the screen. GLAAD found that, out of the 44 films released by those entities, none of them included trans or non-binary characters.

In fact, this is the fourth year in a row where this has happened. By GLAAD's own estimates, that's zero trans characters out of almost 400 films since January 2017. The last time a transgender character was included in a major studio film — Disney, Warner Bros., Universal, Paramount, etc. — it was an "offensive caricature," as GLAAD dubbed it: Benedict Cumberbatch's All in 2016's Zoolander 2."

Thanks Bobbie for sending this along!

All the Detail

Facebook in all it's wisdom sent me this picture today from eleven years ago. 

This was taken during one of my very first trips to the women's room at a venue where I was able to "flip" myself. Meaning I started to go there as a guy with my deceased wife before she passed and after I started to go there as a novice transgender woman. 

What I notice also in this picture was my attention to detail. From my long wavy dark wig, to my jewelry, rings and sunglasses, I tried to cover all the feminine basics

The same is true when I go back and explore some of the earliest posts of the Cyrsti's Condo blog. I noticed I wrote much more about the effort I put into to looking the best feminine self I could do. As the years went on and I started to live fulltime in the feminine world the blog drifted towards more of a lifestyle effort.  

As I look back on those days so far ago, I do remember how terrified I was but on the other hand, how excited I felt. 

The end result of course was I finally figured out my male self had to go into the closet and I could start a life as my authentic self. 

 

Guilty Pleasure

 Every so often I overlook all the Hollywood glitz and glamour associated with many transgender models and celebrities and develop a secret crush. My latest trans crush is Trace Lysette:

 

A.J. Clementine

 AJ Clementine is an Australian model, social media influencer and activist.

In 2020, the young star collaborated with beauty brand Australis on an eyeshadow palette with colors that celebrate her trans experience. 

Turning Your Demons into Angels

 "Back in the day" when I was strongly considering making the big jump and starting to live as my authentic feminine transgender self, I considered the whole process as sliding down a slippery slope. One day, I would just go too far, make the leap and put my male self into the closet. The more I explored the world as a transgender woman, the more I wanted to. 

Looking back at the whole process now, I have a tendency to .look at it as an interaction between my personal angels and demons. I suppose it all goes back to when I was growing up and I considered my transgender leanings as being demons. 

Of course, finally all of the "demon" thoughts began to change. Rightfully so, my mean old male self became the demon to kept me out of the world for all those years. As my feminine self took over, she certainly wasn't an angel. She partied hard and for the most part had a good time. Perhaps she was making up for lost time. 

Each of us are individuals trying to make our own journeys as pleasant as possible. 

The quicker you are able to turn your male demons into female angels the better your life will be. Each of us has to seek out our own path to do it. 

Cyrsti's Condo Thought of the Day

 "We didn't have a choice to be transgender but we did have a choice to be survivors."

JJ Hart

Geena Rocero

Geena Rocero is a Filipino American supermodel, a transgender advocate, and founder of the media production company Gender Proud that speaks for justice, equality, and trans rights. Before Geena Rocero came out, the world knew her as just a successful model. Now she is the face of the LGBTQIA community rights movement.

On the Road

 

As I mentioned, today is my youngest grandson's birthday (13th). Also, due to our new diet, we will be packing our own sugar and flour free lunch. Obviously too, we will not be partaking in any of the birthday cake or ice cream. Sooner more than later I will have to run around in the shower to get wet.

As I try in this post to try to tie up some loose ends, here is a comment/question from Connie:

" There's no doubt that trans people can be as rude as anyone else. Was the quote said directly from the DJ, or was the T word just added by the accuser to up the ante? Not only can anyone be rude, anyone, including trans people, can be too easily offended, sometimes. I probably would never return to a place where I was called the T word, but I would apologize if what I had done was thought to be rude. I hope that there isn't a blow-up over it all."

To clarify, the guy has never come close enough to me to use the "T" word. So, I took for granted what I heard was second hand and by an individual who over the years (literally)  has seemingly done her best to snub the group, 

After all, transgender people are no different than the rest of the population, Some are good folk, some not so much.

The person involved in the whole event supposedly, has never gotten back with me. For all I know, the DJ denied ever saying it or even apologized.